Significant Quotes

[Wifflesnook]

Thanks Mary. I am getting through the day, and as you suggested the anticipation was worse than the reality. But now I have to carry on as you all know.

[mfh]

When I Met My Muse

by William Stafford

I glanced at her and took my glasses off–they were still singing. They buzzed like a locust on the coffee table and then ceased. Her voice belled forth, and the sunlight bent. I felt the ceiling arch, and knew that nails up there took a new grip whatever they touched. “I am your own

way of looking at things,” she said. “When you allow me to live with you, every glance at the world around you will be a sort of salvation.” And I took her hand.

[mfh]

Joseph Campbell "Every student of comparative mythology knows that when the orthodox mind talks and writes of God the nations go asunder; the 'deśī' – the local, historical, ethical aspect of the cult symbol – is taken with absolute seriousness and the chameleon is green, not red. Whereas, when the mystics talk, no matter what their deśī, their words in a profound sense meet – and the nations too. The names of Shiva, Allah, Buddha, and Christ lose their historical force and come together as pointers of a way that all must go who would transcend their time-bound, earth-bound faculties and limitations."

Joseph Campbell, The Masks of God, Volume 1: Primitive Mythology

[mfh]

Navigating Grief In grief "setting your sight" changes. In the early days of loss, it might mean getting out of bed and getting dressed. Later it might be socializing and allowing pleasure back into your life. Keep moving the sight line. Eventually you will see you have come a long way and hope always lies ahead. In grief, like using a landmark survey tool, set your sight line based on where you start.

[mfh]

http://www.connect.legacy.com/profiles/blogs/how-you-feel-when-you-lose-a-partner?goback=%2Egde_3889763_member_237229167

Good piece on spousal loss

[kayc]

Sehnsucht is an apt description, thank you for sharing that Mary.

[mfh]

On Facebook Today: Transcending Loss: Understanding the lifelong impact of grief Mother's day is on the horizon. For men and women who have lost their mothers, it is a poignant day. For women who have lost a child (of whatever age), it s a poignant day. For women who were never able to be mothers, it is a poignant day. For all people who have a challenging relationship with their mother, it is a poignant day. Let yourself feel the sorrow but also focus your attention on LOVE: on a tender, enduring love that gives life literally and metaphorically.

I wrote this yesterday, hesitated to post it knowing there is pain and joy for many around our moms: Remembering Remembering Mom.pdf

Mom and my niece on her wedding day. Mom was 91 and died at 99:

And with all that, I am off to Chicago. I carry all of you in my heart as I travel.

Peace

Mary

[MartyT]

Your piece about your mother is beautiful, Mary, as is the picture of your mom with your niece. There are many, many mother figures who never gave birth to children of their own, but whose selflessness, role modeling and unconditional positive regard have made a profound difference in the lives of other people's children. Clearly you are one of those, and we are blessed to have you in our midst. Happy Mother's Day to you, and to women like you. ♥

[kayc]

Good luck on your journey, Mary, keep safe!

I have a hard time at Mother's Day because I never had a hallmark mother. I couldn't relate to June Cleaver or Hallmark cards and commercials. It was always tough. When I grew up and went through infertility, it always hurt when the church would "have all of the mothers stand"...and I'd be the only woman sitting, tears welling up in my eyes, as my husband gave my hand a squeeze. Finally, after years of trying, I joined the motherhood ranks, but I never forgot what it was like to not be able to conceive or to lose a child (been there, done that). Our society doesn't seem to take into consideration those for whom Mother's Day poses something else. I had a mother who was physically and emotionally and verbally abusive. She didn't show up at church to hear us sing our solos. My dad came home drunk and left me to attend my "Father/Daughter" banquet without him. My mom humiliated me time and again and said hurtful things to all of us. Our home was not only not nurturing, it was not safe. You can imagine how Mother's Day felt! It was hard at best.

This year I will be at my DIL's parents' house on Mother's Day. Both of my kids and my DIL will be there (my SIL has to work). It will be nice. But my hearts are with all of those for whom it is hard. I think esp. of Shannon, missing her mom.

[enna]

Beautiful pictures Mary. Enjoy your visit with Cathy and get those eyes taken care of so you can get back to Bentley.

Marty, you are so right - some of the most beautiful people I know have never borne a child yet they are the most nurturing and caring people I know.

Kay, once again you amaze me at how sensitive and beautiful you are. I love how you seem to see only the positive in things. Your life has been an example of how we do not have to be 'like' anyone. We are in charge of our own destiny. I am so glad that you have had siblings who have all been there for one another. I keep a special place in my heart for you and send you love and hugs.

I am always grateful for all the blessings I have had in my life. My most treasured one right now is seeing my daughter be the most beautiful mother I know. She is everything a child could ever want. My grandbabies are so lucky. My prayer for her is that she continue to be the person she is now. Anne

[kayc]

Anne, you're one of the sweetest people I know and I'm so glad you have your daughter & grandbabies! Hopefully I'll have some in a couple of years. My son just found out he gets to graduate early, he's doing a double major and he found an independent advisor that helped him getting some things to count for both majors and waivers, so now he just has one year left! As soon as he graduates and gets a job, they want to start trying.

I hope this trip of Mary's not only accomplishes it's purpose, but she has a great visit with her friend as well. I bet Bentley will be waiting with bells on his paws when she gets back!

[mfh]

Kay, how lovely...thinking of me. Cathy and I just had a loooooonnnnggggg and wonderful visit over lunch at a restaurant overlooking a lake on a lovely day. lots of good sharing much needed by both of us....She is doing ok but is far from healed and struggling with some physical fall out from chemo, surgeries, etc. She has just go eto pick up her husband from PT...he just had a TKR. i am watching the cookies in the oven . I see eye doc tomorrow. Then drive home as soon as I can see well enough...either tomorrow as I won't start out too late or Friday a.m. Thankyoufor your thoughts. I am reading posts while Cathy is gone. I read yours about your mother and I just feel sad even though I knew this information, reading it just made me feel so sad for you. I do know about childhood abuse...My own. You are in my thoughts ESP on Sunday. You, on the other hand, from all I read and intuit have become a wonderful mom and human being.

Peace to all,

Mary

[mfh]

Your piece about your mother is beautiful, Mary, as is the picture of your mom with your niece. There are many, many mother figures who never gave birth to children of their own, but whose selflessness, role modeling and unconditional positive regard have made a profound difference in the lives of other people's children. Clearly you are one of those, and we are blessed to have you in our midst. Happy Mother's Day to you, and to women like you. ♥

Dear Marty, your message leaves me in tears. Thank you so much. I do believe you- there are many women who are mothers having never birthed a child.

Peace to your heart on this day,

Mary

[Wifflesnook]

Mary I loved your piece on mothers. It seems to me that your mothering skills have been used many many times over and I hope that the love that comes back to you shows you how much you mean to so many people (including me). I am totally exhausted after being with my daughter and her two little ones. This is the second time I've come back like this. Am hoping it won't happen again, but of course this was the weekend of the anniversary of Pete's death and of Rosie-Mae's birth so it was very very emotional. I just need some space now to be with Pete in spirit.

Mother's Day in England is linked to Easter and is Mothering Sunday, usually in March.

[kayc]

Marty is right, there are many mothers who have never birthed a child. I was one of those too. (My first husband had a child while we were married...I raised him until he was three, at which time we divorced. I am still in touch with him and his half sister...he's now 40 and a wonderful father and she's a wonderful mom!)

Mary, Iike your job (watching cookies). Bentley wishes he was there to help you!

Jan, this is an all too emotional weekend for you. I like to think her birth brought good to an otherwise tragic time.

[enna]

A good thought to start the day.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness and

let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.~ Kahlil Gibran ♥

Anne

[mfh]

Anne, this is lovely. A friend had this entire quote on marriage done in calligraphy and framed for us. It has hung in our home for many many years and when I hang my pictures, it will be back up in the kitchen...where we spent time cooking. That is where it has always hung...

[feralfae]

Thank you Anne. That was a part of our wedding ceremony when David and I married in the gardens of the Baha'i House of Worship in Wilmette Illinois when the cypress trees were a lot shorter than they are now. It is a truly beautiful expression of loving without clinging.

fae

[mfh]

fae, I have been in that temple many times with and without Bill. He lived near Winnetka (in Northbrook) before we married and I had an office in Northbrook and would sometimes go sit there and be still. It is a lovely place for the exchange of vows.

yes, I think Kristen might benefit from a Facebook page....free, simple to do, upload some quotes from satisfied customers and their pups, etc. I hope she gives it serious thought though I know this is so soon after your loss, Kristen, that you might get a friend to help.

[mfh]

In my e-mail this morning. Applies to all of us.

[enna]

From a FB friend - thank you, Elaine.

"No measure of human grief can stop Earth in its tracks. Earth rolls into sunlight and rolls away again, continents glowing green and gold under the clouds. Trust this , and there will come a time when dogged, desperate trust in the world will break open into wonder. Wonder leads to gratitude. Gratitude opens onto peace." ` Kathleen Dean Moore, Wild Comfort: The Solace of Nature, p. 103

[enna]

Beautiful thought, Mary. I love the picture. I think we are all heroes.

[feralfae]

Dear Anne,

Thank you. So perfectly beautiful.

Much Love,

fae

Dear Mary,

Ah, yes, the dragon lesson, as Doug called it: how to fight the dragons, yet love their souls, and all the souls of Earth. A true heroic challenge that I have yet to master.

Peace,

fae

[mfh]

Thanks for posting that quote. I just saw it on FB and came here to post it when voila...up it popped. Great minds (hearts) run the same channel.

[mfh]