Looking For The Positives

[weaksoul]

Hello friends, Let's keep this thread going. I don't have much positive to share, however, coming back to this forum is a routine for me. I think all Grieving souls are somehow connected. Each experience you share is cherished/lived/reimagined by every other grieving soul...God bless you all.

[kayc]

I still look for a positive in each day. Some days I have to stretch to find something, but always I do.  It's the practice that changes you...living in the present, gratefulness...

Yesterday Iris called from the coast (my neighbor)...that was a positive. To be thought of and missed.

[kayc]

My positive is today we made it on our whole walk! (Day nine of foot injury.)

[Margm]

My positive was a sandwich with pimento cheese.  My negative was, I can have cheese in small amounts, but 0/none pimento.  I added another cross in front of my necessity.  (I think I have thirteen), unlucky number.  I said to it, I promise God, I will never eat pimento again.  Sometimes you can get by with things, sometimes not.  

A big positive:  A fire hit one of our transformers and we were informed it housed Minden's grid. (Whatever that means).  My sister, on oxygen, was a nervous wreck.  We are having ALL over 100 degrees weather, Louisiana is humid, she cannot get outside.  We were told the whole city (about 11,000 to 12,000 people, were going to be without electricity, imminent, for unknown period of time.  We don't live in the old timey dog-trot houses with high porches, high ceilings, trees all around.  Some of us now live in apartments where we do not open the windows.  We keep up with updates on the computer.  Just told us no outages were planned.  With the spring storms, some of those big, nice houses had those big trees fall on them and destroy them.  They were w/o electricity for weeks.  Makes you wish for that sweet cool mountain air.  I guess that comes with the negative of forest fires and smoke.  But for now, we have been granted a reprieve and the A/C is working fine.  So, that is a positive.  I remember waking up to damp sheets in the morning when we had no A/C, but window fans blew in the cool morning humidity.  Those were good days.  

Hope your ankle keeps doing better and better.  There are so many "down" days, we do have positivity sometimes.  

[weaksoul]

7 hours ago, kayc said:

My positive is today we made it on our whole walk! (Day nine of foot injury.)

Wish you a speedy recovery. 

[weaksoul]

7 hours ago, Margm said:

My positive was a sandwich with pimento cheese.  My negative was, I can have cheese in small amounts, but 0/none pimento.  I added another cross in front of my necessity.  (I think I have thirteen), unlucky number.  I said to it, I promise God, I will never eat pimento again.  Sometimes you can get by with things, sometimes not.  

A big positive:  A fire hit one of our transformers and we were informed it housed Minden's grid. (Whatever that means).  My sister, on oxygen, was a nervous wreck.  We are having ALL over 100 degrees weather, Louisiana is humid, she cannot get outside.  We were told the whole city (about 11,000 to 12,000 people, were going to be without electricity, imminent, for unknown period of time.  We don't live in the old timey dog-trot houses with high porches, high ceilings, trees all around.  Some of us now live in apartments where we do not open the windows.  We keep up with updates on the computer.  Just told us no outages were planned.  With the spring storms, some of those big, nice houses had those big trees fall on them and destroy them.  They were w/o electricity for weeks.  Makes you wish for that sweet cool mountain air.  I guess that comes with the negative of forest fires and smoke.  But for now, we have been granted a reprieve and the A/C is working fine.  So, that is a positive.  I remember waking up to damp sheets in the morning when we had no A/C, but window fans blew in the cool morning humidity.  Those were good days.  

Hope your ankle keeps doing better and better.  There are so many "down" days, we do have positivity sometimes.  

Thanks for sharing your experiences. And it's good to hear that you have got your A/C working again. 

[Widow2015]

On 7/31/2023 at 12:02 PM, weaksoul said:

Let's keep this thread going. I don't have much positive to share, however, coming back to this forum is a routine for me. 

weaksoul:  Like you, coming back to this forum has become a routine.  I remind myself even though I don't have my dear husband with me anymore, I did have almost 51 years with him.  Daily I am reminded how much he loved me with so many happy memories.  On some days I get down missing him but am reminded I once had a good life.  

8 hours ago, Margm said:

My positive was a sandwich with pimento cheese.

Oh, my goodness Marg, you made me smile with your positive food choice.  Pimento cheese sandwiches on white bread was my mother's favorite so I grew up eating pimento cheese sandwiches.  Might have buy one of those little round jars of pimento, some cheddar cheese and get out the cheese grater.  Is the pimento a problem for you because of the acidity?  

2 hours ago, weaksoul said:

My positive is today we made it on our whole walk! (Day nine of foot injury.)

Kay: Good to see your walk is improving.  Some days even the smallest positive is what it takes to get us moving forward. 

Dee

[kayc]

Marg, I'm so sorry you're going through the sweltering heat and were w/o electricity!  I hope it wasn't off long enough to lose your food.  That's one of my great concerns.

I signed up for ladies retreat yesterday, it's near the end of Sept.  Hoping we don't have evacuations then. They held a mtg about the fire ten miles away, but it started too late for me (7:30) and I needed to be elevating/icing my foot and was asleep by then. Have been keeping in close contact about the changes in the fire. So upset they let this happen again, I guess it's the Forest Service' way of doing things now, third summer of hell.   Too smokey to go out and enjoy anything. I wear a mask, they say that doesn't help but I don't have a respirator.  Not my goal to live to 100 anyway.  I do my best.

I can't have sandwich bread unless I make it out of almond flour so no pimento/cheese sandwiches for me.  I hope you enjoyed it!

Today I go to the doctor about my foot. Had to return the compression socks from Amazon, they were crap, ordered some new ones, here's hoping. Found on WM but they had no way to indicate size so found the same ones on Amazon and they were on sale! Silver infused, cost more so hope they're better.

[kevin]

Been catching up in the Safety of my home after an eventful Vacation....minor Automobile issues,( flat tire, broken belts, and power steering oil leak,) extreme heat and Forest Fires.....Lots of Pool Time, 2KM walks to and from Garage, Beach, and the Dog park daily....Fruit stands were a big hit, I concentrated on Veggies....After everything  said and done , the Wife had me book the same everything next year...Kay, so sorry to hear about the Foot, sounds like your on the mend...

[kayc]

And II hope and pray next year there will be no fires to come home to. Sounds like you're having my life hits lately, praying it all settles down for you, Kevin.  

[Margm]

Nice to hear from Kevin.  Sounds like he is keeping very busy.  They first scheduled us off electricity for an unknown amount of time.  My sister lives off oxygen now.  The heat here in Louisiana (and lots of other places) is hard to take.  You cannot raise your windows, even at night, you let in the heat (and yet we all lived at one time w/o A/C.)  They were telling us days, but our little town of close to 12,000 kept us updated on the social networks.  Finally settled on fixing it at night, for the comfort of the citizens and the electric workers.  I bought a large amount of camping equipment to keep cool, fans (loads of D-cell batteries), lights, (not risking heat of candles).  Turned A/C down so house would stay cool as long as possible.  They had it fixed in three hours.  My sister went to my son's with an almost stop at the ER, anxiety mostly.  I picked her up yesterday morning.  She was able to get the oxygen cylinders and the backpack for her trips outside her apartment.  She feels better not smoking, cannot use the patches.  But her anxiety will make her smoke.  I can say what not to do, but I've never had this addiction.  My once beauty contest winning sister is down to 90 pounds and fighting to live, and I am 10 years older and am not a spry chicken anymore.  Shorter and double the weight. 

 

[kayc]

Wow! Why did they turn the electricity off? Ours does that when we have fires so they won't get sued if they start one.  Of course that means I lose all of my food. It's good you live in a place you can buy that stuff, I don't.

I know, my sister Peggy smoked. Polly was buying her patches and yet Peggy was smoking, I caught her...I didn't want Polly wasting her $ but decided to stay out of it...hard, because Polly doesn't live here so she wouldn't catch her, Peggy was sneaky that way.  It's a hard addiction to break.  After she died I was cleaning out her place and found other stop-smoking stuff from years before, she hadn't told me she was trying to quit.  Makes me wonder how many times she tried.

Was so proud of Gwen for quitting.  I miss hearing from her, I know it was getting harder and harder for her to check in.

[kevin]

Marg, I smoked for about 40 years, quit cold Turkey the last time Jan 2 2009...smartest thing I ever did...Great Grand daughter kicking up problems with Grand mother these days, talks back about everything....needs some old school discipline in my humble opinion....She's spending the night right now and has woken us up three times about nothing...Too old to raise another kid....On the lighter side ,been on line looking for a new set of wheels.....

[Margm]

Mama called cigarettes "her friends" and they were the only friends she had.  She had an old bumper sticker "I smoke, and I vote."  I cannot tell you the many times she tried to get me to smoke.  Smoking would help me lose weight.  Smoking would make a smaller baby and childbirth would not be as bad.  Marcy weighed 6 pounds, Mama smoking.  I weighed 8 pounds w/o Mama smoking, and I nearly killed her.  Both of mine were 8 pounds 2 oz.  I tried twice to smoke but inhaling hurt my lungs so bad, I didn't try again.  Mama always said she'd buy our cigarettes.  I had no desire.  Marcy has emphysema so bad she has to quit coughing to breathe.  She agrees she feels better w/o them but cannot quit them.  I can do nothing.

 

[kayc]

I never did smoke, have enough with the fires so close and breathing in all that smoke.  My mom smoked when she was pregnant, hence I was born a preemie, two months early, got down to 4 lbs something.  

A new fire started 1 1/2 miles away, already 40 acres as of 4pm last night Salmon Fire, no idea what it is this morning.  Hoping to not get evacuated again...

[MartyT]

[kayc]

At evacuation level 1, my son  helped me with CalTopo, 2 miles from my  road.  Iris aleady left

[kayc]

100 acres as of yesterday, Iris came home. Spent a day updating my laptop, haven't used it since the last evac, that was a pain! Microsoft way too invasive, so is McAfee, uninstalled it but it seems like a virus that just keeps popping up! I have my own antivirus and will not let them invade my computer! Putting my info onto it was tricky, you think you're putting your E drive files onto the C drive and lo and behold it's switched it around!  (God do I love my windows 7 PC! Going for world's record on keeping it going)  Had to rebackup my PC onto the E drive and try again, crossing fingers, think I have it done now. Spent the rest of the day packing.  Every time I reach for ANYTHING now, it's packed!  My new comment is, "Where is my____?"  (hand lotion, checkbook...)

Positive is It is done!

Now to eat everything in the fridge before they make us leave!

[Widow2015]

5 hours ago, kayc said:

Positive is It is done!

kayc:  You are amazing.  There are days I wish I had never heard of a computer.   I was born in 1941 and was in my 50's when I was introduced to computers.  I was eager to learn and was only allowed to turn it off and on.  The IT Dept. did all the nitty gritty stuff required for updates, etc.  Now, every aspect of my life seems connected to computers and am driven insane when an email informs me the system has been updated and I have to try to learn something new.  😵‍💫

Hoping you don't have to evacuate.  Dee

 

[kayc]

My first office job (I was 16) was supposed to be an office trainee for a school three hours/day. The person training me was full time.  Only she quit her job before the first day so I show up, no one to train me, I had to figure it out and instead full time to do it like she had, I had 3 hours/day to do it in!  It was the best thing that could have happened to me, it forced me to do it on my own.  I'm nearly 71 now but it's a long ways from their computer (OTIS) that took up the whole wall and the Gaztetener machine (it's so long ago they don't even have a correction for my spelling!) that got ink all over the room, Ditto machines, and yep, typewriters!  They still had Ditto machines when my daughter was in school, I remember helping out in the classroom and having to get some made...they always used them long past when they should have replaced it.  

And I don't blame you a bit if you hate Windows 10 or 11, so do I.  I used one when it had just come out and I was still working but I got sick of Microsoft and went back to Windows 7, and am going for world's record with keeping it going.  I didn't care for Windows 98, too many errors in it but liked XP, it was a lot like Windows 7.  And I find I'm not alone.  We older people want something that is less complicated and gets the job done, not something that is continually bugging us.

[Widow2015]

kayc: I think I have Windows 10 on my laptop that I purchased 2 years ago.  I couldn't say for sure to tell you the truth.  I just stay in my own lane the best I can and try not to hit the wrong key on the keyboard when I am asked to update.  You surely have the smarts and the knowledge to speak computer language.  I don't think I could learn at my stage of life.  I too remember the Ditto machines and that wonderful aroma from the fluid that created a copy from the original attached to the big drum.  Funny how our "olfactory memory" works. LOL

I totally agree we "mature" people don't want complications to deal with but seems like it is always there. Dee

  

[kayc]

I'm not that computer savvy, they've changed a lot. And Microsoft and McAfee come after us unbidden!

[kevin]

I turn 71 in three months and after my road trip decided to purchase new vehicle......basically the same thing but 95000 less miles on it...This one has only 35000 miles....Dodge Journey.........and I bought new Lap Top ($350 back to school sale)........Seriou News...Great Grand Daughter living with us weekdays'.the alternative was family services and I suggested we are good for a couple of months as long as all are in cooperation.....will review things later with in put from Child consultant therapist who she just started seeing.....

[Margm]

Good luck Kevin.  My granddaughter has been seeing them off and on since she entered her teens.  Now none.  Their message was always "you've got to learn to love yourself" but with the mental violence that comes toward her, she only feels safe in her room.  She has not gotten out of the house in at least three months.  She has tried all the mental pharmacy. She is no threat to me; she is one of the sweetest persons I've ever known.  At age 24, I can do nothing.  She is so hauntingly beautiful that all she has to do is go out in public and strangers will try to talk to her, they even compliment her, and that scares her so much.  I am too old to "put my foot down" and an institution would destroy her.  I can only hope I live long enough to see her get help.  And, I do protect her.  No more mental violence, and that source can still find ways to try to get a kick in and follow her on social networks, if she even gets on one.  So she hides from them too.  She has one good friend, has been for years, but she lives a couple of hundred miles away now.  Her bio-mom took all street drugs until she was born, and when adopted (by daughter) she was Billy's greatest love for a grandchild.  She has stayed with us most of her life, but when she was not, the mental abuse was enough to keep her in hiding from people.  I have no answers and if suggested, we've already been that route.  One day I will be gone, and she says she will live on the streets.  I know what is there, and that would destroy her completely.  Drugs and alcohol are not part of her life.  Her bio-parents lived that life, both of them. Really, some parents do not understand, their own mental problems can destroy the most beautiful things.  I wish you and your wife the best and so glad you are there to help your wife. 

[Widow2015]

Congrats on the new car, Kevin.  My son is wanting to buy something to drive to work that is more comfortable getting in and out of.  Right now, he is driving a little diesel Chevy Volt when diesel was more economical.  He's 50 years old and says it's not so comfortable anymore.  

Hope the decision concerning great granddaughter works for all.  Dee