iPraiseHim

My sister asked me to clear my schedule so I could watch Dad while her husband is having foot surgery scheduled for tomorrow, Tuesday, March 12. I have not heard from my sister since I stayed with Dad a couple of weeks ago. Since then business has picked up and I have several new clients. One of them needs to be cleaned on the same day because of their schedule.... so I was dreading to make the call to my sister. I have always managed to help somehow. So I called her last night, Sunday, at 7pm. She tells me of all the stuff she has been through. She had to put her cat to sleep because of massive cancer in her abdomen on Thursday. She never bothered to call me. This hit me hard because another friend of mine dog (sheltie) was accidentally run over backing up and perished. Then she proceeds to tell me that her husband's scheduled surgery was CANCELLED on FRIDAY because his blood pressure is too high. She never bothered to call me at all. When I asked her why, she just said, " I am just so busy and stressed out." As my Mom says, " I am as mad as a hornets nest". Isn't that just wonderful. I had a terrible nightmare last must be because of all this. I forgive her but it will be harder to forget about this. On a brighter note, my physical exercise routine is improving (allowing more time for muscle recovery and healing) and I continue to shed more excess inches and fat as I fine tune what I am eating. I am looking forward to having more work and staying busier to grow my business. Keep pressing forward. - Shalom

Yes, I agree. My FEELINGS sometimes puts me places I don't want to go. I FELT like I gain weight because I ate some higher carbs(Pinto beans which I dearly enjoyed). The scale said down two lbs. I have lots more examples where "FEELINGS are not ALWAYS FACTS but when I study them they will reveal truth. Don't allow those feelings to dwell and clutter your mind. One of the reasons, I check in here daily is to hopefully listen, learn, and provide encouragement to other as it was given to me in the early INTENSE grief. Other people listened to my rambling anguish, grief, and pain. It helped me to get through, to learn, that I am not alone in this grief, and with the tools, books, articles, posts, etc... I would find ways to deal with this grief and heal as well. I was never normal before so how could I expect it now. As Darrell, says," It simply putting one foot in front of the other. Never give up, give in or just quit life. It is a precious gift as each of us knows since we were able to share quality life with our beloved. Hold on, Hang on, pull up, get up. And if you are not able reach out to get the help you need to proceed in this journey. {{{ HUGS }}} - Shalom

Thank you. I have come to realize that all of the talking and discussing just falls on deaf ears. She hears only what she chooses to hear that fits her world and agenda. Her husband has another Foot surgery scheduled for March 12 and as she says." we need to stick together to help each other". She said she would be home by 10 pm and wasn't home until 11pm. My Dad is doing well and we had some good conversations. - Shalom

Four years and grief still hits me and I cry as well. It is part of life now. We have suffered loss and it still hurts. My heart and prayers are with you. - Shalom

After 56 days, my sister called because she needs my help. She has a wake that she wants to attend tomorrow evening. She wants me at her home by 5:30pm and doesn't plan to get back home until 10pm. She said I could call anytime but I would need to leave a message because they don't answer their phone. - Shalom

Checking in. Still here and kicking. February is a rough month for me memory wise. Skin Hunger... oh yea.. I almost forgot about that. I had a few visits with a good friend and we shared some meals together, met at church, and a few visits. I gave his german shepherd dog a monkey that I kept after our beloved collie died six years ago. He loves that thing and plays with it so gently. He loves that monkey and I was glad to give it a good home. I have been going to the gym for almost three months and getting fitter and stronger. I'm still sore all the time and have a few setbacks but I keep plugging along. Business is slower than I would like. I had a physical setback but i'm managing to cope with it. My sister has not bothered to call since January 1st... I guess she will call the next time she needs me. I do keep active and I'm always learning something new. We have a lot of rain and some cold snaps but thankfully no snow to shovel. One step forward each day. - Shalom

Yes. This is the group that no one wants to join because it means deep and profound loss and grief. Other people judge us based on their perceptions and understanding in their world view. Feelings are neither right or wrong. They are just that feelings. However, I have come to learn that they are not always FACTS but when closely examined they will let me to my TRUTH. It is very individual yet comforting to know that there are other people (here) who know and understand our journey. We are all learning how to survive and live with this grief and healing. I am learning to let go of others expectations of me and even of myself and just deal with each day as it comes. One day at a time. Good sleep hygiene, healthier eating, and movement(exercise) all help. Most of all this sanctuary here where we can listen, share, and care for each other. {{{ HUGS }}} - Shalom

Katie, Please know that your feelings are not stupid. Feelings are just that. I can melt down from anything that reminds me of my beloved wife. Grief is the expression you have for your Allen that is difficult to express to him now. I still have those moments now. I was in such shock of my wife's death that it took me a long time to just learn to breath, sleep, and just hold on. This intensity of pain will eventually lessen. This group is a great help to me and many others here who love and care about you. - Shalom

Happy Birthday, Darrel. Shalom

I'm okay. I had a good cry at 5:01pm. My sister has not called, texted, or contacted me since January 1st. It still hurts that she only calls when Dad is sick or she needs something from me. Yet she says that FAMILY is the most important thing and that we all have to stick together... Yeah... right. I went to church and had a meal out with a friend this afternoon so it has been a good day. Thank you and everyone here for caring. - Shalom

Four years ago today, I was returning home from work and it was snowing. I lost control of my car and spun out coming off of the exit ramp. I was going to tell my wife about my exciting adventure getting home only to discover she had died earlier. It took me a couple of weeks to find this group. The Shock and Awe of it all has eventually wore off and this wonderful group listened, shared, and cared from the start. At first, I could hardly breath, eat or sleep. It has been a long weary path. Life is definitely different now. I am striving to remember all of the great life memories we shared together and to learn from this grief healing journey. I thank everyone here who helps each other through this process. We are all still learning. - Shalom

Oops! 60's today, 70's tomorrow. Then dropping back down in the 40's for the weekend. I'm 20 miles from the Atlantic ocean though. Thankful for no snow or extreme cold... praying for you Kayc. Shalom

I can so relate. I have seen several hospice cases in my life and I do not have a good opinion about the program at all.😨 My continual burn is the fact of how doctors treat Type 2 Diabetes patients. I asked plenty of questions and never did get sound answers as to why the doctors treat the SYMPTOM of Diabetes( Blood sugars) and not determine the ROOT CAUSE to stop and prevent the disease. It NEVER made sense to me WHY the doctor would treat INSULIN RESISTANCE(Diabetes) with more INSULIN. I asked the doctors and all they would tell me is "this is how we MANAGE the disease." In their Rx world that is their only treatment. But we trusted the doctors because they are TRAINED and KNOWLEDGEABLE about disease. WRONG! Doctors are GREAT for ACUTE TRAUMA but for chronic diseases there are usually better more natural alternatives. So my MISSION is to share with "everyone who will hear" that there is a healthier way to heal and recover. Many people are INSULIN RESISTANT and are never tested or even aware of it. I wasn't! It is the early stage of type 2 Diabetes. A simple FASTING blood INSULIN TEST and you can discover where you are. The doctors used to believe that OBESITY leads to Diabetes when in fact it is INSULIN RESISTANCE which causes inflammation and can lead to Obesity. Shalom

Thank you, Kayc, Valentines Day was very special to us since I proposed to Rose Anne on Valentine's Day and we planned to get married one year later. That was changed to December 9th, because we later decided that we wanted to be married before we bought our home. On our last Valentine's Day together that we celebrated was a wonderful weekend of remembering and enjoying all of the special times we shared. It was such a blessed time... I had no hint or inclination that she would suddenly die just two days later while I was away at work. It was such a shock to find her. Now, four years later, the shock and awe has finally wore off and I have learned to accept and deal with each day as it comes (most of the time). I still have my moments of grief, and pain. Life is very different now. I still get aggravated by all of the commercialism of Valentine's Day, yet I cherish that we were able to celebrate 25 years of incredible love for each other every day we were together. I plan to be busy working or doing something to keep myself busy as this too shall pass! - Shalom

Happy Birthday, Marty. Shalom

WOW! I would be nervous. Your son is a miracle worker! - Shalom

I was having some issues with my printer shutting off the power to my business computer when it printed. Initially, it was very intermittent so I just dealt with it. Then it happened when I turned on a lamp.. again intermittent. It was very annoying when I had more than one item to print since the computer did a complete power reboot. After some troubleshooting I discovered that it was actually my Line conditioner. APC backup power box. A new one cost $150. Then I remembered that this one has a replaceable battery that last about five years. I ordered the replacement battery for $25 and did the replacement and everything works fine again. It's so nice when a project works out without so many obstacles. This month will be four years (16th) since my beloved wife, Rose Anne, died. Her name is not said anymore except by me. I still tear up, I still miss her and always will. Life is much lonely, and solemn now. I still strive to be the best I can be but it still seems that i'm operating on limited power and low love energy. Life is just very different now. I am thankful she is not suffering anymore and is at rest. I was asked to help manage a Type 2 Diabetes group on Facebook and now I am able to share (to all who will listen) what I have learned about this disease. There is hope and recovery for people diagnosed. Although I can not changed or save my wife, I am able to help others. I continue to exercise and build my strength, balance, and endurance daily. I continue to follow the Ketogenic protocol for food and healthy living and regaining my health. Find your path... Your reason to continue this journey of Grief and healing. - Shalom

Here is a list: Low Carb Keto Dessert Recipes A rich and delicious keto chocolate cake. Completely flourless. CourseDessert CuisineGeneral Servings Prep Time 8 Slices 15 Minutes Cook Time Passive Time 45 Minutes 10 Minutes Ingredients 200 Grams (10oz) Dark Chocolate (85% or Higher) I use Lindt 85% 100 Grams (5oz) Butter cubed 100 ml (3.5oz) Cream 4 Eggs separated 4 Tbsp Swerve ( can find at Walmart and Amazon) Servings: Slices Units: Instructions Butter an 8’ cake tin Break the chocolate into even pieces. Add the butter and microwave in short bursts till the chocolate is melted. You can also do this over a double boiler. Add the cream and Truvia and mix thoroughly. Add the egg yolks, one at a time, mixing until just combined. Whisk the egg whites separately with a pinch of salt just until stiff peaks form (careful, do not over beat). Fold the egg whites into the chocolate mixture in thirds gently until no white streaks remain. Bake at 160 C (325 F) for about 45 minutes or until the rest of the cake is set but the centre just jiggles. Bring to room temperature then chill for at least 4 hours before serving. This also freezes really well. Note: Don't worry if the chocolate mix looks like it's splitting when you add the cream, just continue to whisk it for a few more minutes and it will emulsify into this shiny, rich ganache. Recipe Notes Tips to Keep in Mind While Making the Keto Chocolate Cake You can use Bakers Chocolate , but do taste and adjust the sweetener accordingly, so your cake doesn’t become too bitter Don’t fret if the butter separates from the chocolate when you add the egg yolks! Use an electric whisk and mix for a good five to seven minutes until it comes together like a thick batter. If you’re really worried about it not emulsifying, just leave out the cream. You can whip it separately and top the cake with it. The keto chocolate cake will rise and deflate a bit after you take it out of the oven; this is perfectly normal. Use a spatula to fold the egg whites in and don’t beat it in with the whisk, as this will deflate the cake. For a chocolate-orange cake, add a bit of unsweetened orange extract or the zest of one orange into the chocolate mix before you fold in the egg whites. I hope this helps. - Shalom

Hi Daisy10, Thank you for sharing your feelings here. This is a safe place to vent and let go of them to people who truly understand and care. All of this is so fresh, raw and new to you. Your experience is complicated by the family dynamics and pressure placed upon you. All of the feelings you experience are a normal reaction to the sudden loss of your Dad. Give yourself credit for stepping up and doing what you could to help him and show him love where other family members just gave lip service. When my wife died, I was looking for some reason to blame myself for her death as that would somehow justify the loss. I felt much of the same feeling as you express. I was the caregiver for my beloved wife, the last six years of her life. I was in shock for a long time afterward. Please give yourself some grace and just allow these feelings to come and pass. One of the things I have learned on this grief healing journey is that "Feelings" are not always "Facts". By coming here, sharing my story , learning the tools to work through this grief, and just being here, helped me to get through this. We have a great group of people here that listen, care, and support each other. I am sad that you have to go through this but glad you found this place. Most people "out there" do not truly understand this type of grief. Be kind to yourself, rest,eat healthier, and just breathe. We get through this one moment, one hour, one day at a time. Please come back often so we can help you as many others have helped me in this group. {{{ HUGS }}} - Shalom

Here is a recipe for Low carb/KETO chocolate cake. I'll search for the German chocolate cake recipe. 😉

This has been an interesting week. I have been working out at the gym every day for the last two weeks. On Thursday, I worked out for an hour after working a long day. I pushed through my work out on Friday although I was extremely sore. Apparently it was too much as I could barely manage to move Saturday. I did work yesterday but my work speed had suffered due to the pain. I try and listen to my body but I just missed the signals. So I've decided to rest and let my body recover. Exercise like everything else in life is a learning process. Since my wife died from complications of Type 2 Diabetes, I have a heart for people with this diagnosis. Since we trusted that the doctor's were more educated about diabetes, we followed the doctor's standard of care advice.We were told that the disease can be managed but once you have it , then you will have it the rest of your life(which is not true). Then,19 months ago, I learned that I have Insulin Resistance (pre-diabetes) and this was the reason for my fat loss stall. I did extensive research and found the natural way to return my body to optimal health through the ketogenic protocol. I have come to learn there is a healthy and natural way to heal, correct, restore, and sometimes even reverse this disease process. This is the process the doctors used before the insulin drugs were developed. I also continue to learn many other ways to optimize my health. Last week, I was asked to be an administrator for Type 2 Diabetes Group. With permission, I am able to share with all who want to hear, the TRUTH about this disease, how it develops, and how to heal the body. The American Diabetes Association recognizes that this is another way to treat diabetes. My hope and prayer is to be able to share and help others that deal with this issue. Shalom

In my continuing quest to pursue my dream of becoming a pilot. I stepped way out of my comfort zone and joined the Planet Fitness Gym. After the first week of just trying different equipment, I scheduled a session with the fitness trainer to learn what is the basic level of fitness and exercise that everyone should be able to perform. I was so disappointed to find out that although I have a physical job that I am terribly unfit. After picking myself back up from that blow. You see I have Insulin Resistance and low thyroid function. I have lost 145+lbs and maintained that for the last six months. However, I still have excess fat. I tried several different bio-hacks to improve my health and I have improved my sleep hygiene, aligned with my natural circadian rhythms, supplement the needed vitamins and minerals the scale and body physique hasn't changed. I researched and discovered that by doing weight resistance training that this will reduce my Insulin Resistance and continue on my fat loss quest. I work out about an hour every other day along with my regular work. Last week, I got the UNUSUAL notion that my body wants to work out every day. I was shocked because in the past, exercise has been a four letter word. I redesigned my workout program again and now work out every day for about an hour. I see constant improvements in my strength, energy, and mood. i stay slightly sore all the time and I push it to my limit while not going over board. On the elliptical I could only go for five minutes i have gradually increased to 20 minute on level one and have no progressed to level two. (There are five levels) After I have reached that goal then I plan to do my own brand of HIIT (High Intensity Interval training) on the elliptical. I share all of these to give hope to everyone that there is always hope even when you feel like there is no hope. Just after my wife, Rose Anne died, I couldn't imagine living a day without her. It was not my choice in the matter because I am not in charge. I have learned some lessons along the way and continue on this grief healing path. I could imagine that my dream of wanting to learn to pilot a plane, lose 145+lbs of excess fat that i carried for over 20 years. or that I would be joining the gym and pursuing healthy fitness goals. It is never too late to start living today... One Day at a Time. - Shalom

Thank you for asking Gwen. It helps me to know that God is in charge (Sovereign) over everything. His word says that not even a bird falls from the sky without his knowledge and approval! and that we are worth more than many sparrows. The Faith that I have in God has been tested and proved to me. His word says that whey you seek God earnestly , then you will find him. It was hard for me to accept Rose Anne's death because it was not my plan. Many people get angry with God because life doesn't turn out the way they expected. God doesn't promise a perfect life. He promises us that He will never leave us or forsake us. This is where I learned that "FEELINGS are not always the FACTS!" but they do lead me to the truth. My faith and prayer is simple, " Lord help me". I realize that I am not the strongest and it is in my weakness that God can show His strength. Questioning about life, has led me to this understanding. SHALOM (God's Peace) is what sustains me through this and every trial. I still love and miss Rose Anne every day. We all learn how to cope with the trials and challenges of life. This place is a great haven to learn and understood by those around us here who love and deeply care for each other. My continuing prayer is that you will find what you are searching for and gain that PEACE no matter what trial you have to face. I still get scared, angry, sad, melancholy, etc. None of us is perfect because we rely on Christ for our salvation and redemption. We are all still sinners striving to sin less against God as we progress on our paths. We are all striving to learn, listen and follow. {{{ HUGS}}} 😉 Shalom

I have been thinking about the same thing about being alone as I get older. As you know, family dynamics have changed and I am no longer in the loop. We live in such interesting times. We were assured by our last President that NO ONE will be rationed out of medical care and services based on age, income, net worth, or ability to work and yet the FACTS are different than what we were promised. KayC, My prayers and thoughts are with you as you traverse this journey. Shalom

Before I met my wife, I was alone and lonely for many years. I tend to be an introvert and didn't really socialize. I wasn't a drinker or party animal and I fell into some real destructive eating behaviors as my way to cope with it. Through some counseling and getting out of my comfort zone, I learned to discover what are my interests. I prayed that God would give me Peace whether I was single or in a relationship. A few years later I met Rose Anne. Our friendship, love, and marriage lasted for almost 26 years. I cherished each day and know how blessed I am to find a mate that loved me as I was. Our love bond grew stronger every day. I don't know if that will happen again now but still I strive to be at PEACE with whatever circumstances life finds me. I will not settle for someone just to be in a relationship. My prayer is the same as before. To be content no matter the circumstances. Death can really suck the life out of you if you let it. Each day we need to choose "LIFE" even if it is not the life we dreamed or imagined it to be. There is a reason for this struggle and I'll be sharing what I have learned and I continue to learn on this grief healing journey. Shalom