My Sanity Needed Vents

[Gwenivere]

Thanks Kay.  Yesteray was another frustrating day trying to updae m calendar with more docs from the pain clinic.  My shower got puhed to Friday as soon as I  get up.  So more thoughts of waiting til next week.  Weekend would be great, but she has her holy day and probably working.  Dee said she'd do it, but she's so stressed out she's not pleasent to be  around.  

My meeting with my pain doc was mind twisting.  I hope there are notes to read or my PCP can explain the complicated back and forth fjying instructions.  This is so difficult when your brain is-scrambled b6 the very thing you're trying to fix.

Thee isn't much more to s ay.  Ladscapers  supposedly oming today.  No loud noise b efore 1.  2 viirtul meetgs.  Another no real lun+h day.  Feeling like  I'm making Dee mad.  That old 'alonee in a crowd' feeling.  
 

Takin*g my quiet, lonely sel& to bed.  Hope evertonne sleeps well.

 

[KarenK]

Gwen, they should be able to email you the instructions. Even my vet does that for the dog's stuff.

I forgot to ask you how the pain patch is working out. Is it providing any relief?

Lonely night here too. Just me, the dogs, and tv.

[kayc]

So I don't understand why your doctor can't come to you if you can't go to him, they did for my sister!  Some people have a hard time of it.  You're one of them.

[Gwenivere]

I don’t know of any doctor that come to except in the hospital or rehab.  And those are facility doctors.  Not private practice..

 I don’t think the pain patch is doing anything perceptible.  It’s the lowest dose and needs to go u, but my appointment with my doc at the clinic isn’t til May.  I'.ll need a ref ill way before that. I had cut down on Tylenol but am going back up.  Th e patches are supposed to go up in strength before going down on oxy.  The goal is to higher level and going dow more comfortably.

Accidentally took extra meds.  Have to go to sleep on less.

[kayc]

A lot of snow in the front melted yesterday but still by car, embankment into front fence, a lot left in front of carport, the entire backyard still covered, in other words, most of my place, yet some of the neighbors it's all gone.  All in how your property lays, I've always gotten more, lucky me.

Yeah, I was impressed with my sister's doctor (same as mine) but her house was closer to it, I'm way too far away.

[Gwenivere]

 Friday was way too long a  day with landscapers, nurse and exterminator.  Finally got the las5 o& them gone after 6pm.  Also trying to make sense of my IRS site.  My pain doc was supposed to call me didn’t.  Had to call the main office. as the nurse said to cut a dose o& oxycodone which was wrong.  Turns out a good thing I did as her notes said not to yet.  
 

I don't know how you're supposed to manage your health when you get d different answers to the same inquiry.  I took off the new patch and hoping my head will clear a bit.  I need to a drug interaction site.  All I know right now i s. this patch is supposed to block the absorption of the opioid.  That means withdrawl.  The patch yesterday was new, full strength.  
 

Being the weekend, all I'll be able to do is write her.  Have counseling 5his afternoon.  I’m hoping it helps a bit.  Dee' s going for  a. movie tonight.  On my own for dinner.  
 

💕  to all.

[KarenK]

I also don't know how you can manage your health when you can't afford the medicine. No news flash on that, I'm sure. I checked with the pharmacy on the new kidney med that the doctor ordered. Not covered by insurance and is $700+ per month. I declined it. From what I gather, all kidney meds are over $500. I read that garlic is helpful for kidney disease so I'll start taking it again. I used to take it for heart health.

I've been watching an older series called "Lost". Lots of crazy episodes, but it's entertaining.

Why did you remove the patch if it's supposed to help you get rid of the Oxy?

[kayc]

Oh Karen, that's horrible!  Write your state representative, Rxs shouldn't just be for the rich.  This is one of Biden's focuses on his 2024 campaign, maybe we need someone to give a rip now!  Why is it not covered?!  Your insurance needs to cough up answers, what kidney medicine IS covered!!

I reversed my kidney damage with Keto.  Just a thought...

[Margm]

They told me Billy's chemo was not covered by our insurance, would have needed a separate policy.  I had a separate cancer policy in 1982.  Said (I think) it would be $6,000.  Somehow I didn't leave the office in a hopeless condition.  We could give up the house, live in the truck, no worry.  Before I got 10 feet away from the office she had a grant from some company that covered it all.  Bless his heart, he only used up a few hundred of that chemo.  My sister gets chemo and one of the insurances pays it.  I think they should have a grant to cover the cost of your kidney medicine.  Contact the company.  So many of the drug companies work out a plan with you.  My daughter knows about all these ins and outs having been co-administrator of an assisted living facility.  She called many a drug company.  This was in a little town that the very poor people went to the farm store and picked up antibiotics for chickens because they could not afford to go to a doc.  I know we still have free hospitals and you have to fill out a lot of papers, but there is sensible help.  My sister has a home nurse that she actually trusts.  They mention things like case managers, etc., that I don't understand.  Her cancer is in two lymph nodes now, more chemo.  She is very stubborn, doc arranging appointment with mental health.  She is a skeleton.  It hurts, but her body hurts, it is only my psyche.  Someone said once "If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself."

[KarenK]

From what I can find, there really is no medication out there that controls chronic kidney disease. The meds are all aimed at diabetes(which I don't have) and high blood pressure(which I already take 3 meds for). Those are both the main cause of CKD. I noticed my doctor said "new" medicine when he prescribed this. Makes me wonder if a pharma rep just has the doctor pushing this stuff. I see them frequently in his office. I'm not big on adding any more strange pills to my life. Will just go with the garlic and not stress over it. I turned 76 today. That's stressful enough.  lol

When Debbie had cancer for so long with several operations and tons of chemo over the years, I tried to organize her medical bills and just choked on the amounts she owed after insurance paid. They couldn't pay any of it, were barely able to buy food and pay bills with my help. The hospital and doctors finally just wrote off a few hundred thousand. I was surprised her farm wasn't taken for payment which I know hospitals will do. Ron had Medicare and secondary insurance so most of his bills were covered.

[Margm]

Kelli was just given a prescription for kidney disease and it is either Farxiga or Rybelsus (I think this for diabetes).  Somehow, they fixed it where she only had to pay a small amount.  The oddity was the nurse called about appointment and Kelli mentioned kidney disease, nurse said she did not see anything about kidney disease.  Kelli called new doc for appointment.  Old doc wound up calling about six times (because new doc wanted med rec),  Kelli told her she didn't trust her adding all the new meds on if she did not have kidney disease.  She told her that nurse had been "let go."  No kidney disease.  It is nice when you have a doc you can trust.  But, if you need to have a lower price, sometimes as low as $10, go on line and look at the med and they  will show you a post to go to for cheaper med.  She has the diabetes from a "new" antidepressant a few years ago.  I was given the propranolol again for my tremors.  They really help but my "condition" will not allow me to leave the house.  I had to quit them, but had only taken two, so no worry about tapering off.  I got ready to go to grocery store and had to come back to my house and bathe again and wash clothes.  I will just have to accept the shaking. (Med so cheap generic, I know there was no doc/drug collaboration.)

Kelli is on disability and I wonder if doc's sometimes work in alliance with drug company to fleece a government program out of money.  I know they charged my bro-in-law for a colonoscopy and he had passed away days before.  So, I'm sure Medicare paid off and it is people like me that did not snitch on them that allows it to keep happening.  

[KarenK]

Farxiga is another one that my doctor mentioned. It is supposedly for CKD, diabetes, and heart. The side effects sound as bad as the illness. All of the new fancy meds seem to have horrific side effects, but not to worry, we have another pill you can take for those side effects and on and on....Not my cup of tea.

Glad Kelli caught the mistake before suffering further harm. You really have to advocate for yourself.

[Gwenivere]

1 hour ago, Margm said:

I know they charged my bro-in-law for a colonoscopy and he had passed away days before. 

  What?  That makes no sense at all!  How can they get away with that?  

15 hours ago, KarenK said:

Why did you remove the patch if it's supposed to help you get rid of the Oxy?

Exactly my question.l, No one told me to drop one of the oxycodone doses except a nurse but that  she was wrong.  She was right-and the doctor said I was supposed to but not me.  I took the patch off because it was getting double dosed in my making me over sedated.  I’m not going to put another patch on til after I talk to the pharmacist this coming Friday and write this doctor why I wasn’t told this.  I want to go back to pre patch dosing and see if it worked as it did.  Also want to get my shower in Tuesday if possible.  Definitely don’t want to be too shaky for that.

Dee is angry I haven’t been up front about my anxiety meds but no one ever asked.  My soon to be ex shrink has me one pill a day which is crazy as I’d be having attacks and possibly seizures by hi# rapid withdrawal.  I’m still fuming that he is pushing this during the oxy mess.

Th3 cost o& 6our meds is unbeatable.  But mediocre is more about money than patient care now.  
 

Dee is angry with me which is becoming usual.  I told her I missed her while she was  out with a friend at the movies, but all she  homed in on was I mentioned  it was harder doing  dinner by m6self.  That led to other gripes.  
 

Time to prepare for bed.  Reminder from my counselor that I have to find another.  So sick of loss.
 

 

 

 

[kayc]

9 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

My soon to be ex shrink

Not soon enough to my liking!  From the sounds  of it...
I had to laugh, my UHC ins is coming up with points & rewards that you earn only no one tells you how exactly, I'm not tech savvy and after several phone calls, I gave up. I had 50 pts though which they say you can "buy" things like vitamins with...only it's not listed in their online reportoire but I did find Loratadine which I had on my list to get at Costco for $11.69, but got for free only it took nearly the $40 I had in the dollars I'd earned, so helped but not much.

 

[Margm]

7 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

16 hours ago, Margm said:

I know they charged my bro-in-law for a colonoscopy and he had passed away days before. 

  What?  That makes no sense at all!  How can they get away with that?  

They can get away with it because people like me, who knows it was fraud, did not report it.  I'm sure they would have squeaked by with any excuse, this was before COVID many years.  He had been scheduled for the colonoscopy, but died in the same hospital it was to have been performed in.  It would have successfully "gone away" as a mistake, because it was scheduled.  His death wasn't.  

[Gwenivere]

I got a notice today my credit scorre declined.  Makes no sense to me aa s I have-no debts, pay everything on time and only one credit card  I use now.  It’s like they want you in debt.  
 

Had a wonderful dream yesterday morning of being with my family. No weird stuff.  I got to see my cousin who I loved like a brother before he died years  ago.  Greatest hug in a very long time.  Brought me to tears waking to this reality.  How it's so messed up by the opiods.w. And always will be. I just hope it can be the patch  and not the roller coaster of pills all day.  Just have one doctor to deal with and drop my PCP out of it.  I don't know what to do about a shrink as the clinic one won’t talk to me unless it’s in person the first time.   I’m developing a tolerance to the pills and logic says it will to the patches too.  That scares me and how to get my panic disorder covered.  

Had a Zoom call with Nina.  Always kinda tense for me.  I think she's bored.  I'd be bored talking to me if I had a jam packed ilife like she does.. She's totally bummed out she has to give up a pickle ball game one night.  Poor kid. 
 

Hoping for a tolerable evening.  I know that can turn on a dime.  Only a couple so far.  Another blow up when I tried to apologize for a bad habit I  have.   Nothing I do seems to be done acceptably.  Decide if I should eve bother.  Yet earlier she was appreciative of my re moving stress where I could.  Yup.  Just keeping quiet more.

 

Time to prepare for  a  long week.

 

 

[KarenK]

Sure wish you had found a more stable person for a friend, Gwen. Hard to know what a person is like until they are around 24/7.

I heard a long time ago that it helped your credit score to have at least a little bit of debt. Makes no sense to me.

[kayc]

1 hour ago, Gwenivere said:

I got a notice today my credit scorre declined.  Makes no sense to me aa s I have-no debts, pay everything on time and only one credit card  I use now.

So many factors go into their determination so it makes sense to me...they rate you down if you only use one card, even if you pay on time.  I'm kind of in the same boat, don't worry about it!  I had a perfect credit score a few months ago! 

[kayc]

We got deluged with rain last night, it woke me up!  Getting snow all week, Wed. my day to go to town and get groceries, but not going this week!  Will be slammed with snow Thurs. on...

Getting car worked on today. Tomorrow defensible space people out to inspect my place, ugh, I don't want anything touched, we'll see how it goes.

[Margm]

My credit score plummeted after the two cars were paid for.  I have no places I pay but my phone, insurance, utilities.  Our score went up when we owed for vehicles, were never late and I made copies of my utility bills that were all paid on time, never late, and that was the reason we were able to buy a house after we quit RVing.  Sure enough though, I'm still not late with rent, utilities, and credit score dropped after the two cars were paid off.  Never late with payments.  I doubt I will order anything with time paying anymore anyhow.  Kept telling me I needed credit cards.  I won't.  My debit card is a "credit card."  

[Gwenivere]

8 hours ago, kayc said:

Tomorrow defensible space people out to inspect my place, ugh, I don't want anything touched, we'll see how it goes.

What does this mean?  Defensible space?   What would they be touching?  I've never been clear if you live in a house built on land or a mobile home.

 Mail brought news my endocrinologist is leaving.  Have to find another.  Hopefully in the same clinic.  It's important, but not top billing.  Insurance decline of a service e of almost $500 for a half hour phone appointment which is absurd.   Bill from my useless shrink.  A check to Steve from a class action suit.  Call from exterminator setting up rat treatments and costs,.  

So lots of phone calls this afternoon.  I’m getting limited on once was once a brief   freedom in the long days.  I can only go to sleep on that side.  I've been experimenting for the  to the least waking pain.  

Couldn't sleep on my left side from shoulder pain.  Hoping I don’t lose my last position I can get some rest.  I wrote. my pain doc about restarting the 4 week detox front oxy this weekend and that I wasted 2 patches.  Want  do i5 on the weekend as there. are no appointments.   
 

Hope all got some peace last night.  Spelling errors from my keyboards changing words on it’s own.  Opiates don’t.

[KarenK]

Had to laugh as I got a call from the pharmacy saying my doctor got the insurance to cover the kidney med. Oh joy, my copay is down to $500+. Declined it and told the clerk that all kidney meds were too expensive. She agreed and said that there must be alternatives. I told her yes, you can always die. Called the doctor and told them that anything more than $30 is too much for me.

On the good news side, my Marley dog is doing so much better. Unknown infection is gone. She will continue on the blood disorder med for life. An unexpected miracle(a very expensive one) as she was close to death.

Guess it's crazy to spend all that money on a dog, but not on myself. It is what it is....

[kayc]

1 hour ago, Gwenivere said:

What does this mean?  Defensible space?   What would they be touching?  

I live in a mobile home, no foundation, which means I have to make sure it's never dug into or plug it.  We got a threatening letter last summer from the Dept of Registry and they rated our homes high danger, med, and low, mine was high.  I had to have my tree guy cut and limb trees but I have a feeling it's not enough for their liking.  46 years here, no one has ever said a word!  I live here because I love the trees!  I could have sold years ago to someone who'd log the place, but no, I loved my trees.  I don't want to lose them. These people will measure, assess our place and make recommendations.  There goes half the value!  I'm angry they can go in and make arbitrary rules we never had before...it's our great gov't sticking their nose in other people's business, city people don't have the same rules!  All rural areas, and they just came up with this.  They're still being challenged in court.  Yet these same people are the ones that could have gotten that fire out right away but didn't, letting it grow humongeously!  It ruined our summer & fall, lungs, and poor Panther can no longer meow because of that smoke.
They only cut up to 6" in diameter, it's up to us to do the rest.  I have the oldest vine maple in the area, it has a spread of about 60 feet!  I'd like to keep it that way.  And I have my forest in the back yard, down to the creek.  I have a privacy barrier between me and the neighbors.

 

25 minutes ago, KarenK said:

Guess it's crazy to spend all that money on a dog, but not on myself. It is what it is....

I get it, I totally do.  I'm paying $84 for my dog's license (county...the same one who won't come up here or do anything about loose vicious dogs but sure takes our $!) because I don't want him risking his life with an unnecessary surgery when he doesn't run off and is well behaved and I can't see putting him through it.  I am so glad for Marley!

[KarenK]

The government seems to harass any way it can. We have stupid laws in my city too, like grass length or lack of grass in the middle of summer when the only thing that grows is the temperature. Nothing to do with safety, just neighborhood aesthetics. News flash! This is a very old tired neighborhood! Hope those inspectors don't give you a load of $hit.

Marley is unlicensed for right now, maybe forever. I was getting ready to take her for the rabies shot when she got sick. It's my understanding that getting a vaccine with her condition could aggravate it again, so isn't going to happen. Our dogs never leave the house or yard anyway(except for vet).

[kayc]

If you can get a vet to back you, but here the law is, if you take your animal to the vet, they are required to turn it in to the county for licensing.  Oh God, don't get me started on them! They've put me through hell!  I made an appt with them to get Kodie neutered a year ago and the manager scared me to death, right before going to bed! I didn't sleep.  I'd given them my payment info but they'd said I'd have a month to cancel and they'd refund it, so I called first thing in the morning to cancel and they refused to refund me!  Seriously! I had to fight it through my bank!  I won, but not until they'd put me through nearly three months of hell.
Insane laws.  Neighbors have found a way around this by putting down wrong addresses, etc. I've lived here 46 years, I have no other address to use.