Marie Lee

Kat, thanks...you said it ..peace..love the light up a life description... Marie

Hi Brad, I am adrift as well...Kat, yes, that does seem like our experience...a new book and a ghostwriter...maybe the ghostwriter is my fave companion these days.. Ana, it's a sad reality we live isn't it? Its hard to convey to people how it impacts our everything and yet, we must not talk about it...

Cookie, I agree and can relate with your statement about still looking for home..since I Lost Kev, I feel the same. Gwen, I get it when you said you love everyone here but sometimes it makes you sad that other bear this weight...to me that shows a great deal of compassion.. Kay, I loved the analogy fine wine and bubbly soda :-) Marg and Marty...out of the mouth of babes, huh? The wisdom of children's viewpoints... I have no idea how to navigate on this untraveled passage, but I guess I will need to figure it out along the way. Not loving doing this journey solo.... Marie

I have learned not to speak much of Kev and my loss in social situations...it's a sad reality we live... I get that sometimes a somber subject is not appropriate..but it's odd that people ask how you are...but don't really want to know. I am fortunate to have some family and a few frds.. But I have lost some... I am just determining in my mind that my life is going into a new chapter with new experiences and people . Writing the new pages as I go..... Marie

Hi forever his... we are here for you and have lost in love as well. I am almost at the six month mark...and relive the event often..most especially the day of...and the time,etc. My children often tell me how glad they are that I am still here..and the grand babies are tremendous therapy. I miss Kev every day... Pls feel comfortable talking about anything here...everyone remains non judging and are very loving, supportive. Peace, Marie

Lisa, very sorry for your tragic loss :-/.. Your plate is very full...I hope you are able to find some help. Time and love seem to be the pathway and everyone has their own journey and timing. We are here ... Prayers, Marie

Thanks Marty...

How is everyone doing? I took a break from Internet for a few...wanted to check back with everyone. its still very odd not having Kev around to share life with...guess it will be for a long time.... Trying to savor my grand daughters love :-) below is a pic I took this morning of Eevie..

Marg/Patty..Good topic..... I wish us all luck in this area Loving ourselves, eating right ....very hard to do alone. it is truly hard for me to get excited about a fine meal....alone. then I just grab whatever to ease the hunger...I guess I need to be mindful of what I have around to grab, huh? I also find it harder to get motivated to walk, etc..alone...it wasn't so hard before...but I think now it is magnified by the loneliness in general in widowhood... I plan to join a class soon...hopefully that will help. Keep plugging away..Marie

Hi JJ, You're quite welcome :-). How are things going? Sorry it's been a while...I took some time off the electronicd grid .. Hugs, Marie

Butch, Pls know that Katie, your son, your grandchildren and you are in my prayers. I pray strength and peace for all...my heart feels for all of you...it's a tough situation. Grandbabys are little angels for sure. much love, Marie

Jackie, I have found online dating, odd...I think it is different as a widow maybe... Not sure of my direction in that area.. I enjoyed a good laugh with friends about dating at this age lol! I guess it's good to try new things ;-) Kay, so sorry to hear of your experience... Tks for sharing...it keeps me mindful. Hugs , Marie

My Kev will be gone 6 mos on Dec 12.. The twelfth of each month is a day I don't look forward to. I relive that last morning together over and over in my head....the last time I looked in that familiar face and those eyes..noticing the change with age and loving it...knowing he and I had spent 30yrs together and was hoping for quite a few more... And His kiss.. I relive the drive on the interstate ..the last words he said..those last few moments before the impact..thankfully I don't remember that..I must have been knocked unconscious..next thing I remember is the EMT putting me on the board, oh how it hurt... Then, I heard him doing his job....calling out each item he removed off my person...I.e, earring.... I felt him cut my clothes and ask ..what about the driver?? !! No pulse!!?? My mind exploded with the thought.." Today is the day I say goodbye to Kev.!!!???!!! The VA cemetery flashed in my mind..( we had just visited on Memorial Day) and I saw a tombstone with his name...DOB and tried to remember what the date was that day..then passed out again.. Next memory is the responding police officer asking me questions in the hospital... I drove by the spot on I95 S....about a month back...and..it's just a PC of ground ...my life changed forever that day ..and it's just a pc of ground... A paradox Thanks for listening....Marie

I was very tempted to stay in bed and not face the occasion...but, I didn't. Had a nice dinner with my son in laws family here in Indy...took a trip with my daughter and grand daughter to Michigan to visit Kev's sis and her family...on Sat...we had some great talks ...nice dinner there with everyone ..then our car's battery died at Dunkin Donuts..the local police office came and gave us a jump..and we made it home...what is life without an adventure paired with a hiccup??? Christmas was Kev's fave Holiday... Mason is 3... He will be fun...and grandpa won't be there....sigh... One day at a time, Marie

Kay...So true...very inspirational.... thanks for sharing, Marie

Hi Frussell, I miss my Kev too...Oh, the loneliness is unbearable at times...the loss of my partner and friend...who cared about me...every second of every day...sigh... I dabbled with online dating ...and have mixed feelings on them. I will see what happens next time I try, lol... It would be wonderful to have a friend to share things with ...best wishes for your journey. This discussion group has helped me many days...it feels like a family. Peace, Marie

Happy belated Gwen.. Sorry so late, been visiting daughter and her family in Indy. I have enjoyed the refuge from reality and responsibility ...the gray and cold weather makes me sleepy. Been off the grid electronically, for me, it's been therapeutic. Hope everyone is doing the best they can. I am reading the wild edge of sorrow that was recommended on here, it's interesting... I am appreciating the introspect to being a "creature of earth" and how our current society feeds neurosis by ignoring grief,etc. They describe a shared experience of grieving that sounds like it would be a cleansing experience... Wanted to drop in and say hi to everyone to catch up. I feel like we are among friends here... Marie

So very happy to have people watching out... heading out to Indy to see grand daughter soon..looking forward to that... my back has been hurting a lot this week...finally got an appt for early Jan to see a neuro surgeon. Started doing Christmas decs here at the house a little ...for Mason :-) .. He's really at a golden age... it was Kev's fave Holiday...not looking forward to facing it without him. Hugs...to all..

Great song...

Marty, " be where you are and let it be enough" ....Tks...That speaks volumes to me today.❤️ Gwen, I think just being you, you give so much love...I hope today is a good day for you. I had a good visit with my late husbands brother and his wife yesterday . We visited Kev's gravesite and we all cried. Then we toasted him at lunch ..talked about the past and the future... Today I am tired and sitting with a heating pad on my back...up two steps back one or three... "be where you are and let it be enough".. Well said Marty, thank you.

Hi Kazza, Here you will always find persons of understanding, and shared experiences...grab a spot around the gathering fire...Here we talk, vent ..cry and scream and hug/love via the web.. This Place has helped me so much. We are all on a difficult journey ..and we try to keep each other company. Take care, Marie

I have heard the phrase , "love is a verb..." Maybe if we can find a way to show our love to someone ..it might help us. Nothing will ever replace our significant other... sometimes it's almost a quandary in my own mind as to why I am left alive... Not sure if these thoughts make sense or help. We love you Gwen... hugs.

I forgot, I did have a dream not long after the accident , where I hugged him and told him I missed him...but after that my dreams picked up as if life continued...just recently I had the painful dream that he was gone ...it did not make me happy or comfort me at all...

Hi Gwenivere, I had a recnt dream where he was not alive...it hurt and mad me sad...I guess my subconscious is accepting the reality. All other dreams that I remember warlike normal life before he passed...

Thanks Kevin, it is the details that are daunting for us widows...Tks for looking out for us.