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Hospice of the Valley announces this year's Light Up a Life, set for Sunday, November 22, 2009: Light Up a Life, an annual remembrance event sponsored by Hospice of the Valley, will be held at 6 p.m. on Sunday, November 22, 2009, at Steele Indian School Park, 300 E. Indian School Road, Phoenix, Arizona. The event honors loved ones through a photo montage set to music. People also can hang paper ornaments with their loved one’s name on holiday trees. Live music and speakers also will be part of the program. To submit photographs, contact Hospice of the Valley via telephone at 602.530.6992 or via e-mail at LUAL@hov.org. Photos must be received by Tuesday, November 10. The event is free and open to the public.

Is it appropriate for people to memorialize a cherished companion animal? Some may think that conducting rituals, funerals or memorial services for dead animals -- and setting aside special days to remember them -- is a frivolous waste of time and money, and those who engage in such practices must be eccentric and strange. But the fact is that elaborate funeral arrangements and lasting memorials have been used to honor beloved departed pets for thousands of years. Whether for animals or humans, death ceremonies and rituals help meet our needs to support one another in grief, acknowledge the important role our loved ones played in our lives, honor the memory of our departed companions, and bring meaning to our loss. The International Association of Pet Cemeteries has designated the second Sunday of September as National Pet Memorial Day. As you think about paying tribute to your animal companion on that special day, feel free to summon up your memories – they’ll comfort you and help you keep your animal’s love and presence in your heart. You can think of what was special about your pet, and reminisce with family members or others who knew your friend. Look over old snapshots. Talk about the funny or silly (or annoying!) habits your pet had. Such reflections will help you plan your own unique ceremony of remembrance, and will help you express and work through your grief as well. You can make a special place in your home, yard or workplace that acknowledges and honors your companion’s life – a place where you can go (or be) and remember your lost friend. Don’t be afraid to be creative. The death of your pet is a natural event and an occasion for the honest expression of your feelings and your values. You can honor your pet’s memory in whatever way you find meaningful, and I hope you’ll use this space to share with all of us some of the creative and individual ways you plan to celebrate National Pet Memorial Day this year. To learn how two very special men (one a beloved movie actor, the other, my own father) chose to remember their beloved dogs, see my article, Memorializing a Cherished Pet.

Rebecca, dear, we're so sorry to learn of the death of your darling little son Alexander Scott, and you have our deepest sympathy. You will find yourself among kindred spirits here, as many of us share the experience of perinatal loss. Several years ago my own baby son David Luke lived just three days before he succumbed to an Rh incompatibility, after what we thought was a normal pregnancy. I hope you will pay a visit to the Death of an Infant, Child or Grandchild page on my Grief Healing Web site, where you will find an extensive list of helpful resources. I hope, too, that you can feel our collective arms around you as we hold you gently in our thoughts and prayers.

Dear Sara, I’m so sorry to learn of your loss and the tragic circumstances surrounding the death of your dad, and I hope you’ll accept our deepest sympathy. You don’t say how old you are, so I’m not sure if you’re a high school student or in college (you said you started school the Monday after your dad died), but I know that returning to classes so soon after this tragedy must have been very difficult for you. If you’re like most teens and young adults, you don’t want to feel different from your friends and classmates -- but having a death in the family most certainly can lead you to feel very different from your peers. Not wanting to feel singled out as “the one whose dad drowned,” you may be tempted to keep your dad’s death to yourself and avoid talking about it with anyone else. But the death of your dad is way too big a burden to be carrying all by yourself. Does your school know what has happened to you and your family? If you haven’t already done so, you might ask your mother to help you plan what to say to your friends about all of this. If they don’t know what happened, and from your point of view, they may be responding only to false rumors and they won’t be able to offer the understanding and support that you need. It’s important that the school principal, your teacher or your school counselor know what’s going on with you, too, so they’ll be in a better position to understand your behavior and guide you to the help you need and deserve. In the meantime, I’d like to point you to some resources that I think will be helpful to you. (You might ask your mom or another trusted relative to explore some of these resources with you.) What you are thinking and feeling in the wake of this loss can be very frightening and confusing, especially if you’ve had little or no prior experience with death in your family. Learning what normal grief looks like and feels like is important, and can help you to understand better what may be happening to you right now. Please take some time to follow these links: Bill of Rights for Grieving Teens, http://www.dougy.org/help/bill-of-rights National College Students Support Network, http://www.studentsofamf.org/ Bereavement Information for Teens, http://www.hov.org/teen_grief_program.aspx Grief Education Association’s Page for Teens, http://www.childgrief.org/teenspage.htm Coping with an Illness or Death during College, http://studentsofamf.org/-_Coping_with_an_...ege-pid-59.html The Healing Place: Grief Support for Children and Teens, http://www.thehealingplaceinfo.org/index.html Helping Teenagers Cope with Grief, http://www.hospicenet.org/html/teenager.html Loss During Young Adulthood May Make One Feel Old, http://opentohope.com/hope/dealing-with-gr...e-one-feel-old/ More Than Sad: Teen Depression, http://www.morethansad.org/ Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers (Book by Earl A. Grollman) Teens Grief Support and Resources, http://www.griefworksbc.com/Teens.asp Teen Grieving the Death of a Parent, http://www.selfhealingexpressions.com/copi...ers_death.shtml

My dear Lucia, I think your idea is simply wonderful, and I'm sure your donations will touch the hearts of many other families being served by Hospice of the Valley. Bless your sweet heart, and thank you so much for sharing this lovely idea with all the rest of us.

Dear Ones, You will appreciate this Open to Hope video featuring Dr. Tom Attig (noted author, speaker, philosopher) discussing "Remembering." Be sure to listen to the beautiful song at the end . . . Read more about Thomas Attig on his Grief's Heart Web site, here: http://home.earthlink.net/~tattigca/

This just in from Carla: Dream Chat is ON! What: DreamsR4Healing Online Chat Where: LND Chat Room, http://www.loveneverdies4u.org/chat.html When: First Thursday of the month Date: Debut night Thursday, October 1, 2009 Time: 6:00-8:00 pm Mountain Standard Time Format: 6:00 -6:30 Topic Presentation then a short break. From 6:35 -8:00 Questions and sharing. Debut Night Topic-- Dreams: A Path to Healing – Have you ever had a dream that made you question your sanity, your morals, your desires or your fears? Dreams of being chased, going back to school, falling off a cliff or driving a car without brakes can be quite unsettling and we quickly credit a wild imagination for such scenarios. For the bereaved, these universal themes merge with memories and images of their deceased loved one, creating strange symbols and bizarre landscapes that fuel the fires of grief. I invite you to learn to use your dreams as a tool for healing the losses in your life. Tap into the wisdom of your inner world and join me on the first Thursday of the month for DreamsR4Healing! Questions? Send me an email at carla@dreamingkevin.com Visit Dreaming Kevin Become a fan – join Dreaming Kevin Facebook page. Coming soon discussion topics and news, and events.

A mother whose daughter completed suicide shares her thoughts about the guilt she has carried in the wake of that tragedy: Guilty, Your Honor: The Burden of Guilt after a Suicide By Karyl Chastain Beal Published: July 29, 2007, PopularArticles.com Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper. Have you ever done anything so horrible that you would prefer to hide in a dark closet for the rest of your life than have someone find out you did it? Have you ever done something so bad that even remembering what you did causes you to hyperventilate and shake? I have. I've made too many mistakes in my life. I should have done better. Sometimes I envision myself standing before a judge who wears a long black robe, with my head hanging low in shame. I am holding tightly to a large bulging sack. The judge with the long black robe says, "Hold your head up to answer me. Who are you?" I answer him quietly. "I am a mother, a wife, and a teacher." "Were you a good mother?" the judge asks. I notice his eyes are staring impatiently into mine. "No, Your Honor," I reply, shaking my head sadly. "I was not a good mother." The judge says nothing, so I continue. "I tried my best, but I made too many mistakes. I brought them to show you. They are all in this sack," I explain, straining to push the sack closer to him so he can see it better. The judge looks at my sack and mumbles to himself, "Looks like this woman's got a ton of bricks here." Then, he sighs and says, "Hmmmm - How do you plead?" "Guilty, Your Honor," I whisper. "Guilty." The reality is, however, I carried that huge sack of guilt with me from the moment the officer told me that my teenage daughter, Arlyn, took her life. I found the largest sack I could and opened it. Then, I threw bricks of guilt into it, one by one. In the sack, I placed bricks for each memory I had of the times I had raised my voice to my children. I placed more bricks in for times I punished them for making childish mistakes. If only I had been more patient, - In the sack, I stuffed bricks for each time I was too busy grading papers or washing clothes or talking on the telephone to give my children, the most precious people in my life, my undivided attention. If only I had kept my priorities straight, - In this sack also, I added bricks for memories of many times when I had failed to listen to my children with my heart. If only I had been wiser, - After Arlyn died, I walked around carrying my sack of guilt; it was a painful reminder that some of my actions could have contributed to the depression that led to her death. I did not pull the trigger that hot August day, but I felt as if I did. To me, Arlyn's suicide provided tangible evidence that I had failed in the most important mission of my life - mothering. I deserved to have to spend the rest of my life lugging a heavy sack of bricks around. This was almost a complete turn-around from the attitude I had before Arlyn's death. Prior to August 7, 1996, I had confidence in myself; I had achieved the goals I set, so I thought I knew it all. If there'd been a Miss Arrogance pageant, I would have won the crown. But I was knocked to my knees when Arlyn died, and I would never stand tall again. Any crown on my head was shattered. After Arlyn died, the world no longer made sense. I doubted every thing I had ever learned, my beliefs, and my values. Most of all, I saw myself as a huge failure in life. So here I was, trying to muddle through each day, attached to this huge burdensome sack of guilt that I could not and would not put down. Ughhh! My sack of bricks was so heavy: the bricks representing all the mistakes of my life were so heavy that I'd need the help of a bulldozer to move it, at least. Most of the bricks in the sack had to do with Arlyn: sins of commission and sins of omission. Arlyn had killed herself, and the guilt I felt was consuming me. Every day after I woke up, I'd stand at the foot of the huge ugly load and looked up at it. As much as I hated it, I felt connected to it. I sometimes reached out and stroked the bag up and down with one hand, never letting go with the other. It was MINE. Day after day, I stood there, holding on to my sack full of bricks of guilt. Friends would walk by and shake their heads at me. "Let go of your guilt, Karyl. It's not your fault!" they'd say, often shaking their heads in disgust. "You're wasting your life," others would say. "Arlyn would not want you to lug that sack around forever." I tuned them out. What Arlyn would want or would not want did not matter. She was not here to speak out. Sometimes, I'd try to explain how much I needed to hold on to the guilt, but they'd argue louder. So then, I closed my ears and turned away. They could not understand. And so it was. Life went on for those around me, and I was alone. Except that I had my sack of guilt to keep me company. But then one day, for no particular reason, I reached into the sack and pulled out one of the bricks. It was dated July 5, 1996. It said: I went to Germany, so I was not here to take care of Arlyn during her last month of life. I thought about it. If I had been here, would I have noticed that something was wrong with Arlyn? It's possible I would have. At the same time, it's more probable that I wouldn't have noticed anything. Arlyn was a master at deception, it seems; She'd been hiding her pain for years. So what makes me believe that she'd suddenly have changed and become transparent? My tears began to fall then. I felt warm tears streaming down my cheeks. They were for Arlyn: Arlyn, my gentle little girl who was trapped in her own dark world by something beyond her ability to comprehend. It hurt so badly to remember. So so badly. But then, the tears began to fall faster, and they felt even hotter against my face. These tears were different; they for me. I, too, was trapped in my own dark, lonely world, lugging this heavy load of guilt around. I, too, was trapped by something too complex for me to understand. Did I really deserve the additional weight of the brick dated July 5, 1996, just because I went to Germany? Was I a terrible mother because I took a vacation that I had dreamed of for years? In my heart, I knew that I had not neglected Arlyn by going on a vacation. In my heart, I knew that I did not need that extra brick adding weight to the overloaded sack. But could I bear to toss it out? Would the world fall apart if I removed it from the sack? I thought a while as I ran my hands over the brick. It felt rough, hard and cold. Yes, I needed it. No I did not. Yes, I needed it. No I did not. Yes, I needed it. No I did not. Finally, I placed the brick on the ground beside me, and waited. I heard no loud crashes of thunder; the earth beneath me did not tremble. I looked up at the sack I'd been lugging. It really didn't look any different. I tried to push it; it didn't feel any lighter, but I knew it was. I had lightened the load just a little bit. I took a step forward, and I felt a gentle breeze brush my cheek. A butterfly flitted by. Quote for the day: Guilt is the source of sorrow; 'tis the field, th' avenging field, that follows us behind with whips and stings. ~ Nicholas Rowe Karyl Chastain Beal at arlynsmom@cs.com Mother of Arlyn & Ron Humble student of life's lessons lifted up by the wind beneath my wings, Arlyn. January 25, 1978 - August 7, 1996 Writer, teacher, reluctant traveler Article Source: http://www.PopularArticles.com/article28338.html

Tash, dear, I too am so very sorry to learn of the brutal murder of your beloved brother. Your experience reminds me so much of something I heard recently on National Public Radio. In this fascinating and moving interview, author and poet Kathleen Sheeder Bonnano vividly describes how she expressed her grief through poetry following the brutal murder of her daughter at the hands of a boyfriend in 2003. Many topics are covered, including the effects of traumatic loss on one's view of the world; what to say (and what not to say) to the bereaved; frustrations she endured in dealing with the media, the police and the criminal justice system; coping with and working through her own need for revenge and retribution; and ultimately finding her way through the most devastating of losses, toward transformation, transcendence, and hope. Sprinkled throughout the interview are opportunities to hear Kathleen reading some of her amazing poems. If you'd like to listen to the program, you can do so here: Slamming Open the Door You might also find this book helpful and informative: No Time For Goodbyes: Coping with Sorrow, Anger, and Injustice After a Tragic Death, by Janice Harris Lord. Just click on the title and you can read Amazon's description and reviews.

My dear friend, I'm so very sorry that it is the sudden, unexpected death of your precious son that led to your finding your way to us, but I hope this place will be for you (as it is for the rest of us) a source of support and unconditional love. I understand completely your longing for your son and your search for something, anything to fill that empty hole in your heart, and I appreciate the pain of your not hearing his voice over the telephone saying, "Happy Birthday, Mom!" It is yet another loss, added to all the rest of him that you've been forced to give up against your will. I cannot tell you what to do for your son's birthday two weeks from now, but I strongly encourage you to acknowledge it in some way that is meaningful to you. Please don't wait until the day is upon you to decide what to do with it ~ Even if you decide to do nothing at all, at least let it be because you planned it with that intention. If you have the energy to do so, you might consider creating your own personal ritual of remembrance, as a way to honor your son and lend expression to your grief. Personal Grief Rituals can be any loving activities that help you remember your boy, and give you a sense of connectedness, healing and peace. Creating and practicing personal grief rituals can also help you release painful situations and unpleasant memories, freeing you to make your memories a positive influence in your life. You might try writing an article, an anecdote, a story, a poem, a song, a letter, an obituary or a eulogy for your son. You could buy a very special candle, decorate it and light it in honor of your son, or memorialize him in cyberspace by lighting a virtual candle at Light a Candle Online. Find a book on coping with the loss of a loved one, and donate it to your local library or school. Ask the librarian to place a label inside the front cover inscribed “In memory of [your son’s name].” Plant a tree, bush, shrub, garden or flower bed as a permanent growing memorial to your son, and mark the site with a memorial plaque, marker, bench or statue. Write a special note, letter, poem, wish or prayer to your son, go outside, attach the paper to a balloon and let it go – or place it in a vessel and burn it, and watch the smoke rise heavenward. Ask relatives, friends, co-workers and neighbors to gather their contributions, and put together a scrapbook or box of memories containing mementos, letters and photographs of your son. Visit the Memorials ~ Funerals ~ Rituals page of my Grief Healing Web site for dozens of other ideas.

Deborah, dear ~ Sleeplessness and restlessness are very common and normal in grief, especially at this point in your own grief journey. See, for example: Is It Normal Not to Sleep after a Death, http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&a...ost&p=32887 It’s One A.m. And I Can’t Sleep Blues, http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&a...ost&p=27228 Not Sleeping Thread & Links, http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=2561 DeStress Kit for the Changing Times, http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&a...ost&p=31046 Lost My Father Last Week, http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&a...ost&p=31716

Korina, dear ~ You said, (By the way, does anyone else look for signs or dreams from their loved one? I feel kinda hokey for reading sites on such experiences, and near death experiences. But I find them somewhat comforting.) I'm reminded of these helpful passages from Love Lives On: Learning from the Extraordinary Experiences of the Bereaved by Louis LaGrand: Seeking an Extraordinary Encounter, pp. 119-121 I tell every client who comes to me that there is nothing wrong with asking or praying for a sign that your loved one is okay. You will receive a sign when you need it most. Be patient. Persist. Be specific. Keep petitioning. Stay alert and increase your awareness of the coincidences, feelings, unusual happenings, intuitions, and good things that occur during your day. Give thanks when what you have prayed for arrives. Persistent prayer cannot be denied. In particular, ask your Higher Power to allow you to have a visitation dream. Many spiritual counselors believe that dreams are the easiest way for spirits to communicate with survivors. You might also combine your prayers with meditation. If prayer is talking to the Intelligence, meditation is listening to that Intelligence. Meditation – opening your mind and heart to the messages of the universe around you – will put you in an ideal state of consciousness to receive an Extraordinary Encounter . . . if something happens to you during your prayer or meditation session, and you are not sure how to assess it, ask yourself four questions: •Is this the kind of thing my loved one would do? •What is my intuitive feeling about the event? (Notice what comes into your awareness – what thoughts, physical feelings, emotions.) •Has this event brought the feelings that love has been given and received? •Most important of all, did the experience bring peace? If the answer to the last question is yes, you should feel confident that you’re being led by a power greater than yourself, regardless of what name you attach to it. I firmly believe that peace and a sense of belonging or connectedness go hand-in-hand, and that the road to true healing lies in following that peace. How to Strengthen Your Inner Life, pp. 159-172 1) Feed on daily inspirational themes. 2) Recognize your thought traps. Oppose your inner critic with your inner cheerleader. Challenge negative thinking. Use words like “I vow” or “I commit.” Save worrying for a pre-set “worry time,” and quickly turn your attention elsewhere. 3) Develop contemplative skills – a daily stress-reduction routine to take time out from reality. Includes disconnecting (phone, doorbell, etc.), guided imagery, meditation, imagination, breath work. 4) Use nature as a form of therapy. Study details; feel the peace of beauty: look for the hidden face of your Higher Power in the sky, the clouds, the sun, the smell of grass and flowers, the ocean, the mountains, a work of art. 5) Nurture your intuition – the instant grasping of reality; a lightbulb going on as you find a solution to a problem; the gut feeling that you should take a specific course of action . . . Coping well with loss always involves rising above your previous level of awareness, and intuition, which is part of your spiritual intelligence, will help you do just that. Listen to your inner voice and the feelings that often accompany it. 6) Keep a journal. Whether you fill it with personal thoughts and feelings, memories, or prayers, a journal can be an effective means of enhancing your inner dialogue and your overall spirituality. 7) Strive to imprint and maintain powerful memories. What you choose to recall drastically effects how you live your life in the present: how you remain in contact with deceased loved ones, how you learn from the past, and perhaps most important, how you use good memories to bring you lasting joy and empower your life. -- Source: Love Lives On: Learning from the Extraordinary Experiences of the Bereaved, by Louis LaGrand, Ph.D., © 2006 In addition, please know that you are not alone in looking for such signs. This topic has been discussed many times in our forums; see, for example, these posts and threads: Do You Really Think We’ll See Them Again? http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&a...ost&p=29414 Contact With Deceased http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3513 After Death Communication http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=2580 Could This be a Sign? http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=2872&view=findpost&p=20923 ://http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.p...st&p=20923 Allison’s Lessons http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&a...ost&p=20875 Is It True? Will I See Her Again? http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=910&view=findpost&p=3472 ://http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.p...ost&p=3472 Loss of a Best Friend http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&a...ost&p=19626 Lisa Williams Medium and Clairvoyant http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&a...ost&p=17083 Induced After Death Communication http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&a...ost&p=16773 I Swear I Could Smell Him http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&a...ost&p=15856

Dear Ones, This announcement comes to us from authors and bereaved mothers Sandy Goodman and Carla Blowey: WHO: Carla Blowey, board member of Love Never Dies 4U ; author of Dreaming Kevin: The Path to Healing and former editor and writer for Living With Loss Magazine. WHAT: Dream Chat on Love Never Dies 4U (LND4U), http://www.loveneverdies4u.org/chat.html WHY: Education, discussion for using dreams as a tool for healing. Carla believes that everything we need to know to process our grief, life losses and transitions is accessible within us. Using our intuition, prayer and discernment, we can interpret our dreams to reveal the guidance and wisdom needed for our personal healing. FORMAT: Opening night, first hour would be an introduction to the process. Second hour discussion, questions and sharing. Subsequent nights would feature half hour topic and remaining time for discussion, etc. TIME: Once a month – 2 hours max. WHEN: Don’t know yet…if enough of you are interested, I’ll talk to Sandy Goodman about setting it up in the chat room of LND4U. I’d like to start by October. INTERESTED? CONTACT: Send email to carla@dreamingkevin.com and type DREAM CHAT LND4U in the subject box and tell me if you’re interested . . . EMAIL ME!! I appreciate any ideas or feedback you have on how this might work for LND4U. === Carla Visit Dreaming Kevin Become a fan – join Dreaming Kevin Facebook page. Coming soon discussion topics and news, and events.

Thanks for the reminder, Mary Linda!

Shelley, dear ~ there is a candle burning for you and your dad on our Light a Candle site . . .

Brian, dear ~ If you've read Laura's post in this thread, I hope you've also read the message I wrote to her, and followed the links I suggested as well. It is never too late to do the work of mourning, and I hope you will continue to work with your EAP counselor (or with another counselor or therapist who specializes in grief, loss and transition, as Boo suggested) as you continue to work your way through each of these losses. Both your parents have died, but you have not, my friend. Your life still stretches out before you, and I hope you will find the support you need to live it to the fullest. You are worth it, you deserve it, and we're all pulling for you. See also Dad Dying at a Young Age, http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?showtopic=3755

Diane, dear, I don't know how you found us, but I'm so glad you did. You are in what I would call a severe case of "grief overload," and I hope you will give yourself the gift of reaching out for support ~ not only here, where you are always welcome, but to your family physician, the local chapter of your Alzheimer's Association, a hospice organization in your community, your religious affiliation if you have one, to a special friend or neighbor, or to a grief support group or a grief counselor who will work with you individually. You need a safe place where you can take your grief and talk with someone who will listen to your stories of loss, so you won't feel so alone as you come to terms with all of this. It's just not realistic to think that you can "handle" all of this all by yourself, and it isn't necessary that you even try. See the article I've attached to this post (from the Alzheimer's Associaiton) entitled Grief, Mourning and Guilt. AlzheimersGriefMourningGuilt.pdf

Boo, dear, please feel free to post any information you think would be helpful to our members ~ You know that I check out everything that's posted on our site anyway, and I certainly know that I can trust your good judgment. I appreciate very much your willingness to prowl the Internet looking for treasures, just as vigorously as I do As for my attending the second National Conference on Widowhood, that will very much depend on where it's being held, and when . . .

My dear Kath, as a writer too, I have to tell you that I completely understand how this must feel like yet another death to you, and I'm so, so sorry to learn this awful news . I agree with the advice you've been given here ~ Please do consult with a computer person before you lose all hope that your information is forever lost ~ and do let us know how all of this turns out for you . . .

Thank you for sharing this important information, Boo ~ I am in contact with Michelle Hernandez too (see National Conference on Widowhood, http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&a...ost&p=26063) and we will continue to keep everyone informed about her wonderful efforts.

Boo, thank you so much for doing this research for Kathy (and for others who may be reading this)! I think we must have the most caring, attentive, generous and compassionate members in the entire world, and I am so grateful for each and every one of you Kathy, dear, I just discovered another site that you may find to your liking: http://connect.legacy.com/group/lossofachild Be aware, however, that if and when you join any online discussion group, you are wise to investigate before you participate. See, for example, this article: Finding Grief Support Online, http://opentohope.com/hope/dealing-with-gr...support-online/

A new blog from Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation: Seven widows, seven days, seven different perspectives on the journey of widowhood. This is a place to hear other widow's voices,discover the power of your own voice once again...and to find comfort in the fact that you are not alone: http://www.widowsvoice-sslf.blogspot.com/

Teny, dear, you are always in our thoughts and prayers ~ and thank you, dear Walt, for bringing this to our attention . . .

Boo, dear ~ An online search tells me that the poem was written by British poet and painter David Harkins.