kayc

My suggestion would be to listen to what ANNETTE would tell you in response! I mean, really listen to her. I did this with my George (I knew what he'd say, we always understood each other) and it helped. Trust me, James, we all probably feel that way. Part of it is our culture, as we age...this generation doesn't revere any part of us, the times I guess. I don't even hear from my kids. Nothing, nada. Truly alone. I know you feel alone even though part of a household. Hang in there, all we can do.

Wondering how you're doing...it's been a hard year for me, losing carport and shop, but having a contractor come shore up my electrical/water tank & pipes room with freezer, that's what the well hooks to. Well was $5,000 and this will be about $1,000. Quoted $2500 for carport/shop/electrical rooms before Covid but before snow was gone and he could start the price of lumber went up nearly 8 times, and not having $20,000 laying around it was put on hold. Price never came down and meanwhile it all rotted. Trouble is all the crap stored in carport and the mice made a shambles of the shop, need to clean it out but busy cleaning out carport first. I hope your life is mundane compared to mine! I could use a little less bad news. Hoping we don't have fires/smoke this summer as we did the last three. I've evacuated three times and it's not fun, esp. with my feral cat left behind, he will not be trapped, he's very wild. But he loves us and us him. I left food behind and it was nearly gone when I returned, I suspect other critters (skunks, etc.) How are your mom and brother doing? Drop in and say hi now and then! Never found what became of Gwen, I searched and searched, even contacted police in her area.

Do you want to share your poem with us? It's up to you.

I can't wear contact lenses, I did when I was young but I have special problems that warrant I not. Hoping cataract surgery means I no longer need glasses, not that I mind them if they work.

So you have two different kinds to put in?

Do you have to apply drops during the night too? I'm a bit envious as I will need cataract surgery, don't know when yet but it makes me nervous as I have no one to help me or drive, I will need to try and find rides to the city (about 130 mile round trip). Good luck with it Kevin, one more time and you're done! Will you need glasses afterwards? I'm blind as a bat w/o glasses. Kind of with them too. We're getting a lot of rain this week, predicting snow Mon. night and Tues.! Wish I could share some.

Laura, I know what you mean, everything you state is what my friend has stated as she's gone through it. Sometimes you wonder if they're there to help you or finish you off, it's really rough. Wishing you the best in your continued healing.

A neighbor got the bike rack, also both cots by the garbage can!

I hope so...

I didn't but you're right.

I have literally worked my tail off this week, countless hours in the garage. I separated into three sections...to throw away now, to throw away bit by bit (only so much fit into the dumpster), to give away, and the rest (tons of pieces of scrap wood from my XH's time here). I got everything put into the dumpster and started moving my son's bullet casings (tons of boxes of them with rotten box bottoms) I also discovered a box of CDs of his, why hasn't he taken them home? I threw away a stereo that had wires that weren't complete, he'd ran it threw the wall to the carport, I just tossed it. I gave an antique scythe to my neighbor and offered him other antique tools and gas can. The gas can was so cute, very antique! All heavy duty metal. Threw away a ton of steel and aluminum rods that I've no idea what they were for or went to. If I'm not going to use it, it can go. I need to do the same with the shop only that'll be way harder. Throwing away two cots (brand new but chewed on by mice or something), and an ironing board I saved for my daughter fors 18+ years, whatever she's been using all this time she can continue to use, not keeping forever! Got my son's hemlock boards stacked on other side of carport, will put back after the electrical room is worked on. I feel good about what is done. The Mormon missionaries had a flat tire so were late and I had nearly everything done by the time they got there (with several smashed fingers/knuckles), they finished stacking the hemlock and threw the blower box (weighs like an engine) in the dumpster). They got a bike rack down from the dumpster which I put a free sign on out by the road. If no one takes it I'll throw it away, I haven't ridden a bike since my 40s! I used to get groceries with this on my bike when I was young. Paid $20 for it 50 years ago. Got my use out of it. I still have to clean my kids' closets out, it can wait until I'm ready, also my own as well as back cupboards. Sounds like your parents' house was more normal than mine. I have so much to get rid of! A ton of games from a lifetime ago, now there's no one to play with. Aww but that can wait for a white elephant party or can give to Goodwill when I go to town. I need to make a donation every trip. I have to go again in six days but may not donate when I have doctor's appts as I'll have a set amount of time, then get groceries and head home. I have an eye appt 5/1. Watch, the contractor will want to come that day. I get scammers call all the time, spoofed numbers, etc, I don't answer. My phone says Spam Risk.

I have hundreds but have in a pw protected spreadsheet and it is backed up to an external drive, so any computer I buy I can put them on there. I've done this for years but not until this year has google chrome not let me in to view what it had saved, yay windows. No, in fact I wrote on FB yesterday that if it snows, it's my fault because I just put the cables away that go to my snowblower! Then they predicted snow this week, LOL, but above us, not our elevation. Gorgeous picture, it looks heavenly! You are so right, things have changed today, they no longer revere the elderly and learn from us. The world has changed and not for the better. I have to protect myself from the news somewhat.

OMAD is very healthy! It means you fast 23 hours/day in which your body has time to heal and improve. I have tons of energy! I literally got most of the work done on the carport yesterday and had filled the dumpster by the time help arrived (they had a flat tire so were late), they got the blower box into the dumpster! Also got a bike rack down from the rafters and finished stacking my son's hemlock boards on the other side of the carport (I had it started). Neighbor came over and got the antique scythe which I'd gotten down and also some chains and tools I knew I wouldn't use. I have several smashed fingers and places on my hands which I cleaned up and put neosporin on. I did better than I thought I would! I have everything organized into sections...stuff to get rid of little by little, stuff to give away, and the rest which is mostly wood, can be burned little by little or thrown away little by little. Our new pastor bought the house Pastor Dennis and Cindy had rented! They are busy packing. So excited! I called Susie's parents and we shared for 1/2 hour, it'd been years, it was nice. Sounds like where I live! Wish your sister well, Marg and bless you for helping her! Sounds like we eat opposite, my diabetes could never handle it, I'd be dead already if I ate what you eat! My BS this morning was 82, so glad. I've been under tremendous stress and it's finally lifting a bit!

I'm exhausted, worked my tail off yesterday moving metal pipes from under patio to where they'll deliver the dumpster, also two cat scratchers, then I realized I had enough to fill it and we hadn't started on the area of the carport & electrical room that needs cleared out so they can work on it, so will put the cat scratchers back today, maybe I can put them on the next burn pile, will get Jack's opinion. Throwing away two new cots something chewed the foam out of, will send with garbagemen instead of dumpster. Having a time with my diabetes, don't know anyone who tries harder w/o the desired results, I'm feeling discouraged. Was ecstatic about our unanimous vote of our new pastor...which in turn raised my cortisol and hence my blood sugar. Working so hard yesterday raised my BS. Last week Iris gave me what she thought was a diet soda, 43 carbs!!! Drank 1/2, just got back into Ketosis and now this. I feel like giving up but can't this is my life. Need to make appt to see doctor, don't want to but will have to see him within two weeks, ugh. I'm eating OMAD, weight 102 with 10-15 lbs excess skin, that puts me at 87-92 w/o it. Size 2 jeans falling down, have nothing smaller. Hate to shop and can't buy w/o trying on, ugh. Anyway, this is my life, such as it is. Wish I could hear from my kids. I have a niece who is in a gay marriage, a gay couple down the street, married 27 years or so. They're nice. I don't judge. Can't understand because I'm not but don't judge them either.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My fiance of a year broke up with me when his mom was dying, we remained friends after she died but they don't normally resume relationship when taking a time apart due to grief. I don't want to project on you what I went through but in the Loss of Love section, I've seen a lot of these situations and none of them resumed, I've read them all over the years. I thought a couple did only to have them message me later that they did not. I don't want to give you false hope, but some grievers are unable to do a relationship at the same time as grieving, those seem to be the ones we hear about here. Otherwise, the person would have no need to be here. Here I Go Again