Clematis Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 10 hours ago, KarenK said: She said to keep watering it, DUH! She would check back in 2 weeks. NEWS FLASH! THE GRASS ISN'T GOING TO GROW IN THIS HEAT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WATER. And that weedeating the sidewalk was not enough, that I needed to dig the grass out. MY SON CAME UNGLUED! He called her back and said we would water until the grass was 6 feet high, but were not going to dig the grass out of the sidewalk joists. That should be the problem of those that created the sidewalk. I'm not sure why I'm on their radar, but fight them every year over this. Seriously thought about pouring gasoline on it and burning it out, but need a burn permit. I SO HATE LIVING HERE! Can you tell I'm upset? I don't need this hassle. Karen - are these people psychotic? I'm serious...everyone knows that grass in the PHX valley is an oxymoron, unless you are are talking about the greens on a golf course where people are pouring so much water on it that it's immoral to waste that much water when the rest of the state is fighting for little bits of water. I'm sure you know that geologically speaking AZ is like a bowl with the PHX area at the bottom, so all the water drains downhill into it. There have been battles about this for literally millennia - the water that flows down there and what they do with it. Personally, I think everyone who is willing should be GIVEN gravel and barrier cloth and whatever it takes to get rid of the grass permanently. They should also be given an award for being willing to save that much water. Of course I may have become a bit biased by living in the uphill parts of the state for 37 years. Anyway, I totally agree with you - what they are doing is not just ridiculous - but also reprehensible. You should be rewarded for allowing the grass to die. Only my opinion, of course... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 7 hours ago, kayc said: The laundry can get rank and mildew if left wet too long, can you take it to a laundromat to dry it? I've seen it ruin the towels if left wet, the mildew doesn't just smell, it stains them with black dots. Wow...mildew! That is terrible!!! I haven't seen that in so long I can't even remember it very well. I used to live in Tucson and had no drier. The first thing I did upon moving was install clotheslines in the back carport (there were two carports). In the summer I could do load after load of laundry, and hang up one set while the next one washed. By the time the next washer load was done the ones on the line were dry so I could fold them & hang up the next load. If it was raining, it took a little longer, but under the carport the clothes would still dry hanging under the shelter, even though it was pouring rain six feet away. Living in the desert has its downside for sure, but that was convenient. In Sedona I can't have a clothesline and so I hang everything to dry in the bathtub/shower except towels. Anyway, you guys definitely have my sympathy, having trouble drying clothes. That sounds dreadful... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 29 minutes ago, Marg M said: Well, I will be 74 on August 13th. I am now a 73-year-old orphan and widow. . It is a sad thing to be an orphan, no matter how old you are. I am also an orphan... That is sad about your sister - that must have been hard for her, and for you as well. It seems like those old family things and early dynamics should lose their punch after some amount of time and just not have much impact, but it doesn't seem to actually work like that at all... It's weird how early family stuff comes up when people die in your family. I had not much of an idea of this when my dad died, but things can sure get to be a mess. Or the old mess is revealed. Again. Anyway, you have my thoughts and care... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerriL Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Marg, I am deeply sorry---I really am, not just words---for your loss. I was orphaned by 44 years of age, with my parents' deaths coming only four years apart. 13 years after my dad's death, I'm a widow at 57. So, I do understand. There are very few people who are 100% good or 100% horrible. We all have our faults, we all carry and deal with the baggage that life has shoved upon us along the way. Now, it's time for you to turn the focus on yourself and rest as much as you need to. You have endured multiple hits in a short time frame and you need to treat it the same way as if you'd been in an accident. I send love and prayers your way. WW is always on your side. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerriL Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Kay, I am very lucky that hanging the towels up seems to have done the trick. They dried and I sniffed them---everyone comes to know mildew here in tropical Florida---and so far, no rank smell or physical indications of those creepy little spores. Sometime today, the repair guy will be here and you'd think I was going on a date, I'm anticipating his arrival so excitedly. (The ONLY guy who could get me excited at this point!) lol I'm praying that the dryer can be easily repaired and I can get back to doing my laundry. When you're without your love and lonely, laundry can be a highlight of the day. But, seriously, my laundry is a big thing for me because sitting too long in a laundry basket can also lead to mildew and yucky odors. Who needs that? George, that was excellent information. I may rtes the salt and water for the weeds, since it's a non-toxic alternative. I try to protect wildlife and even myself when it comes to using any substances. I use a lot of vinegar and water to clean/disinfect and 7th Generation products for things like washing dishes and---again---laundry. I can't operate a regular mower---I'd be worried about injuring my joints if I attempted to pull the rope crank to start it and I really don't want o deal with gas or oil and all that stuff. I had wanted to purchase an inexpensive reel mower to do the grass myself, but everyone kept telling me they were so hard to push and I shouldn't try it in this heat and so forth. I have no clue and have no one close by to give me real guidance. I brought up the prospect of the reel mower to my brother in law, but he gave me a resounding NO. The problem is that I could never fully trust him. He was always trying to make me feel helpless or incapable so he could take over. So, whether what he said was truly in my best interest or just him attempting to push his own agenda on me is anyone's guess. I had to go out in the heat yesterday and tim some bushes back on the side of my house so the repairman can get through today. I also scrubbed the sidewalks off with a long-handled scrub brush and soap and water because there was some mold growing from all the rain we've been having. It posed a slip hazard for when i walk down there in my flip flops. Yes, my hands and arms were sore and still are this morning (but I'm also not used to doing that--anyone could be sore under those circumstances) and yes, I was sweating quite a bit out in this heat, but I DID it. It got done and I'm still here to tell about it. lol 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerriL Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Repair guy called and on the way. Wish me luck! We were just discussing this topic and this was in today's paper: Dear Miss Manners: When I am with a friend or acquaintance and learn of the passing of a close family member or friend to that person, I am unsure how to respond. I believe that saying “I’m sorry” in any form is wrong. Even “I’m sorry to hear of your loss,” or phrases of that nature seem to strike the wrong chord. Yet I want very much to express my sympathy in a familiar, nonformal, heartfelt way. Am I wrong? Gentle reader: The desire to be familiar, nonformal and heartfelt in expressing condolences is one Miss Manners has heard before. Being “heartfelt” is a matter of tone and bearing more than of words. Why you wish to be informal, Miss Manners cannot fathom. The reason there are a small number of well-worn phrases to express your sympathy in such cases is so that you will avoid the temptation, in an emotional moment, to chose one of the large number of unintentionally hurtful phrases (such as “It was for the best” ) that purport to comfort, but actually belittle the grief. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted August 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 9 hours ago, Marg M said: Well, I will be 74 on August 13th. I am now a 73-year-old orphan and widow. . You all have got to know I was saying this "tongue in cheek." Not many people are as lucky as I am and get to keep their mates and parents as long as I did. My family has a long history of the females living into their 90's. Sometimes living to that age is not a blessing though, because all had lost their husbands, and even though we joked that the "sisters" were so mean they outlived husbands that were glad to go, we all know that is not true. My SIL outlived four loves of her life with them all having heart attacks. She was teased about being too much of a woman for these men, but when you have lost a mate, you realize teasing is not something you do. The SIL spent time in a psych ward thinking she killed her mates. Life throws rocks at us sometimes, we just have to dodge them. If my mom had lived the last 11 years happy and mobile, even at 95, her death would be a calamity. She and my sister had/have a fighting spirit that I don't have. No one, when they are in their right mind, wants their adult children changing diapers for them when they get old. My mama is at peace now, and that is something she has not known for many years. Also, I believe my sister is at peace, or will be when we get all the financial snafu's taken care of. She has been a prisoner as much as my mom. I met the man last night who moved his daughter in the apartment by mine. He is from the small town up the road. The place where Mama's final resting place is. And, of course, he was a distant relative. Aren't they all? I am truly home. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerriL Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Even though it's tongue in cheek, it still has a ring of truth, Marg. I always called myself an orphan in a joking manner, but when you think of it, the longer we all live, the fewer people are left that remember us as kids. It can give you a feeling of being "lost". Even our husbands "knew us when". I was 23 when Paul and I became a couple and he knew me better than anyone on this planet, even my blood relatives. I'm at least glad that all of you, including your mom, can find some peace now. There is nothing peaceful about watching someone you love struggle. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerriL Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Oh, dryer repairman left. He unclogged the vent outside and it works now. However, he does not do the replacing of the plate with the flaps on it that attaches over the hole in my wall. Now, I must find a handyman. :::sigh::: We had to move two frightened iguanas out of the way to get to the vent, too. Welcome to South Florida. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Terri, you can probably by the plate with the flap at a hardware store and it'd just require nailing it up. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerriL Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Kay, The old plate was not nailed to the wall, it was glued with caulk against the wall. So, I'd have to drill holes into the outside wall and I'm not really handy with power tools. You know, we have a small, family owned and run hardware store that usually has more than the big box stores and far less expensive, too. They have the plates. I finally worked up the courage to get in the car myself and go pick one up. I figured I could caulk it to the wall as well as the other one was. I pulled out and got to the stop sign in front of my house and realized my right front tire on my car is flat. (I wondered why I felt like I was leaning to the right.) :::heavy sigh::: So, I pulled it slowly back into driveway and here I sit, waiting for AAA to come and change tire. It just never ends. Oh sure, my life with Paul ended. But not the stuff breaking down, the money to fix it, that goes on and on. The only positive thing I can say is that at least it happened while I was still home. However, it doesn't make me feel any safer about leaving home in the car. What if I hadn't been home? Like my anxiety needs this? (Beginning to think BIL practices voodoo or something. Whenever he throws one of his tantrums and is no longer helping me, all sorts of things begin falling apart, when I am alone with no one to ask for help.) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Terri, I think you and I are on the same road. If it weren't for bad luck I would have no luck at all. So far in the seven months since Gord's passing it seems like if it ain't broke its because something else just broke. I shake my head, maybe I should look for a lucky charm. In the life before, if things broke there were the two of us to deal with it. Now, there isn't even anyone we can talk about it with. No wonder it seems like there is so much crap! I hope the rest of this day goes without incident/accident for all of us. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Marg - I know I'm a little late to this, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I sure hope you can rest now, which you so much deserve. Being an orphan at any age, I was an orphan at 30 years old, is still hard and being a widow on top of that surely isn't easy. Like Terri said, it is hard when the number of people in your life that are left that knew you when you were a child is getting less and less, it gets very scary and lonely. You are in my thoughts and my heart goes out to you. Terri - I'm sorry you are having "broken" problems right now, but it really does seem that since Dale died, everything I touch needs repaired. It is so hard when it is just you to deal with it instead of the two of you like it used to be. Sending Hugs to all of us Joyce 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 AAA and the tire centers don't even come to where I live so I literally have to take the tire off or battery out and take it to the center to have it fixed, then bring it home and put it back on. At least you're where they come to! I know we all miss their help! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerriL Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 The AA man came out and just put air in the tire. He listened and said he couldn't hear anything coming back out so it could be that the intense heat we've been having, plus the fact that my car sits for long stretches of time, caused the flat. He said I should go as soon as possible to a tire place and let them have a look at it, just to make sure there isn't a hole in it. I called a male friend and he said if I wanted him to come along with me, he would. It won't be until tomorrow though because I got to the point of frustration where I sat myself down and had a good, long cry. I can't do laundry until I get that plate for over my vent, I still need to get some papers for the pension notarized and now my tire. I'm fighting to keep my anxiety from kicking in. I know I have conveniences that balance out the downside of being in a more congested area, It's one reason I chose to come back here from our house with five acres. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Terri - the AA man could be right, if I don't go anywhere for a long time, my tires will go down some too, not flat, but I've been told that when you drive every day that helps keeps the air up (especially here in Florida with the heat). Just take a deep breath and relax (I know, easier said than done) and I know that sounds trite, but when I find myself in these kind of problems, I have to keep telling myself that and it helps me. You will get it all done and if it's not until tomorrow that's ok too. It's not easy when you have to do this kind of stuff alone, but I know you will get it done! Joyce 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerriL Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Thank you, Joyce. You're right, I do need to keep telling myself to breathe, because I literally find myself holding my breath from time to time. That doesn't help any more than hyperventilating does. I notice I typed "AA man"! I meant the AAA man, although he could be a recovering alcoholic, we just never got into that. I gave the guy a ten dollar tip for his trouble and he was very courteous---he even asked if I wanted a bottled water, because I was sweating. I declined, but it was nice of him to ask. He also kept asking me about the car, like when the tires had been purchased because my flat tire looked brand new. I couldn't answer any of them, I kept telling him that my husband handled all that and he's gone now. I felt like one of those stereotypical "little housewives" that you used to see portrayed on 1950s and 1960s sitcoms. But, yes. Somehow, some way, I will get this all done and this, too, shall pass. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Hey, I didn't even notice that you put AA and not AAA, shows you how observant I am!!!! I find myself not breathing at times too, that why I have to tell myself, "just breathe". I know the tire shop I just went to, asked how old my tire was that I replaced and I couldn't tell him either. It does kind of make you feel inadequate and that you are vulnerable, but I'm not sure if in a year or so if I'm asked that again about the new tire I would know the answer....lol Joyce 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Ok, ladies, time to stop thinking there is something wrong with us because we don't know how old our tires are. That is why I keep receipts in the car. Not exactly priority info I keep in my brain. Plus, when buying a new one, who cares? As for going into rooms and forgetting why, been doing that for decades. Steve called those brain farts. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChinUp54 Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 We call it "sometimers." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 OK, that's what I did, Gwen, put the receipt in the glove box. Yes, I've had brain farts for years too, but not as bad as now though. I'm sure Dale is laughing at me all the time now when I do it! Joyce 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polly Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Marg, So sorry to hear about your mom. Sending you a big hug!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polly Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Terri, So sorry it's been 1 thing after another. I hate when that happens. Although I'm pretty good at fixing most things. I have really shocked my step-son in the past 9 months. He always tells me to call or text him if I need help with something. He does cut my grass for me. I have no clue how to use that lawnmower. that thing is huge. It's called the tank. LOL. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerriL Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Hi everyone, You know, I'm sure Paul kept th receipt from when he purchased my tires, he always documented and recorded everything so well. It's who I've been able to do at least some of the things around here, especially keeping up with anything financial. I don't now how many times I have looked heavenward and thanked Paul out loud for helping me with his meticulous records. In certain cases, all I've had to do is follow what he had done when he was alive and I'm able to accomplish it. One more way in which Paul was taking care of me and still is. I didn't tell you all the most embracing part of the encounter with the AAA guy. He was rolling up his air hose and I asked, "Um...before you leave, could you tell me exactly where my spare tire is?" lol Before he arrived, I was out there taking things out of my car, trying to see if the floor of the back hatchback area conceals the tire and I couldn't find a place to open it up. He said it was underneath the car, but that doesn't seem right to me. What if I was trying to change my own tire on the side of a road? You mean, I'd have to crawl under the car to get the tire? Seems like something opened inside the back of my car and the tire was stowed in the compartment. I haven't ever had to use a spare tire in the 15 years I've owned it, so I forgot it all. (Besides, Paul would have been the one to change it and then go buy me new tires.) I need to get my owner's manual out of that glove box and go over it again. I am missing Paul so much. I'm still so upset over the pool having to come down and now all this stuff is happening. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 3 hours ago, brat#2 said: Terri - the AAA man could be right, if I don't go anywhere for a long time, my tires will go down some too, not flat, but I've been told that when you drive every day that helps keeps the air up (especially here in Florida with the heat). I used to install and repair tires awhile back. The recommended tire pressures are when the tires are cold ( not drove on awhile). The only way to put air in the tires is a pneumatic hose or a can of compressed air. Tires will loose some pressure over time. I recommend you carry a tire gauge in the car and check them once a month (when you fill up with gas) to make sure you do not have a slow leak. The tire pressures will increase when you driving but for optimal traction, wear , and safety it is best to check your manual (or sticker on the Drivers door) for the correct pressure. - Shalom 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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