feralfae Posted July 2, 2013 Report Share Posted July 2, 2013 What a richness is here for me today! The gratitude for the gift of life and awareness is such a gift in itself, and reminded me of how wonderful this life is for me. And the quote about eing free resonated deeply. Thank you Marty and Mary. You two are also gifts to us all. *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted July 2, 2013 Report Share Posted July 2, 2013 What a spiritual place this is! It resonates so much with me. Before Pete died, although we were very interested in spiritual matters and talked about such things to each other they were at the back of our lives. Now my life is so different and I am so much more conscious of the spiritual side of life. In fact I think I live there more than in the 'real' world. It's good that I have my daughter and grand children to go to see to sort of ground me! I still don't know answers nod won't until I die and somehow are reunited with Pete, but in the meantime my soul is fed here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2013 http://www.care2.com/greenliving/is-expectation-the-greatest-force-on-earth.html Though I am not sure I totally agree with this piece i.e. it says expectations are more powerful than the energy of love...but I do believe that expectations are super powerful as described by this article. I post it here because many people expect themselves to be UNable to meditate, to sit still, to focus and based on this article...that does affect your ability to meditate, of course.. I think expectations also affect our grief journeys. As a therapist, I expected (and at some level still do) myself to be able to handle the loss of Bill and the gut wrenching and shocking pain much "better" than I did. After all, I knew how. I also expected myself to handle his deterioration and my caregiving better. I do believe, based on my personal experience, that those expectations led to behaviors that were unhealthy and stressful. Getting in touch with, i.e. knowing what our expectations of ourselves and others are, is very important on this journey and in life. Expectations are rigid, unforgiving, and not a wise choice. Hope is a better choice...I urge people to know themselves well enough to know (1) that they have expectations and (2) what they are. I did know but did not, early on, take the next step...i.e. change them...they can be changed with work. As a therapist I suggest to clients (and to myself) a triple AAA approach to life. Awareness, Acceptance and Adjustment. The adjustment (change) can ONLY follow after we have the awareness and acceptance of who we are and what we believe, value, expect. End of sermon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 2, 2013 Report Share Posted July 2, 2013 "If you were to look at people’s brains before they began a meditation practice, you would likely see strong neural connections within the Me Center and between the Me Center and the bodily sensation/fear centers of the brain. This means that whenever you feel anxious, scared or have a sensation in your body (e.g., a tingling, pain, itching, whatever), you are far more likely to assume that there is a problem (related to you or your safety)." I give up - the quote is from Psychology Today - How meditations can change your brain! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 2, 2013 Report Share Posted July 2, 2013 I tried to post the link for the quote above and it did not work! Here it is: The link is suppose to be here BUT... sometimes things just have a way of vanishing in midair! I think I'll just go do some therapy art I've started with my priemium artist colored pencils and my new flower and nature coloring books. A new hobby to relax me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 2, 2013 Report Share Posted July 2, 2013 Anne, my dear, this one's for you: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 2, 2013 Report Share Posted July 2, 2013 It doesn't take much to bring tears to our eyes when we see something beautiful. Thank you so much for the flashdance, Marty. Most all things I love - Tchaikovsky, violin, dance, a smiling child, and music , oh music. ♫♪♬ ♫♪♬ ♫♪♬ A new 'hobby' I have taken up - it's called Therapy in Color - the ultimate therapeudic experience for adults. A friend introduced me to it and I think I'll like it - I so do not have any artistic ability with paints so I thought maybe colored pencil would work. We cannot grieve 24/7 so perhaps this is a way to find relief - with all life's challenges we face it just might be the way to deal with turmoil and anxiety that accompany grieving. All I have to do is pick a color and draw within the lines. I think it will be a way to disconnect temporarily from everyday hustle and bustle and escape to a world filled with creativity, inspiration and serenity. You can listen to music at the same time. "Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're to help you discover who you are." Bernice Johnson Reagon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 2, 2013 Report Share Posted July 2, 2013 Another option, dear Anne, is to use watercolor pencils. You use them just like regular colored pencils, but later you can apply water with a brush, a whole new way of painting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 2, 2013 Report Share Posted July 2, 2013 Thank you, Kay, I can hardly wait to TRY that. I'm finding it very relaxing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 2, 2013 Report Share Posted July 2, 2013 I am by no means a watercolor artist but it has helped even my projects look better! Glad you're enjoying it. I know Stampin Up sells some watercolor pencils but probably any arts/craft stores do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 3, 2013 Report Share Posted July 3, 2013 I do have what are called artist colored pencils, Kay, but i do not think the watercolor ones you talk about are the same thing. I am finding another artistic side of me - I have always loved music - played the violin in orchestra for three years; I took dance most of my young life - tap, ballet, pointe; i could never draw so I thought coloring would be a fun thing to spend some time doing. I always liked to color with my Jackie - this is more adult. I really liked the concept of coloring for adults. Focuses on very fine detail...something that takes some concentration. We'll see. it's relaxing and enjoyable - if I become real serious about it I'll have to invest in more colors - I only have 48 now! My interest is peeked about the watercolor pencils. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2013 Anne, if you choose to use watercolor pencils for your coloring work, make sure your paper can handle the water. If your paper is thin it will curl or ripple. Watercolor paper is pretty substantial...and expensive. My friend paid $60 for 3 sheets yesterday (22x30). That is top of the line. I get one step down but still pay about $10-15 a sheet. If you need help with the choice of paper should you want to use wc, let me know. And if you want to paint something on watercolor paper, there is something called transfer paper that assists you in drawing a picture onto watercolor paper and so you can paint it. Just whistle if you want some input. Artist colored pencils are not same as watercolor pencils. They look the same but instead of the lead use in artists' coloring pencils, there is watercolor and after you put that down, you use a brush with water on it to transform it. There is also an item that can be used with the pencils, it has a tip on it and one fills the pencil like item with water and gently squeezes and that turns the watercolor from the watercolor pencils into paint. It sounds like you are having relaxing fun and that is what matters. And the watercolors can get messy until you know how to use them unlike your artist pencils. Enjoy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 3, 2013 Report Share Posted July 3, 2013 Oh Mary, I am just a novice in using the colored pencils. I do not think that I shall be attempting the watercolor pencils for a long time - if ever! I do like the books I have and I like the artist colored pencils. They are waxier than regular colored pencils and I like that. It is a way for me to relax and enjoy using all the different colors. Thank you for explaining the difference. I suppose this could fit under the thread 'meditation' - being in the moment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2013 Anne, watercolors are tricky...the most difficult of mediums I am told. I have used a bit of oil and open acrylics and find WC the most challenging but the most fluid which also makes it so difficult but rewarding. Tomorrow my friend, Barbara, is coming over. She is a great watercolorist. We will paint and she is going to see if she can help me get kickstarted a bit. I started painting 3 years ago and if I compressed the time I have been painting...it would be about a month. I am paralyzed but I WILL get there...slowly. I agree...you are enjoying the process you are doing and that is what matters...it is the process, the journey...not the end product...if I have learned nothing else I have learned that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 3, 2013 Report Share Posted July 3, 2013 I have a brush that is kind of like a pen in that it is filled with water but has a brush on the end, and I use it for blending the watercolor pencil drawing I have done. I got it from Stampin Up too. You create your picture much like the one you did (which is very nice BTW!) but it gently blends the lines left by the pencils to form a picture that looks like it's been painted. I just buy a watercolor pad from Michael's or any art store, it wasn't too expensive. I suppose if I got into doing large ones I'd have to pay what Mary is referring to, but I prefer to do smaller ones so I don't get overwhelmed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 3, 2013 Report Share Posted July 3, 2013 Here's a gift to all of us from Anne: If you’ve ever wanted to make a greater impact and empowering influence in your world, I hope you’ll enjoy today’s movie as a gentle reminder about the one thing that can transform any situation in literally 30 seconds or less: compassion. What a little third grader says to his teacher at Christmas time instantly bypasses the head and goes straight to the heart of any issue, no matter what. You can re-energize your personal relationships and workplace culture – and inspire greater loyalty – by remembering to put into practice the message of this classic, time honored story. http://youtu.be/4RDncxuhQsg [source: Life Secrets Blog] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2013 This is such a powerful and moving video. I wept as I watched it. I do understand how one person can make such a huge difference. I have been gifted that way...i.e. with people who have made a difference in my life. I have had former clients and students tell me how I impacted their lives over the years but in reality it was I who was blessed by their presence. Special souls have made a gigantic difference in my life. We never know the impact we have on someone. One person who made an impact on my life that I never forget is a 14 year old boy (the nephew of a close friend who was in the convent with me and who is also gone now). Danny looked to me to be his "outside the family" contact as he battled leukemia. He would confide in me and share what he would not tell his family...for fear of hurting their feelings. Some of it I was able to help him share. Some he never shared with them. This was in early 70s and went on for four years. He taught me so very much about living and dying and gave me the gift of dying in my arms as his entire family stood by in his bedroom. I loved him like he was my own son and will never forget how he changed my life and touched my soul by how real he was...a Velveteen Rabbit for sure as leukemia and treatment took his hair, weight and muscles. I have clients who thank me for helping them, saving their lives sometimes but frankly, they are the ones who taught me, transformed me in so many ways. By our students we are taught. Thanks, Marty for posting Anne's gift and thank you, Anne for this gift. A reminder.... Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted July 3, 2013 Report Share Posted July 3, 2013 Oh, Mary, What a beautiful sharing about Danny. I am touched by your gratitude and acceptance. You are a true wealth of wisdom and compassion for us all. Thank you. Fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 3, 2013 Report Share Posted July 3, 2013 I feel a need to say this here, in a very public way, dear Mary: You are a very special lady. Not only with your student (for whom clearly you were a mother surrogate) and with your clients (for whom you are an experienced grief guide as well as a wounded healer), but in your dedicated and compassionate presence on this site, you validate all of us, you make us feel felt, and you mean the world to me ~ and to all of us. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2013 Whew! Marty! fae! I feel so so so undeserving of your words and thoughts. I truly am humbled and in tears as I read them. They leave me breathless. I thank you. People here mean so very much to me. I have no words for how real and genuine everyone is and how compassionate and if you read the post I just made in response to fae's explanantion of Heisenberg...quantum mechanics, etc. you will see that expressed in a different way. Marty...it is your energy and love and dedication that created the loving atmosphere here. You know you mean the world to me also and that you are one of those who has made such a gigantic difference in my life. I thank you for your public statement of who you see me to be and how you feel. I pass it right back to you. You are, indeed, a gift in my life. And so is this group of caring people. Not to negate your gifts to me, but I do get far far far more than I give at this site...truly. Peace to your hearts... Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 4, 2013 Report Share Posted July 4, 2013 First of all, thank you, Marty for posting the video. When I received it in my e-mail today I posted it on FB and on my pinning site because it is one that has always meant something to me. You don’t teach for forty years and not have someone touch your heart in the way this teacher did. I could tell story after story but as Mary shared one with you, there is always one who stands out. My story is one that happened not too long ago. There is a set of twins whose mother decided to give them away because they were interfering with her drug addiction! They became wards of the state. Passed from one home to another never really belonging to anyone for a number of years. They came to the middle school I was teaching at broken and confused and unable to concentrate on school matters. They would come into the media center day after day always sitting alone. I started to talk to them and after several months developed their trust enough for them to open up. The story would take a book but the point of my telling you this is that we never know the effects our compassion will have on another person. These girls spent three years with me never missing a day to stop in to say hello and talk. When they graduated both girls came to me and thanked me for listening and being a ‘grandma’ they never had. Today they are both young women doing well and they never forget to send me a Christmas card keeping me updated on how they are doing. I agree with Mary about this site. It is our sanctuary where we come to receive the love and support we need and hopefully later be able to return that love and concern for everyone here. My time spent on this site always brings tears to my eyes, laughter sometimes, and deep compassion for everyone here. The outpouring of love is beyond words. Thank you seems so shallow but it comes from the deepest recesses of my heart. I just love everyone who comes here. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 4, 2013 Report Share Posted July 4, 2013 Anne, my dear, I don't doubt for a moment that you have influenced countless others in a positive direction over the course of your life, just as you have done in your beautiful presence here. We are so blessed to have you here with us, along with all the other precious members of our "tribe." This is, indeed, a very special place, and it's all because of the love and compassion that you all continue to bring to it. I am honored to be here with you. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 4, 2013 Report Share Posted July 4, 2013 My thought (meditation) for tonight - but don't drink the coffee until morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 4, 2013 From Clarissa Pinkola Estes...one of my favorite authors. On Creativity which is meditation.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 6, 2013 This piece is so important to everyone but as we grieve, I think it matters even more. This is not a long piece and worth a few moments of your time. I do understand that in so many ways we are not looking for happiness at this time in our journeys...we are looking for acceptance and peace and just time to be where we are and grieve our losses, find ourselves, get our brains and hearts around what has happened. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nancy-colier/prescription-for-happines_b_3499113.html We are urged by our culture to "move on" "to do our grief work" "to get happy again" "to do, to do, to do"...but this author suggests: "Happiness happens when we live without a future, and without an intention for what this moment and this life should become. Happiness happens when we move from becoming to being.How utterly radical, to live without an intention... and how utterly freeing. But be prepared, the mind will scream when "What do I do?" is dropped as your mantra... "But my life will never be good if I don't do something to make it happen!" Nonetheless, take a chance, be courageous, give it a whirl and see what you discover. You can always return to your intentions and agendas for this moment, this life. In truth, life does happen when you stop doing something with it and to it. Indeed, when you live without an intention, life gets better than good. When you stop asking, "What do I do?" and start asking, "What's here, now?", the presence you are after, the place of no effort, it's all here. As it turns out, you didn't need to do anything at all." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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