kayc

My daughter lost her baby

16 posts in this topic

My daughter and son-in-law have been together for 16 1/2 years, married for 7 1/2, and at Christmas happily announced they were going to be parents.  They've tried for years.  We were so happy for them!  Yesterday, as my son and his wife had their baby son born, I learned that my daughter lost theirs a few weeks ago.  She's been avoiding us because she can't handle the emotion.  I wish I could put my arms around her, but I can't even talk to her.  My heart is heavy, I am broken hearted for them.  She's almost 35 and this was her first.  Her husband wanted this child every bit as much as her, he's always wanted to be a dad.  :(

I'm sick to my stomach with grief.  I don't want to be around people.  All I want is to hold my daughter and I can't even see her.  I feel mourning every bit as deep as when I went through it.  Maybe worse because this is my daughter and I can't help her.

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Oh, Kay, I am so very sorry that your daughter lost the baby. I cannot even imagine the pain you must be going through. I am here for you as are all of us. Lean on us when you need to and we will be here to listen to you. You are such a caring and gentle person that I wish I could hug you and assure you that we care deeply for you as you have cared for so many of us who come here. I am so sorry. 

Anne

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Kay, my dear, my heart hurts for you, and as a mother I know that nothing hurts as much as when your child is in pain. As a grandmother, yours is a double grief, as you suffer the loss of your grandbaby and endure your daughter's sorrow too. My younger son and daughter-in-law suffered with infertility and failed attempts at IVF over 14 years of marriage, while my older son and his wife got pregnant immediately and had two healthy babies within their first two years together ~ so I know first-hand how hard it is to feel joy for one child and unbearable sadness for the other, both at the same time. It is the very definition of agony. I am so sorry.   

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Thank you.  I tried to hold it in as I visited with my son and DIL and their newborn baby yesterday, but the rest of the day and since has been in grief.  It's overwhelmed me with its intensity and my feelings of helplessness and sorrow.

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I understand, Kay. Even as you shout with joy for baby Vincent and his parents, your daughter, your son-in-law and your should-have-been grandbaby deserve all that sorrow you're feeling, and so do you.

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I'm so sorry KayC

I really can't imagine your pain.  Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

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You are in my thoughts Kay and sending hugs and prayers to all of you.

Joyce

 

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11 hours ago, kayc said:

My daughter and son-in-law have been together for 16 1/2 years, married for 7 1/2, and at Christmas happily announced they were going to be parents.  They've tried for years.  We were so happy for them!  Yesterday, as my son and his wife had their baby son born, I learned that my daughter lost theirs a few weeks ago.  She's been avoiding us because she can't handle the emotion.  I wish I could put my arms around her, but I can't even talk to her.  My heart is heavy, I am broken hearted for them.  She's almost 35 and this was her first.  Her husband wanted this child every bit as much as her, he's always wanted to be a dad.  :(

I'm sick to my stomach with grief.  I don't want to be around people.  All I want is to hold my daughter and I can't even see her.  I feel mourning every bit as deep as when I went through it.  Maybe worse because this is my daughter and I can't help her.

My heartfelt prayers and condolences for you KayC and your daughter and husband.  A mother's love for her children is mighty to contend with.  I'm sending you hugs and will continue to pray and intercede for you and your family. You have helped so many of us and we will be with you in this season of grief. God grant you comfort, peace and Love in His Grace. - Shalom,George

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I already expressed myself elsewhere Kay, but again, I am so sorry for you and your daughter.  I wish there were more I could do, but a hug is all I can offer.   (((Hug)))

Herc

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I'm so sorry Kay. My condolences. this grief family embraces you with confort and love. Hugs. 

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I wrote her a letter and emailed it to her.  I haven't heard back from her, not sure if she even read it.  I will give her her space now, and text her before my son's open house (his bdy) to see if she wants to come with me.  If I don't hear from her, I'll go alone.  And then I'll have to give her time.

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Oh, Kay,

I just saw this post and I'm so very sorry this has happened. I understand the helpless feeling you have. We always want to "kiss it and make it better", but sometimes it is just not possible. My daughter lost her first baby also, due to an overbearing Mother-In-Law. I would gladly have killed the woman at the time.

I truly hope your daughter reaches out to you.

Sending hugs and love.

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Kay I am so sorry to read about your daughter and her tragic loss.  How very hard for her and you too.  You're in my thoughts.

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Sorry to hear this Kay, my thoughts are with you. Did you hear back from your daughter after you sent the email?

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I found out she doesn't have access to email.  I haven't talked to her since Easter (she doesn't answer) but have received a couple of texts from her.  Two days before Easter, her husband left her.  They've been together since 2000, she is really hurting.

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