iPraiseHim

Yesterday was an interesting day! I called her to wish her a happy birthday and her 30 minute conversation put me late to work. I hit heavy traffic so arrived later than I planned. Then my client (who hardly ever talks) was bending my ear for another twenty minutes... Then I received several phone calls, vacuum broke ( I brought a spare). So I finished up an hour later than usual. I stopped by a friend's work for a short visit ( and hugs) and she decided to fix me a KETO meal for my birthday. It was delicious... My car inspection is due this month and I wasn't able to get it inspected on Wednesday. As I was driving to Planet Fitness, I got a prompting to just stop by the car inspection shop and see when would be the best time to come on Thursday. Timing was perfect! They inspected the van, fixed a minor issue and it passed with no additional charge. It has freed up this morning.. I felt like I won the inspection lottery. While waiting for the inspection I spoke with another fella who has diabetes and loves airplanes. His conversation got me stirred up to pursue my dream of flying.... he seemed interested in the low carb lifestyle to combat diabetes. The state inspector remembered me and commented that I had lost a lot of weight!. I shared KETO, IR(Insulin Resistance), and how to keep from getting diabetes. He was intensely interested. I thanked him for his work ( and tipped). You never know how a day is going to turn out. Today is another hot day (95) and it is 87 in the home right now. However I have a cool bedroom and bathroom thanks to a window air conditioner and God's Grace. Work continue's to pick up... I have another estimate for work this afternoon. I just keep pressing forward to the mark. 😊 - Shalom

I completely understand. Things break, stop working, and it feels like a piece of them is slipping away. However, I know that they memories are always in my heart. Gorilla duct tape is great for most things but won't fix a broken heart. - Shalom

Today is my birthday and I am having a good day. I worked this morning and took off this afternoon to enjoy some rest and relaxation. This is a new experience that I am accepting as it is. Work scheduled tomorrow and all of next week. I take each day as it comes. My sister called on Wednesday to ask if I still plan to follow "This KETO Diet thing?" I told her, that after two years, this is the best I have felt and I enjoy this way of eating and living. So YES! I plan to eat this way for the foreseeable future. She didn't understand.... Oh yeah, she wants me to sit with DAD again...on June 6th her husband has another foot surgery scheduled. My work schedule is very busy so I'll see what I can do. - Shalom

This time of year, our city has a Jubilee festival with a beautiful fireworks display in the evening. This happened tonight and I stood outside my home watching it and remembering the last time Rose Anne and I watched it together. I oohed and awed just like we did before while being bitten by mosquitoes. Tonight, she didn't get bitten. - Shalom

Today is my wife, Rose Anne's, Birthday. I woke up melancholy and blue. This is the fifth birthday she is celebrating in heaven. I really miss her today. I continued a tradition we started years ago. I bought a meal ( non-KETO) and thoroughly enjoyed it with her. I am reminiscing about our life together. The meal tasted good but it is just not the same as being together and present. Happy Birthday, my love. - Shalom

I joined Planet Fitness $0 Down $10 month five months ago After not going to a gym for 40 years. I have an active physical job but discovered that weight resistance training would help with my IR (Insulin Resistance). I started out slow and asked their trainer to develop a personal fitness goal for me. At first, I was so disappointed at how out of shape I was. I had always planned to "exercise at home but never got around to it. I have progressed in five months from very minimal to now hitting most of my Initial goals. I could only do 3 sets of 5 WALL Pushups to now 3 sets of 30 Knee pushups at 1 foot off the floor. I could only do 3 sets of five Squats to now up to 31 squats, 3 sets. All of my weight resistance weights have improved as well. I am even doing HIIT(High Intensity Interval Training) Elliptical Cardio for 20 minutes. I continue to slowly push myself for better strength, endurance, and stamina. Start slow and find your path. I still talk to my wife. It gives me comfort and peace. - Shalom

Katie, You struggle because so much has happened to you and your family and your world is ripped apart. You are human and none of us could withstand it on our own. Medication and therapy helps. I and many other people here pray and intercede for you daily. You are never alone. I understand the difficulty in just breathing at times as I went through that when my wife died... many others experience this as well. My Prayers are real simple.. "Lord help me!" God loves you (as his child) just like you love your children. I feel so alone in the way I feel too!. It is a part of this grief. You are not alone. Continuing prayers for you Katie. -George - Shalom (The Supernatural Peace of God be with you)

Hello George P, It has been four years since my wife died and my wife's name is still on the business and personal checks. Most of the checks written are electronic bill-pay now anyway except for the tax man. I cook most of my meals in an air-fryer and an electric pressure cooker (like an Instant pot), I keep my meals simple, easy to make and delicious. I transitioned to eating from fast food/convenience foods to cooking real foods two years ago. The grief waves will come and go for no particular reason. It is important to get plenty of good sleep, eat healthy, drink clean water , and continue to move (exercise). This is a great place to hang out learn, share, and help each other. These people understand how to deal with this grief, offer tools, help, and love to listen. George is a good name... 😊 - George... Shalom

I agree! George is a good name. 😊

Reading your story, I can so relate to your pain and grief. This group and wonderful people here listened and understood when I couldn't grasp exactly what happened to my beloved wife. The Shock and Awe of her sudden death rocked me to the core. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. and had trouble just breathing. It's been four years now and life after has never been the same. this place helped me to sort out life and learn tools to deal with this grief and healing journey. MartyT, has some great resources here that really help and all these wonderful people listen, care, and share. You are not alone for all of us here understand your grief and learning to cope with this afterlife. Welcome to the group that nobody wants to join yet we are drawn together with this common bond. {{{Hugs}}} - George - Shalom

Yes. The same with me. This is my fifth trip around the calendar without my beloved, Rose Anne. I have been attempting to just focus on the "Here and Now". Thoughts, memories, feelings, still come and go for no apparent rhyme or reason. I try my best to just feel them instead of all of the other bad coping strategies I have tried before. My Happiness/Joy seems to be at least half or less than before when we were together. I cherished each day then and the good memories sustain me now. I work, I continue to optimize my health, eating, exercise, etc.. The loneliness and physical separation is the toughest part of this journey. I miss the natural feedback of knowing she love me as I am faults and everything. We were the same age. She was one week older. I still miss her daily. - Shalom

Remembering my Mom today. It was her Birthday and I miss not being able to surprise her and show here how much I love her. She taught me everything. The love of reading, playing, learning and just having fun. She made us feel special and taught me how to take care of myself. (Cooking, cleaning, ironing, washing.drying, folding, sewing, crocheting, knitting, canning, etc...) Sweet precious memories of a simpler life. Happy Birthday, MOM. I love you! - Shalom

This is great news about your son's health. Praying for your surgery and healing. - Shalom

I have been very busy with much needed work and business growth. I'm still following Ketogenic living (23 months now) and getting healthier. Today I will hit a new milestone as I attempt to complete 3 sets of 30 leg squats in my normal physical exercise routine. I continue to keep progressing to stronger and healthier ways to eat, move, and live. This is my fifth time around the calendar without my beloved Rose Anne. I am focusing this trip to be really engaged in the NOW(today) and learning to evaluate how much my FEELINGS are tied to my thoughts and actions. Feelings are not good or bad but how my brain see them can color my day. I woke up yesterday and today more melancholy than usual. I realize that 31 years ago today is the wonderful day that I first met my beloved Rose Anne. It rocked and changed my world. I till miss her every day. I don't think that will every change. I have learned not to stuff,hide, eat, etc.. over these feelings. I just let them come and then release them. It is all a part of life. The dynamics of my native family has deteriorated and I am just learning to accept it as it is. My sister called again as she needs me to help her with her plans. She gets passive aggressive when things don't work out according to "her" plan. She can own her own feelings. I chose to disconnect and distance myself from that drama. I did have a wonderful conversation with my Dad on Tuesday and he is doing much better. May is a challenging month with lots of wonderful memories and sadness. Such is life. One day at a time... marching forward to the mark. - Shalom

My beloved wife, Rose Anne, died February 16th, 2015. And yes the third year hit me very hard as well. We were married 25 years and the loneliness and separation from my beloved wife is still difficult to bear. This is my fifth trip around the calendar without her and I am gradually learning to just live in the now and accept life as it comes. I function but it seems to me dimly compared to my past life with her. I still operate a business and try to help other people with Diabetes to learn the truth about the disease and that there is hope and healing. Grief and healing is a part of this process of life and the price we pay for having such a wonderful loving marriage and friendship. I just take this journey one day at a time and strive to make the best out of each day, count my blessings, and strive to push forward to the mark. - Shalom

Welcome and glad you found this special place. People here listen, understand. and share in your grief. Please share as you are able as I find it really helps me to get the thoughts swirling out of my head and expressed. We are the ones left here to stay awhile longer as we finish our mission and purpose on this side of life. Praying you find the peace, grace, and comfort, to adjust to this phase of life. We all have a purpose and plan. This grief is another form of love expression for your beloved husband. - Shalom

11 years ago, I watched my Mom take her last breath. She was the first person I had seen die. I understand the shock of it. People say weird things thinking they are trying to help you but they are really just comforting themselves. It's probably what other people have told them. Unfortunately, there is much that is not in our control and bed things happen. It took me awhile to get that image out of my head. I hope you have a grief counselor or trusted friend who can listen and help you to deal with this. My prayers are for you, Kayla. {{{ HUGS }}} - Shalom

My wife died, just two days after Valentine's Day. I had proposed to her on Valentine's Day. Grief is not something I could figure out logically. I went through all of the "what if" and "If only" and tried to figure out some way to blame myself for her death. There are things out of our control and death is one of them. It took awhile, but it helps me to remember all of the good qualities, love, and compassion, my beloved wife, Rose Anne, shared with me. She loved me just as I am warts and all. Your thoughts and feelings are all normal and similar to what I and several others have gone through. Grief is another form of love expression for your beloved wife. None of us were prepared for this journey when we had to suddenly deal with it. Thankfully, this is a safe haven to express these thoughts, feelings, and learn how to deal with them. - Shalom

Johnny, I completely understand your post and devastating pain and grief. I found this special place where people understand this side of grief. Those of us who are left behind to stay and live without your beloved spouse. I was in Shock and AWE for quite awhile. I came here to listen, learn, and find out how to cope, manage, and deal with all of this! I came home from work to find my beloved wife dead. No warning. Sudden loss. This place listened to my story, share my pain, and comforted me. This is not something we get over and just move on. Few people truly understand this grief and pain. We are blessed to have MartyT, who helps us along with many others here. This place helped me in this deepest and darkest time. I couldm't sleep, couldn't eat, and had trouble just breathing at times. Seek a grief counselor or pastor that understands what you are going through. Please know that we understand, know, and care about you. My wife died four years ago, and I still deal with this grief and healing every day. We are all here to listen, help, share, learn, and be there for each other. As Mitch said, do your best to take care of yourself. This grief/loss takes a lot of energy and you will need to be kind to yourself. Thank you for sharing with us. I will begin praying and interceding for you. Please come back often and share whatever you feel you need. I find it helpful to get those swirling thoughts written down so I can sort them out. - George - Shalom

In my feistier moments, i will answer, "Do you REALLY want to know or are you just being polite? I find it is a habit, just like a handshake or nod. There is usually no real meaning or intent behind it. - Shalom

Yesterday, I went to a funeral/praise service of a longtime friend. I caught up with several people that i haven't seen in a long time. I prefer to not go to them but I do to honor and respect the family. I was not triggered by grief or the great quantities of treats that I used to eat. It was just about gathering with friends and listening to each other. It was a peaceful and solemn day. - Shalom

Dewayne, My wife of 25 years also passed away from complications of diabetes. I comprehend and empathize with your pain and grief. My wife died four years ago (February 16, 2015). I was in SHOCK and AWE for a very long time. This group was instrumental in helping me understand and deal with this grief by listening, caring, and sharing. You are welcome to look up my posts, Shock and Awe, because, like you, I was trying to make sense out of it. We were inseparable until that fateful day. Deep love results in deep grief for the surviving partner (US). You, me, and everyone who comes here. Welcome to our family. - George - Shalom

Podcasts are audio episodes about various topics. I have a smart phone. the app is iTunes. And i listen to about 10 different shows with a variety of topics. You can also view many of them on YouTube and learn just about anything you want to learn. KETO, Weight resistance training, Comic (Chad Prather), Two KetoDudes, Dave Ramsey, Clark Howard, etc... Thanks. 😎 - Shalom

Thank you. kayc. I went to my chiropractor for an adjustment and he is so amazed at my progress. I have been seeing him for ten years. He tells me I need to write a book? Then he tells me about this guy he helped twenty years ago and how now he is a successful pod-caster, publisher , and great generous guy. Small world. Come to find out I found his work early on this KETO journey and follow his work, listen to his podcasts. We have met several times and his genuine. My prayers are being answered with an increasing workload. Amen. - Shalom

My sister asked me to clear my schedule so I could watch Dad while her husband is having foot surgery scheduled for tomorrow, Tuesday, March 12. I have not heard from my sister since I stayed with Dad a couple of weeks ago. Since then business has picked up and I have several new clients. One of them needs to be cleaned on the same day because of their schedule.... so I was dreading to make the call to my sister. I have always managed to help somehow. So I called her last night, Sunday, at 7pm. She tells me of all the stuff she has been through. She had to put her cat to sleep because of massive cancer in her abdomen on Thursday. She never bothered to call me. This hit me hard because another friend of mine dog (sheltie) was accidentally run over backing up and perished. Then she proceeds to tell me that her husband's scheduled surgery was CANCELLED on FRIDAY because his blood pressure is too high. She never bothered to call me at all. When I asked her why, she just said, " I am just so busy and stressed out." As my Mom says, " I am as mad as a hornets nest". Isn't that just wonderful. I had a terrible nightmare last must be because of all this. I forgive her but it will be harder to forget about this. On a brighter note, my physical exercise routine is improving (allowing more time for muscle recovery and healing) and I continue to shed more excess inches and fat as I fine tune what I am eating. I am looking forward to having more work and staying busier to grow my business. Keep pressing forward. - Shalom