My Sanity Needed Vents

[kayc]

23 hours ago, KarenK said:

Too bad you can't store firewood closer to the house

You can't now the Forestry is making us create a defensible space around the house.  Not that they'd put out a fire before it spread anyway.  And nowhere to put it.  It's massive.  On one side is the edge of the property, on the other side the carport and driveways so it's beyond that.  I don't have enough stamina in me, let alone hands, to move all that wood if I did.

Honestly, Gwen, I'd tell them to take a hike.  What are they doing for you, anyway?  Are they in charge of your pain meds? Otherwise I wouldn't oblige.  You have too much pain and it's too much hardship.  No reason in the world the psychiatrist can't do telemed.  What an outtfit.

 

[Gwenivere]

Problem is I need pain meds.  My doctor won’t keep prescribing oxycodone indefinitely and I want something better without the ups and downs.  I’ve accepted I need meds forever with this mess I gambled and lost on.  I’m not the only person living in constant pain.

Going to be a busy day.  We have to deal with a rat in the house, find movies to watch, and I have to get ready for a week that will make lunch something I have to make the night before as every day has appointments except Friday and I'm thinking that will change.  To have daylight savings next weekend is going to be a royal pain.

The week after that is the same thru Wednesday.  Showers, sleep and eating are the toughest.  Getting close o that sleep thing.  Dee's gonna clean up the rat poop so we can keep track if it leaves as we. Know where its living so we can tape up the   entry.  We also need a new trap as the instructions were lacking.  Church dinner.  Hoping it’s not a bag of sandwiches.  But grateful for anything. 
 

💕
 

 

 

 

[kayc]

I need to use up the meat in my freezer, it's getting old (tiny pkgs venison/elk steaks) trouble is you don't know what you'll get as it's not done as II would do it...mostly piles of scraps but it's edible.  Will probably do in air fryer and hopefully not freezer burned or Kodie will have a feast!  So will Jazzy.  They love it, freezer burned or not.

So tired of snow day after day, been a good month of shoveling, can't go anywhere. Plows don't come Fri-Sun because no school or Mon if holiday. Wasn't like that when my kids' dad was working but he's state, not county. Big difference.

I hate getting mice in the house...or car.  They chewed up my car's interior and something on my pickup, all the vents were stuffed with something, had to have it worked on.  Now they're making a mess of the shop. But at least not in my house!  I have electronic traps, worked at first until the mice caught on, now they tell their nieces and nephews and they don't go near them.  I had one packed off!

 

[KarenK]

I can understand having a space around your house during fire season or warm weather. Not much chance of fire when it's snowing though. Seems like there should be an allowance for firewood in winter. We always kept a small supply on the back porch at the cabin for winter visits. The bulk of it was in a big shed in the back yard.

I've been watching a lot of older movies. At least I recognize the actors. I watched "The Dollmaker" from 1984 with Jane Fonda. Never saw it before. I thought it was excellent. Helps to be familiar with Appalachian culture.

Might be a good idea to put a piece of metal over the rat entry, Gwen. The rat could chew the tape.

[Gwenivere]

Unfortunately the hole is where the washer/dryer hoses come in.  All we can do is make it a little tougher.  Decided no traps or poison.  Last rat left because of hunger.  We'll just keep an eye on the poop before doing that.  There is no accessible food out.  There’s some stuff in plastic bags on the kitchen table, but undisturbed and the garbage is covered.  Electric traps didn’t work for me either.

Had a good movie for last night from  Dee's collection last night but was blu-ray..   Watched Hollywoodland about George Reeves suicide that was so complicated, long and I was falling asleep.  Church dinner was huge burritos from chipotle.  I could only eat half.  Actually tasted good.  Was stuffed all night.  
 

Pharmacist by phone today, shower Tuesday, OT Wednesday and  housekeeper Friday.  Think the nurse Thursday.  Need to do some more research into my bent back.  I’m hoping I didn’t contribute to it.  I’m always pushing things.  Still ave to fight the in person shrink for telemed.

Bed time again.  Talked with my Sunday pal and it was as always…felt she just wanted to get it over with.  
 

Bedtime routine.  I STLL keep waking up.  

 

 

[kayc]

14 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

 Decided no traps or poison.

The electronic traps kill instantly, no suffering.  Easy to release. You can get them on eBay or Amazon. I like them because they're humane. I have one behind my dryer, they were coming in through the vent somehow even though there's a screen there.  Haven't had one in the house for years now.

17 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

I could only eat half.  Actually tasted good.  Was stuffed all night.

I love when that happens!  

 

 

 

[Gwenivere]

Tried zap traps.  Didn’t work.  Rat was too smart.  Think t got partially zapped so wouldn’t go back, no matte r what was in there.  Threat o f starving seems to be working.  No new poop today.  Got a Target contest card, but you have to go in person. 
 

 Found out my pain clinic shrink appointment was. canceled because I won’t go in.  I don’t see how they will work with me without that, plus. I need that. Pisses me off they did did that without talking to me.  Talked to program pharmacist yesterday.  It’s up to me when to start the new pain patch.  I’m scared of it.  I don’t feel very supported.  If I didn’t have people coming by for procedures,  it would relieve some stress of not knowing what to expect.  
 

Dee ad I are like ships passing in the night.  Both down and little to say.  I know we annoy each other unintentionally.  
 

Have lots of movies now.  Watching a Tommy Lee Jones one.  It was great.  Black Dahlia tonight.

Wrote the surgeon as this hunchback (kyphosis), is rapidly progressing.  Trying to find out if there are any do’s and don’t's.  
 

Very tense about today and.a shower.  Everyday about any moving around.  Used to be I'd forget about the pain until I had to actually get up and move.  Not so anymore.  
 

Finished the burrito from Sunday night.  Had to trow a chocolate bar.  Too old.  Always sad to waste chocolate.

[kayc]

I didn't know chocolate got old in the winter, summer  yeah, it melts, but winter? What goes bad about them?

Unreal they canceled your appointment without talking to YOU about it!  I'd call them and talk to them about it now!

Predicted .3" last night, got 2" by 2:30 am so went out and shoveled.  It's hard to do when it's any more than that because of the pain and weakness in my hands.  What a rude awakening though.

Hope you enjoyed your movie.

[Gwenivere]

Oh, they heard from me!  I guess the plan is working around this guy thru my main doc.  I did want to talk to him about anxiety meds tho.  That’s integral with everything and always has been.

Exterminator wants to come out..  Hate wolf spiders.  Big, ugly and fast.  Rat we were hoping was gone is in the wall now.   Home solutions are complicated and rarely work.  Nurse and OT coming today.  My and pain clinic docs to talk to next week. Plus OT and shower and the nurse again. I just want to scream.  Housekeeper Friday.  Feel like I’m suffocating from it all.  
 

The chocolate was about 10 years old.  Lost all taste and pale.  The big flat bars are not airtight.  I don’t buy those.  These were gifts.   I buy kisses and M&M's for my candy jar or wrapped individual squares.  
 

Had my shower.  Spent too much time sitting on hard seats with being in tub chair so my lower back is screaming.  Walking was getting worse as it was.  Days like yesterday are  especially so.  Don’t know how eating lunch will affect the appointments.   I’m so tired of being off schedule.   
 

Bedtime.  Weird dreams.  Waking up, again.

[kayc]

1 hour ago, Gwenivere said:

The chocolate was about 10 years old.

Oh, I don't think I've ever had chocolate last that long!

I had a candy jar that was musical when you took the lid off.  It was a joke when the kids were growing up! We'd all tease and laugh, "Oh you're getting into the jar!"  Don't know what happened to it, probably gave to one of my kids.  I'd have never tossed it, good memories...

[Gwenivere]

Woke up yesterday to scheduled appointments.  Had to change 2.  Add on the rat service and it’s not cheap.  They would need to come back a couple times to make sure it is gone (maybe others we don’t know about) before sealing up where they get in.  There may be ways in the crawl space besides the one from the carport.  
 

The OT guy and nurse moved my appointments around.  Had to make calls and fit them in.  Getting treated like a game piece.  I ordered 2 things from Amazon and was supposed to get free shipping.  Called and found out now I have to call after they get here and get a credit.  That’s crazy!  I also asked too have a credit card they gave I never asked for.  Have to call Chase Bank.  Why am I having to do all this? 
 

I've managed to annoy Dee a lot.  It doesn’t take much with the stress she’s under and I am too.  This is a bad one about moving her van.  She didn’t ask for help beyond a place to put it.  She never asks for help.  She arranged towing with a free service I said I'd pay otherwise.  She asked why I didn’t volunteer right when she started with this free place.  She said she doesn’t beg.  How am I supposed to know what ato do?   It kept going around in circles.  I was a manipulator, liar and the kind of person she hates.  She tells me this after talking to a friend who would have insisted they’d do it.  There never is a right or wrong answer on things of this magnitude.  When she calmed down she acknowledged we were still friends an I think she still loves me.  I thought the city would pay, but it’s private property.  I’m no expert. All I could say is you should have asked.  I remember asking if I should check my AARP benefits and she said no.

 I had OT.  Now have daily exercises I can do on my own til he comes back in 2 weeks.

Sleep again, calls with banks, Amazon and counseling.  Massive stress.  As always,, the waking up part.

[kayc]

Gwen, I know arranging and rearranging schedules is stressful, but I'd think the most stressful part is  getting Dee's feedback.  I'm sorry you're still going through her attacks, personal name-calling and the like...not fun.

Still getting snow, 5-6 weeks now.

[Gwenivere]

Dee's personality is just so bizarre from any person I've met in my whole life.  No one I could even come close to comparing her to.  Sometimes I wonder why I care so much.  Can’t control the heart tho.  I know a lot is fear of being alone.  Not exactly a firm foundation.

 I’m very sore from the OT exercises.  Skipped them yesterday.  Will try today.  Nurse is coming by right after I get up.  Finally getting the blood  draw.  Going to get take out tonight.  I’m limited as mine  will have to be reheated.  
 

Had counseling.  It’s as  redundant as every day is.  No way out of this mess.  Which side to sleep on a. Big decision.  Dee's van is move d here.  Now it’s on to her med treatment and  brakes of my car.  Plus DST.  
 

💕 to all.

 

 

[kayc]

Supposed to snow a lot last night, this morning.  It's 3 am, not yet, I can wait. 

Glad she got her van moved, must be a relief for her.

Your car needs new brakes?  I need an oil change, it's at 15%, will be down to 5-10% before I can get it in because of the weather.  Got $25 off coupon at Kendall Honda but will likely take it locally, Kendall always "finds something wrong," I trust the local shop and do not like taking it so far.  They used to make appts but now they make you be there all day.

[KarenK]

Decided to splurge and buy myself a new pair of sandals and sox for around the house as a birthday present to myself. Almost choke when I see the price of shoes. I've been wearing boots for so long(which are expensive), just never paid attention to shoes. My sandals are "Earth Shoes" bought at least 25 years ago for $10. They run at least $70 now. They are indestructible, but look pretty rough after all these years. I found some "Easy Spirit" ones at Penny's on clearance for $18, funky colors but my feet don't care. Not leather, but have good reviews. Almost impossible for me to buy shoes locally. Most shoes don't come in size 5 and ones that do aren't stocked in the stores.

[Gwenivere]

My car isn’t driven all that much.  Never the mileage the sticker says.  Should get it done soon tho.  Probably when they do the brakes.  More expensive, but convenient.  
 

My pain doc has lost patience with me.  I've been so scared of that pain patch.  Either do it or take a harder taper without.  Can’t blame her.  But they don’t understand being the patient.  Not all of us are sheep to white coats.  
 

Long day with blond draw, housekeeper and now facing putting on the pain patch and hoping there are no extra side effects.  Dee is watching like a hawk.  Doesn’t help my anxiety.  I’m also trying to figure out when to set the clocks ahead tonight so we don’t lose an hours sleep which neither of us  need.  
 

Got take out gourmet burgers.  Was getting so tired of our usual stuff.  Dee melted down for the rest of the night.  Horrible..  Wasted night.  Now it’s close to bed.  Didn’t get to play my wind down games.  *e5 is play with time tonight.  Can’t afford to lose sleep.  Barely getting by now.  Overslept yesterday.

[kayc]

Karen, you wouldn't believe how many people buy the Kalso Earth Shoes I wear exclusively and don't give them a chance, they sit in their closet a couple of years, then they sell them on eBay for a fraction of the price (usually $30 instead of the $100-$150) so I bought up enough to last me the rest of my life.  My son said the glue wouldn't hold, they are really well made and I'm wearing some 15 years old, it's held fine, as long as it's kept inside not thrown in a garage or shed somewhere.  So you might try eBay!  My problem is when I lost weight a lot of the boots are too big now.

Oh no on the can't login!  Can you have them send you a temporary password?  I just went through this with USB yesterday, because my Chrome won't update because I don't have Windows 10, I don't want Windows 10, Microsoft goes way overboard with Windows 10, I went back to 7. So I have to use a different browser to check my bank account or change my pw every time I log in, so I got it set up on another browser now.  What a pain!

20 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

I’m also trying to figure out when to set the clocks ahead tonight so we don’t lose an hours sleep

I don't see any way around it as my biological clock tells me I'm losing an hour.  Annoying!

 

 

 

[KarenK]

Kay, I waited a couple of hours and tried again and everything worked fine. It seems a little patience helps. I did discover on the pairs that were not worn for a long time that the leather foot beds turned super sticky and the foam padding on some had rotted so will be throwing those away. Funny how some pairs stood the test of time and others didn't.

[Gwenivere]

My biological clock knows the time difference.  Takes a couple weeks for that to adapt.  Also the lighting change.  Lived last night on DST hours.  Have the pain patch on.  Shoulder extra s ore rom exercises.  
 

House is better after housekeeper.  
 

Sleep time.  💕

[kayc]

14 hours ago, KarenK said:

Funny how some pairs stood the test of time and others didn't.

It all depends on how they've been stored.

I hate the time switches! And wouldn't you know today is Vincent's 6th bdy party!  Will be back late which is really later biologically.

Storm moving in tomorrow night...

[Gwenivere]

I can tell Sunday the time difference.  Same amount of sleep, but my body knows it’s changed.  Really didn’t want to get up.  Going back to bed after mid morning bathroom need, I passed right back out and slept after the alarm went off.  So depressing getting up.  
 

Watced a movie about drug addiction last night.  Hit close to home minus the stealing to buy off the streets.  Sent back a movie about alcoholism because of Dee's triggers.  Watching a sci-fi movie to get away from any reality.  Church dinner looks good with fried chicken and potatoes. Macaroni too.  Not exactly real healthy, but good comfort food.

Had a dream where I got so fed up I stood up and walked to the car to take a drive.  No pain, no walker, just life as I knew it once.  I instead watched my calendar for the week fillll up for more phone calls snd problems.  Desperately trying to get one so my insurance covers others I’ve had.  Landscaper coming now too.  
 

At least we watched a good movie last night.  
 

 

 

[kayc]

Oh Gwen, I only wish your dream was real.

I dreamed a horrible dream last night, woke me up after six hours sleep, laid there for an hour before getting up.  My phone alarm went off at 3:12 am even though I had my phone off the hook, I couldn't figure out how to turn alarm off but got it to change to once instead of daily and for a later time of day.  Crazy, the instructions are lacking.  Or maybe it's my standard time brain.

Stores out of catfood, managed to get some generic kibble, trying to convince Panther it's food.  He doesn't look so sure.  Guess if that's all there is...hope he doesn't leave home over this!

My grandson had a good 6th birthday, my son did a fabulous job on the cake, complete with homemade fondant!  Huge family celebration, all of the Jennings were there plus my little sister and her husband.  She's walking although not like she used to, I imagine she gets tired.

Iris left a day early for her trip for her husband's memorial for his family in ID, took Jazzy with her instead of hiring Kelly, so Kodie will be in withdrawal for 1 1/2 weeks at least, storm rolling in last night through today.  I made it home in time to load the fire, get groceries in, report my debit card lost at Costco, Costco didn't have one turned in so notified First Tech, they told me to call back Mon. to order a new one, also want to transfer $ to my daughter's account for a new battery, hope she can get her car started today!  Places are making everything more difficult to do.  They told me to come in, I told them I couldn't, he kept asking the same redundant questions over and over, I was getting exasperated!

[Margm]

13 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Sent back a movie about alcoholism because of Dee's triggers.  Watching a sci-fi movie to get away from any reality.

I got into reading paranormal books because they were free on Kindle, and my favorite authors did not have a new book yet.  One finally did, and it was all about conspiracy theorists and politics (in Wyoming????) so, I will go back to my paranormal.  Most have too much romance, but sometimes you hit upon a real story, (imagination required).

Sister finally had to get the pain pills.  I hate for her to hurt so much.  Said she was not going to take the extra chemo that was going to be necessary.  I asked her to talk to both her physicians, actually three of them.  My heart hurts.  I was nearly ten years old when she was born and she was my doll baby, although she fought against that.  Such a beauty, she favored Natalie Wood.  It hurts my heart, or what is left of my heart. 

[Gwenivere]

Definitely quiet n incoming calls yesterday.  Made lots of outbound as no one replied to messages.  Landscapers didn’t show up.  Tried to find out about a  Friday Zoom appointment and no  reply.  Called my insurance to verify a 3 week program I'm on to verify.  My OT exercises are making muscles worse.   Bath aide may be tied up today.  I want to skip it actually.  Cuts close to a Zoom doc appointment.  Add in the OT pain.

Dee fund out about the Hep C treatment.  Doesn’t want to be too sick to take care o& me even tho I won’t get bette.  I worry about her health(.   All very complicated.

This week is suffocating.  Too mu+h stuff for 4 days.  Really hoping my aide cancels today.  Just would make me feel better if I  could say I had no choice.  I’m so stressed out I'm messing up what I attempt to schedule.

I spent all afternoon getting my calendar right.  
 

💕 to all.

[kayc]

Snowed 3" in 3 hours 4-7 pm, heavy wet cement sludge, hard to shovel, they didn't predict it!  There went my evening.

Marg, I'm sorry about your sister, she might go on Keto to battle the cancer instead of chemo, it works, Iris had a tumor in her breast (gone now) and also lymph glands (under arm) and it's shrinking, all her blood tests, everything are normal now, and no medications!  She's been doing this nearly a year now, it's amazing.  Don't know if you ever saw Meryl Streep's movie "First Do No Harm" I think it's 1984, true story, amazing.

Gwen, good luck today, I hate busy days like that when I just want to be left alone, ha!  How my April/May always go after putting off doctor's appts over the winter, it's non-stop appts after that, ugh.  Only having to work out how to get there when it snows is no fun.