LadyCarrie

Actually, vets use them regularly, but with caution. OTC kinds may be different, but I'm not an authority on this. They're not usually monitored by the vet, so that would be a variable also. Vets at two locations told us that of all the anti-inflammatory meds, Metacam causes fewer problems. Stomach problems are most common for animals and people. Some can cause stokes. Celebrex is safest for people, according to Jerry's doctors. Mine prefers for me to take Celebrex, if I "must" take one, because it causes fewer strokes. Because of the price, I use naproxen instead. He's not happy with me, but I do what I must do. I try to take fewer. As I said, I'm no authority on this subject. Of course, you will want to follow your own vet's advice for Arlie, because he or she knows your big boy best.

I hadn't had my coffee. Metacam is also a liquid, and dosage is based on weight and given carefully. Less than prescribed can be used, but never more. Never put directly into their mouth; instead, put it into food. We use the liquid for Callie. Works well. I have one eye open. I'll go now and work on the other one.

Metacam is a pill. It is like Naproxen or Celebrex. Vets like to use it, and now it's being prescribed by physicians as well. Celebrex is the safest of the anti-inflammatory drugs, according to all of Jerry's doctors. Of course, it's not "on the formulary" (I'm beginning to think few things are). Carrie

Kay, I'm sorry Arlie is limping again. If it's arthritis, he can really hurt badly. He could even have arthritis in his toes. If he would stand in warm to hot water, even for a few minutes at a time, the moist heat will feel good. I have Beauregard and Callie stand in hot water almost every day, but they're little and easy to manage. If arthritis, Metacam is a good anti- inflammatory. Beauregard couldn't take it due to his stomach, but both Ashely and Callie took it. I give it to Callie every other day. It was given every day until we learned of her having kidney disease. It takes her kidneys longer to filter now, so the vet said to make the change. Regarding your diet, you are eating healthfully, so you're likely fine to plateau for a while. I think I remember you saying that you are eating kale. Amberly helped one of the doctors at the clinic give a seminar on eating healthfully a couple of weeks ago. He teaches to eat a lot of raw veggies and fruits, and suggests making them into smoothies. Kale is a prime ingredient. That girl is about to turn me green with purple streaks on kale. Eating her prescribed four turnips in a week, along with all these greens, was just a tad much (kill or cure?). Shalady, try to take care of yourself and not overdo. I'm glad the shots help, and sorry you still hurt when you overdo. I'm not really good at taking my own advice. Callie (Doxie) is feeling better due to her medicine, so she and I were running together through Jerry's shop, and having a grand time until I got a cramp in an upper abdominal muscle, and a powerful hurt in my right SI joint when I turned a corner too fast (I forgot momentarily that I'm old!). It was late in the day, so it was off to bed with a heating pad for me until morning. I sent Callie to her bed underneath her light for heat. I overdid, and I suspect she did also. She's pushing fifteen. Hugs to both, Carrie

Dear Anne, I am awake, and I am praying for you. I'm asking God to hold you gently, and meet your every need in the very best way for you. I care. Carrie ❤️

Dear one, I am truly sorry for your great loss. You have found a warm and caring place here on the forum. I'm glad you have found your way here, yet I'm sorry you have need to be here. There will be others here for you soon who are much more qualified than I to help you. My first husband committed suicide due to unrelenting pain. Although I remember the raw and raging pain you are feeling right now, there will be others here for you who are at or near where you are now. I am here due to anticipatory grief (unwell husband of almost 47 years), yet I care very much for those who are in the worst of the throes of grief. May God hold you gently and tenderly, and give you His powerful strength and comfort. Blessings and warm hugs, Carrie

Dear Shalady, My heart hurts for you. I'm so sorry for your loss of your Bob, and that you are hurting. I want so much to help, but can't. I can only tell you that I genuinely care. Zach is beautiful! Our Doxies, Callie and Beauregard, don't have one whit of self-discipline when it comes to food. That cake would not be so pretty for long. Warm hugs, Carrie

Dear Anne, I woke up thinking of you and wondering how you are. I prayed for you, and I promise you that I will continue to do so without fail. Jerry has begun praying with me for you as of a few weeks ago. He understands what you might be feeling more than I understand (he had fear combined with hope, trust, and peace; all can live in one place, so emotions take their turn, lap over each other, and combine). I understand only what it's like to go there with him. I care very much. MRI shows soft tissue, and X-rays show bones and joints. I'm sure your doctor either has or will order Xrays as well as MRI. Warm hugs, Carrie

Hi, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I don't have advice, but I just want you to know that I'm reading what you are writing, and that my heart hurts for you. I am a Christian also, and I will pray for you. Blessings, Carrie

Dear Butch, I can add nothing to what has already been said, but I want you to know that I continue to pray for you every day, and sometimes several times a day. I find that dish washing time is a good time to remember people. Blessings and hugs, Carrie

Hi, I am so sorry to learn of the serious issues regarding your grandma’s health. I’m sorry you and your loved ones are hurting so badly. Anne is right in saying that your love for her comes through in your writing. We have biological relatives, and we can have relatives of our heart. We get to choose the ones of our heart (these are particularly special). Your grandma is one of your heart. You said that your grandma is a devout Christian. I am a Christian also, and have a close relationship with Jesus Christ, as does your grandma. I understand her use of the word “relationship,” for that is just what it is – a close friendship. Because of this relationship, your grandma is indeed comforted by knowing that at the moment of her death, when she is absent from her body, she will be in Heaven with her Lord. Her spirit will be there waiting for her beloved husband. I tell you this in hope you can take comfort in knowing how she feels, and what she expects in her afterlife. I join Anne and Kay in telling you that it’s all right to cry. It has been said that tears are a type of praying also, especially when we have no words with which to express what we’re feeling in our heart. Take care of yourself and your grandfather. Your just being with him will be a great comfort to him. You are a good and caring granddaughter, and I’m sure they are proud of you. Carrie

Hi, There is no such thing as "just" a pet of any kind. God gave us these precious fur balls as gifts to love and to care for. I've had several treasured pets during my 70 years, and the loss of each one hurts badly. I've come to believe that there's no way to get around the guilt feelings when one of our fur babies dies. I'm judging on myself, of course. I wind up feeling guilty, but most often, remorse is a better word. When we do the very best we can by our pets, there is no real guilt to be had. You did well by your precious Norris. Thank you for telling us your story about him. You can write as many stories as you feel like sharing, for all of us here care. I used to have a little hamster named Blue Boy. He died of starvation while my family and I were on vacation. I had made arrangements for someone to take care of all of his needs, and to play with him, while we were away. He didn't. That death caused pain and justified anger (justified anger is the hardest to put aside). Carrie

Dear Anne, I hold you in my heart and in my prayers. You are indeed special and easy to love. Love and warm hugs, Carrie

Kay, What a fright! I was panting there right along with Anne. That scare was enough to cause you to need to take two BP tablets. I'm so glad your big boy likes his hotdogs, and that his mama knows him well. Would you believe I took a break from these books because I was getting frazzled due to a problem I'm having difficulty with? Anne, you had a regular little escape artist in your cute and sweet little Benji. Marty, you really suffered regarding your Muffin. I'm sorry that happened to you. The only experience I ever had that even came close to yours is when Amberly's cat D.G. escaped when she was a teenager, and was gone for several days. We did all the usual things to find him. We were thinking that he was so beautiful that someone had likely stolen him. Just as we were giving up hope, we learned that a lady had found him, and was about to take him to the pound that very day, because he was battered, bruised, and looked more than half dead (not beautiful enough for anyone to steal him, for sure). We took him to the vet, nursed him back to health, and he lived many more years. Callie was out after a delivery person left our front deck gate opened to the road. We didn't suffer the fear as you guys did, for we didn't know the little bugger had gone exploring until she was back home. She had crossed the street, and explored a tar weed (mountain misery) field, before a car had to stop in the middle of the street for her as she waddled back home. We didn't see that either. The driver delivered her to me, and said, "I believe this is yours." THAT is when we nearly went a little nutty. We knew she had taken a stroll through the tar weed (way over a Doxie'd head) only because she reeked of the strong scent. Both girls were total house babies, and the decks have baby fencing all around them, but all it took was someone deliberately fixing the gate so it would not automatically close for a near-disaster to happen. Kay, I'm so glad your Arlie is home. Now, if Axil would just come home. Carrie

QMary, I'm very sorry regarding your sister. I'm sorry for her, and for you. I, too, am losing a sister (bone and lung cancer). I know you hurt. Tomorrow, my sister will be 83. It will be her last birthday, and I will never see her again. Aneurysms are sneaky beasts. A brain aneurysm took the life of a friend of mine as she left her classroom after teaching all day. Another friend, who used to be head of a department at the hospital, barely copes with the help of his wife. If you've read some of my posts, you know that my husband Jerry nearly lost his life to a hepatic artery aneurysm, and still has two aneurysms in his spleen. I say these things to let you know that I understand somewhat, although I can't understand completely. Please know that I care, and that I join my prayers with the others here for your safety, and that all goes well for you today. Blessings, Carrie

Dear Jess, Getting ashes back is very heart-wrenching, but I felt comforted to have Ashely back with us. Feeling comforted surprised me a lot. I expected the opposite, so dreaded it. When Amberly brought her home to us, I put her beside our Catey Elizabeth on a bookcase in a little room off of our bedroom that we call Sonspot so we can see them. They're beside the doll who is the real Lady Carrie. My heart hurts for you tonight. ❤️ Jerry and Amberly's way of healing after we lost our little red Doxie, Catey Elizabeth, in 2000, was to get another one. At that time, I felt opposite, but not this time. I would love to have another baby, but we have serious health issues that prevent it. A concern of mine would be whether Callie and Beauregard would accept a new one. I really don't think they would, so we would wait. They will be fifteen soon, so they would have a difficult time. Dogs have different temperaments, so perhaps Chance wouldn't feel the hurt and jealousy our little critters would feel. Hugs and squeezes, Carrie

Dear Valerie, I cannot offer you words of wisdom, as so many here can, but please know that I care very much that you are hurting so deeply. My heart goes out to you, for I know of no crueler pain than that of the loss of your precious spouse. May God hold you tenderly; may He give you comfort; and may He enable you to do whatever you need to do for now--during these early days. You have come to the right place for care. Blessings and warm hugs,

Hugs and squeezes, Kay❤️. I worked on the books in the office today, so I am just now finding this. It's late (11:23 p.m.), so you won't see this until morning (I hope you are sleeping). Carrie

Spectacular sunset, Anne! Thank you. Carrie

Dear Friends, I thank each of you for "sitting" with me. Thank you for letting me know you won't go away. How special, and how much this means to me! I could wish for no more, except I wish I could open my front door to you, and say, "Welcome to our home. You all come on in. Let's have tea (or something chocolate)." I am here for you guys, and I will sit with you, hold you, and rock you any time you need me. I care about your joys and hurts. I pray for you every morning, and particularly for those who are going through particularly rough times. We are each other's safety net, for we are here for each other. I won't leave any of you either. We here are hanging tough, and are all right. The plum trees are pink with blooms, and there are small patches of orange crocus and purple hyacinths blooming. There is a small patch of violets in a side garden. Several mahonia bushes brighten the yard with happy yellow. These blooms help me fight feeling sad, so I count them among my many blessings. I was in a fit of depression one winter (during my mother's illness), so my gynecologist who had known me since I first married Jerry, and who trained at the same hospital in New Orleans as did my sister who is now so sick with cancer, told me to hang on, because I would feel better when the flowers came out again. I think of him when the flowers come back each spring, because he was right. He stuck close to me during the days of Jerry's 2002 heart surgery, and took me on his hospital rounds with him (days before strict HIPPA laws). He died before Jerry's 2013 surgeries. I lost a good, long-time friend. The doctor who shared my motel suite with me so I would have transportation in 2013, died of pancreatic cancer on 2 February 2014. He had been one of our very best friends for over twenty years. Another February loss. Blessings and hugs, Carrie

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❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you very much, Kay. We do absolutely share commonalities in grief regardless of the kind of relationship. Pain is pain, and grief is grief, and each of us here hurts. I would never compare people's grief and pain, because it can't be done, and no one should ever do that, for that is unthinkable. I thought I couldn't live after my mother died. I've lost nearly all of my near relatives, including my first husband. That one was (still is) shocking, and it hurt. My sister has lung and bone cancer. I'm anticipating grief in a few different ways at this time. I must stay strong, especially for now. I reserve the right to have my "nineteenth nervous breakdown," but with God's help, and that of a good psychiatrist (provided I have transportation; I don't expect to be able to go, except every six months). In truth, I'm relying heavily on my compassionate and caring friends here on this forum, including you. Hugs, Carrie

Dear Geri, I am SO sorry for your loss of your father. My heart goes out to you, your mother, and for all who love him. May God hold you tenderly, and give you comfort. Blessings and lots of warm hugs, Carrie

Kay, Poor little Arlie. I'm truly sorry about the tumor, and that's a bad place for it to be. Poor little guy. I know it's getting scary for you, because of his age. We used to have Great Danes (and one Doxie, of course, Heidi Hilda Hall), so I understand about big dogs and age. Arlie is your baby regardless of his size. Petuska used to try to sit in my lap (and wash my face from chin to eyeballs with one fast lick!), so I know they're just big fur babies. After we left the ranch, and moved to the mountains in 1980, we don't have the room the Great Danes require. We have only a pine house covered with shingles and rock on two sides and 2 lots now. We aren't fancy. The house sounds huge when I say it has five levels, but it's just an average size house with a multitude of stairs (giggle). We have enough room for us and the Doxies, but not for the big babies. They wouldn't be happy. I'm trying to not push my panic button regarding Callie, but we know we are losing her. Death comes slowly (vet said a few months to two years when he diagnosed Ashely). We may have Callie several more months (too short !!). Kidney disease is too unpredictable to compare her numbers to Ashely's. Callie was diagnosed ten days after Ashely died, and her numbers were higher than Ashely's already. Some can live with high numbers, and some can't. Ashely was little and frail all of her life, so could not live. We know that water (and diet) is the only treatment, and even the vet told us that they are miserable during treatment. They have to be attached to the wall of the cage, so they can't pull the IV out. Water helps sometimes for some dogs for a period of time (gets shorter and shorter). I let it happen to/for Ashely twice, and I regret it. I think it helped somewhat, but the vet didn't tell me until Ashely was about to die how miserable they are. She was always submissive and liked her vets before all of her painful and scary treatments. The opposite became true. She just couldn't stand any more needles, so we knew when to quit. Amberly and I were giving her water boluses at home. Ashely told us when. She begged to not have another needle stuck into her neck. We agreed that Ashly herself had just said that it was time to stop. In retrospect, I would have done things differently. I would not have put her through so many treatments. I would just hold her, and as Jess said regarding Callie, give her snuggles. Callie's new symptoms are throwing me backward. I'll be all right. I do thank you very much for caring, and for your tender, compassionate heart. Because I said so many things were wrong with Beauregard, I didn't mention that he's had a cyst on his right eyelid since he was quite young. Amberly asked the vet to do the "V" surgery, but the vet thought it best to not do the "complicated surgery." It became big a couple of years ago, so the vet lanced it, with good results. The little boy felt much relief. In October, when the vet was here to see Ashely, she lanced it again. Nothing came out, and it's hard, and growing. Amberly believes it's cancer, but there has been no biopsy. We really wish the vet had taken it long ago, but perhaps she knew best (??). Hugs, Carrie

Yes, thank you, Anne. It is indeed beautiful. It's one to go back to and read multiple times. Jerry and I were able to get a driver for about three hours on Valentine's Day, so he was able to fly his smaller drone. It was quite windy, so he couldn't allow it to go high. He wouldn't fly his Phantom, both due to wind conditions, and because we were near people riding horses on the trails. He wouldn't take a chance of spooking them. I thought of you, Anne, when we saw the beautiful horses. We saw a Great Blue Heron also. There were few wild flowers, only one meadow of tiny yellow flowers. It's a bit too early, and a lot too dry. Kay, thank you very much for your caring. It means a lot to me. I'm so sorry Jerry was feeling as he did on Valentine's Day, so it was a blessing for him to go "play drone" for a while. The temperature was in the mid-seventies, so we took deli sandwiches for a picnic. Perhaps your George would have thought and felt much like Jerry did. It surely would be understandable. Jerry's sharing his feelings gives us a glimpse from another perspective. I think I told you all before that I lost to 99 pounds after Jerry's first Valentine's season surgery (2002). I realized I was in trouble, because there was nothing wrong with me physically to cause the weight loss. My primary doctor was ready to shake me. He told me that I was going to die if I didn't get a grip soon and stop losing weight. Could I have gotten a grip, I would have. I went to see a psychiatrist in Modesto who Amberly knew well through the doctor's office where she worked. He told me I have PTSD (when I first heard the request for extra help for Jerry, I had been so paralyzed by fear that I couldn't move until Amberly hit me between my shoulders and said, "Move! That's Daddy they're talking about!" That's WHY I couldnt move!). I told the doctor that I would get over the PTSD, and he told me that it's not something people get over. Jerry and I both started seeing the psychiatrist together every six months. We saw him once after Jerry's second and third surgeries in 2013, but transportation became a problem. Jerry told me on this Valentine's Day that he wants to go see him again. Amberly told me yesterday that she will make the appointment, and schedule time off from work. The doctor told me that he cannot help me grieve, and that I would have to do the grieving on my own, but that he can help me learn to function. Define function, I thought (think). He lost his mother to death in Italy not long before this conversation. He's not a grief counselor; however, he grieved so hard that he had to take time off after his mother's death. He understands what losing a mother is like. He does not know what it's like to lose a spouse. He has talked with many grieving spouses though. That helps, I think. He told me that one of the most hurtful things for the one left is that there is no one with whom to share memories. He said that there is no one to say, "Remember when . . .?" to. That scared me, and still does. I gave this a lot of thought as I tried to prepare (I know I can't truly). During our next visit, I told him that there really is Someone who remembers, for He was with us while we made each and every memory, just as He was with us on the day we said our wedding vows. I know it's not the same as remembering with our spouse, but knowing there is Someone who remembers helps my feelings. We can still say, " Remember when . . . ?" and He will say, "I do remember." It's late, and I've begun "nattering" (I love that word, Fae). I hope I've made sense. Blessings and hugs to all, dear friends, Carrie