Mary1063 Posted August 6, 2013 Report Share Posted August 6, 2013 Shan is fighting a very tough battle with pneumonia and now a kidney infection. This is resulting in the engraftment process "stalling" because of these infections as well as needing more blood because of dangerously low platelet counts. She is on so many medications for the infections, for pain, for blood clots, and now to hopefully prevent Graft Verses Host Disease. She is critically ill. She is rarely awake. All I am thinking is that she is not wanting to fight because Leo is now gone. I can't pretend to understand what she must be feeling, even though she is very critically ill. The heart feels what the mind cannot grasp. I sat with her in ICU in an isolation room this morning. All suited up. Gloved. And masked. She did not wake. However, I spoke to her and expressed everyone's prayers and love. I told her to please keep fighting because she has so much left to do in this life. And Leo will forever be with her. Just as her Mother is still with her. Whether she heard me or believes it, I can only pray. Her brother will be flying back from CA on Friday. We are all very scared. I never thought this battle would be so difficult. Please please keep praying for a miracle. Thank you from our entire family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted August 6, 2013 Report Share Posted August 6, 2013 Mary, We are praying, you have it. And for you too. I am glad you talked to her. My sister was on the brink of death and in a coma for 4 1/2 months...she later told us she could hear us, she just couldn't respond. Her brother can't get home soon enough! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted August 6, 2013 Report Share Posted August 6, 2013 Mary, I did not have the privilege of talking with Shannon as I joined the site after she became so terribly ill. I just want you and she to know what an inspiration you both are and I am keeping you in my thoughts and hoping for that miracle. She is such a fighter. I'm sure Leo is watching over her and perhaps he will let her know that it is not her time yet and that she must stay with all of you. Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary1063 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 6, 2013 Thank you both. Kayc, That truly is miraculous that your sister pulled through. I have been trying to read many posts here. Shan lost the love her life. I, myself, do not know that pain. I cry for all of you who have had to suffer losing the loves of your lives. I have to have faith that Shannon will pull through this. Because I want to help her cope with Leo's death. I need that too. Blessing, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted August 6, 2013 Report Share Posted August 6, 2013 She has already shown us she has strength and is a survivor, we all want to help her through this. Her post before she went to the hospital was inspiring to me. My sister's accident was when she was 25, she turned 71 yesterday. She was left quadriplegic, and without a voice...her vocal chords were severely damaged in their emergency tracheotomy, and that seems to be the worst permanent damage. She's learned to get by in her wheelchair, but without the ability to communicate either written or orally, it's tough. Sometimes it's really hard for us to know what she wants. She amazes me that she doesn't get frustrated, she accepts life as it is...but it took her years to find that contentment. If all that wasn't enough, it killed her three year old boy, her fiance split, and her four month old baby was taken from her because she couldn't take care of him anymore...my parents later adopted him, but not until after his natural father (her ex) had kidnapped him and held him hostage in another country for a year, where he didn't speak the language and he had a truly wicked stepmother...he was just four years old when that happened. The things Donna has survived are most amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary1063 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 6, 2013 Oh God bless her and you and your family Kay. It amazes me the immense struggles and pain so many suffer, including grief, and become miracles in the process. With my reading here, it is very clear that EVERYONE here, while all unique journeys, are true miracles. I have got to try to lay down and rest. Things are catching up to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted August 6, 2013 Report Share Posted August 6, 2013 My very dear Mary, I am still with you during this very trying time. Thank you for letting Shannon hear you tell her that we are here and praying. I can’t imagine the sadness in your heart right now. I am glad that her brother is coming back on Friday. This is such a difficult time for the family. All I can do is hold Shannon in my heart and pray for your family. I hope that you have an advocate there who can talk with you and the family. I hope that the doctors are keeping you informed as to her prognosis. Please know, dear Mary, that you have been right there for her every second. Rest when you can. I agree with you when you say that all here are "true miracles." We are here for one another. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted August 7, 2013 Report Share Posted August 7, 2013 Mary, my dear, please know that we are all praying for Shannon and for you and your family as well. I am so, so sorry for the seemingly unending torture you've all been through. I hope you are taking as good care of yourself as you've been taking care of others. You are one amazing lady, but as you say, things are catching up to you, and you simply cannot go on like this. You need to rest, and you need to attend to your own needs for a while. Trust that the hospital staff will take good care of Shannon in your absence, and get away from all the illness there, it only for a little while. We are here for you, and we will continue to be here for you, just as long as you feel a need for our support. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted August 7, 2013 Report Share Posted August 7, 2013 Adding my prayer for Shannon, this is heartbreaking news, thank you for letting us know how she is doing. Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest babylady Posted August 7, 2013 Report Share Posted August 7, 2013 sending positive thoughts. arlene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted August 7, 2013 Report Share Posted August 7, 2013 Dear Mary, We hold her in our hearts and minds--and you as well. May you and yours be well. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted August 7, 2013 Report Share Posted August 7, 2013 Dear Mary and Shannon, I am holding both of you as close as I can in my heart, and hoping you can feel the love pouring into you from here. I can only add my prayers to those of everyone else, and pray as well that you know you have all our prayers with you each moment. Much Love, fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted August 7, 2013 Report Share Posted August 7, 2013 Dear Mary, Shannon is certainly in my prayers, and also you and your family. I am so very glad that she has you with her. Keep talking to her, I do believe she will hear you. Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
srm Posted August 10, 2013 Report Share Posted August 10, 2013 Shanon, My best wishes for healing are still flowing to you. Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary1063 Posted August 10, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2013 Shan is still fighting a gravely ill battle. On top of no immune system and failure to accept healthy stem cells yet, she has been fighting pneumonia, been on several antibiotics, on a ventilator, and yesterday she went into cardiac arrest and they quickly determined that the cause was a pulmonary embolism. She is more stable in that respect, with medication on board to dissolve the clot. This occurring while already being on heparin since her high dose chemo. She is indeed in a coma. Has not woken in several days. It's tearing my heart out to see the multiple iv's, the tubes, the wires, the ventilator. If she is giving up... Because she knows if she survived that Leo won't ever be here again... Then I can't take that. Maybe I'm being selfish here, but I knew Shannon before my brother knew her. I loved her before he did. She was my sister before she was legally my SIL. So this is killing me. Her vitals are stable tonight. I guess for now, that's all we can ask for. Going to attempt to get some sleep... My husband rescued a three year old dog today because they were going to put him down for no reason! He is a terrier chiwawa mix. His name his Pierre. He's very sweet, shy, and gentle. If Shan pulls through... He will be hers'. Going to cuddle with my husband and Pierre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted August 10, 2013 Report Share Posted August 10, 2013 Oh Mary, I am so sorry to hear about this struggle Shannon is going through. There are no words I can say to you that will comfort at a time like this. All I can do is be here for you. My prayers are with your family. It breaks my heart that Shannon is suffering so. It seems like she is trying so hard to go to Leo and her mom. Are the medical and support people there helping you and the other family members through this? I hope her brother is in from California. Pierre is a cutie. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted August 10, 2013 Report Share Posted August 10, 2013 Dear Mary, dear Shannon, We are all thinking about you and sending healing and good wishes your way. I am so sorry that there is no better news right now, but I am thinking of you and sending lots of love. I am so sorry to hear of all Shannon is enduring right now. I hope you, Mary, are getting the rest and support you need as well. You are a wonderful and loving dear to be with Shannon as you have been through your own grief as well. Blessings, fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted August 10, 2013 Report Share Posted August 10, 2013 Mary, dear, I am so sorry. Our prayers for Shannon continue, but our focus now is on you as well. Please make room for yourself in all of this, and take good care of you. Your new pooch is adorable. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted August 10, 2013 Report Share Posted August 10, 2013 Dear Mary, I very much second Marty's advice and underlying concern. You need to take care of yourself if you are going to be able to continue to take care of her. She remains very much in all our prayers, minds, and hearts, as do you. Be well. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted August 10, 2013 Report Share Posted August 10, 2013 Oh Mary, Pierre is adorable! And I hope Shannon awakens to get to know her Pierre. You are uppermost in my thoughts and prayers right now, you have had so much loss, I know you don't want or need another one. We are here for you. Hugs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary1063 Posted August 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2013 Hi friends. It is 2:00 in the morning and I got a call a bit ago that Shannon woke but was just utterly disoriented. In turn she was fighting the breathing tube and somehow yanked out one of her IV's. She was sedated because they need to keep that breathing tube in for now. Apparently she really wasn't that awake, rather sort of in between consciousness. I don't know, I obviously was not there. On another note, I'm feeling terrible missing Leo so much. I know Shannon took such good care of him, but I did too. I was very much a caregiver for both he and Ziggy. I feel like a lost little puppy without my big brothers. Speaking of puppy... Here are a couple pics of Pierre from yesterday. Our grandsons love him. As do I. But he is for Shannon... But she has to get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted August 11, 2013 Report Share Posted August 11, 2013 Dear Mary, This happens sometimes with patients coming out of comas. It is scary as hell--I went through it at one point with Jane. I am truly sorry for your losses. We are all worried about you as well as Shannon and hold you both in our hearts. Be well. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted August 11, 2013 Report Share Posted August 11, 2013 Well even if she wasn't fully awake, still it's good isn't it that she made an attempt towards consciousness? Your little Pierre is so adorable, I can see why your grandsons loves him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted August 11, 2013 Report Share Posted August 11, 2013 My prayers and heart go out to you. Compound shocks, repeated thunder, no available shelter. There are many loving arms here. I come here to cry, and read beautiful thoughts by compassionate people. I am helped by the support others show others, as I am most pained by the harm others cause others. Nothing is worse than helpless waiting. There is nothing to do but breathe in and out. Remember to eat and above all else, protect your sleep, by whatever means necessary. All love, Greta Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted August 12, 2013 Report Share Posted August 12, 2013 Hello Mary, Stopping in to let you know that I think of you and your family daily. I know that you will let us know how Shannon is doing when you can come on line. Please give her my love and whisper to her that we are all thinking of her. How are you doing? I can't imagine how very difficult this has been on you. Know that we continue to be here for you and your family. Hugs Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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