What Next!

[KarenK]

At my age, I really know better than to ask that question. Life itself is frustrating without all the small disasters, as we all know.

My efforts been delayed at every step I have taken to save my home. Having faith in people is way overrated. After waiting 3 months for the original application to be reviewed, I found that the case worker had moved on leaving my application in the lurch. After the organization finally found that my paperwork had been moved to another organization, I was told that I wouldn't qualify anyway. At their suggestion, I contacted my mortgage company who sent me another application. I provided all documents once again. They were not happy with my SS Benefit letter as it showed a portion of Ron's SS which is what a widow receives. So I contacted SS and got a better defined letter. A couple of days ago, I got a letter from IRS stating that my request for tax return transcripts could not be fulfilled. Called IRS and they are sending me the transcripts. All of this adds more time to the processing of my loan application. Small, inconvenient details I know, but stressful nonetheless.

Today has started off no better. It is fortunate that I could only sleep for 3 hours. Got up at 2:30 AM and at 5:00 decided to fix a frozen biscuit. When I opened my big freezer, EVERYTHING was thawed out. I had opened it 12 hours before and all was fine. It shuts automatically so I don't think the door had been left open and the freezer is running, but sitting at 40 degrees. I moved everything to my fridge freezer and the only loss is the new frozen biscuits I placed in it 12 hours ago.  They will become a big bag of dough from previous experience. Am waiting to see if the door really was open or if the freezer has died before calling repair.  After all, it is at least 30 years old.

Of course, none of this is devastating as are the circumstances that brought us together, but just another "straw" to be carried.

Peace.

[Margm]

Yes Karen, it is all devastating.  Any problem at this time in our life is devastating.  I am a crazy woman, I get in my truck (which is the only time I am alone) and I ask Billy what to do.  I know if he answered me, I would wreck the truck.  Kay seems very capable, she seems like someone that knows what to do, but know she has her moments.  My neighbor sister widow, I know how much money  she gets each month. (She helped me after Billy passed, her job was accounting at a bank.)  Her house is huge, three levels.  At one time they were comforting.  They still are comforting, but reality has hit her in the face.  She has two grown children who live here and relatives everywhere.  Her husband was in construction and she knows who to hire to come fix things.  But, money is halved.  My mom used to quote to me word by word a poem called "The House With Nobody in it."  As a child, I cried for that house. (You can google the title and it will come up.)  My dad used to sing Jimmie Rogers' songs to me.  They were lonesome, yodeling, poor people songs, borne out of the depression era.  I would cry.  Sometimes I would cry myself to sleep at night thinking about the poor man riding the boxcars.  "Nobody seems to want me, or to lend me a helping hand, 1000 miles away from home, just sleeping in the rain."  My house and land are worth so much more than I will "get rid" of it for.  My neighbor's beautiful house takes fixing all the time.  Squirrels even eating on the wood.  I hear her middle aged son shooting squirrels.  I am sure, somewhere down the line in my lineage, there were gypsies.  I know you cannot tell it by my red hair, fair skin, blue eyes and freckles. But, I am not Native American either.  I sure wanted to be.  I would have had to be kidnapped in infancy to be from their lineage.  A big disappointment to me.  My great grandmother's pictures look like pure Cherokee to me.  Unfortunately, they were pure Irish.  Don't mind being a mixed breed person.  I just wanted to be part of the landscape before my people took it away from the people who lived here first.  

That is why, at my age, and my conditions (illnesses), I choose to rent an apartment with sparse furniture.  I will be comfortable.  Billy's things will move with me.  What to do with all his fishing equipment?  My daughter sent me a picture of a fly rod and reel bent to hold pictures hung through the line holders, and two giant bobbers on the end.  I am not crafty, but I can do this, and the others in the family can have his other rods and reels.  None of us have the heart to go fishing yet, that was his "thing," and being out on the river or bayou is too painful right now, for any of us.  We don't even watch his fishing shows.

When the TV series on AMC of the Union Pacific Railroad building went on hiatus, and I think it comes back soon, Billy was not sick.  (Well, he was, but we did not know it.)  He hated so bad waiting till spring for it to come on again.  It ended, like they all do, in a cliffhanger.  I do not care to watch it.  I am angry at a lot of things.  But, his favorite author C.J. Box, I will continue to buy his new books.  I ordered them as they came out on Kindle.  If he was me and I was him, then maybe he will enjoy them.  I know he did not believe in supernatural things and my mind was wide open to ghosts, magic, mystical, runaway imagination things.  When he left, he took that part of me with him.

And some of these "straws," they can be very heavy and can and do "break the camel's back."

[KarenK]

Oh Marg,

My heart goes out to you as I read the loneliness in your words. I so wish we lived closer so I could give you a hug. Somehow, I have grown accustomed to my loneliness. It no longer haunts me as much as it used to. I have grown to accept that this is my life.

Ron was Cherokee/Irish and proud of his heritage. His siblings seemed to shun it. I have a special affinity for the Native American people, especially the Hopi. I have many items crafted by them. I am Dutch, French, and English, just a Heinz 57, I guess.

I thank you for bringing C.J. Box to my literary world. I have now read several and have 4 more I picked up at the library yesterday. I think Billy and I would have been friends as I know you and I are. Ron liked the fishing shows . "Jimmy Houston?" comes to mind. I have not been fishing either since he left.

We will carry those "straws" together.

[kayc]

Karen, sounds like me, I'm English, Irish, Scotch, Dutch, French, and German, or so my parents said.  My George was native American, a tribe the gov't did not recognize.  How do you just not recognize a tribe?  It's like pretending they don't exist!  They do, they lived here before the gov't stole their land!  I, too, love the Native American people and feel we have a lot to learn from them.  

Karen, your day sounds just awful and it's still morning!  It sounds like my life.  It's a struggle sometimes, isn't it!  Yet you're doing what you can and that's all any of us can do.

I got the news that my dog has severe Colitis and will have to be on bland diet the rest of his life.  The dogfood they want me to buy for him costs over $200/month!  I will be making his food from scratch for the rest of his life as no way can I afford that, but he is my baby and we do what we can for them.  Right now he's in his dog house not feeling well and refusing his morning walk.

 

[MartyT]

Oh Kay!  I'm so sorry!

Feel better, Arlie ~ and know how much you are loved.

(I think Arlie has the best mom in the world.) ♥  

[Gin]

Kay,.  Good luck to your very lucky dog(to have as his mom).  I am thinking of getting a dog.  I wanted one before Al died.  Al did not because Al was completely blind the last year and was afraid of tripping over a dog and falling.  

[Margm]

@Kay: I'm sorry for your pup.  I remember Billy buying dog food for his many dogs.  He would look for the first ingredients and if it was corn, he would not buy it.  I think corn has a terrible reaction to pets.  Not just pets.  Can you imagine withholding cornbread from a southerner.  I can no longer have peas, beans, corn, peppers, onions, or cornbread.  I used to read the blog of RVSue and her crew (pups).  At one time she was feeding them nothing but raw meat from the market.  When Billy left, there was no more RVing, so I quit reading her blog.  Traveling with two dogs fulltime in a small trailer, she had to feed them things that kept them on a regular schedule of stops and starts.  I feel for your pup, I too have colitis/ruptured colon, and it is no fun.  I cannot complain, at least about my diet.  I can find lots of other stuff to complain about..........and do.

[brat#2]

Karen, so sorry you are having to go through all this on top of everything else.  It does seem so much more difficult without our partner to go through stuff like that.  Hoping you can get it all taken care of quickly.

 

Kay - so sorry to hear about your dog and hope he feels better soon, which I'm sure he will with you taking care of him.

[KarenK]

Oh Kay,

I am so sorry about Arlie. I had been wondering what you found out at the vet. Funny how our fur babies can suffer some of the same maladies as humans. Be sure and check the internet for coupons that may help with the dog food or the ingredients.

My freezer has bit the dust. It needs a new evaporator and condenser. It is doubtful the evaporator can be found as it is 30 years old. The one saving grace in any of my major appliance repairs is the Sears home maintenance agreement I have had  with them for 40 years. It is pricey at $849 a year, but has overall saved me money. There is never any extra charge for anything and the product is replaced. if not fixable. I will also be compensated for any food loss. If I am able to keep my home, it is definitely worth renewing.

[MartyT]

I didn't mean to brush over your trials and tribulations, dear Karen. You have had far more than your fair share, and I feel for you, too  ♥

 

[kayc]

Karen, will they bring you a new freezer then?  I got mine from Sears, only paid $346 for it and it paid for itself in what I saved in electricity over my old one!  It's smaller and a chest, not as convenient as my big upright was, but it's just me now, I don't need such a big one.

[Margm]

Karen, sometimes I don't see anyone's problems but my own.  And, we all, all of us on here have problems.  Sometimes it seems like when Billy left he took a part of me that loves anything and everything.  And we all have lost that part of ourselves.  I have a lot of learning to do.  I have to quit being so selfish.  I think sometimes that is why I love to hide from the world.  Remember, I am the one who wants to run to the middle of Texas in some motel and park my truck behind the motel or "people will find me."  Yes, I am lonely, but so are we all.  My heart is with you my friend.  

[Guest]

I'm thinking of getting rid of my freezer. Just cooking for myself and trying to eat fresh foods it is starting to lose its usefulness. Also starting to question my cable. Very few broadcast programs interest me and those that do I can stream. 

[iPraiseHim]

We have not had cable or satellite TV since 2000.  I have Netflix and what everything via the internet.  I found VidAngel when you can watch Movies for $1 plus you can filter out the vulgarity, blasphemy, and nudity.  I still have my freezer for the frozen vegetables.  I haven't transitioned completely off of all the bad foods yet.  I am doing it one day and one meal at a time.  Shalom.

[kayc]

I wish I could stream but alas there is no cable internet here, only slow speed satellite and it's very limited.

[kevin]

KayC is right on the mark....used freezers $200 ...new ones$400      Sears is good...

[KarenK]

Kay,

If they cannot locate replacement parts within 2 weeks, I will receive an authorization for a new one. This is a top of the line 20 cubic ft. upright. We remodeled 30 years ago and Ron insisted on buying the best of everything. When he was here, the freezer was kept pretty full. He bought in quantity, I think because he was raised in poverty and never wanted us to go hungry in the lean years, bless his heart. I can not afford to buy in quantity, but try to buy extra meat and items when they are on sale. Remember also, that my grandson lives here, so nothing ever goes to waste.

The main reason I spend the money on the Sears contract is to cover the refrigeration unit. It is very expensive to replace those here in Arizona and you definitely cannot live without one. Over the years, they have replaced washers, dishwashers, microwaves, tvs, vacuums, lawnmowers, furnaces, etc. with no hassle. Perhaps not to the overall tune of the cost of the contract, but it is a peace of mind thing. One funny thing is that the replacement product even at it's elevated price from 30 years ago, is never the quality of the original one. That is just a sign of the times. Now I'm beginning to sound like my mother. She could never understand why a car didn't last "forever".  LOL

[kayc]

I'm with your mother, if you figure that one out, let me know!  Haha

Well I hope you don't have a long wait.  I've heard those extended warranties cost more than they're worth in the long run so quit having them over 30 years ago, good thing too!  My refrigerator lasted 34 years, my microwave 22 years, my freezer about 60 years...can't hardly get that length of time any more!

[KarenK]

So far(knock on wood), my GE dryer has been running for 48 years. Had it repaired once, I think.

Oh, and yes to the delivery question and they will take away the old one.

Brad, I only watch about 3 channels so may think about getting rid of the cable. I know my son can set it up for them to come from the computer to the TV. I may be locked into the Cox contract though. I still need my Internet, so will check it out.

[kayc]

My dryer has been running 38 years and has only been worked on once, nine years ago.  My washer only lasted 21 years though an I've had this one 18 years, although both were worked on a few times.  There's not much to dryers, so it's possible your dryer will last as long as you do!  The more high tech things become, the more that can (and does) go wrong.

[Gwenivere]

Thats the truth!  I bought ones with dials so they look familiar, don't like touchpads.  But they are just an illusion as everything is a computer inside.  I've had my washer, which is relatively new, do odd things and now know to unplug it for a minute or two.  It's like a reboot.  Has saved me from calling for repair so far (knock on wood).

[kayc]

You mean they make them without dials now??