STARKISS Posted October 13, 2006 Report Share Posted October 13, 2006 Hi All,This might be weird to everyone but after both my parents died last year I missed being hugged... I am a very hugable person and I hugged my mom everyday even the day she died... Now she is gone I miss her hugs and hugs from others as well... What a weird world it is now that I am not getting hugged anymore... I hope this does not sound to weird to people but I am missing them right this moment... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 13, 2006 Report Share Posted October 13, 2006 Oh my dear Shelley, that is not wierd at all. There is nothing to replace being hugged by your mother or your dad, and I too would give anything to feel once again the warm and tender embrace of either of my parents. Let's take a page from Shell's book: put your arms around yourself and give yourself a great big hug, and know that it comes from your mother and your dad. Then give yourself another one, from all the members of your GH family here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leann Posted October 13, 2006 Report Share Posted October 13, 2006 Hi, Shelley:This isn't wierd at all...not at all. I come from a family of huggers, as well. I miss giving my Dad his zerburts, too! When I was anxious or scared, I used to put my head on his shoulder. I miss that so much. Hugs,Leann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted October 13, 2006 Report Share Posted October 13, 2006 I don't think it is wierd at all, I to miss my wife's kisses and hugs and the closness. I am very affectionate and I miss that, granted I have Carson who hugs me a lot but it isn't the same.Derek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shell Posted October 13, 2006 Report Share Posted October 13, 2006 I have another suggestion that will probably sound weird to some of you. Get a big teddy bear (or any stuffed animal) and hug the devil out of it! I have a gorilla (of all things!) that an ex-boyfriend gave me and all of my cats have slept with him at one time or another, so he has lived on my bed for years. Before I go to sleep I hug him and it makes me feel so peaceful. Try it! Hugs, hugs, hugs to everyone!Shell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted October 13, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2006 Thank you Marty T,Thank you for your time and your understanding, I really appreciate it and I have just given myself a hug and yes it did make me feel a little better...Take care ShelleyThank you Derek,Thank you for your kind words and understandings, I really appreciate it. Take care ShelleyThank you Leann,Thank you for your post and your time and understanding. I really appreciate it. Take care ShelleyThank you Shell,Thank you for your time and understanding, And the ideal of hugging a stuffed toy... I hugged a big white dog that a counsellor gave me from Hospice office... It felt alot better after I hugged it... Thanks again and Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ann Posted October 13, 2006 Report Share Posted October 13, 2006 hi shelley,just want to send u a big, tight hug right this very moment. u are in my thoughts and prayers. u have helped us a lot here with your kind words and i am grateful for that.and i dont think it is weird to miss the hugs of our loved ones. we all do. and i agree with shell to get ur fave stuff toy and hug it when u are really missing ur mom so much. it works for me..take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted October 13, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2006 Hi Ann,Thank you so very much for your input, it is really nice to know people do actually can for you and understand what you are going through... Take care and God Bless You Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorikelly Posted October 13, 2006 Report Share Posted October 13, 2006 Shelley Your are not weird at all. i wish my mom would hug me and then i would feel so much better. pls know that i am sending you a very big hug today. i hope tomorrow is better for all of us. lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trudy1964 Posted October 13, 2006 Report Share Posted October 13, 2006 I have a pair of my Mom's pj's. When I really miss her, I sleep in them. I feel like I sleep in her arms all night long. Missing my Mom,Trudy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted October 13, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2006 Hi Lorikelly,Thank you so much for your kind words and for understanding what I am going through.. I hope when we meet our beloved lost ones that we all can get all the hugs we need. Take care and Thanks again ShelleyHi Trudy1964,Thank you for all your kind words and your understanding of what I am going through... I think that you are so lucky to have your mom's pjs and it is so very neat to be able to do that... Take care and Thanks again Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 Hi Shelley:It has been a few days since I have posted anything......I am feeling the exact same way right now....I ache so desperately for a hug from my husband Herman. I had to start working on Wednesday, back into property management that I did not want to go back into (Herman and I were a team inthat profession) and I am struggling so much for that hug in the morning as I leave and the embrace when I come home. Now, all I have is no embrace when I leave or when I come home. All I have is nothingness and I don't think it is weird at all because if it is then I am weird too (feel like I am all the time though).My dad died when I was 51/2 years old and my mom when I was six so I have not experienced the hug of a parent (I cannot remember my parents at all) but I do remember the way I would bury my head in Herman's chest, feel his arms surround me and not a word had to be said......I always felt so protected then and now only emptyness.Shelley, please accept this huge hug from me with so much love and sincerety with it. My heart aches for you.Much Love, Jamie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted October 14, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 Hi Jamie,I am so sorry that you had to grow up without your mom and your dad.. No child should have to do that, I am glad that you found this site and are helping others from what you have gone through... I hope that we help you as well..Thank you for your kind words and for the understanding you have added to your last post... I really appreciate that people are so willing to lend a helping hand when some of us need one. Thank you for taking the time to write your post... Take care and Thanks again Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spunkye Posted October 15, 2006 Report Share Posted October 15, 2006 It's very odd - I started thinking about how much I miss cuddling with my husband, Dick...Just about every day we would take a nap together - and I would fall asleep with his arm around me and my head on his shoulder and chest. I miss that so much - I keep thinking how much I want that back 0- how much I want him back.I really got into a crying fit today in the car thinking about that - and then I started trying to remember his voice and I couldn't. My brain is now frantically searching for something he might have left behind that has his voice on it.Love to all of you, Benita Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted October 15, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2006 Hi Spunkye,Thank you for the input and for your words you posted, I really think that this website rocks because people really do care and understand what you are going through... I hope you find something that has your loved ones voice on it... I have my parents and it does help a little. Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeeMay Posted October 19, 2006 Report Share Posted October 19, 2006 I have a pair of my Mom's pj's. When I really miss her, I sleep in them. I feel like I sleep in her arms all night long. Missing my Mom,Trudyhi, I can relate to that. My dad made me take mums nighties and one of dressing gowns. I took the nighties becuase I had to go to hospitla and the gown becasue it was pretty and my sisiter had given it to her for mothers day.I had to have a hysterectomey 3 weeks after mum died. It was so comfoting to wear her nighties and gown, I jsut felt like she was with me. I still cuddle into the gown when I need to be near her, and depending on what I want to remmeber, which nightie I wear and when. I was a bit worried hubby would think of it as strange , but he nevr saw her in the dressing gown,s he preferred another one, and a nightie is anightie to him LOLI miss my mums hugs too:(regardsBee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted October 19, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2006 Hi BeeMay,I certainly can relate you the pj thing, I have a warm sweather of my mom's and whenever I miss her I wear it. I am certainly glad that someone of us have things of our dear departed ones. I think everyone should have something to help them remember their dear loved ones... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted November 8, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2006 Hi All,You do not know how much you miss your parents hugs until you can not get them anymore... I am in that way right now, I have tried to get a special stuffed animal and hug it but it is not the same... I have no other family that will give me hugs and so here I am not able to feel hugs ever again... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted November 8, 2006 Report Share Posted November 8, 2006 Shelley, dear ~ I know it's not the same as being hugged by your dear parents, but how about telling your two nephews and your niece that you really, really need a hug from them? Children can be quite wonderful about letting us hug them, especially when we let them know how much those hugs mean to us. Maybe you could talk with them about how much you're missing those hugs from their Grandma and Grandpa and how much you could use a hug from them -- maybe at bedtime when they're sleepy and quiet and all snuggled in bed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted November 8, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2006 Thank you Marty T,Thank you for giving me that wonderful Ideal, I will discuss it with them and I will let you know how it goes... Take care and God Bless You Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coliver Posted November 24, 2006 Report Share Posted November 24, 2006 Hi Benita,I have not been to this site much, but decided to log on today. I too feel very alone even when I am in a group of people, and so miss the hugs and kisses. I make it a point to give all the hugs I can now. It is in no way the same, but it does help me feel somewhat more normal. I have the most difficulty in seeing or hearing how others think their loved ones will always be there, just as I did, and don't take advantage of every opportunity to share their love. I have been in a very bad emotional state lately and I truely miss myself. I feel like I am faking every smile and action. I wonder if I might need to be hospitalized because I can't find the strength to cope. I too wear my husband's favorite T shirt, which gives me some comfort. I find that taking my dogs for a walk or driving to the highest point I can find and overlooking the city makes me feel better. I guess just being close to nature makes me feel closer to my husband and God. Bless you all and XOXOXO to you too! Cheryl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trudy1964 Posted November 24, 2006 Report Share Posted November 24, 2006 Shelley,I know it's not the same but I am sending you a great big hug right now. My Mom's pjs brings me such great comfort, as well as this site. I don't post very often. Just reading what you guys write to others has helped me greatly. It made me so sad for you. I know how lonely I feel. Here's an idea. A friend suggested it to me. Through the holidays, I am keeping a holy candle burning at my house. It makes me feel like she is lighting us the room just like she did in life as well as in death. After she passed, we were waiting for the funeral home to come. Only the immediate family was present. We recited the rosary. You could just feel the room glowing. In death it was the most beatiful thing I have ever experienced. She was at such peace. When I light the candle, I feel that peace and her close by again. My prayers are always with all of you. Missing my Mom,Trudy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted December 16, 2006 Author Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 Thank You All very much for all your replies, Your thoughtfulness is really appreciate and I am so very thankful for this website and everyone here.. You have been like a real family for me and I am grateful Take care and God Bless you All Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2007 Hi All,I still miss the hugs alot but now I think it is just someone to honestly say that they love me.... I know it sounds selfish but my mom told me she loved me everyday and since than I might have been told once since she died.... I just want to hear it from someone to say they do care about me.... Is this terrible or not???? Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted October 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2007 Hi All,I just wanted to let you know that I am not missing hugs as much anymore... My neice and nephews pretty much have that covered... Except for missing mom and dads hugs I guess I will always miss them.... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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