brat#2

Gwen, thank you for actually putting my feelings into words. All the other relationships we have in life can't compare to the one we had with that special person we chose to completely give ourselves to and them to us. Joyce

Darrel, I have days like that too, where I want and wish to cry my heart out and instead I'm just angry with everything. As was said above, it's all part of this grief journey and it sucks. Hugs Joyce

Gin, I know exactly how you are feeling and you are right even though I'm at almost at 18 months, I have a hard time seeing more time without him. Hugs Joyce

No need to apologize, I understand, my safety valve blows out every couple of weeks!! Hugs Joyce

Kay, I talk to Dale all the time too.

I have an ongoing letter written to Dale that I started in the beginning and just keep adding to it. I haven't mail it to him, but it is saved on my computer and I also like to think that he has been reading it as I go along with it. Sometimes you do just need to talk to your best friend and the letter really helps me. Joyce

Amy, your new blog post is beautiful and so well said. Thank you for sharing. Joyce

Marita, I feel your pain and know how hard it is, wish I had some words of wisdom to give you to make it better, but know that you are not alone, we are here. Joyce

Darrel, unfortunately it is only natural for their last days to keep going through our mind. I think we feel if we could have done something different they might still be here. As far as hobbies and interests go, I did use to have hobbies that I would do when Dale was here, but now I don't find them appealing anymore, but I think that is part of grief, losing interest in things. I'm hoping that desire to do those things will come back some day. I don't know what kind of things you like to do, but I'm sure when the time is right for you, you will find a new interest and be able to pursue it. Nice picture, you both look so happy. Hugs Joyce

Oh so true, Kay Joyce

Mitch, nice to hear from you. I know this past week has been difficult for you, but you have made it through another one. Traditions are so hard, especially when they were done with your special person, but was glad to see that you still honored yours and Tammy's. I have a hard time doing the things that Dale and I traditionally did for any occasion, but maybe some day. Hugs to you Joyce

Karen, so sorry you having to go through this worry. Hope he gets to a doctor soon and will be able to put your mind at ease. You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you hugs Joyce

That's beautiful Steve, I love that idea, except I wear Dale's wedding band 24/7 right next to mine. Joyce

Mitch, wish I had some words to help you get through this, but like the rest of us I don't, other than hold on. Sending you hugs Joyce

Happy Birthday Steve. Wishing you a day of peace and comfort. Hugs Joyce

I can't listen to music yet either, it was such a big part of our life and we would listen to everything, so there's not much out there that doesn't put me in tears. I can look at pictures, sometimes that hurts too, but most of the time I just remember what we were doing and the joy that we had doing it. Joyce

George, wedding anniversary is so hard when they are not here. That day was such a happy, wonderful day and I know how hard it is to remember it when they are not here to remember it with you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Joyce

So true Cookie, this is so hard. Hugs Joyce

Oh how true all this is. Dale was so good at coming up with great one liners for everything or new words for something, I do sure miss that. I feel and hope that we knew pretty much everything about each other, but I'm sure if we had more time, there would be things I didn't know. I know how difficult it feels knowing that you will never know more about your true love, it's just so sad. Joyce

Sorry I missed your birthday yesterday. I hope you had a nice day and found some joy. Joyce

Maryann, beautifully written and thank you for sharing and giving me hope that some day I might find some peace. Joyce

Gwen and Kay, you describe Dale and I exactly. He was the one that was the life of a party and always loved being social. I guess when it came to being social, my shyness (even though he helped take a lot of that away over the years) I too have a hard time making friends and most the time just don't bother. Joyce

Kevin, great news. Hope you have a good and quick recovery. Joyce

I'm so sorry you all had seen the changes that were made in your soulmates. I didn't really have that, not enough time for the treatments to really take their ugly side effects on Dale, the only thing was he did lose his hair, but truthfully he look good bald and didn't look that much different as his hair was so thin anyway and he always wore it pulled back. He never lost his beard or the spark in his eyes or his sense of humor. So in a way it was hard when he died because he didn't look sick! Even if he had, I would be like Gwen, and only see the man that I married and loved, which I'm sure all of you did too. That is probably why you couldn't see what the disease did to them and that is the way we should remember them, I know it is difficult sometimes not to think of the changes, but they wouldn't want you to think of them that way. Joyce

Gwen, Brad said it perfectly, that is the best we can hope for. Wish it would scab over soon for all of us. Hugs Joyce