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Guest moparlicious
Posted

13 months into this journey, I feel so sad. alone and lost. I have tried different activities and tried just recently to begin dating, I met what I thought was a very nice guy and we went out, he told me his life story and I shared alot with him, today he text's me and tell me I am not his type, and he thinks I am ugly. Ugly, wow I couldn't believe it, I have never been told that in my life, just as I was ready to open a new chapter in my life, the book slams shut. Now, I have been crying most of the morning for I feel so worthless, lonely and the despair is weighing on my heart, HEAVY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I sit here and long for my Dan and wonder foolishly, why he won't walk through that door.If only love can bring him back or keep him here, he wouldn't be gone, I ask God why he needed him more than me. He was my heart and soul. Everyone says just relax it will happen when its supposed too, and blah, blah blah, I am so sick of that I want puke.Thanks for your help. Kim

Posted

Dear Kim,

I want so badly to say something that will make you feel loved and special because you are. You were able to experience love with Dan that most people cannot even fathom. It didn't end when Dan died. It is still with you, in you, it will always be a part of who you are. It must have been really wonderful because I think you are extremely courageous for trying to date again. I want to shake the person that would call anyone ugly. Don't give up on yourself because of one really insensitive, cruel opinion. You are a worthwhile woman and you deserve to be loved...by yourself first, by those that know you and by those you have yet to meet.

Please don't let the turkeys get you down!

Posted

Kim,

For one, if he was that big of a JERK (I use jerk because I can't use what I would really want to call him and not get censored)then he wasn't your type. That was just plain mean. Don't take it personnally, he has probably had other women who tried to hold on and he decided to tell you that so you wouldn't call him again. However, I am not trying to defend him that was just wrong. Dating is so very difficult after we have lost a loved one. I know you don't want to hear the just give it time line however, you are still within the 2 year time period. While each person is different when it comes to starting to date again I have found and heard that it is best after 2 years. I have had a few first dates and it is no fun. Forget this guy, you don't deserve to have that done to you and, he doesn't deserve anyone as wonderful as you.

Love always

Derek

Guest moparlicious
Posted

Kath,

Thank you so much for your kind inspiring words. I know there are many ppl in this world and I am only 41 years old, I just am so lonely and being a third wheel with everyone is awful. I just began to find myself and I know I am wonderful and I have a heart so big, and I have alot to offer. This conversation I had with this turkey weighs heavy on my mind, I am trying to let it go, I feel so humiliated. Thanks for your thoughtfulness I really need you all this weekend for I will make it through. Love, Kim

Derek,

Thank you so much, I am taking the words of advice and going to forget the dating thing right now. You are such a dear friend to me and I thank you so much!!!!!! Thank you for being here for me when I really needed you the most and helping me through this bump in the road. You make me feel better. :wub: Love, Kim

Posted

Kim, dear, please do NOT permit this guy to define who and what you are. You know better than that ~ we ALL know better. What he said to you was just plain cruel ~ not to mention WRONG ~ and you've already learned all you need to know about him. Good riddance, I say.

Posted

Amen Marty,

Kim, that is why I stick around I love to help people in any way possible and to me by helping others then I can cope with my loss better, knowing that even though I don't know why God chose to take her this early, I can chose to say it was in order for me to experience death and be able to help someone else get through that same experience. I know what it is like being the third wheel, and that is why I started dating at a year and a half. I have since stopped looking at myself as the third wheel and satrted enjoying being single. While I have dated several times this past year I finaly realized why I was dating. It wasn't out of love or anything like that it was because I wanted to look normal, Have someone in church to sit next to and holod, someone to be with me during family events and so forth and for me those are the wrong reasons. So for now I choose to stay single and enjoy life. If someone happens to come alomg then great but I am not going to be out there looking for now.

Love always

Derek

Posted

Kim,

How RUDE!!!!!!!!!! If he didn't want to see you again then fine and that probably would hurt and make you wonder, but he was just down right mean. I don't understand how people can do that. I worry about every word I say that someone will take it wrong. I even had a situation where someone heard part of a conversation and told someone something I didn't say and I worried about that. I can't imagine how imagine how anybody can be so cruel

Needless to say you are much better without him. Don't let him get to you. Just remember that beauty is only skin deep. It is the person you are inside that counts.

Have you moved yet? If not, maybe the "scenery" will be better there.

Take care and know that we all love :wub: you here.

Guest moparlicious
Posted

Mary Linda,

Thank you for your kindness, I love you guys so much. You all are the best!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love, Kim

Posted

Kim...

I'm shocked! That is the coldest, rudest, bad-hearted thing anyone could do. Whatta creep! I don't even understand people like that. You have to get yourself back on both feet, be proud of yourself and all that you've done and are doing. Don't let those kind of awful people hurt you. Wow! You are our friend, and we care for you, and we want you to feel good about yourself, and we love you, and all the rest. There should be a few of us around to take care of that person....just kidding, but maybe not! It makes my angry that you were hurt like that. You please start putting good thoughts in your mind and get rid of those thare aren't good for you. Please, please take care of yourself.

Your friend, Karen :wub::wub:

Posted

Kim..I'm so sorry that jerk would say such a thing. For me at has been almost 21 months since Bruce died and like you I have tired dating the first time was in July and we had two and he told me he could not do this because I was Bruce's wife and he felt like we were cheating on him(he knew my husband) so that was a big waste of time and like you it hurt like hell..and then again a few weeks ago and that did not turn out...like you i feel like i am going to have to spend the rest of my life alone...you talk care of yourself and it is his loss that he did not take the time to get to know the real you...Gail :wub:

Guest moparlicious
Posted

Thank you all you all are so amazing and great ppl I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!! Your response and kindness swells my heart with pride you all complete me. I am a very sensitive person and take everything to heart and personally, I care about everyone and can't be mean to anyone, I know I don't deserve this kind of treatment from people, he was one jerk, I know. Dan is a candle burning light for all life to see, and now he is not with us in a physical way but he is with us in memories and Dan will always burn a special light in our hearts and as we continue on in life.I miss him so much, he was kind hearted like me and was a amazing father and husband. I am a lucky lady and I am sorry I am feeling sorry for myself I just don't like being hurt by cruel people. Nov 16th is a candle lighting ceremony with Hospice of the Valley at Indian Steele Park at 6pm I am going to have several photos of Dan and us and if your local I encourage you to do this same, I really would love to meet some of you and see you there. I will be there with my family!!!!!!!! I love you guys, Kim P.S._ I am sorry I went off topic quite a few times and jumping all over the place. -_-

Posted

Dear Kim,

I think you are just about the same age as my daughter. If someone did something like that to her, I think I would have take him to the dirt!!! Of course he is an A #1 jerk. Do not let that remark get into your head. You are beautiful and someone who deserves you will tell you that again one day.

Hugs,

Sherry

Guest Mrs.Charley
Posted

Kim,

My first thought was he deserves a kicking to the curb!

But, what is more important is how this experience is making YOU feel.

As Marty said, don't let this jerk define who you are, it is HIS loss. Remember how your husband felt about you? There were reasons he loved you so much, because you are a very special person. Beautiful, Kind and Loving...don't waste a minute allowing that idiot to bring question to that.

I'm w/o my loving husband now for 2 years, and know that one of the reasons I haven't even considered dating yet is because I would be looking to him(whomever that would be) for validation. I'm still too "broken". Fragile, that's a good way to describe me right now.

And knowing that about myself, I wouldn't risk any further damage just yet, I still need to mend these pieces.

Think to yourself for a moment. If the loss of your husband had not been a part of your life, (reach here...imagine if you had been single for example),

would you have been affected by this idiot's comment?

My point is, you're still fragile..don't allow this jerk to do any further damage.

I believe that Love finds us, when it's time. Don't be discouraged by some guy that so obviously isn't worthy of you.

(((((Hugs))))) to you,

Barb

Guest moparlicious
Posted

Mrs Charley and everyone else who responded Thank you very much for your support and for making me feel loved and special, my "friends" , will never know what I really go through every day. I am so glad to have my true and dear friends on HOV and although I have never meet any of you personally, I feel like I have known you all my life and I am blessed to have you all in my life. I mean it when I say I truly love every one of you from the bottom of my heart!!!!!!

Derek,

Thank you my dear dear friend for being there for me when I was really down in out!!!!!! Love, Kim

Posted

Just a thought.....

Maybe you could text back and say....

"I'm sorry, could you remind me again which one you are so I can mark you off my list?"

Posted

Kim,

I am curious to know how you met this person, your experience would probably help others to learn what to be careful of. You say you have been dating him, was this the first time he met you in person? Sounds like a cop out to me and not only do you have to learn from this unfortunate experience but this person has alot of insecurities and took them out on you, sometimes people have to put others down to make themselves feel better. This should show you that it is entirely too soon for you to be seeing anyone and what type of creeps are out there. Hold your head up and don't listen to what he said to you, what a....horrible person !

Love,

Wendy :wub:

Guest moparlicious
Posted

Wendy,

I met this good catch, through a so called friend, everyone always playing matchmaker. I agree I am not going to be set up or go out on any more lovely dates. I am going to accept being single, enjoying life and prepare for my new adventure of life. I am moving in March or April, I take my boards for pharm tech in Dec. and like words for my dear dear true friend Derek said, "Everyone is different, but wait 2 years, and being single is that bad." Don't get me wrong I am lonely and would love to have a good man to watch a movie with, play basketball with me, walk in the park, but when the time is right I will find him. Thanks for your loving support, you know I love you with all my heart!!! Love, KIm

Posted

Oh our dear sweet Kim, you are BEAUTIFUL! And you are not only beautiful, you are smart and courageous! Do not let any shallow jerk define who you are! Thank God he showed his colors before any more time was wasted on him! You listen to us here who know you and love you, you deserve nothing less than someone very special, and for that, it is worth waiting for. Continue to make friends and enjoy their companionship...you do not need a man in your life to complete you or show your worth...you are complete and worthwhile already. Enjoy friendships of both genders and let life take its natural course. I am so mad at this jerk I could spit! He is lucky you don't give me his address so I could visit him with my pink lady, ha! (I'm just kidding...I recently learned to shoot a revolver, just target practice for fun...being as I'm a redneck in the country). :P I want to wrap my arms around you and give you a big hug!

Love,

KayC

Guest moparlicious
Posted

My sweet KayC,

Everyone on this site has shown me, there is more to life and he was a complete jack*** that would even be putting down that pour animal, ha ha. I have my family, my army and my true and loyal friends here who are always here for me no matter what. Thank you for the virtual hugs I will be walking around all day in your comforting arms!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love, Kim

Posted

Hi Kim,

I just have to add my two cents worth. I know first hand how down we all feel already without butt-heads like that making it worse. Try not to give the guy another thought. He obviously doesn't deserve you. Anyone who would for any reason say such a thing to woman is not much of a man to start with.

Posted

Hey Kim,

Yeah! Yeah! Whatta butt-head, doesn't deserve you, and not much of a man!

Your friend, Karen :wub::wub: I know it's silly, but print this whole thing out and send it to him with a thank you card....Butt-head!

Guest moparlicious
Posted

Art and Karen,

When I read your posts I laughed and laughed. So cute, I love you guys. Even though tonight is not good(The Giants LOST) I still was able to come here and find my true friends and my family, I laughed out loud in my room, thank you for that. My silly dogs are now looking at their owner and wondering (I think) who is the silly one. Brilliant idea. But Karen, does that mean I actually have to kill a tree for such a loser????? Ahhhhh such a waste, lol. Love, Kim

Posted

Kim,

Please know I am not laughing at what happened to you, I am not...but when I read Karen's post I too laughed out loud. Something about Karen calling someone a butt-head was just too funny. I had read your post ealier and could not come up with a word strong enough to describe a man like that, someone so cruel, but when I read Karen's post, she had the perfect name for him! He is not worth another thought...or even a tree for the paper! You are a strong,strong caring person, I am glad you will not let this man bring you down.

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