MartyT

In all the years I've worked with bereaved animal lovers, I've yet to meet a single person who doesn't share the emotions you describe. I'd venture to say that the sort of guilt you're feeling is a universal response. We pet parents hold ourselves to impossibly high standards in caring for our beloved companions, believing that, if only we'd done this or that, all would be well. And as you say, instead of remembering all the good times, right now you're focusing on all those times you weren't at your best with Drake. One reason we love our dogs so much is that they live in the moment, accepting us as we are, never holding grudges, overlooking our shortcomings and showering us with unconditional love. They do not pass judgment on our human frailties, and they don't hesitate to forgive us for whatever we've done or failed to do in our efforts to take good care of them. Dogs are far more advanced in that regard than we humans could ever hope to be. I invite you to read the following, which I hope will help you to better understand what you may be feeling and why: Guilt in The Wake of The Euthanasia Decision. (Note the additional readings listed at the base.) See also Loss and The Burden of Guilt ❤️

I'm so sorry all of this loss has happened to you, and all within five months. It's no wonder that you're feeling overwhelmed. I welcome you to this warm and caring place, and I invite you to read the following, in hopes that doing so may help: In Grief: Coping with Multiple Losses ~ and note the additional resources listed at the base of the article.

Mary Linda, you're thinking of teny ~ our "friend from far away" ❤️

Wishing you the best in your job interview! Do let us know how it turns out for you!

I know you'll be watching Kodie like a hawk, Kay. Do let us know how this turns out ~ and we're all pulling for you!

The video Kay shared includes a discussion of Complicated Grief, now known as Prolonged Grief Disorder or PGD. (See What Is Complicated Grief?) Clearly these "uncomfortable feelings" are getting in the way of your finding love again. That's an important insight, and if you continue to feel "stuck" this way, I encourage you to find a qualified grief counselor who can help you sort through all of this, come to a better understanding of yourself, and find a way to get on with your life. Think of it as a gift you can give yourself. You deserve it, and you most certainly are worth it. ❤️

My dear, the feelings you describe are not unusual, and I hope you'll hear from others whose experiences are similar to your own. The good news is that we humans have an infinite capacity to love, and if we so choose and if we are ready, our hearts most certainly are big enough to expand and make room to hold another. In this article you'll find a number of resources that I'm hoping you''ll find helpful: In Grief: Finding New Love After The Death of A Spouse ❤️

My dear, I am so sorry that this is happening to you and your sweet sunshine girl. Please know that our thoughts and hearts are with you as you face what lies ahead. Your Eunice is simply beautiful, and I know you'd give anything to keep her here with you, if only that were possible. I hope you can feel our collective arms around you . . . ❤️

Grieving Fathers The differences between the way that men and women grieve, or the expectation of how they 'should,' always strikes me the most around Father's Day. When I'm floating around the internet looking for articles to share about being a mother who is grieving on Mother's Day, articles are abundant. Not so when looking for articles written by grieving fathers. They are fewer and further between. And it always leaves me wondering how much that comes from men naturally being more reserved about their feelings, and how much was learned behavior. I have known fathers who were grieving the loss of their child, and their pain is no less poignant. I hope that the articles that we are sharing this month are a reminder that men are out there who are suffering too as they face Father's Day without their child alive to share it with them. Read on here >>>

In Grief: Setting Clear Boundaries ❤️

Thank you for this, Kieron! It really is an excellent presentation. I'm especially grateful that Dr. Huberman repeatedly includes our relationships to animals and things as well as to people, and why it hurts so much when they are lost to us. ❤️

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Gregg. Thank you for letting us know . . . Sending thoughts of comfort and healing to your broken heart ❤️

Hello again, Gregg. I'm so sorry for the reasons that bring you back to us. Clearly you are a kind and loving pet parent, and your Marble is blessed to have you in his life. I can assure you that the anticipation of losing a loved one can be just as difficult to navigate as the grief that follows that loss. See, for example, Anticipating The Loss of A Cherished Pet We will keep your Marble in our thoughts and, like you, pray for the best. Please do keep us posted on how his surgery goes. ❤️

I'm so sorry for your loss, Sheemie. In response to your question, I hope you'll find this article helpful: How to Scatter Ashes by Airplane See also: Scattering Ashes and How to release ashes from an airplane (YouTube video)

Very dear Fae, Sending you fairy blessings sprinkled with stardust ❤️

WELCOME TO THE SPRING E-LETTER FROM WINGS Click on the link to read this edition. Link: https://www.wingsgrief.org/ This is a FREE ELetter. We encourage you to pass it forward to others who might benefit. Thank you for following Wings. Nan at nanwings1@gmail.com

Love the pictures of your mother, my dear ~ those beautiful eyes, and such a lovely smile . . . ❤️ I'm hoping you'll find this article helpful: In Grief: After Caregiving Ends, Who Am I?

Our deepest sympathy to you as you mourn the loss of your mother, my dear ~ and wishes for peace and comfort to your broken heart . . . ❤️

Thanks for the update, Marg. We are thinking of you and your daughter ~ hoping that Kelli feels better tomorrow. If no improvement is evident, I hope you'll raise some Cain with her doctor. Her symptoms (shaking, painful urination) may indicate a bladder infection ~ and that can be very serious indeed if left unattended . . .

We will keep you and your daughter in our thoughts and prayers, dear Marg. Do keep us posted on Kelli's surgery and the outcome, as you are free to do so ❤️

Your kind words are deeply appreciated, my dear, and from my heart to yours, thank you for sharing them with all of us here. I wish you comfort, peace and healing. Blessings to you ❤️

Invitation to participate in a survey on bereavement Our names are Claire White, Courtney Applewhite, and Ryan McKay. We are research psychologists at Royal Holloway, University of London and California State University, Northridge, and are carrying out a study on factors that affect adjustment to bereavement. One outcome of the study will be to inform bereavement practitioners and the public. To do this, we need the help of volunteers who are at least 18 years old and who have experienced the death of a loved-one within the past 24 months to complete an online questionnaire about their experiences. Religious diversity is encouraged. Should you decide to participate, you will be asked to fill out an online survey, accessed via an invitation link, which will include questions about the death of your loved-one, the circumstances of your loved-one’s death and your reaction to it. We appreciate that these questions are extremely sensitive and personal and that completing the survey may bring up difficult emotions. If you decide to take part you can omit any questions you do not wish to answer and may withdraw at any time, without having to give a reason, by pressing the exit button. The survey should take around 45 mins to complete. Your survey responses will be identified by alphanumeric code and will not be connected to your name or other identifying information. In other words, the survey is anonymous. The study has been approved by the Research Ethics Committee of Royal Holloway, London REC ProjectID: 893. You can participate in the study by clicking on this link or copying it: Bereavement Survey (Links to an external site.) Please contact Claire White if you have any further questions: Claire White: Email: Claire.white@csun.eduTel: 818-677-5640. We would very much appreciate your participation because it will help us to further understand this sensitive but important area of research. Thank you for considering participating in the study, Claire White, Courtney Applewhite, and Ryan McKay

Thank you, dear Marg, for letting us know that you are safe. Stay that way, for us, okay?! ❤️

Gwen, my dear, I know that there is nothing I can say that will change your circumstances. What I can do is to let you know that we are here and we are listening. I know that you are in pain, and I wish with all my heart that I could make it stop. What I can do is to assure you that we care about you, that we take your concerns seriously, and that we are willing to let you share your pain with us. I hope you'll continue to let out all those painful feelings here with us, knowing that we will not run away. We will not leave you. We will not judge you for sharing with us how you feel, or rush to silence you, or try to fix what cannot be fixed. ❤️

What do you Think? Sometimes in grief, we don’t feel comfortable saying the things that are really in our hearts or thoughts at any given time. What would you like family, friends, or others to know about your grief? (example: I wish others knew that I’m embarrassed when I cry, but I just can’t help it. Grief still hurts.) Please include your name/city/state. Only your first name/city/state will be printed with your answer. Please respond before April 18th. -- Nan & Gary Zastrow nanwings1@gmail.com the Founders of: wingsgrief.org Wings--a Grief Education Ministry (1993) P.O. Box 1051, Wausau, WI 54401 Visit Wings on FACEBOOK website: wingsgrief.org