kayc

Happy Easter to you too, Harry. Other than church in the morning (I'm singing), it'll be a day to get some work done since it's sun-shining...make hay while the sun shines!

I fixed my Easter dinner today since I haven't heard from my daughter. while it was in the oven, I went out and knocked the wood stack wall down, it was about ready to fall and I couldn't shore it up because my son has engines, etc. on the other side of it in the way and he won't be here until summer, too late then, I need to get wood now. So I spent my afternoon restacking the wall and trying to make it sturdier and straighter...it used to be okay, I guess too many cats have pranced around on it, grrr! Anyway, got that done and have cleaned up from dinner, walked Arlie, now my back is exhausted and I'm done for tonight. Church all morning and then I'm having a cord of wood delivered in the afternoon so will work on stacking that all afternoon before I order three more cords. I wish I knew what the weather would be like next weekend, it shows rain on Friday.

I tried scraping the plaque off Arlie's teeth, I can't imagine him letting a dentist do it. He seems to like the toothbrush/toothpaste, but he doesn't get that you aren't supposed to try and eat it.

I'm sorry, Shannon. I never had a mom like that so I don't know what it'd be like either. Life sure isn't fair, is it.

Anne, you come up with the most beautiful videos, I love the choreography! But then you know how I love nature. I took Arlie down in the yard and hooked him up to Skye's chain, figured he can go 50 feet on it and he might like the sunshine and freedom. After taking off running and coming to a screeching halt at the end of the chain (apparently he didn't understand how chains work) and nearly breaking his neck, he settled in to enjoy himself and I went about my chores. I came down in the yard to check on him and he'd dug a huge mud hole and was laying in it, covered with mud, of course. My outdoor faucets are still turned off and I need a man to turn the bolt before I can set them up for use again, so I brought him in the back door and straight to the bathtub. An hour later, the towels are in the laundry, the bathroom is cleaned up and Arlie is drying off, happily chewing on a chew for "being a good boy" in his bath.

I wouldn't worry about it, nothing that can't wait until next week. Go enjoy your Easter weekend, Marty! We're all big talkers, we can write more stuff!

George died on June 19, Father's Day...the entire summer is a fog! Seriously! I know the phone rang off the hook for days and my sister and daughter answered it and put it to my ear but I don't remember any of the calls or who they were, I just wish they'd all stop, I couldn't take it, it was all just too much. Then after his service when everyone went on their merry ways, I wish just one of them would call or care or listen, but no, they didn't want "death" to touch them. It was weird, I never would have expected people to react like they did.

We went through this with my granddoggy, Skye (he lived with me off and on much of his life). I never scolded Skye for pooping in the house, I knew it struck him to the core, and he'd never done so the first several years of his life, he'd have rather died! I knew he couldn't help that he'd become incontinent. My son took him to the vet and they suggested Metamucil, and we tried this and that to get him to take it. We finally found he liked the orange Metamucil in milk...tastes kind of like a Creamsicle. (I always called them Dreamsicles when I was a kid). It didn't seem to help his incontinence but it did make it easier to clean up. These precious animals are so much more important than any inconvenience from their getting old. Skye doesn't have much longer now and I worry I won't get to see him before...my son lives two hours away and I have a trip planned, but I would dearly love it if Skye could make it until summer and I could take care of him for a few days again. He loves his grandma and loves coming here. My son was living with me when he first got Skye, and every time he had to go on a trip, it was me that took care of Skye...I even got him for three months last year when my son got married and honeymooned. But I miss him and it's going to kill me when w lose him.

I will be thinking of you Shannon, come Monday morning and saying a prayer up for your mother and you.

Shannon, That is sweet. I'm glad he wanted you there and was calling you sweetie.

I love how cats look through things, they are so curious!

Mary, I will take a look at the recipe. I have read about the raw food diet, but Arlie's system is very sensitive, so is Skye's, so I stick with the dog food I know to be healthy. My son researched them and compared ingredients, and found one that works for our dogs. (His dog is not able to process wheat.) The first two ingredients are Salmon and Sweet Potato, it has a lot of vegetables, even blueberries, doesn't have filler.

Ahh Mary, thank you. Did we lose from May to March? I hope it's not gone forever, as this thread is special to me.

I am lucky in that I can share with my sisters and children about George, and also a special friend. Others, you are right, don't care to hear. I will never tire of hearing any of you share about your spouse, I just mentioned that in another thread, I think the quote one. Anthony, for the longest time it was difficult for me to go to weddings or funerals, I still can't say as it's easy, but yes, it stirs up many memories.

Henri Nouwen's quote reminds me of the Bible passage "rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep", a simplified version of the same theme. Henri has such a way of putting things, so eloquent! Mary, I appreciate your sharing about Bill, I love to hear about our spouses, it makes sense, our grieving, when we hear about what remarkable beings they were (are)! I love hearing all of your stories and lends me permission to share about George. Mary, I hope today is going okay for you, knowing it is the anv. of his burial. George died on a Sunday so I waited a few days for his memorial service so people could come on the weekend, and held it on the following Sat., and as I had him cremated, there wasn't a rush. I remember spending 17 hours straight scanning and printing photos and making a collage, working feverishly...it gave me something to do. It was a large standup collage that I had at the memorial service in the fellowship hall where we had dinner afterwards. People enjoyed seeing photos of him throughout his life. I also had a stack of pictures for everyone to take with them. Today is a beautiful Spring day, I'm hoping winter is gone from here. I just got back from walking Arlie. After I get the chores done, who knows, maybe we'll go for a ride together.

Jn, Know that what you are feeling and going through, we all have, it is esp. rough in the earlier months. It's hard to believe but you do get more used to it...not that we ever like it, we don't. I remember feeling panicky, scared, and the pain was unbearable! If anyone would have told me I would have survived another nearly eight years, I wouldn't have believed it...I didn't see how I could make it a month or a year. Like Mary and Anne said, let the tears fall, continue to express yourself, it helps you to feel you're restoring some of the power you felt you lost when he died. It not only changes our world, but it changes us. Wail out loud! There will come a time when thoughts of Dave will put a smile on your face again, instead of tears and pain. But always you will miss him and yearn for him, that part never goes away.

I can't view Transformations posted since Feb 9.

kolea, Your cat is beautiful! I've never had an orange cat, always wanted one. Is your name Beth or is that the name of your cat? I tend to isolate more than I should so I can relate, but since I have such a long commute during the week, I kind of cherish have down time at home. So, to the post office it is today!

Not yet...still waiting to hear back. Paul & Bethany and I will get together after Arlie gets pronounced okay, we'll take the dogs to a dog park.

Shannon, It's good to hear you do what you need to do for YOU (listen to music), it's so important that now of all times you be in touch with listening to your inner self and needs. Is Leo expressing an interest in coming home or is he even able to remember and articulate that at this point? I'm glad you have people working with you and are not alone in trying to make this happen.

Mary, I felt like applauding that! I, too, love Henri Nouwen and this quote is so true!

kolea52, Pleased to meet you, although I wish it were under different circumstances. I'm so sorry you lost your husband, and your brother, and your cat. I'm also sorry to learn you're having to battle cancer. That word in itself is enough to scare anyone, but there's no room for fear when you're fighting a battle, and they have come so far in stomping cancer, I hope you can remain upbeat and continue the fight, we love nothing more that to see someone conquer what they're going through! My life was great up until seven years, ten & 1/2 months ago when I lost my husband. Actually, things started happening the month before he died. I got several pieces of bad right before he died, and then after he passed I lost my job. A few months later I landed a new one but they're struggling and are always behind paying us, and then I was laid off for a year and took a couple of falls right afterwards that weren't good. I lost several cats and a dog and a husband (I remarried, long story) and nearly lost two sisters and then my mom got Dementia and it took us a year to take her to court to get her evaluated and placed into a Dementia Care Facility...she's way beyond being able to care for at home, they said she needs in a lock down facility. I, like you, don't look for bad, but after a while you come to brace yourself as you get used to the hits. I wish I could envision a rosy life out there somewhere but I don't see it. I aim for something smaller...like survival. All I know to do is put one foot in front of the other and keep going. I, like you, have learned so much, much of it through life experience, much of it right here on this forum. One thing I've learned that has greatly helped me is to try and stay in the present. At 3:00 am when I can't sleep, that's hard to do because I can "worry around the world" but it helps rein in my anxiety to stay in the present and not "borrow trouble". Spending time with my dog also helps bring things into balance. The best thing I ever did was get him, he's the joy of my life. I hope you will continue to come here and share. There's nearly always someone around and this is a very safe place to be...the best forum I've ever run across. I guess that's why they can't get rid of me even after nearly eight years, LOL. We all share along our journey and help one another, this place is very supportive.

I saw my mom Tues. night, she had a pretty good night, that was good. I'm trying to learn to accept whatever comes, good or bad. When I took her back to the care center, she clearly did not want left there, that was hard, I felt like I shut the door on her, you can't know how that felt. I'm so sorry she's in this state of mind (paranoia) and doesn't understand anything because she still experiences the emotions that go with it, real or imagined. I wish she could be out of this.

Shannon, there is just no easy way about this, it's extremely hard at best. Has he made explicit wishes and made them known? If so, that makes your job easier as you'd just be carrying them out and honoring his requests. If he hasn't, I don't know if you'd be up to talking to him about it now...maybe to your SIL/BIL as well. It just shouldn't be all on you. Do you know why he doesn't want to see you, is it because he feels too rotten? If so, I'd stop in, stay for a short time, but respect his wishes. God this is tough, no matter how you look at it. Try not to think about Mon. until Monday, you have your hands full w/today. Hang in there and remember to breathe!

Mary, It sounds like you spent the day well...it's cool about the peacock! There are some near our local cemetery, they roam around free although i think someone actually owns them. My dad died near Easter, so it holds significance for me for that too. This year, Easter being early, it doesn't fall near his death date though. It looks like I'll be spending Easter alone, I'd bought a bunch of groceries thinking my daughter and SIL might be up but he has to work and she's not sure she can make it. My son and his wife are tied up with their church and me with mine so neither of us can travel.