kayc Posted June 2, 2008 Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 (edited) I called my friend Virgie yesterday morning to see how her husband was doing and she said he was gone...she was crying so hard I couldn't understand her. I fixed her some food and went down there and spent the day with her until her daughter arrived last night from TX. She is left with no income, no money, no life insurance. We went over some options. It was a hard day...she's doing pretty well but I know there are hard times ahead. In all of this, trying to be there for her, last night I went home and realized that I miss my friend Jim too and today my body realizes it's grieving too. It's just been a long hard weekend. Today she has her daughter and a couple of other friends with her. I remember last night she ran across his favorite video game and it just hit her...I know that kind of stuff will happen a lot. God this is hard, so hard, no one should ever have to go through this. It's unbearable. There is all of the stuff he was working on, he had gotten into making jewelry, and he was going to make me some leaf earrings, and there was the horse jewelry he was working on for Janice. It's hard to understand how someone can be here and then just not. It brings back painful memories of all I have been through. I know this never ends. But it does change form and it gets somewha better. You can't take this level of intensity for very long, it's unbearable I feel like I'm rambling, I feel disjointed. I'm sorry if I don't make any sense. I don't know how I'm going to work this week. We'll have a service for him this week, I'm going to try to take the whole day off, I don't think I can work on the same day. Please pray for us...he wasn't just her husband, he's my friend too. Edited June 2, 2008 by kayc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted June 2, 2008 Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 Kay, I am so sorry. These are very difficult times. You friend is lucky in one respect, and that's knowing you. You understand. I feel empathy for what she has to go through and you've lost a good friend, as well. There's really not much more that can be said. We all know and we all feel for this pain. You guys are in my prayers for eventual peace and acceptance....it's so hard. If you want to, let her know that we are here, we care for what she's going through. Your strength as a friend is so important, and I know how strong you are. Stay with faith, my friend.Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted June 2, 2008 Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 Oh Kay as I posted on another page I am so sorry and we are all here for you and love you dearly. You all will certainly be in my prayers.Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 2, 2008 Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 Dear, sweet Kay ~ I am so very, very sorry . . . In all your efforts to take good care of your friend, please remember to take good care of you, too. You are in my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted June 2, 2008 Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 KayC, I'm thinking of you and your friends during this terrible time. Please remember to take care of yourself. I'm so sorry. Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty Posted June 2, 2008 Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 So sory to hear Kay. She's lucky to have a friend in you.Take care...Scotty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackietnd1 Posted June 2, 2008 Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 Kay, I am so sorry to hear about your loss, please remember to take care of yourself as Marty said. Much Love and Prayers to you and your friend.Jackie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosanne Posted June 2, 2008 Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 Dear Kay,I am praying for your friend and for YOU! I know this opens up so many hurts for you too. You are in my thoughts and prayers.Rosanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyG Posted June 2, 2008 Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 Kay,I'm sorry you and your friend have suffered this loss and I pray God will grant you strength, enduring faith, and peace. It's a blessing for Virgie that she has you to help and support her, because she really needs someone who cares at this awful time. And I praise your courage in being there for her; in addition to the painful memories it resurrects for you, it's also causing you fresh pain. Yet, you didn't hesitate to make yourself available as a source of support. That's the kind of thing real friends do for each other.My heart and my best wishes go out to you and Jim's family.KathyG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted June 2, 2008 Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 Kayc,I am so so sorry for the loss of your friend Jim. Please know that I will keep you and Virgie in my thoughts and prayers.Hugs & prayers, Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfarah Posted June 3, 2008 Report Share Posted June 3, 2008 Kay,I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Please stay strong for Virgie and for yourself just remember we are all here for the both of you. I will keep you both in my prayers. Love,Marlene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 3, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2008 Thank you all for your kindness. I feel like I've aged this week and Virgie looks it too. We are all pretty exhausted right now. I haven't had time to let myself properly grieve, it'll have to wait a while, right now I feel like he's not gone, he's going to come home any time and I'll walk in the door and see him at the computer or call and chat with him. It's hard. I talked to Virgie about this site but she handles things differently and says it's "not her thing" and she chooses to try to remain stoic and not talk about it so she won't cry, she's big on faith, and as unhealthy as it is to stuff it, I have to let her do it her way and just be here for her should she ever want to talk. I've availed myself to her in any way and am respecting her wishes.I love you all and appreciate your prayers!KayC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeann Posted June 3, 2008 Report Share Posted June 3, 2008 Oh Kay I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend. That's all you can do is be there for Virgie and you are an awesome friend to allow her to do things in her own way and time. Take care of you too in all of this and don't forget to make some time for your own grief.leeann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusky Posted June 3, 2008 Report Share Posted June 3, 2008 Kayc,I know this is a difficult time - and my thoughts are with you - as always,John - Dusky is my handle on hereLove you Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBob Posted June 4, 2008 Report Share Posted June 4, 2008 KayC,Sorry for the grief upon grief for you.Virgie is numb right now. She may well not be able to stuff it in a couple of weeks, or a couple of months. She probably has to put on an act to maintain her "faith credentials" too but she may well be better able to let go of that BS around you when the time comes. You will not judge her to be lacking in faith. She is lucky that you are wise enough to just be present for her.Hang in there,--Bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubleJo Posted June 5, 2008 Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 KayC: My condolences to you and your friend. DoubleJo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2008 Thanks, it's been a tough week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Kay, I am at a loss for words for all that is happening to you, though all this you maintained your strength and love for her, bless you my friend, Love,William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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