MartyT

Kimi, dear, no, you never know when something will trigger a "STUG" (sudden temporary upsurge of grief), and when it hits, it does indeed feel as if you've lost your beloved all over again. You might appreciate this article about grief bursts, Grief Happens: Taking the Risk to Bloom After a Loss. (When you get to the page, scroll down a bit until you come to the article.)

Update from Carla: DREAM CHAT IS ON! DEBUT NIGHT OCTOBER 1, 2009 What: DreamsR4Healing Online Chat Who: Carla Blowey author of Dreaming Kevin and former editor of Living With Loss Magazine Where: Love Never Dies chat room When: First Thursday of the month Date: Debut night Thursday, October 1, 2009 Time: 6:00-8:00 pm Mountain Standard Time Format: 6:00 -6:30 Topic Presentation, then a short break. From 6:35 -8:00 Questions and sharing. Debut Night Topic: Dreams: A Path to Healing – Have you ever had a dream that made you question your sanity, your morals, your desires or your fears? Dreams of being chased, going back to school, falling off a cliff or driving a car without brakes can be quite unsettling and we quickly credit a wild imagination for such scenarios. For the bereaved, these universal themes merge with memories and images of their deceased loved one, creating strange symbols and bizarre landscapes that fuel the fires of grief. I invite you to learn to use your dreams as a tool for healing the losses in your life. Tap into the wisdom of your inner world and join me on the first Thursday of the month for DreamsR4Healing! Questions? Send me an email at Email me www.dreamingkevin.com

Dear One, I, too, am so sorry to learn of the death of your beloved Trixie, and can only imagine the pain you are feeling now. I hope it brings you some comfort to know that here, you are among others who understand. In addition to the posts you'll find in this forum, which will assure you that you are not alone, I invite you to read some of the articles you'll find on the Pet Loss Articles page of my Grief Healing Web site. You'll also find a listing of Animal Communicators here.

Kay, dear, my heart is filled with joy for you, and I join with all the members of our GH family in wishing you and your new love every happiness. We all ~ every single one of us ~ have learned as much from you as you have learned from us, and we are grateful beyond words for your continuing presence on our site. Our family would not be as special as it is without you, and I hope you know how respected and admired you are ~ and how very much you are loved.

Kathy, dear ~ You may find this post helpful: http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?showtopic=4261&view=findpost&p=33136

Mary, dear, my heart goes out to you, and I hope you can feel the loving support of our Grief Healing family as you continue to travel this journey. This kind of loss carries its own unique set of challenges, and I'm glad to learn that you've found a way to connect with others in your community (through the Out of the Darkness Walk) who will relate to some of what you're experiencing. There are dozens of resources aimed at suicide survivors; you'll find many of them listed on the Suicide Loss page of my Grief Healing Web site. I hope you'll take some time to explore some of them. Meanwhile, know that we are thinking of you, and holding you in gentle thought and prayer.

Michelle, dear ~ It is occasions like this one that bring to mind the word, "bittersweet." Of course this will be a difficult day for you, but a very special and important one, too. Think of it this way: You got through your mother's funeral with dignity and grace, and you will get through this, too. See if you can find some symbolic way to bring your mom with you into this wedding celebration ~ I hope it brings you comfort to know that we'll all be thinking of you tomorrow, and are today wishing you a beautiful and memorable weekend . . .

I just received an answer for the Grief Bibliography page and it's all fixed now! Yay!

Me, too, Deborah ~ Happy "Let's celebrate YOU" day from all of us!

Maylissa and Boo, all I can say is that I'm right there with you, in the same boat, paddling like crazy I tried to edit our Grief Bibliography page this morning, and now half of it shows up as HTML code. I worked on it for nearly two hours and cannot come up with a fix. I have submitted a "request for help" ticket to get this resolved, but I'm still waiting for a response As for your question, Maylissa, I do think that your "About Me" information will show up above your signature, but all you can do is try it to see. Just make sure to copy your signature to your clipboard before you make any changes, so you'll still have it in case it does disappear when you "publish" your bio. Click on my name and "About Me" tab, and you'll see how it looks there. The bio is above, with the signature underneath. And remember to just breathe

Also, make sure you read the posts in this thread: Holidays, What Do I Do? http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?showtopic=4308&st=0

To share your Profile information, see if this works for you: Click on your own name. You'll find yourself on your Profile page. Notice the "About Me" tab. Click on it. On the upper right side of the page you'll see "Edit My Profile." Click on that. A column appears on the left of your screen entitled "Change Profile Information." Select "Change About Me Page." In the box that appears, type in your Profile information. As for the "Insert code snippet" option, I still haven't figured out what that does. Is there a computer-savvy member out there who can answer this question for us?

Kathy, I'm so sorry ~ Please accept my deepest sympathy for the death of your precious White Sox . . .

My dear friend, I'm so sorry to learn of the death of your beloved companion, and I hope you know you are among others here who understand and share your pain. I invite you (and others reading this) to listen to an interview about this different grief that I hope you'll find helpful: Help with Pet Loss If for any reason you're unable to connect to the site to listen to this program, please do visit this page of my Grief Healing Web site, which will point you to some other useful and informative resources: Pet Loss Articles.

Okay, Boo, we're nominating you to be our official guide to this new rendition of our Board. I'm so glad that somebody understands all this new-fangled stuff

I'm having the same issues you are, Mary Linda! The only way I can learn all the different features is to fiddle with them until I can figure them out. I have great empathy for you and all of our members, as I am no more skilled at this computer stuff than you are. Like you, I learn by doing, and sometimes I'm too rattled or too busy or too impatient to deal with all of this change Regarding the Personal Message feature, here is what I've discovered so far. At the top of the main page, you'll see your own name on the right side. Click on your name, and in the drop-down menu that appears, click on "Messenger." That will get you to your Personal Messenger files. I think the contents of your Inbox will still be there.

Dear Ones, As you can see, the upgrades to our site have been completed. Like all of you, I am learning my way around the new features, although I'm hoping they won't be too different from the previous ones. The only way to find out is to wade right in and try them! Remember that we're all in this together, and we will help one another get through this challenge, too

We'll all be praying for you, Shelley

Dear Ones, Just so you know ~ I have no idea how Jo's original topic, Too Many Issues to Cope With, became "closed" ~ but I'm glad she told us about it, and it's back "open" now. And Jo, welcome back

You are always in our prayers, Mel, and I think your precious Bob knows that you are still thinking of him and loving him, on his birthday and every day.

Dear One, I'm so sorry to learn of the sudden, unexpected death of your beloved toy poodle Midgy, and I hope you can feel our collective arms around you as we offer you our comfort and support. Since you're looking for a book about pet loss that comes from the Christian perspective, I'd like to recommend to you a newly published book that I've just finished reading: Why We Love Them So: Surviving the Loss of an Animal Friend, by Father Paul A. Keenan. (Click on the title and you can read Amazon's description and reviews.) From the book's back cover: Father Paul Keenan (1946-2008) was a popular author and columnist of soulful inspiration, veteran radio host, and priest for over 31 years. He served as a parish priest in New York City, and was foster parent, friend, and humble slave to six kitties and two dogs, six for whom he grieved. This man's writing is gentle, loving and compassionate, and his love for animal companions is palpable. I found his words very comforting and healing, and I think that you will, too. I also encourage you to read some of the articles listed on the Pet Loss Articles page of my Grief Healing Web site. See especially Loss and the Burden of Guilt.

Dear Ones, It seems to me that, when caring for loved ones who are dying, we need to keep in mind that it is their dying and their death, not ours that we are dealing with ~ and one of the most loving, selfless things we can do for them is to take our cue from them, and let them do it their way. What each of you did for your dying husbands was to love them enough to let them do it their way ~ Do you really think they are standing in judgment of you now, for the selfless and loving way you cared for them?

Maylissa, dear, it's so nice to "see" you here again, if only for a little while

Lisa, dear, I think you may be referring to the Holiday Memorial originally described by Sherry Williams in her book, Holiday Help: A Guide for Holidays and Special Days. You'll find it reprinted with Sherry's permission in this article, Including Your Absent Loved One in Family Celebrations

ALERT! To All Our Members, Invision Power Board (IPB), the provider of our Message Board, has advised us that at some point over the next few days, our board will be upgraded to a newer version. IPB cannot give us an exact day or time, but we have been advised that when it happens, it will be during the night, possibly between Monday (9/21) night and early Tuesday (9/22) morning. Please NOTE that while it's happening, there may be a BRIEF INTERRUPTION in our service, which we're told will last for a period of 30 minutes or so. (You'll know that it's been upgraded, because the board will have a different "look.") Although this brings yet another change, I'm told that the newer version of the Board will offer us greater safety and security. I'm sure it will take some time for us to get used to the new look and features, but please bear with us. We're all in this together, and I know that we will help one another figure it all out! In the meantime, I thank you for your patience!