teny

Hellow Gail its a hard day for you and Im thinking of you .I have missed your posts and advise for me.You have new life in your family that will bring a lot of joy.I know the feeling of steps back but I hope that as time goes by this feelings will be easier to handle.Love from far away TENY

My dear friends I wish I could post in Greek so I can expres my feelings for both of you.Wendy you were a great help and always here when I needed you Fred you gave strength when I was in hospital in april and most amasing you wrote in Greek !How about honey moon in Greece?Happy news you give us hope for going on love your far away friend TENY

Chery I can feel your pain and do understand.It is almost 23 months for me and every morning I try to realise that that this horrible feeling is here with me .I tried many ways of therapy <if is any> went to counceling and once aweek folowed a group.The group started again the 1 sept and when they called me I felt I did not want to join.It was not a special grief group and I did not get the support that I hoped.Counceling is helping more.What helps me more is to be among family and friends.Some days I aske myself if I was first to die what will Yiany do.My son told me that in this case they wuold loose 2 parends cause he would not survive.Is it fare that Im still here and suffer like you do? Love from far away TENY

Hellow my friends.After a strugle of 15 days in hospital I drove my mother back home.I was happy she survived but deep in my heart I felt that I wished that Yiany was in her place.Whys are back and reading some of your posts with your feelings of whysI know I have no answers.I was hoping that in my second year I gould feel a little stronger.Summer is over my life has not any real meaning exept of taking care of my mother.I miss him soo much..During the day im lost and when night comes I take my pills and wish that pain will get better the next day.Some of you say that GOD knows.What was wrong to spare us this pain? What was HIS reason for our sufering?I never asked for more than Yianys love and some more years on earth together.Life? what now?Thanks for beeing here for me .YOur far away friend .TENY

Im so sory for your loss and realy understand .I lost my husband the same way he was diagnosed Oct 9 and died NOV 2.Iknow the feeling I know the pain I know the shock.Liver cancer.He did know what was happening so I did not even say good by trying to be with him and give him silent love.It is the hardest loss in our lifes.You can find a lot of care and support here.TENY

Thank you all my friends .My mom is geting beter.Still in hospital under good care Im sooo tired and sooo lost .Times like this I need his arms around me I need his suport I need his love.Although so far away Im greatfull for having you my friends that do understand and give me strength to go on.Nights that Icant sleep thinking of lost life and allthat is gone I find confort knowing that I can always post here and feel you close to me .TENY

I was not able to post earlier .MY mother had a heart attack 2 days ago I was olone with her wathching her not to be able to breath and having strong pain.I called an ambulance and got to the hospital.Same hospital same time of year all nightmers came hunting me.She was in ICU until today her life was saved but because of her age other health problems have occured.Since my father died she was very dependet on me .after Yianys death I could not handle it and many times we had alot of arguments.I had the feeling that she never understud my pain and despair.Yesterday I told her I love her and do feel that I can not face a new grief.All feelings of emtiness of despair of lost love of loosing my reason to live are back.Please pray for me I need strength I need suport I need my mom.Thank you .Your far away friend TENY

THANK you for answering.I realy need help.In greece are no facillity as you have.Elderly homes care only for people who are not able to take care of themselfs.IM not that old but not that young either.I have my work and keek busy but I just can not face life alone.I lived 40 years with YIany and he was my one and only since I got maried at 18.Thank you TENY

Hellow my friends.As some of you remember a month before Yianys death our home has been sold for an apartement building.The only house we had left was a small summer house by the sea and it was our dream place to spend retirement.When Yiany died I spend 20 months living with my brother and some days when I came back from hospital< Ihad pneumonia> with my eldest son.In june my son helpt me rearange the house and they all came to live with me for the rest of summer.I must confess it was the most conforting time since 22 months ago.Now the end is near.They are leaving cause sckools are starting.What am I to do?I have to choose .Shall I start being a guest again ?Shall I try to live alone in my house?I have never been alone in my life.Im so confused and scared.I miss my life so much.I missYiany our life.Nothing to look forward to.I have to tell you that my house is isolated.Im confused.Need help advise and your support .Thank you.TENY

Hellow Jan it has been 20 months that I did not go to my house I just could not face it without my love.My son made some painting and rearanged my bedroom.So this summer I got myself tostay because of my grandchildren beeing with me.Until this summer I was either sleeping to my brothers house or to my sons.Now that schools are starting Im facing the same broblem.I just dont want to be alone at the house that once was home and I dont even feel good beeing almost every night a guest.Sleeping?Only with help of meds.Its going to be 22 months for me and it hurts alot.Im sorry for not giving you hope but some friends here are doing better so maybe we will find confort some day. Love from far away. TENY

Hellow ny friends .I just came back from my fathers island.I have not been there since 40 years.I could not recognise the place I knew but it was like going back to the past to my identity before I met YIANY Ihave 8 fist cousins and felt like a safity net around me and gave to me and my brother alot of love.My aunt is 93,The first day she could not regognise me but the next day I told her that Iloved herand she just whispered < I have been waiting for you>.I wish I gould be able to say to YIANY how much Iloved him but Idid not cause I did not want to make him cry .He never knew that he had cancer and was dying.I always feel guilty it was very hard for me and my boys wachiung To him dy and for him to have hope that he will be coming home soon.Well i wanted to say Im back its nice to know that my far away friends are here for me.TENY

Im thinking of you from far away.I know how hard it is.TENY

Hellow my friends Athens is emty.Every one is away for the long weekend.Tomorowis one of the most holly celebration of our church.It is like summer christmas.I feel so lost I did not want to go away cause I dont feel vacation is good for me .Vacations sun sea moonlights are somethings to share with your other half.What is there to enjoy alone?Memories are hunting me and all the whys are again in my mind.Yesterday I went to church I was thinking of all of you sufering I prayed for stength and kept asking GOD for answers.Left the church and walked a long way crying crying when I had no more tears I returned to the house wishing that one day I can call it home again.Sunday I will be with my brother for2 days visiting my fathers island .My fathers sister is alive at 93.I have not been at the islaind since 40 years.Im afraid of my feelings and emotional reaction.I wanted soo much for YIANY tobe here when I return hold my hand and tell him all about my fathers family.I miss him soooo much .Your far away friend TENY

I just found out so HAPPY BIRTHDAY best wiches .your far away friend TENY

HI Lily Im surprised that your father is Greek.Did you mean Ti kanis Thatis how are you in Greek? Have you ever visited Greece? THank you for your kind words TENY

DEAR WENDY Iwill pray for you and your mother.The 15 of this month is the bigest holiday for the orthodox church.It is like summer christmas.In the island of tinos the cathidral dedicated to Virgin Mary celebrates for a week and people around the world are visiting.People that visit believe in miracles and thre is proof of people healing by praying in the church.I will not be there but Il pray for you that particular day.Your friend from far away TENY.When are you planing to come? did you read my answerto your post?

WENDY coming over is the best idea I would love to have here .Best time IS during may until the midle of June and September.That is the time when we can stay at My summer house cause The childrens room is emty they are still at skool.I will start making plans.Just say when.Love .Your far away friend TENY

Hellow JOE Please email the artical for me.Im in counceling and my doctor incist that Im not moving and I have comlicated grief.I did not have acomplicated life it was full of love how easy they can tell what is complicated when you loose you reason to breath?TENY

Wendy Debora Kay thank you for replying .Its a very hard day Athens is empty everybody is away for summer vacations all my friends are gone and no one to talk is around.Thank God I got your answers and feel I have friends from far wway that care.I was thinking of visiting Yiannys grave but Im scared to go alone.I know I have to be arownd for my children but there are times I find no meaning for being here. Does any of you have the feeling like life is going on and you are just watching being not part of this world?Thank you TENY

Hellow my far away friends I need support and hugs its going to be 21 months tommorow and it hurts always the same I feel lonely loosing my other half and panic when I realise that Im getting old without him who is going to be there for me with whom Ill share my life my thoughts my memories my every days wonders feelings and proplems? Yesterday some old friends came for dinner at my summer house .It was the first time after yianys death .When they were living my friend told me that it was very hard to be at that house for dinner without him.Can you imagine how hard its for me?It was uor dream to spend the rest of our lifes in that house .only memmories and emptiness is left no meening for the coming days .I just keep remembering that 2 years ago altough he was OK one evening watching the sunset holding my hand he told me <I feel my circle of life is closing>.I did not want to talk about it and in few minutes he kissed me and said < dont worry I will never leave you.In 2 months with no previous symtoms he got in hospital with pain it was liver cancer and died within 10 days.I canot recall happy memories Im stuk with his last days and not being able to tell him how much I loved him cause he did not know about his condition and I was afraid that I would getemotional and start crying.Yiany was taking care of all the bills and the handlign of our work I only had the artistic part and the pleasure of work.Aday before he died I asked about paymends and the answer was that he is coming home and take care of everything.IM sooo desperate. Thank you for being there . TENY

DEAR KAREN my far away friend take care of your self we need you .Thank you for being here for me you are my hope that some day I can go on with no tears.Hugs from Greece. TENY

Thank you my friends for being here for me I need you all and get alot of courage with your conforting words.TENY

HI GAIL IM only 2 months ahead of you and know how you feel its like if we started together the road me did not want to travel.I think of you and wish that maybe some day I can meet soe of you my far away friends.TENY

Hellow my friends.Some of you would like to know how is life in Greece.I must tellyou that for me summer is a beautiful season.It never rains its hot but dry and the sea is clear and warm.I was always expecting summer with joy. The mainland is saroundet by more than 2000 islands.I have been to one of them last weekend I could not enjoy and feel any happiness >my friends were wathing thee moon shining at the sea music was playing and I was desperate and full of tears.I came back to my summer house it was our dream house to spend the rest of our lifes together now its only me.Although my son and grand children are with me I cant stop missing him more and more and feel so alone and desperate.MY mind is on my loss and thinking what the future is planing for me.Trying to be busy but IM so tired.thanks for being here for meYOur far away friend >TENY

I keep reading every post.I dont answer cause IM only now realising that loss is forever and whatever Ido death and loss are with me.Some days when I work long the pain gets easier and then strikes harder.I dont let my feelings out my family thinks Im doing well.looking forward for this month my grand children are coming to staywith me.Even happy moments make the loss grater.I miss him so much trying to find meaning for my life.Still confused .Greek summer sun sea and islads was our dream Lost love lost dreams .Hope my far away friends understand.TENY