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If You Could Have Just One Hour


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If you could have your spouse/partner/significant other back with you, in good health, for one hour, how would you spend the time? I am missing Janet a lot this evening and this question just popped into my head.

There are so many things I would like to do with Janet – making love, taking her out to a restaurant that recently opened, taking her to hear some live music, visiting with our best friends, asking her some of the countless questions I have pondered since her death, and so on. But with just one hour, I would like to spend the time at home with her and our sons. Not doing anything special, just snuggling on the couch, talking, watching TV, eating popcorn, hopefully hearing the laugh and seeing the smile I miss so much – just a typical “boring” evening at home.

How would you spend your hour?

Mike

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I too would spend it at home. My first thing would be just to get a BIG hug to last me after my hour was gone. I would just love to touch and be touched and regain the smells of him that I have lost besides looking into his eyes as we talked. I still don't think I'd let him touch my feet, but I hope he would ask and OH, accidently touch them. Then I could hear his laugh again. I'd be selfish but might consider letting him see the rest of our immediate family only the middle half hour, but I want the first and last 15 minutes to ourselves.

Most of all I would hope the battery in the clock would run out so my hour would go on.

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Mike,

I would spend it exactly the way you said you would, except I would add in there one of his fabulous neck, shoulder and back rubs that he would always give me that would cause me to crash sound asleep within minutes ! What a good question to ask ! But damn now my neck hurts ! LOL

Love,

Wendy

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Just to sit there at home and look into those eyes and say "I Love you" one more time and to know that she heard it. I would love to sit there and just talk about all that has happened in the last 2 1/2 years. To smell her hair and be able to run my fingers through it. To have that long embrace where you are standing together just hugging each other as tightly as you can. I know in doing so I would just break down and cry from missing her.

Love always

Derek

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Well dificult answer sooo many moments of happines missing that I dont know where to start.Our boys are missing Him so much but I would be selfish spending the time in his arms.I used to put my arms around him and hold him tide andYiany was laughing calling me my litle octapus wont you let me go?I would not let him go.Yesterday was 26 months and I dont feel any healing.I hope for all of us a better year.Your far away friend TENY

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I would want him to hold me and lay my head on his chest, I always loved that...and of course, make love...but how do you let go of them after an hour? I would never want to let go...God would have to take me with him. Of course, we would spend it at home, where we always loved to be...his "home in the clouds" as he always called it.

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Jack and I would spend the whole hour in whatever way he would select. He had always been the one “in charge” of so much of our life I would imagine I would let him decide this hour as well. That being said – I would guarantee it would be spent at home on the sofa with Dusky (our Dog – I am bringing him back for this hour as well) talking and eating popcorn.

What a delightful image – to think about how to spend – just one more hour with Jack.

Thanks for posting this thought provoking topic.

John - Dusky is my handle on here

Love you Jack - and Dusky

http://findingmybananabreadman.com/

"Finding My Banana Bread Man - a journey through mourning"

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Mike what a wonderful question..I like you and everyone else.. I want to make love to him and spend a few minutes alone and then I would have my kids come over and he could meet his two beautiful grandsons...hold them and kiss them and tell them and our kids how much that he loves us all..and then just curl up and cuddle and one hour would just not be enough..god a whole life time would be enough...just to hear his voice and his laugh would mean more then I can put into words..thanks Mike it is something to think about...Gail..

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What an extremely difficult question. The first 10-15 minutes would be sheer heaven as I would be able to stare into here eyes again and hold her so close and tell here how much I love her and miss her. I would feel her soft skin and take in her sweet smell. Holding her would be euphoric! The next 45-50 minutes would be almost torture as I knew I was moving closer to losing her again forever. Don't get me wrong--I'm not saying I wouldn't want another hour with her. There's just so much I'd like to say and do and that damn clock would be running so fast that I'm afraid our time together would be but a blink of an eye. Now... if I knew that I could have an hour with her every year, that would be like the most heavily concentrated, super-special, out-of-this-world vacation that I could ever imagine. I'd work 90 hour weeks 51 weeks a year in anticipation of having that one hour in that last week to make it all worthwhile! :rolleyes:

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I think if I had just one more hour, I would sit in our living room with our son and relish that time together. We only had three weeks after he was born and none of it was without (loving but always there) family. I crave that feeling of family that I will never have and barely had a chance to savor. To sit on the couch snuggled in his arms holding our baby as an infant or watching his favorite movie now (at 3yrs old) would be simply heaven. It's the little things that hurt the most still now. I love the little things and try to remind myself to cherish those every chance I get.

Thanks for bringing this up....this is one kind of hurt that no one else but you guys understand and although the intensity lessens, will never ever go away. I have found after three years that thinking of things such as this are happy sad moments....:)

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This is so hard, but I think if I had one more hour with Jimmy, I would first introduce him to my daughters. I know that he would love them and they would love him. I would then spend the rest of the hour wrapped in his arms with my head on his chest, talking and absorbing all the strength that his hugs contained. He gave the most awesome hugs, they were strong yet at the same time they were gentle. I would do anything for one more of those hugs right now!!! :wub:

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Sometimes on the weekends after I worked real hard during the week and got up early on Saturday I would take a nap in the afternoon. I don't have any children, but I have two cats. I would just lay down for about an hour or so with the TV on and my cats would join me. If anyone has animals, especially cats, they love to get close to you when your sleeping. Alex, sometimes would do the same. We would just lay there, with our cats, cuddling and talking about the day or what we were going to have for dinner or where we were going that evening. This was just one of our special times together.

Jeanne

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one more hour? I would love that! He was a special man and loved everyone. Sometimes I was jealous of the time he gave to others when I wanted him to myself. I miss the hugs most of all. The way he would rub my back and caress my hair. I am still in the early stages of grief. He passed away on Dec 26, 2008. Not even two weeks yet. It hurts so bad sometimes I just want to lay down and join him. Donna

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Hi Everyone,

Wow Mike what a wonderful though provocking question. I would just love to smell Lawrence and hold him once more and of course make love.... :closedeyes: , I would also want to be selfish and have him to myself however Jadira our 5 year old granddaughter would have to have some time as well....

What a thought....not sure if I would like this the more I think due to the fact that he would just have to go home all over....

Keeping the Faith Today

Jackie

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Dear Mike,

I would start by hoping that the hour was when daylight savings time ends and I could set the clock back another hour! There are a million ways I'd want to spend time with Bob. If he could come back with Zeus, our husky, as I'm sure they are together, we would take a family walk. Then, I'd let him tuck the kids in at night and snuggle a bit with them. They never got to say good-bye to their dad. (We refused to let go of the hope that he would be okay.) He would love to hear their laughs and their crazy stories. Then it would be off to bed ourselves. I can just imagine the little chuckle he had getting into bed and reaching for each other. It was heaven on earth. We would talk for hours, just touching and holding. It was the one time of our day when all was right with the world and we knew we were where belonged, in each other's arms. Just thinking about it makes me smile. Thanks, Mike.

Kath

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Thanks, everybody, for telling how you would spend your hour. Isn't it difficult to choose among thousands of things we'd like to do with the precious ones with which we shared so many loving and joyful moments?

Donna, I am sorry for the loss of your husband - less than 2 weeks ago! You will find many gentle, caring spirits here who understand the pain you are feeling. Many have been on this road for a while, while others like you are just getting started. It helps to talk about your thoughts, fears, and questions, so please feel free to share them with us. This group has surely been a great source of comfort for me in the six months since my wife's death. I hope you find healing here, as well.

Mike

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  • 3 weeks later...

I would love to spend an hour with my mother. I

feel I got cheater out of time with her. They called me at work on fri Sept. 5, 2008 and told me my mother tuch a turn for the worst. I left work righ away. I was with my mother from fri till she die on mon sept.8,2008. On sat. Sept. 6 she went into a comba/ I stayed they and talk to her and held her hand. On sund sept. 7 watch the bears game with her. She was a big bears fan. I old her what was going on and scream and yelled. I now know what my mother went through when my father die 14 years ago. She never got over his death. I will never get over my mother death. Everything is going wrong for me since my mother die. Than to make it worst, my aunt die on Dec. 21,2008. Which was her motherd birthday whish is my grandmother. I'm sure glad I found this web sit. All the people here are very nice and have help me a lot. Thanks for all your prays and best whises,

God Bless,

Russell

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Hi All,

If I could have someone back for one hour, I would have my mom back and her and I would sit side by side on the couch and cuddle the whole time... If anything it is my mom's cuddles that I have missed the most... So that is what I would love to spend that hour doing... Take care Shelley

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Ok, I hate to be a "party pooper" here but at first I thought how great it would be to have that hour and Mike's idea of an hour of just being together would be great.

Now,.........I would turn down the hour. Why? Because to lose Lou all over again would just be too much to bear. I would only want the hour if it could have been added to the time before he ever had that heart attack.

My year anniversary is coming up on Wednesday. Maybe that is why I just can't seem to think of anything positive to say! Sorry everyone!

Rosemary

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Rosemary - please don't be sorry for voicing what you feel so deeply. Your one year anniversary is a huge and painful step. Not that I know what the hell I'm talking about, i'm only at 6 and a half months!! I sometimes hesitate to post, because i just can't get around this ball of emotions. Rosemary - i'm wishing you a day of peace and memories that are soothing rather than ones of anguish. I'm hoping that your Lou will be there, with you, to give you hope and love. I'm thinking of you, friend - Marsha

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Hi Rosemary,

Yeah, when you put it that way I do not know now if I would do the hour as well... I would love an hour of my mom's cuddles again but letting them go would be horrible all over again... It has been almost four years for me but I have days like today that it feels like yesterday... So I never really thought of it when I posted before but yeah maybe I would not take the hour... Shelley

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