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Has anyone had anything 'strange' happen in your house since your spouse passed?


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Good Morning Everyone

I haven't had much of a chance to post anything recently, but I do read everything. I just had to ask this question. Two days after my Rick passed, December 20, 2017, I was trying to log onto his Yahoo account. It wouldn't let me in, since I was using the password he told me months prior to use. I was freaking out, because all of our e-bills and financial stuff, and emails from friends and our then-running marmalade business, and then Yahoo linked him up to Facebook and then Messenger.  Rick took care of all the financials and contacts since he was retired, and I am still working a full time job.   In my panic, I started going through files, etc,  but nothing.  I then looked over at a dusty Rolodex on the windowsill. I hadn't looked in it for years.  Guess what the Rolodex was turned to?  Yahoo, with his new password.  I knew for a fact that was my Rick.  But in the 3 months (today) since he passed, there has been nothing else from him. Nothing. And it has made me sad to know he's no longer around. He had completely rebuilt our house from the studs up, and built our guest house all by himself, so just being in our house gives me comfort. But I was sad that I didn't feel his 'presence'.

Well, Monday I was getting ready to leave work. I now drive his Mini, which has a fob for a key. I unlocked the door, sat in the seat, and I hadn't had a chance to insert the fob into the ignition when the radio turned on all by itself!  OK, I thought, that's odd. When I got home, my sister, who has been staying in the guest house since Rick's passing, came up and said 'don't ask me what is going on with the TV and radio'.  When I leave for work, I leave the radio on for my dogs, and the TV is off.  She came up to the house about noon, and the radio was off, and the TV was on. Not only that, but nothing worked on the remote....nothing.  Turns out, the TV in the guest house did the same, and then hers changed channels all by itself. She thought there must be something wrong with the Satellite box. She then went into one of the bedrooms where all of his marmalades are stored, and she picked up a jar, and instantaneously broke into wracking sobs, out of nowhere! She left the guesthouse, thinking that Rick was there. She checked the dogs, but they weren't acting differently.

I contacted DISH, took the day off yesterday, and the technician was there for 2 hours, checking and re-checking both TV's, satellite box, everything.......he couldn't find anything wrong. He just re-set everything, and it's working fine again.  Now maybe I'm over-thinking this, but the car radio, the TV's and the satellite going screwy all at once seems strange. Maybe my Rick was letting us know he's still there.  What are your thoughts? Have you been 'visited' by your loved one?

Shoosie   AKA  Steph

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Hello Steph,

My boyfriend's precence, or coincidences, have been related to music and total strangers helping me in moments of true trouble. I believe it's his "energy"/"power", not sure if precence.

He visits me in my dreams too, but that's another issue in itself. Lately these dreams have been more focused on my need to be with him rather than him playing an active role in the dream.

He`s the love of my life. I don't know how to continue without him. I do, but clueless.

Peace.

Ana

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I haven't had anything like that happen but I do remember someone saying their wife would ring the doorbell and this was quite often.  A couple of years ago the social security office told me I'd only get $200/month, and it freaked me out (who can live on that!), it was right before a long weekend and I'd have to wait days to contact a different soc sec representative.  I was freaked out, anxiety full bore.  And that's when I felt George's hand on my back, a definite attempt to comfort and calm me, and it worked.  When I called soc sec after the weekend they corrected the amount.  But I'll never forget feeling his hand physically on my back, this was years after he died!  The effort it must have taken him!  

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Steph, several of our members have experienced what we would consider ADC's (After-Death Communications). In addition to the responses you'll receive from our members, you may find this article to be of interest. Notice, too, the links to additional resources at its base:

Voices of Experience: Death of a Friend and the Lesson of Feathers

 

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Hi Shoosie2. Man alive but did your posting grab my attention. And it can only be because I had similar experiences myself.

My wife passed on 1/1/2016, 2 months before our 41st anniversary. Being without her was tough enough, but being somewhat responsible for her death made it an even tougher pill to swallow. It became my responsibility on that day to give the instructions to take her off of life support and allow her to go be with God. Doing it was the right thing to do for her, and I would do it again. 

About 4 days after she passed, I was outdoors walking my dog. "Something" told me to look up and at a certain specific area at just the right time to see a beautiful pink and green butterfly fluttering toward my head. One thing to bear in mind about this is that this was happening on a chilly January day. Not exactly butterfly season, but there it was. Another thing that made it so profound to me was the fact that my wife's favorite colors were always pink and green. The butterfly flew 2 circles around my head and then flew away. And I immediately felt a calmness and peace of mind that lasted for several days.  I will go to my grave convinced that the butterfly was my wife just letting me know that she is okay.

My wife always loved wind chimes. After she passed I picked out one that she had always liked and hung it indoors in a doorway between my living room and a hallway. There was never even  the slightest breeze or wind current that would have ever caused the wind chime to tinkle. But on 2 separate occasions it did. Both times on days when I was really depressed and unhappy and lonely. Was it my wife? I will always be convinced it was.  

One last one. She also had a collection of lighthouse figurines. One of them played ocean related noises that was activated by movement. We always kept the sensor for it turned toward a wall because street traffic would activate it if it wasn't. There have been several occasions when this lighthouse has been activated "mysteriously". Each time it has happened have been on nights when I was having serious sleeping problems and was just miserably tossing and turning. Each time it has gone off I was laying in bed, with the lighthouse in the living room. I live alone now, so there was no one else that could have triggered it. Besides that, the sensor still remains turned against a wall as it was before. And again, I will be forever convinced that this also was my wife using the lighthouse to "visit" me. 

After these things happening to me, nobody will ever be able to convince me that spirits don't have a way of visiting and communicating.  Could it have been something else? I don't see how.

I just wanted to share my experiences with you. Maybe this will help you to feel more comfortable with what you have experienced. I have gotten so accustomed with these kinds of events by now that any more when they happen I just always feel more at peace and tranquil.

I never knew how hard grief could be until my wife passed. Using only myself as any example I can assure you that your grief will become easier as time passes. Grief is just the ugly side of love. If we didn't love our spouse so much, the grief wouldn't be nearly as tough to endure. But grief is also like a road with a lot of curves and bumps. In my case, I most likely will never get over my wife not being with me physically. I might not ever get to the end of that road until she and I re-unite for eternity. But the curves and bumps are becoming easier to tolerate. I hope yours do also.

One foot in front of the other...

Darrel

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I look for Susan's spirit and I complain to her for not contacting me enough. She says it isn't easy. Here's what I posted previously

http://www.griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com/topic/10742-just-lost/?tab=comments#comment-135485

Again, in 30 yrs sailing in Boston I NEVER had a bird land on the spreader while under power before, to say nothing of having a beautiful falcon vs a seagull.

Susan was the plant expert. I've been watering and trimming. Had no idea what to expect of an Amaryllis which was all leaves.  Now it has sent up a shoot which I think will flower. Will it be in flower on 3/31 the 1 yr anniversary? I'll take that  as a message.

IMG_3274.JPG

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I have had two very unusual birds show up at my place and stay for about 30 minutes during the last 2 1/2 years.  I want to believe they are from John.  He so loved birds and wanted to fly; loved to fly in planes.  But, I confess, it frustrates me....not really knowing.  I want something really graphic so badly, like a vision of him; then I think I would know.  If they can come or send birds, why can't they appear.  This is where I think it's all just wishful thinking.  And, it hurts so much....Cookie

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Ive had some weird things happen here, but stuff like that happened before I lost Steve.  Strange sounds and we'd find the oddest things.  Something we forgot in a drawer whose battery was dying, a new sound something would make we didn’t know, lamps that just went bonkers, etc.  I don’t feel anything that has happened since he left a sign.  Like you, Cookie, I’d have to see him and then I’d probably question my sanity.  I’m nit dissing anyone who believes because anything that brings solace is so needed.  I don’t have that so the aloneness is terribly devastating.  All I have are pictures and recordings he did and both bring pain still.  

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I hear my dad talking to me...this has been going on since he died. I never see him, but frequently hear little comments, generally some practical advice about vehicle care or something like that. It is almost always generated by him, except the time I asked him repeatedly for the combination to the keyless entry pad on his car. I was sure he could somehow tell me the numbers, but no. Eventually, I got my answer in a dream. During and after the dream I was sure it was an answer, but there were no numbers, just him showing me some little book and pointing with intensity. It took me an hour or so to figure out that he was telling me to look in the owner's manual, and there it was. But generally it is unsolicited; he doesn't directly answer questions.

Sometimes I have not understood what he meant by something and realized I had missed some reference that I felt sure he thought was hysterical - some double-entendre or reference to something really old. I have heard him several times comment that he was out on the rear deck (generally with one of my grandfathers or his grandfather), while I was out driving in the country. I had the feeling that he was saying they were lounging on the trunk admiring the scenery passing by. When I eventually looked this up, I found that this term was used in early automotive history for the lid of the trunk. I think he thought it was funny because I named his '93 Mercury Grand Prix "Bob the Tuna Boat", after hearing someone here say those cars drove like tuna boats. It would be common usage to refer to the rear deck of a boat. It seems like he is pairing up the tuna boat part from me (since he died) with a word he picked up hanging around with his grandfather or one of my grandfathers (maybe after he died).

Since my dad died I have felt really cut off from my own and my entire family's history. He was my last like to his generation and those before. I treasure the old family things I have - especially from these four men - father, grandfathers, and his grandfather with whom he lived when he was small. Some times I feel really cut adrift from my family and all of our history and ancestry. But then again, I really feel like the four of them are frequently with me, like guardian angels, keeping watch and advising at times. I am not sure what to make of some of this because my great-grandfather died before I was born, and my grandfathers both died when I was little. The older three seemed to establish contact when I started using or wearing something - like a pocket watch or a wood-carving knife - that they had used very habitually and treasured. It is an odd feeling, and sometimes it gives me the feeling that I am partly on the earth and partly with them. 

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And there was the pansies...

My husband loved growing things, vegetables, flowers.  We had a bumper crop of beautiful flowers that year, we had them in hanging planters all across our 30' patio, which is up in the air since we're on a hillside.

One year after George died, I found pansies (our special flower, he called them the smiling flower) growing on the ground under the patio, at the edge.  How they made it through being buried under several feet of snow, all the cold, etc. I don't know.  I've never had that happen in my forty years here, yet it did that year, and I believe George helped them and gave me pansies for the first anv. of his death.

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I bought an expensive printer, but I cannot remember now if it was before Billy left or not.  It had to be, I could never have gotten it to work.  I have to admit, my magic, mystic way of thinking has not returned.  "I am you and you are me" has turned into the skeptic Billy.  He was closed minded to "spirits" and I used to share mine with him, he would listen, that is all.  Our son thinks when he coded on the operating table twice opened some veil to the "other side" that I can somehow understand.  Billy couldn't understand anything supernatural at all.  First code for Scott was all blackness, scared him.  Second code was the bright light, walking with someone, not wanting to return, seeing all the people he knew, yet somehow did not know how he knew them.  He has been visited by "ghosts" and was not afraid of but one.  He can feel when a house or place is "clear." I was so happy when two people (friends) prayed with Billy at the big hospital, I saw, somehow, a lifting of his spirit, an acceptance.  Going back and reading my thoughts after his leaving, thoughts that were raw and painful, after that I ran.  I had to get away from the raw and pain.  You cannot escape it, but you can sometimes pull the gaping wound together with a Band-Aid.  It won't stay.  The wound never grows together again, but that is where the scar tissue comes in.

When I moved, we could never get the printer to work again.  Oh, I am sure there is a real reason, some reason that is explainable, but my computer savvy son and degree in computers daughter cannot get it to work.  It blinks, it sometimes comes on like it is printing a bunch of copies, but nothing else happens.  Billy could get it to working, sometimes I think he is trying.  I bought a new cheap computer to do my taxes copies.  I think I will take the old one and just plug it in by my bedside table.  I want magic, but Billy's old logic is the part of "I am you and you are me" is the part I am left with.  

I have his cremains in the beautiful wooden urn next to my bedroom.  I do not feel him there.  Sometimes I go for days without seeing it.  I used to take it with me when I went anywhere.  I feel sometimes I have become "Hard Hearted Hannah." 

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19 hours ago, Marg M said:

I think I will take the old one and just plug it in by my bedside table. 

I had to smile at this.  Only someone who has lost their spouse could begin to understand this.  I have a printer that won't work either.  I know it's capable, because if I do a test page I get these beautiful colorful flowers, but for me it won't print a dot or tittle.  I've bought new cartridges...four or five times.  I've downloaded new drivers, X amount of times.  I've troubleshooted with HP, gone on forums, tried everything, but nope.  It started with Windows 10 I think, but I've since gone back to Windows 7 and still...nothing.  I still haven't gotten rid of it, why I don't know, hoping for a miracle, extra tenacious.  

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Not computer savvy at all, just desperate.  and tenacious...very.

I got rid of Windows 10 because it gobbled all of my data on their updates.  They're crazy with it!  I'm in the mountains where they don't have high speed internet and our slow speed provider gives very little data...10.3 GB/month.  We have to be careful with what we use, can't download movies, etc.  I figure when Microsoft wants to pay my internet bill they can use however much data they want.

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On ‎03‎/‎15‎/‎2018 at 4:26 PM, Gwenivere said:

Ive had some weird things happen here, but stuff like that happened before I lost Steve.  Strange sounds and we'd find the oddest things.  Something we forgot in a drawer whose battery was dying, a new sound something would make we didn’t know, lamps that just went bonkers, etc.  I don’t feel anything that has happened since he left a sign.  Like you, Cookie, I’d have to see him and then I’d probably question my sanity.  I’m nit dissing anyone who believes because anything that brings solace is so needed.  I don’t have that so the aloneness is terribly devastating.  All I have are pictures and recordings he did and both bring pain still.  

Yeah, I feel such tremendous pain still looking at pictures and hearing his voice on a recording and I think it's because it just emphasizes how gone he is....you see him but he's not here, frozen in time; you hear the voice but where is he......Cookie

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I think that our emotions are splatted all over the place, and that will forever be so.  I found myself getting angry at Billy, and if I let myself, I will say "well, poor thing could not help it" and my mind really knows he could not.  I wonder if he would let some things that I did in our married life make him angry enough to allay some of the sorrow, but I know why I do it, and I do not want to be rational enough to deeply comprehend what I am doing.  I know, and it is my riddle to solve, that my faith in myself, in my religion, in anything else is not strong and sometimes it gets so weak I feel like someone else is thinking for me.  I cannot picture or imagine how Billy would have acted.  I somehow know, I somehow want him to have done anything that would have helped him.  He was very courageous to the point of being reckless.  And, all I can come up with is anger, then guilt for being angry.  We really are our own worse enemy sometimes.  

I know that I have read that spirits come through in the form of electric happenings.  We tease when this printer will go through its motions.  No one has to be around it.  I have hallucinated Billy for a moment at a time when I fall asleep in the chair.  I don't like to do that.  I have felt angels protected me and I have felt messages were being given to me.  Not in the form of paranoid delusions, these were actual happenings.  My rational mind wants to wipe the magic away and my irrational mind wants to accept it.  Before Billy left my irrational mind would have ruled.  Now that Billy is gone and his rational mind is left with me, that "I am you and you are me" part, I just have to give in to my irrational anger.  We had a long life together.  It was not long enough.  And, I will put the printer beside my bed, I will let that irrational old me do that.

Oh, and I will plug that printer in.  Rational me knows it won't come on without being plugged in.  Irrational me would move if it came on without being plugged in. 

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Well, my Rick is at it again!  On Friday, 10 minutes before I left work, my co-worker and I were discussing my costume for my stepson's wedding in October. It's a costume/cos-play event, and I had planned on going as the Phantom of the Opera. She gently suggested that was too dark a theme for a happy occasion like a wedding. As soon as she said that, I got her point immediately. I also was telling her how much Rick's absence is going to be felt.

I went to my car (used to be his), and the same thing happened which occurred last Monday. The radio went on before I had a chance to even get the key fob inserted into the ignition!  I think that his way of approving of my decision to change my costume. Then, over the weekend, my sister's brand new propane heater's pilot went out, and no amount of tinkering by her or I could get it to re-light. She finally had to call her stepson, and within 2 minutes, it was just fine.  Then her battery operated clock stopped working. She'd just put new batteries in it two days prior, but she put in 2 more new batteries. Nope. It didn't work at all. This morning as I was leaving for work, she came up from the guest house to tell me the clock just starting working again, all on it's own. When I called my stepdaughter on Sunday and was relaying what had been happening, she said 'OMG! Two nights in a row our TV has just turned itself off, and the remote was in a different room'.

I take great comfort in these 'God Winks', since I am sure it's my Rick letting me know he's here, just in another form. My vet was at the house yesterday giving my old St. Bernard her session of acupuncture. When I told her about Rick and the electronics, she just smiled knowingly. She said, well you know what acupuncture does, right? It re-aligns the energy flows in a body. That's what our bodies, and more importantly, what out souls are.....electrical currents. That's how neurons connect and transmit signals to each other in the brain-- through electricity, ie. energy. Then she asked me remember  'what is the first law of physics?'  And I remembered and smiled..........energy can be transformed from one form to another, but can be neither created nor destroyed.   So simply because our limited physical bodies don't have the capacity to see our loved ones, as they are energy, doesn't mean they aren't there.

I read a bit over the weekend on signs that people who have passed are trying to reach out, and one of the most common is electrical things going haywire for NO reason whatsoever. I also read that the best way to reach out to your loved one is to meditate, since it calms the mind and leaves you more open to God Winks.

This is all, of course, IMHO, but whatever the reason, I am so grateful to know he's still with me.

Have a great day, everyone, and hopefully, you'll get some God Winks, too

Peace to All

Steph

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This is something I posted in March 2016, about a year after my beloved wife Tammy died. I'm reposting it here for those who haven't seen it in the hope it will help others...

Quote

There just have been too many unusual, even mind boggling things that have happened since Tammy died to deny this. And I'm not talking about people saying "she will always be with you". Those people referring to memories and just the love I have inside for my Tammy for always. No, I'm saying that I am now convinced that she is here with me, helping me, and existing in my life here in the present. No, I can't see her. I can't really feel her presence, per say. Again, I'm not talking about looking around my house and getting a measure of comfort seeing her in every corner of the house. I'm saying Tammy is here but in a way that's beyond my comprehension. But she is here and she is helping me in ways that she can.

Before you start thinking "hmmm... they say grief is a form of insanity", let me assure you I am sane (well, at least as sane as I can be given the circumstances). Let me outline why I believe Tammy is "watching over me" and not only was she my precious angel and one and only in life, she's now my personal angel watching over me.

Tammy's wish was to be buried back in her home State of Illinois, and I made the drive to Illinois for the funeral. Not an easy thing to do... driving 800 miles in massive grief and 16 hours on the road alone. Driving along on the highway in the early AM, I drifted off to sleep... behind the wheel going at least 70mph. Seconds later, I woke up to a loud sound. It was the sound my car bouncing off a concrete construction barrier, lifting up in air a bit and landing. All I could think was "Oh no, my car is wrecked and I won't make it to my own wife's funeral!!" The car surprisingly seemed to still be driving ok. I pulled off at the next rest stop to survey the damage. And ... not a scratch!! Just so you know, I'm a car guy. I've run a major car website and forum for a decade and a half. I know cars. This was impossible. Not a scratch? And the car was tracking true meaning my alignment was still good. Again, it just can't happen. But it did. How did it happen? Tammy, that's how. She knew how anal I was about the car and she certainly needed me to give that eulogy! This was my first thought that somehow Tammy still was with me.

A few days after that I gave more thought to the incident. I was very lucky that I feel asleep on the stretch of highway that had the construction barriers up. Had they not been there, I would have continued to veer into oncoming traffic in the other side and most likely been killed.

Back at home in Maryland, I was on the phone with my niece and the subject of our daughter Katie came up. Katie is a bit of a sore subject for me. She decided to leave home at 18 to live in Illinois. Tammy was not doing well at all at the time and her leaving caused Tammy much anguish and sadness. Anyway, I started to get upset on the phone, telling my niece that Tammy felt like Katie sort of abandoned her and how hurt she was. All of the sudden the ceiling fan in the bedroom beeped and turned itself on... at the highest speed! That scared the "you know what" out of me. It certainly got my attention. Immediately I knew it was Tammy telling me not to get upset. I literally had goose pimples from this incident and told my niece I had to call her back. Fans don't just turn themselves on and if there was a freak electrical thing it wouldn't turn on at the highest speed. Clearly, Tammy wanted me to calm down.

Since then there have been other things that have happened. I often lose my remote controls and when I'm ready to give up I ask Tammy if she knows where the remote is or can help me find it. EVERY time, I find it seconds later. Same thing happened the day I thought I lost my keys. I always panicked when I lost something like that. When Tammy was living she'd always be the voice of calmness and assure me I'd find them and she was always right. And sure enough this time, I found the keys.

Shortly after Tammy's death I was working on the front yard. This unusual butterfly appeared. It was following me everywhere I went. I'd never seen anything like that before. Aren't butterflies supposed to represent rebirth after death?

Today was the day that convinced me Tammy, my angel, is here in the present. We have a blind on one of the windows in our house that's sort of been stuck in the 3/4 closed position for like 3 years. I've tried on a seemingly weekly basis to get it to close completely, to no avail. Today, for the first time, I asked Tammy if she could help me fix it. I thought to myself if somehow, some way, it got fixed Tammy truly was here. So I tried to adjust it the same way I always did. This time I felt a lot of give as I pulled on the cord, and it released to the closed position. I dropped to my knees and sobbed. "Why can't I see you?".

No I can't see her. but, I'm convinced. My sweet, darling, most perfect Tammy... the love of my life is still in my life. Just in a way that's beyond my understanding.

 

 

 

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Thank you for sharing that again, Mitch.  It's kind of perfect timing, perhaps it'll be assuring to Tom.  I also received what I considered reassuring comfort from George when I received some stunning news from the social security office (they told me I'd only get $200/month!) and I had to wait a long weekend before I could call back and get information from a different person at the social security office...my anxiety was extreme as you can imagine, and I felt George's hand on my back, it felt as physical as I'd ever felt it.  I don't know how he pulled it off in spirit form, it must have taken him a great deal of effort, but I appreciate it all the more because of that!  

I also have experienced those "unexplainable" things...like the pansy that spontaneously erupted in the ground below our patio (which is on stilts, being on a hill) a year after his death.  I've never had that happen in the 41 years I've lived here, before or since, because I get way too much snow for anything to make it through the winter!  I truly believe it was George helping it and view it as a sign because it was OUR FLOWER, the Pansy!  Early in our relationship we started out by writing to each other and I remember him writing me about "the smiling flower" and I finally figured out it was the pansy he was talking about...it always had special meaning to me from that moment on.

So many other things...he went out with a triple rainbow amidst a tremendous thunder and lightening storm...it must have shaken the heavens with his entrance!  And in those early days following his death I can't tell you how comforted I was by the appearance of rainbows inexplicably when it hadn't even rained.  And the dragonflies and hummingbirds, also special to us.  Believe...

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I have posted about this before but will again as this subject has come up. My husband died on Dec 13, 2016.  Two days before Valentine's day my daughter and I was at his grave cleaning and I began raking his grave trying to remove some of the small rocks that covered it , being that the dirt from the grave was very rocky. As I raked a small rock got stuck in the tines of the rake. When I removed it there it was, shaped like an almost perfect heart that just fit in the palm of my hand. It made me and my daughter very happy. Perhaps that was my valentine card that he would have given me had he been alive.  

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MBBH nice, didn't realize you were sailors. Susan would approve of your sail trim and she had high standards. Here's Susan reading on the Cal 33 moored in Ptown harbor. Our favorite thing was cruising with just the 2 of us living on the boat. I managed some daysailing with friends last summer but not ready to share the intimacy of cruising on a small boat with anyone but my first mate. Huge loss.

Flower is spectacular. I think will still be out 3/31.

RE "Anything strange" please see http://www.griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com/topic/10938-real-or-what/

It has had a huge impact making me feel closer to Susan's spirit and believe we'll be together again. 

 

 

100_0451.thumb.jpg.32fa0388a3f6fd55369381a0493995ed.jpg

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