kayc

Noon, loved your story about reuniting a lady with her dog! Nikki, never saw a dog in an outfit like that! And I get teased about my dog's purple coat! I've since customized it to fit him perfectly and be able to get it on/off him with ease, as it slid down too far on him, I've also added a collar to it so it covers his neck.

My dear fae, It's good to hear from you, and it lets me know how I can pray for you. You have had a lot on your plate, in addition to grieving. I hope the test results are good and you can have some much needed respite. As for the grief, I've learned to carry it with me. A part of me will always feel I'm missing much, I am. But I've learned to carry the sadness inside of me while still embracing what good there is in my life. Right now I'm going through a lot with Arlie and his medical situation. Was not prepared for this as he's just eight years old. Some days he does so well...today he is not. One day at a time, I'm doing my best with it. I hope you enjoy your needlepoint and pampering yourself!

I love your picture with Chyna, you can see the bond between you. I've never had a picture of Arlie and I together, I'd love one. Chyna has the most beautiful eyes!

Well I didn't think she was mean, just narrow minded and not a clue. But I too think it good that we can laugh at ourselves. Sometimes that's our best laughs!

I agree!

Mitch, that reminds me, years ago I had to do monthly commission reports for our sales office. One day one of them called long distance to find out if I was rounding up or down. I said, "What difference does it make, Greg? We're talking pennies here, and it's costing you more money than that to call and ask me about it!" It reminds me of the IRS spending 49 cents to mail someone a statement for 32 cents. It just doesn't make sense!

Margaret, at least you apologized when you DID know it was inappropriate, I've never had anyone apologize to me for the things they said.

She does look a lot like her! She had liver colored spots, she was 1/2 Whippet, 1/2 Dalmation. Tall, slender, very well trained & smart, so sweet. But she was scared of everything, we used to call her a Whimpet. A fried of ours had a Whippet that passed away while he was on his honeymoon, separation anxiety. Your letter sounds like a good idea, as well as everything you're doing to take care of yourself. It's when we grieve we often don't care about taking care of ourselves, and yet that's just when we need it the very most!

Tears are no measure of our love or our grief. In the beginning I cried way more than I now do, but now I've learned to carry my loss with me, inside of me, a continual realization of what and whom I am missing. I don't choose to share it with others much, unless talking to someone I know "gets it", a fellow widower. I know my family knows I continue to miss George, but I also don't think they have a clue what it feels to go around like this, nor would they unless they too experienced what I have...and I hope they don't have to. It is nothing guilt-worthy that prompts us from tears into carrying sadness inside, it is just what we learn to do, part of our survival. I don't think anyone COULD cry as much as they did at first...for the rest of their life, for their tears would cease to exist and their eyes would dry out long before those tears could be shed. It is a fact of our bodies and how they operate, and no reflection on us.

Mitch, my husband's family disappeared after his death too. So did our friends. I am truly alone. This is a time in which you need friends and yet it's the hardest time in which to make some. We are forever changed. After church yesterday, I came home and felt truly alone. Not a good feeling. My daughter did surprise me last night by calling, yet I never heard from my son. My kids have their own lives now and make their own plans. For me it's different. I posted elsewhere about this, feeling very alone. I almost think it'd be easier to stay home than go to church on Easter because to see the families together, see ladies wearing corsages, and know you are forgotten and uncared about, it's a very hard feeling. The truth is, no one in this world ever cared for me like George did and there is no replacing that. Others may care to a lesser degree, but it's a way lesser degree. Well, glad Easter is over!

JC, My husband passed on Father's Day, so by the time I'd endured my firsts without him...4th of July, Labor Day, my birthday, our anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day, and Easter started approaching, I major rebelled! I declared there be "No Easter!" that year and my kids were supportive of that. In spite of it always being one of my most important/favorite religious holidays, I stayed home and chose to totally ignore the day. The following weekend I had my kids up for dinner so they wouldn't feel they missed something, but no mention was made of Easter that year. I made it through all of the special days since, without him, but that first year was truly hard. My thoughts are with each of you new in this journey.

Bill, I'm glad you had some time with friends that share in missing her. I shall remember her name as one of my childhood friends was named Mary Kay. I named my daughter Melissa Kay and my friend Kay named her daughter Mandy Kay...us Kays have to stick together! Two months may be a short time in the scheme of things, but at the time it seems like the longest two months in the world, when you're grieving. My heart goes out to you.

I totally loved that, all of it! Thank you for sharing it with us.

Margaret, I don't remember ever saying that to anyone, but if I did, I hope they forgive me. It is important to remember that people mean well and to forgive them for not understanding. I do remember a lady at my church, just two weeks after George died, someone had asked me how I was and that's all it took...I burst into tears! This lady, in seeing my tears, said, "But you can't love George more than Jesus!" (Like one has anything to do with the other!)...to which I replied, "But Jesus is still here, and George isn't!" and my pastor, overhearing, agreed with me. It bothered me that she could say something so stupid. After all, what did she know, she STILL has her husband! And of course, she never had the marriage/relationship with her husband the way George & I did together. Of course people don't understand, they haven't been in our shoes!

David, I too echo what Marty said, I am so sorry you lost your mom and feel you are alone in this. You have this place to come to and express your grief and plenty of company here to listen and hear you. You were a good son to her and I'm sure she appreciated having you there for her. I know that I wish I could have my mom back for any length of time, just to spend time with, to do things for, just one more time. I am glad she no longer suffers but it does seem the suffering is transferred to us somehow when they pass. My best to you... Kay

Noon, My heart goes out to you in the loss of your precious little dog. I wish there were something I could say to help you feel better, but I know all too well the pain of losing a beloved pet, and feeling inconsolable. I also know the feeling of guilt of wishing I'd done this or that differently, or if only I had known! The truth is, we love our animals with all our hearts and would do anything we could for them...and none of us are blessed with hindsight ahead of time. If only we could have known something...but we didn't. We rely on vets to steer us in the way we should go, just as we rely on doctors for ourselves. But sometimes it's not an exact science, and sometimes they interpret things wrong, and sometimes they miss the boat and steer us wrong. I felt that way when I lost my 19 year old cat, King George. He was the best family cat one could ever have, a greeter, a lap cat, with a high opinion of himself, and aptly named KING George. And he suffered needlessly the last month of his life because the emergency vet I'd taken him too misdiagnosed him. Had I known how miserably sick he was, I would have had him euthanized a month sooner, eliminating at least that last month of suffering. But I didn't know. I can't change the past, but I know he forgives me, because that's the kind of cat he was, he knew I loved him, I knew he loved me...just as your little dog knows. It's not too late to tell her how you feel, to thank her for being the best little dog one could ever have, your companion and best friend. And assure her you'll be with her again and tell her she can romp and play with other dogs while she waits. I'm so sorry for your loss, I know what a gap they leave in our hearts when they leave before us.

BTW, this book is good not only for showing/receiving love for mates, but for ALL relationships. It's helped me understand my children better, etc.

Feeling the same way, Stephen. I went to our church's Easter breakfast, then worked in the office for an hour, then Sunday School & church, a business meeting, then home alone for Kale Soup. Tried calling my kids, no answer. It's a lonely day.

Amazon it is!

Mitch, I don't think you went insane, nor do I think you believe she'll wear it again, but more like you don't want anything to tarnish anything that was hers...you want to preserve every bit of her & the memory of her. And that is understandable. Some of it is our way of honoring them, by doing what we know they would have liked.

Unfortunately, what their family has endured has been going on for years, one thing after another. If ever a family needs lifted up in prayer, it is them!

I am very very confused about this post, Margaret. Is your son dead or alive?

A friend of mine, when she turned 60, collects $1686/mo. from her deceased EX-husband! Go figure. I was married 23 years and get nothing because he's alive. They were married 10 years I think. She said he made about $50/hour in AK, so not everyone will get that much.

Butch was up during the night & thanks you all for your prayers. Mom & Dad are spending all the time they can with their baby & he's caring for the boys. It's hard on all of them. Plus he's taking his son, Allen, to PT several days a week.

UPDATE: Gracie's heart is not fairing well with the RSV pneumonia. If her heart gets worse they will do a procedure of putting her on a bypass machine to oxygenate her blood better and hope to get the infection healed while relieving the heart failure. They will give her another day before deciding to do this. It's a drastic measure.She's going to come through this. She has to. She's almost four weeks old. Still tiny but mighty