My Sanity Needed Vents

[KarenK]

Hello to Joyce, Ana, and Dee! With the exception of our Ana, I guess the rest of us are just coping with physical ailments provided by our "golden" years.

Some good news for me. I saw the doctor about CT results. No abnormalities found and nothing that would contribute to my double vision. There is slight hardening of the arteries in the brain which are age appropriate. Doctor has prescribed cholesterol med as a stroke deterrent. All in all, I'm in pretty good shape for an old broad!

I see the ophthalmologist in 2 weeks to get his take on things. He couldn't figure it out last year.

[Gwenivere]

15 hours ago, Widow2015 said:

I just don't have much to say about my boring life.  My heart aches for you all who are struggling with physical pain and grief pain.  
 

  Thank you, Donna. MI don’t aknow to do about boring lives.  Mine  are so defined by having a defined routine day after day by so many limits.  Can’t get this post to cooperate so will try later today.  💕

[kayc]

Hi, Dee, good to hear from you again!  

Karen, they always go to statins yet I have to tell you bigpharma funded the study that came up with them, I've gone off of mine and have learned it's HDL and Triglycerides that matter and doing away with carbs made my insulin resistance go from 5.1 to 1.1 (they want you under 1.5-2) which is those numbers in equation. Butt then I'd stake my life on Keto, I've seen so many positive results from it, it's amazing!

You may find with the simple eye exercises I told you about you may be able to see fine, I went through it in 1993 and it's held ever since!  Praying that is so, the eye doctor will be the place to start, let us know what they say!  

Gwen, hope your day went okay!  Did you get the pain patch yet?

Kodie and I tried going to Jazzy's several times yesterday, they were just taking her to Dead Mountain to let her off leash, so they couldn't play.  Tried a couple of hours later, they came back without her, she wouldn't come.  Once more, they went to go get her again.  On our final walk down there they came back, had her but I knew she was in big trouble and it'd be straight to the kennel she'd go.

Kodie is better behaved but I'd never take him to Dead Mountain, way too much can happen, from vicious pack of dogs to cougars!  I need to protect him from what's out there, even a bald eagle could swoop him up!

 

[KarenK]

Thanks for your input, Kay. I've never had a cholesterol problem. No matter how fast you run, old age seems to catch up with a person.

I admire your willpower with your diet. My family and I would never do it, plus I really don't like to cook.

I'm just glad I don't have a brain tumor.

[MartyT]

1 hour ago, KarenK said:

I'm just glad I don't have a brain tumor.

And so are we, dear Karen! ❤️

[kayc]

2 hours ago, KarenK said:

I'm just glad I don't have a brain tumor.

Me too!  That must have been a relief to hear!

And it's not willpower, it was desperation incentive and it works.  I actually LOVE eating this way, totally!

[Widow2015]

21 hours ago, KarenK said:

Some good news for me. I saw the doctor about CT results. No abnormalities found and nothing that would contribute to my double vision.

Wonderful news, Karen!  Sorry the double vision is not any better though.  I totally understand your frustration not being able to drive due to vision problems.  Not feeling comfortable driving changes one's life considerably.  It's good your son is there with you.  Dee

[Margm]

That was great news.  My vision is starting to give me problems.  Guess I will have to have the cataract surgery.  Yes, I am a coward, for so many reasons.  

[KarenK]

Marg, don't feel bad. I was afraid too, but it turned out to be no big deal, especially the second one because you know what to expect. Distance vision is clearer and colors brighter. It just didn't correct the double vision.

[Gwenivere]

22 hours ago, kayc said:

Gwen, hope your day went okay!  Did you get the pain patch yet?

EI've been on pain patches for over 2 weeks now.  I got conflicting info about cutting the oxycodone between 2 providers.  One put me. In extreme withdrawal.  

That’s the truth!  In my mind I feel I can still do anything.  Then I get up and find I'm an old lady.  Even more so than many others mage.  It’s easy to be caught when you can’t really run anymore.  I was talking to my bath aide.today and she was telling me aboutt bed baths as this gets harder and harder.  Every night I go to bed thinking about the'good old days.  I have to decide evert night what side I want to wake up on.  Il will have get up once and change sides and which I want to wake up on. 
 

Speaking of which, I better get to it.  Mistakes in this aren’t here when I post.  Darned software changes itself.  💕

[Widow2015]

22 hours ago, Margm said:

My vision is starting to give me problems.  Guess I will have to have the cataract surgery.

Marg: Cataract surgery for me was a breeze and allowed me to continue driving although I still hesitate to drive too far.  There was no discomfort at all during or after surgery.  On the upside I find I don't have to wear my glasses so much except for distance and when I drive.  Like Karen said it made the world a brighter place.  My having ongoing eye injections for Macular Degeneration since 2016 probably lessened my fear of anything to do with a doctor poking around in my eyes replacing lenses.  Probably the worst part after the surgery was remembering to put the drops in.  Good luck.  Dee

[Margm]

17 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

In my mind I feel I can still do anything.  Then I get up and find I'm an old lady.

I was emptying all my wastepaper baskets, filling up the plastic bags and my "truck" (the wheel thing I use to take groceries in and trash out) caught my right foot.  I wonder if everyone thinks "this can't be happening" when they are falling.  Somehow, I managed to twist and fall on my back with my fluffy parts hitting the floor first.  I just lay there thinking, "well, this is the big one."  I was stuck between the hall wall and my "truck."  On my back.  I lay there assessing what hurt and actually it was only the skinned part of my left arm.  No sharp pains anywhere, but I had not moved yet.  So, I began to move everything and thanked the Lord again that I didn't weigh 90 pounds.  I side flipped (not really flipped, jut gingerly moved to my side.)  Nothing hurt.  Got to my knees, grabbed a hold of the door facing and fell again.  Getting up on two feet were my main objectives.  Somehow, I did.  My weight has been on my knee's way too long crawling.  As of tonight, I am sore.  No sharp pains anywhere.  I can walk, sit up and down and pull myself up with my legs. I have full range of motion (as full as 80 years will range) of all joints and extremities.  I figure tomorrow my shuffling gait will be more of a sliding one.  I will get my cane.  I do not like to fall.  I think I lucked out this time, only because my bones have cushions.  I really thought I was being careful. On a good note, I never hit my head. 

[KarenK]

Dang Marg!! Sooo glad you didn't break anything, but I'm sure you are stiff and sore. I suppose my worst fall so far(knock on wood) was the nose dive I took in the dark hallway over the black dog. Simply didn't see her and she's a huge dog. Ended up with a skinned elbow and big bruise on my hip. The advantage is that there is always someone here to pick me up. I never go anywhere alone and don't do curbs well(no depth perception). You know you're old when your son has to help you on and off the sidewalk. A far cry from the girl who used to leap onto her horse and gallup away....

[Gwenivere]

On 4/11/2023 at 5:22 AM, KarenK said:

No matter how fast you run, old age seems to catch up to a person.

23 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

On 4/11/2023 at 5:22 AM, KarenK said:

No matter how fast you run, old age seems to catch up with a person.

That's the truth! And we can't run as fast either.  In my mind I feel I can still do anything  Then I get up and find I'm an old lady.  Even more so than many others imagine   It’s easy to be caught when you can’t really run anymore.  I was talking to my bath aide.today and she was telling me aboutt bed baths as this gets harder and harder.  Every night I go to bed thinking about the'good old days.  I have to decide evert night what side I want to wake up on.  Il will have get up once and change sides and which I want to wake up on. These are hard decisions now.    

On 4/11/2023 at 5:22 AM, KarenK said:

No matter how fast you run, old age seems to catch up with a person.

 

 That’s s  the truth! And we  can't run as fast either.  In my mind I feel I can still do anything.  Then I get up and find I'm an old lady.  Even more so than many others imagine   It’s easy to be caught when you can’t really run anymore.  I was talking to my bath aide.today and she was telling me aboutt bed baths as this gets harder and harder.  Every night I go to bed thinking about the'good old days.  I have to decide evert night what side I want to wake up on.  Il will have get up once and change sides and which I want to wake up on. These are hard decisions now.  Can’t make this post correctly.

Kay, I've been on pain patches &or  three weeks now.

[Widow2015]

11 hours ago, Margm said:

I was emptying all my wastepaper baskets, filling up the plastic bags and my "truck" (the wheel thing I use to take groceries in and trash out) caught my right foot.

Marg so sorry you fell.  Glad you were able to get up without major injuries and thank goodness for "fluffy parts".  Dee

[kayc]

Woke up to a day from hell yesterday, no internet since 2 am, spent hours on the phone with Viasat, needless to say, switched to Spectrum, who came out today and did the installation.  Will get their cellphone Fed Ex tomorrow, unfortunately they ported my landline number to the cellphone instead of my landline so will have to notify everyone in the world of my new number.  For now it should be quiet, ha!  I didn't know they did landlines AND cellphones!  All for more $.  There were a lot of things the guy didn't disclose on our 1 1/2 hours on the phone.  I got 15 emails from them at the end of the day, mostly redundant.  More this morning.  Ugh. Couldn't do anything yesterday as my old cellphone doesn't work at my house.

Marg, so sorry you fell and glad you are not injured!  I will be looking at cataract surgery too someday, not sure how soon.  Probably sooner than I think.

Kodie was ecstatic for the "company" today!  Thought the installer was here just to see him!  I love dog's egos.

Amazon lightbulbs didn't work in kitchen so having to send back, ugh.  Will get some at WM next time I go to town.

[kayc]

13 hours ago, KarenK said:

The advantage is that there is always someone here to pick me up.

And I'm so glad!  You and Marg take it easy!

[Gwenivere]

Dee was drunk Wednesday night and even the police about 3am.  This is the first time she has told me I',m a trigger for a slip.  At least they saw who had the problem.

Yesterday  I got beat up and down by my shrink because I stood up to him and made the mistake of telling him  I wasn’t  doing his withdrawal.  So he doesn’t trust me anymore.  I shouldn’t have said anything about the meds. My counselor said the.same.  
 

Really feeling weird with this pain patch.  Off to bed.  Have to talk to gal that told me everything wrong last week.   💕

[KarenK]

Gwen, so worried about what this woman is doing to you. Why were police called? Don't let her bs you. She was "slipping" long before she met you. There just has to be someone better out there to meet your needs.

[kayc]

Oh Gwen, my heart goes out to you, this is called "Elder Abuse" and she's been doing it to you for a long time.  It's so unfair when you're in a position of being stuck.   And as for the shrink, I am right with you about standing up to doctors, shrink included.  It's not right that they wield so much power over us!  As for your physical situation, your mind still works and they shouldn't all be bullying you.  My heart literally bleeds for you in your situation.

[Widow2015]

Gwen: I agree with Karen and Kay's feelings about there has to be someone else who can make your life more bearable.  I wonder if the police who have been called to intervene could suggest a source.  Years ago, I had a friend who needed assistance with caring for her husband, he had Alzheimer's.  My friend used Lutheran Services and found a wonderful caretaker who eventually became her friend after her husband had to be moved to a Memory Care facility.  Another service I have heard about here in Tacoma is Catholic Community Services.   I know you have talked with homecare providers without much luck, but this can't be good for your well-being.  Just worry about you so much.  Take care.  Dee

[Margm]

1 hour ago, Widow2015 said:

Gwen: I agree with Karen and Kay's feelings about there has to be someone else who can make your life more bearable. 

Ditto.  If the police were called, it must be bad.  I realize she does some good, but I hope you are not using her for a death wish.  I know there are thousands that have plenty of recommendations and who would appreciate a home for a whole lot less turmoil. And someone that has a heart that stays the same, no wishy washy.  I guess anyone can get used to a wild animal living in the house, but having to dodge the attacks in your condition are unforgivable.  I think you see this though.  She does not know how easy she has it.  Your a smart woman.  

[Gwenivere]

Gosh darn it!  My post got deleted again!  I emplaned   more  ab out Dee and the police night.  No matter, I have. a reference for senior assistance.  The biggest I need is filling my pill containers.  Have to find out  about that.  
 

My pain patch is about out and I can tell.  I’m supposed to stop another dose of oxycodone too.  I’m going to try half another dose again. The weekend.  I’m feeling withdrawal already.   Talk to the doc Monday.  

I realized l'll never drive a car again.  One more counseling session and we can’t talk.  Jinny said we could chat now and then.  So many losses. 😰
 

 

[kayc]

IDK, if it's big enough for the police to be out, it's big and needs addressed.  I'm so sorry you're battling withdrawal of your pain meds on top of everything else.

Day 4 of hell yesterday, dealing with Spectrum, etc. What a nightmare, goes on for HOURS while they overbill me, etc.  They're coming out Tues, SUPPOSED to port my old landline number to this one, we'll see.  Not supposed to charge me for it but did last night after telling me they wouldn't on Wed.

Spreading Peggy and Bert's ashes today, have 16+ people coming to the Campfire restaurant, no reservation, just popping in on a Saturday, the busiest day where tables are for four.

See why I'm stressed?!  

[Gwenivere]

My mail is so messed up.  Apple restored it but it pulled posts from here and I've deleted them but they don’t show up in the trash.  I've spent an hour on it already to no avail.  Mail going back to 2016.

Woke up from a dream about a woman I hadn’t thought of in years.   I made her feel bad and didn’t mean to.  Usual not wanting to get up.  My head flooded with all the medical crap I heard all week.  Have to tally pills for my shrink , tho he doesn’t trust me with good reason.  It’s true what is said about lying.  You get yourself tangled.  If I was going to, I should have by ommition.  Let him think I was doing what he said.  Now I have to have another telemedicine meeting with him Monday.
 

Dee is in horrid pain and there  is ping ponging. Back forth emotionally.   Appreciating one moment, mad the next.  On and on about missing her best friend after 4  months and looking at medical treatment.  Unpredictable and not handling the grief any way but anger.

Movie time was a bust.  I was ready to rip my hair out with all her interruptions.  

Haven’t a clue what today will bring.  I’m so tired of my crap and hers.  Wish sleep helped.  💕