Some Sad News

[Sad_Widower]

Hi all,

So they say that the survivor often does not live long after the death of their soulmate. 

In my case, this appears it will be true.  

I want to share with you all I have been diagnosed with Terminal Stage IV colon cancer.  The good news is if I had not gone to the ER and left untreated, the doctor said i only had a few months.  The bad news is it is incurable.  

I am unsure if the stressors of losing my wife aided in this (no one in my family has it), however I could sense my health deteriorating since losing her. 
My Blessing
On a side note, my wife taught me that in almost every scenario, there is something good to focus on. 
The result of this caused something I never would have imagined, and that is my parents and I have reunited.  We had a long talk and they claim they thought I didn’t want to see them (which was the furthest from the truth) but whatever the reason it is over now. As mentioned previously, as an only child I was incredibly close to them for 50 years. They live only a few miles from me so I get to spend my remaining years in the love of my family which means everything to me.   

Still, this is hard news to take and I just pray God is with me. I certainly feel like I am right with God whatever happens henceforth is in his hands. 

Thanks for listening. 

[MartyT]

38 minutes ago, Sad_Widower said:

On a side note, my wife taught me that in almost every scenario, there is something good to focus on. 
The result of this caused something I never would have imagined, and that is my parents and I have reunited.

I'm so sorry to learn this news about your physical health, my friend, but how wonderful that it's led to your reconciliation with your parents. I can think of no better way to honor your beloved wife's wise teaching. Please know that we are with you, lifting you in our thoughts and prayers, as you continue on your journey, wherever it may lead.  ❤️

[mik]

I am so sorry to hear your news. I will keep you in my prayers.  

[V. R.]

Hi, I've just checked in here as I do every morning when I get up and I saw your new post. I am so sorry about this sad news, we will be thinking of you here, I'm also glad to hear you have reconciliated with your parents, this has happened to me too and I'm also an only child. 

We are always here when you want to share your thoughts and feelings. 

Take care. 

 

[Widow2015]

So sorry to read your sad news.  Take care as you walk this new path ahead of you.  I agree, you are blessed to have your family nearby.  Dee

[Boho-Soul]

I have a heavy heart hearing this news. You and your family are in my prayers 🙏

It's truly such a blessing that you have been able to reunite with your parents.

Your forum family are here for you when you feel the need to share ♥️

[kayc]

I am so stunned to hear this!  You are in my prayers for sure.   

I'm glad it's enabled you to be with your folks and you have familial support!

[Margm]

I cannot think of words to say.  I am so glad you and your family reconciled.  My close friend remarried, took care of her sick husband and let her own health go.  She still gets around some days, but she has congestive heart failure and is going on dialysis.  I do know that losing your partner puts you in a defeated state, but finding your family again gives you reason to fight.  My sister, who is 10 years younger than I am, she is fighting colorectal cancer now.  I've got to say, the chemotherapy she deemed "poison" has given her a new start to things.  For now she is more ambitious than I have seen her in years.  Alfred, Lord Tennyson said 'More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of. ' So, that is what we will do.  I don't think the person you pray for has to believe the same as I do, it just matters that I believe it.  Please write in again and we will help support you all we can.   

[razorclam]

Dear Sad,

    I read your message with a heavy heart, and sad memories, as it is very similar to the one I got from my soul mate 4.5 years ago. I am so very happy that you reunited with your family, and that the connection to your loved ones will provide you with a life force.

Razorclam

 

[Gwenivere]

We all know this is waiting for us someday.  I’m so sorry it has made itself known to you, but see you have found ways to to enhance your life.  I don’t now how to say anything I won’t stumble over.  Reunion with your parents is wonderful.  All of you getting the most precious of time.  I’m not a person of prayer, but I am of caring deeply. You are deeply in my thoughts.

[kayc]

@Sad_Widower Just checking in on you...

[Chocolate]

On 10/14/2022 at 8:20 PM, Sad_Widower said:

Hi all,

So they say that the survivor often does not live long after the death of their soulmate. 

In my case, this appears it will be true.  

I want to share with you all I have been diagnosed with Terminal Stage IV colon cancer.  The good news is if I had not gone to the ER and left untreated, the doctor said i only had a few months.  The bad news is it is incurable.  

 

I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis.  I think all of us who have lost a soulmate feel our health go downhill.  How do they plan to treat it? Will you need surgery?  Will you have chemo and/or radiation?  Is there anyone to take care of you and take you to appointments?  Have you felt your wife with you since the diagnosis? My husband lived 8 more years after his colon was removed.

As for me, if I get that kind of diagnosis, I've decided I will just allow it to take it's course.  There is no one to take care of me in any way.  You will be in my thoughts.

[kayc]

Oh Chocolate, my heart breaks as you write there is no one to take care of you, I am in the same boat and know all too well how that feels.  (((hugs)))  It'd be nice if we could all go as my sister did, in her sleep, in her recliner...yet there can be something healing/soothing about having family there taking care of you, as I did my MIL years ago.  It will always be a hard but special time in my memory.

[Gwenivere]

This is a huge decision.  I wouldn’t want any  the ‘poison' used to treat something terminal.  I also don’t want to be alone anymore.  Sad, you haven’t expressed what choice you’ve made.  I watched Steve’ try treatment for time, but the quality wasn’t worth it to him. It granted little of that. He opted  little to playing music with his buddies and time we could deeply share.  It’s certainly a private decision you don’t have to reveal.  I wish you the best in whatever you choose.  💕

[kayc]

My friend Iris opted for chemo, etc. because she is in mid 60s and still has a husband, but she said if she gets it again she won't.  It was beyond hard!  She is doing Keto to reverse it and so far it is working.  Chemo literally kills your body.  Yes we survive it but OMG the cost!

SadWidower, you have been very silent, you're in my thoughts and prayers and I hope this means you are focusing on what you need to and not expending energy on other things.