kayc

I've been feeling sick too and don't know why, but I'm not half as bad as poor Arlie. It's been snowing a bit here today but too warm to stick, we'll see what happens tonight. Anne, I feel the same way, not happy about how I came to be here, but there's good company here!

I am so sorry for your loss. I have heard of that, it's been in the newspaper about others going through that. It is very hard dealing with other people's responses when you're grieving. Many of their "problems" seem trivial in comparison. It is hard to understand how people can be so lacking in their understanding but when they haven't been through it, they just don't know. I'm glad they haven't been through it, but it still makes it tough. My heart goes out to you. Take your time, your grief journey is unique and you may find it is years you are dealing with this, and that's okay. Don't let anyone rush you or deny you your grief. One day at a time...

I didn't know that either, excuse me for not asking how you were when you called! Are you getting any better?

Hi, I just made another batch, this one more liquidy, but will wait for tomorrow to try him out on it as I'm letting his tummy/system rest today completely. Poor dog, I'm sure he thinks he's starving! I have to put him out in the pen when I eat as I don't have the heart to eat in front of him. Fae, thanks for calling, I truly am exhausted trying to figure this out w/seemingly no help from the vet. I plan to call another vet tomorrow. Of course, since he's off food right now he won't have a stool sample for me to take in tomorrow but perhaps by Tues. I'll have something for them to test. I still think it's intestinal infection and don't understand why they wouldn't test his stool for it when I brought it in. It could be viral or bacterial, but I do think it's intestinal not Colitis, ahh what do I know, I'm just Arlie's mom! Deborah, it sounds like you've been through it too, not fun!

Anne, There are many forms of prayer...motionless and quiet is one of them. Many people make the mistake of thinking they have to talk incessantly when they pray...talking is only one part of it, listening is another, so is being still. I think you grasp prayer more than you think. Sometimes we are at a loss for words, and that's okay too.

Arlie is sick again, this time worse. Vomiting and Diarrhea, can't even keep 1/4 c. mix w/Probiotics down. Letting his tummy rest today and will try him on it in minute quantities tomorrow. Poor baby, I woke up at 5 this morning and he was waiting for me and told me he HAD to go outside, and didn't waste any time. What other dog do you know, when they're sick, will WAIT for you to wake up? I'm about at my wit's end, not knowing what's wrong with him.

I am so sorry you lost your dog and for your children's grief as well as your own. I've lost many dogs over the years and it isn't easy. I came close to losing mine recently and it had me on pins and needles for over five weeks, waiting to see if he'd pull through. I too think of my dog as a companion. I live alone and he's the one that greets me every night, that loves me, protects me, entertains me. He's just such wonderful company! When I lose him someday I will feel devastated and don't know how I'll get through it, but I imagine I'll do so the same way I did when my sweet husband died...one day at a time. The pain feels unbearable at first but it doesn't stay at that level of intensity forever, time softens it, although you will always miss him.

Thinking of you Shannon and hope you are getting better each day.

Yes Jan, that is a good way to look at it. George did too, and it is a comfort.

I hadn't thought of that, but it's a very real possibility. I took him to the park today, he liked that.

I think if something holds meaning for you that a msg/sign can be sent your way through that...like pennies from heaven or a rainbow or something. Rainbows hold special meaning for me because when George died there was a HUGE thunder/lightening storm AND a triple rainbow at that very moment! So when I see one I can't help but think of the way he went out from here and maybe he's saying everything's okay.

Or driving. I get tired of my commute because there's times I just want to be home, don't want the time or expense, but if it was suddenly cut, I might miss the chance I have to transition from work to home, to be alone with my thoughts...not that I'm not alone most of the time anyway, but when driving, you're stuck there, you can't go fix dinner or clean the house, you're alone with your thoughts.

I don't think there was anything for them to get into. But they could have picked up a virus or something...I have one cat that goes in and out more and she could have brought something in to them. I'm glad you are smart enough to nip it in the bud, Mary...goldens are notorious for obesity. And I'm afraid I've spoiled Arlie. I might not be able to get 17 lbs off him but I definitely don't want him to gain any more weight and would like to have him lose a bit, anything is better than nothing. He does seem better today so I'm getting him back on dog food, while continuing some of his mixture with probiotics in it. I think Kitty will resolve hers on her own. You can't make a cat do anything they don't want to so I have less control over her diet than Arlie's. She wants her catfood, period. I used to give her cheese as a treat for taking her medicine, then suddenly she abhored it, just like that. This week I tried chicken breast as a reward to her and nothing doing! She always loved chicken before! It's like, if it's MY idea, forget it!

Mary, Happy Anniversary, I know he'll be in your thoughts all day today. I understand, some were concerned about George and I too...we figured they'd see what we had together after we'd been married 20 years...we didn't get to, of course, but they saw anyway even in the short time we got together. I'm glad my kids got to see what real love looks like so they could have a pattern for themselves, they've both done with with their selection of their mates.

Mary, I think you've made some good choices with your neutral colors. One can always add brighter touches with paintings, rugs, etc. but the walls and flooring one has to be able to live with for a very long time. 35 years ago when I selected the counters that would go in my kitchen, I selected something very neutral, light, touches of almond, white, and brown, and in my dining room and bathroom, rich warm browns, and in my own bathroom, almond/white with threads of gold...and you know what? I have NEVER gotten sick of them or had a hard time getting something to go with them! Bring color in through valances or wall hangings but let the permanent fixtures be neutral. People who get chartreuse bathtubs live to regret it. I'm glad your grass is turning green...so is mine, but I can't mow yet, way too wet still. I went out to the garage the other day and there say my mower with a flat tire and needing a new battery (it's a riding one). Sometimes I wish I had one of the old hand cranked (so to speak) push mowers that don't require "starting", just muscle power. I could much easier deal with the need for exercise than the know how on mechanical things. Some things like mowers and wood splitters are just so hard to start! They take more muscle power than I have or knowledge or something. Ahh well, I'll wait until my friend is back from vacation, perhaps I can get him to help me ready it for tackling my growing lawn. QueenieMary, I'm glad your trip to the vet is over with, and poor Corgi survived the trauma! Your picture of your home is beautiful! Will post about Arlie on the doggy thread.

Marty, thank you for that article, I had to share it on FB and email it to a friend who is feeling despondent today. How timely and fitting this article is for our everyday lives! Mary, thank you for expressing so well what I know to be true and feel in my heart. Yes it's moments I look for now. So much of my former life was wrapped up in George and HE made me happy. I am now having to learn how to be responsible for my own happiness. That is more challenging than at first it might seem! But I'm learning it. I am trying to shed (my XH's way) the thinking that a moment spent doing what one wants, on oneself is a moment wasted or laziness. I am learning balance. Anne, what I have learned is that pain, while it may seem all encompassing, does not define us nor should it define how our day goes. The kind of pain we grievers have, we do learn to live with and coexist with. I have learned not to dispel it but to embrace it, for it is all part of the expression of what I experience in my life, along with the joys and the mundane of every day existence. And yes, I do think pain subsides eventually...it is the "eventually" part that we are impatient with.

Anne, I want to address your first post before I go back and read the rest of this thread. Your post could have been written by me, just change some of the details in it. I have George's Christmas stocking for people to put what they want in instead of a box, same concept. I was just thinking the same things last night and this morning. Why does my focus get so inward, is it because I live so much of my life alone? Is it really that the things that go wrong seem to grab our attention whereas the things that are good require us to go looking for them and make an effort to focus on them? Whatever it is, I need to practice it even more than I do. I don't want to focus on the things that go wrong so much that I miss out on some of the things that are good. Life is what happens when we are busy wishing it away. You wonder why you have to live without your Jim...maybe it's to be here for us, I know you are invaluable to me! I love you and appreciate you.

I think I don't want to know. I'm lucky that I'm pretty good at handling money (I've had to do it for bosses and myself for years) so even though there never seems to be enough to go around, I have the general concepts down. Live by a budget. Don't forget to include the once in a while things that happen. Budget for your groceries, gas, etc. and stick to it. Put aside whatever you can. Think of ways to save $ and not to spend it. There WILL be a rainy day, count on it...and plan for it. If you want something special that isn't in your budget, think of a way to come up with the extra $ (sell something on eBay or Craigslist, sell something you make, etc.). There's always stuff laying around that we don't need or use...someone else might just want it. I make my food from scratch, that saves a lot at the grocery store plus it's healthier. When I was young, I used to trade babysitting so I could go out with my husband or GFs once in a while. Bartering is always something to explore!

fae, I can't believe what you attempt to do! I hope your meeting is a respite from the hard work and you allow yourself some chance to rest today. I woke up sick today and between that and my three hour time with the dentist yesterday, am not planning to accomplish much beyond laundry today.

I think Kitty has had the same thing and is slowly improving, and I think it's, therefore, contagious. I do not think it's Colitis, I've seen Colitis many times, and he doesn't exhibit that. He IS, however, doing better. I'm going to try introducing his dog food, so he'll be on some of each today. I tried the pumpkin last night with his mix and he readily ate it. His spirits and energy has marked improvement today. I am amazed at the lack of concern exhibited by his out-of-town veterinary clinic. I need to find another one, I should start calling around and asking questions. A friend of mine called last night and said he's going to have to put his youngest dog down. He cried. I've known him for 38 years and never heard/seen him cry. My heart goes out to him. I offered to go with him today, but he declined, probably uncomfortable with showing that kind of emotion and maybe wanting to be alone with his dog as he says goodbye. Arlie weighs 117 now and that's about 17 too much. It's very hard to put them on a diet...they don't like it any better than we do. In a way, even less, because they don't understand why we're depriving them and they have such a strong instinct for eating, esp. if they've ever been truly hungry as I suspect Arlie was before I met him.

Mary, I'll put it on 4-legged...

I received this in my email today, I thought it was thought provoking... On this day of your life, Kay, I believe God wants you to know... ...that the reason you are on the planet has very little to do with what you spend most of your time on. Maybe you might rearrange your priorities just a bit, paying more attention to your soul...do you think? When was the last time you meditated for even a half hour? Or sat down for a good long read of something spiritual and inspiring? Are you talking to God every day? Might you make the conversations just a little bit longer...? -Neale Donald Walsh

Ahh, thanks! But then I think he's the best dog in the world (for me) so I guess we're even. I don't think the vets think so. He is anxious and gets scared and balks at whatever torture they're trying to do to him. I told them if strangers took me away from my mommy and tried to cram charcoal down my throat and I didn't know why, I wouldn't let them either. Or if two big people I didn't know took a staple gun to my cut hurting paw, I wouldn't cooperate either. Fortunately, my local vet gets that and understands, she's great with him and lovingly calls him "The Moose" when he arrives. But she's only there on Wednesdays and doesn't do lab work so we have to put up with the out of town vets.

Very well explained. But still, I hated that term when I was fresh in my grief.

Last year I had snow thru May 27 but I never had it that late before. In the past, April snow was unusual. I guess it's changed.