Mom

[kayc]

It's hard because Peggy didn't have a POA or anyone on her bank account, it would have been so simple to do!  Because of that it'll take going through probate court to get my brother appointed executor.  Julie's coming to take her pictures and Mick to get her documents.  I've been over there all week, cleaning out kitchen cupboards of all the expired food, tons of it!  Haven't even started on the garage, it'll take someone who is stronger and knows what this stuff is.  We have nowhere in town to donate to, it would take forever to take a trunk full into town (100 mile round trip) and with gas prices so high, it's costing a lot just to go to her house and back!  Found homes for the walkers and wheelchair (two of them new, one like new).  Can't find check registers.  Her record keeping was horrible anyway and you couldn't read her handwriting.  No "files," just stuff dumped into a cupboard or laying around the house in odd places.  I feel pretty good about what I've accomplished so far though.  Next week is busy for me, I can't keep doing this and family isn't helping, I put the plea out there today for someone to work on getting an estate place to come in and take care of it.  Lots of clay pigeons and decoys in the attic (my friend's husband looked as I can't get up there), I'm told they're worth something.  Estate proceeds going to the nieces/nephews.  Real estate value $209k but may be less when physically assessed. 

My hands are killing me.  My brain is gone, last night a friend called and I sounded like an incoherent babbler.  I'm still in shock.

 

[Tachi]

Hang on. Just tell the family they have to help. Take good care of yourself through this. It will take some time to process and deal with the shock of it. Hoping they will help you, they have to. Is there anywhere in town that you could donate it to that would come get it? Or maybe a resell shop that would come get it for a fee? Sounds like such a mess, but I suppose it always is. I knew Dad could go at any time but that didnt help. I'm just now coming to grips that he really is gone.

I had a dream about Mom the other night. I had moved I think. Moved in with a couple. No idea if it was supposed to be my bro and his wife. I was unpacking and found Mom had packed me three manual can openers. I was worried she now didnt have any so i went to call her. But it didnt work. And then my cellphone turned into a hashbrown and crumbled all to pieces. Maybe my brain is processing that I cant get in touch with her anymore. 

I'd ask how you are but I can hear it in your words. Slow down a bit and take a deep breath. Your family must help. Make sure you eat, drink plenty of water and get your rest. take Kodie for a walk, play ball, brush his coat, give him some good hugs and ear scratches. Take good care of yourself.

[kayc]

No there's no one in town to donate to. 

God it's been a helluva week!  Julie went through pictures and took what she wanted.  Mick took pictures of everything, including the attic.  He said he'd take over from here but he forgot to take the Spectrum boxes to return so I had to go back and get them and will take them to Eugene to return to a UPS store later this week.  Makes me nervous as I knew everything about Peggy and none of them did.  She's still getting mail, I'll have to pick it up and get anything important to him and toss all her tons of catalogs when they came.

My food is going bad because I haven't been able to cook all week.  I need to make a pot of soup and use it up.  Not sure if I'll go to church today, I'm just so tired!'

We're going to have an estate sale, Mick has a Cargo truck and can haul stuff to the dump so I canceled garbage service and let them know what happened (I filled a dumpster in one day!)  Mostly expired food.  Peggy wasn't cooking, just quick/easy stuff.  She was a wonderful cook before she got so disabled. I found a can that expired in 1978! Made me feel slightly better as I need to purge my house too.  I think it's a good idea if my kids do the same on me, take what they want, haul my son's dump truck to the dump, then estate sale.  I hope I outlive Kodie, that's all I care.  He has been so good all week and it had to be hard on him!

 

Wow, that's quite a dream!  I think you're right about the not being able to reach her.  I have been so busy this week I haven't had much time to think and my brain isn't working anyway...still in shock, but I keep thinking, "I need to call Peggy."  "I need to tell her this..."  Then it hits me all over again and makes me want to cry, if not do so, and I'm not even a crier.

Her neighbor called and woke me up last night just after I'd gone to sleep, I need to remember to take my phone off the hook at night!
Polly's working on the obituary (she's nearly completely blind and severe IBS so can't go anywhere).  I appreciate her support emotionally throughout this even if we don't talk often, I know she knows, she was very close to Peggy growing up as they were only  two years apart, and has stayed in touch with her by phone, but no one was in her everyday life as much as me.  It's been hard on her friend, Mary Ann, and also her neighbors are wonderful, like mine are.

 

[Tachi]

Keep hanging on, you'll make it. just get some rest and pace yourself. Let the others do all they can. Thats the hard part. I still think of things or see or read things I know my folks would like and think to show them. It's not a matter of getting over it but surviving the shock and learning to live with it. Just know that you were wonderful helping her. It does sound you have things well in hand. 

Poor Kodie must wonder whats going on. he'll be ok though. He has you and you have him and thats a great comfort to you both.

Dont feint, my brother wanted to talk last night. Waste of my time really. he thinks that it will take 6 months to land a job when i'm ready. I told him I wont fool myself, no one is hiring me because of my age. Then he started telling me I have to get vaccinated or I cant get a job. texas isnt like that and I wont. If worse comes to worse i'll pull SS and work at walmart. Anyway, same old same old. 

I planted Bluebonnet seeds last summer and they never showed. now I have 5 or 6. I shake my head that I didnt take an interest in the yard when my folks were both alive. Mom would have loved the wildflowers. I look back now and marvel at how stuck in my own world ive been, sad. 

Keep hanging on. take comfort in those who offer it. Sometimes we find friends in strange places. When your part is done you should just take a few days off and relax, breath, play with kodie. You certainly deserve it. Take good care

[kayc]

The rest of my family doesn't live here and I'm the only one that knew everything about her/her house, habits, patterns, her bills, etc.  Kind of like with you.  How much help can your brother be from afar?  Mick will do the legal part but I'll be his right arm.  

I know, we don't get "over" grief..

Why does your brother think you need his advice?  He doesn't know TX, that's for sure!

It's natural for kids to grow up and be on their own, and not their place to worry about their parents when they're kids.  Please be easy on yourself.  I'm glad the bluebonnets are showing up for you!  

Peggy paid her yard guy with Bert's van, now he hasn't been there for 2-3 weeks.  He's a minister.  If he doesn't continue mowing then I'll lose total respect for him.  We shouldn't have to pay out of pocket when he's already paid!  And he well knows it.

I have tons of appts coming up so no time to relax...need to get groceries, go for Covid appt. Sunday (they predict snow this weekend but yet I'm not allowed to have someone drive me for my Covid test!), gastroenterologist appt in a week, I'm dreading it, scared of what they'll tell me/find.  No one cares, I miss Peggy.  Don't hear from my siblings, kids, church, "friends."

In the end, we're on our own, don't I well know it.  On my last row of firewood and still have two months to go yet...it's freezing.

[Tachi]

It looks like you're the one then. Try and get some rest and eat well. Good that you have kodie. he can probably sense the stress and all. 

My brother is a narcissist. he thinks he knows it all and since im younger he has to tell me what to do. he is wrong 95% of the time. he can't even consider he could be wrong or that I dont need his advice. I'm sure he enjoys being controlling and would ruin my life if he could. he keeps asking me things like how long can i survive here. It all depends on many things. Whatever breaks will be expensive to fix. If I break it will wipe me out. he asks me how long it will take me to get a job. that's the dumbest question i've ever heard. I keep telling him that no one is going to hire me. im studying this because it gives me hope, something to try for, a miracle. 

Sounds like the yardguy is taking advantage. What ever happened to people? 

I'm going to see if I can get the old lawnmower and weedeater going and do the yard myself. save me some money. Now if the lawn would only grow again. Looks like there's going to be alot of dead spots. may have to buy some plugs and patch em in. there goes my water bill.

Sounds like a rough week, sorry you have it coming. hang on, you can make it. Spend some time with kodie. That'll make things a bit easier. Are you having Gastro issues or just a checkup? 

I understand, thats how people can be. When you have time call the kids at least, connect with church. These are crazy times. Can you get some more firewood? Wish i could send you mine. I didnt use it at all. Got it in case we had another outage with the cold and didnt want dad to freeze.

Yes, we are on our own. I think you have a good family. Just distracted perhaps. Give them a call when you can and check on them. One thing i've always disliked for my own Life is getting too busy, too engaged and having no time to breath. If that makes sense. I know we can't help it at times. But most feel they have to fill every moment. But Life, like music, is just as much about the pause or rest as it is about the notes. 

My plan was to move back, get thru school and be free to move anywhere for a job. I had my best friend and didnt have time to make new ones out here. the people at work only befriended me because of work. When I left they quickly faded. I guess my big plan didn't work so well. 

hang in there, You'll make it through this. you and kodie. maybe some more firewood. Just in case. take good care of your self. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[kayc]

7 hours ago, Tachi said:

Are you having Gastro issues or just a checkup? 

I've had a mysterious throat issue with inflamed tongue glands since Christmas 2020, couldn't get a doctor to look at or biopsy it.  Am canceling it as:
1) The white spots disappeared after all this time, may need time for glands to settle down

2) Lady on FB Oakridge Chat (where we share town news) posted asking where to get CBD infused coffee...said she went to Eugene Gastroenterology and they tore her esophagus in two places, didn't give her anything for pain, didn't tell her what to do!  That's where I was scheduled.  In all these years I've never seen a post like that, the timing was uncanny!

3) Snow starting tonight through at least a week!  45 years here, it's never snowed past April 7!

I don't believe in that many coincidences, I need to heed the warnings that are screaming at me!

Decided to make the trek in to town yesterday to get groceries!  Came home and it was 80 with the fire going and windows open, this was not predicted!  Crazy weather.  Will clean out the wood stove today and build a fire, high of 46 today.  This is crazy!

7 hours ago, Tachi said:

One thing i've always disliked for my own Life is getting too busy, too engaged and having no time to breath. If that makes sense.

Absolutely!  That's why I hate everyone scheduling my time away for me!  Another kink: Have to go for blood draw and requested insulin resistance test, doctor hadn't heard of it and doesn't know much about Diabetes, wants to have a phone visit April 19 so II can explain to him why.  Brushed up on Dr. Ben Bikman (scientist) on Insulin Resistance, took notes.

Never a dull moment!  I'd like one!

Haven't heard from brother since he said he'd "take it from here."  Don't know if he's forwarding her mail, hope he's thought of it, but I can't drive 20 miles/day to check it when it's snowing and gas costs this much so I hope so!  Snow starts tonight.

I've been retired 8 1/2 years now, don't miss the long commute at all!  I keep busy, don't know how I had time to do what I did, burned the candle at both ends and kept going...

[kayc]

Two feet of snow since Sunday morning (Sat. night) and more coming down all week long!  Not fun, looking like I won't have Easter just like I didn't have Christmas.  

[Tachi]

Wow, two feet of snow. Seems crazy...we were 80s the past few days. Ahhh, throat issues. I hope they can make some progress there. My dad always thought he could go to the doctor and get a pill and be fixed. We found in the case of his stomach that his doctors werent very good. The last hospital found bleeding ulcers.

And why I dont like doctors. I've been blessed to have a couple good ones in my life. But from what ive seen taking care of dad and from what I hear I need to take good care and stay away from them.

When I lived in Lubbock the weather was crazy there. Wind swept down the Great Plains and into town. We had big swings at times. maybe the weather patterns are shifting.

Hoping a quiet day or two is coming for ya. you deserve a week off at least. Relax when ya can. How is kodie doing?

Outside the breakfast room window is a rosebush and a pole that used to hang a birdfeeder. We had a group of dove that would always try and muscle in. Dumb as dirt. I took it down because I wasnt willing to keep buying feed. But one dove built a nest in the woodpile right next to the door on the patio. So now whenever I come outside she flies off in a fright. Not a good place to build a nest.

I fear the yard grass is dieing but will see. need some good rain but none in sight.

Id say you're a very strong and dedicated person. You like staying busy perhaps? After this settles down take a homecation and relax. My Mom was that way. She always had energy and went 90 miles an hour. And I take after her. Except now I am so unfocused. 

My bro gifted me a year membership at a UX Design website with classes. Very good material, better than the first ones I did at Coursera.com. But they limit how much you can do at one time. I did the intro and first sections and then had to wait a week to keep going. Kinda breaks the momentum.

I think my stomach is slowly healing. Less or no pain after I eat. No weird pain. At this point I would love a Chai or hot chocolate even but I dont dare. Maybe one day.

I know things have been crazy. hang on. This will pass and better days ahead. Scratch Kodie behind the ears for me and take good care of yourself.

[aluckyson]

Sorry again to hear about your sister, kayc. You mentioned her passing to me just the other night in a different thread but this one is where I read more of the details. Crazy thing is that both your sister and my mom hadn't updated their wills since 1995. Weird coincidence. It's unfortunate that there's such a mess of things to deal with on your end. It's certainly not easy. My mom's funeral service is in about 12 hours and I need to be out the door in about 9. Not sure if I'll get more than a few minutes of sleep.

[kayc]

21 hours ago, Tachi said:

You like staying busy perhaps?

I don't know that I LIKE it but it's my default, it's how my mom was and all of us kids but Peggy, my kids are the same way.  I figured it was genetic!    I usually don't sit down until an hour before bedtime (unless on the PC and still busy then!).  

More snow yesterday and again today, they way underpredicted.   More shoveling today...the county buried all my hard work clearing the car, top of driveway, and mailbox...it took me 1 1/2 hours to undo what they put there.
Kodie is absolutely great!  I came in exhausted from shoveling snow, he looked at my worn out face and gave me a kiss.  Just what the doctor ordered!  (No pun intended!)  I have to agree with you but on the medical system, the doctors do what they're taught.  Our whole system needs a makeover.

I love the sounds of doves and pigeons, they're sweet soft voices are soothing, would love to take them off your hands and gladly pay for bird food!  I used to raise carrier pigeons, REALLY found them de-stressing to watch!  I enjoyed them so much, but that was over 40 years ago.  They all had their own personalities, even had one that was gay!  They mate for life, except for one we had that we called Don Juan, he hit on all the ladies!  They smell sweet and clean, I didn't mind cleaning their pen, unlike the chickens, now THEY are dumb!  I know people who felt about their chickens like I do Kodie, I don't get that.  I had one neighbor years ago that had chickens in her house with a baby and a toddler, um NO!!!  Not sanitary for a baby crawling on the floor!

Yep, I've had robins building a nest on my woodpile, had to move the nest, that woodpile is used up now!  She wasn't very happy with me.  Had one that kept building over my shop door, it'd get all over my car next to it, put up grape scent (they hate it)  there and she'd get mad and throw it down every time, I'd find it about 20 ft. away!  I stuck it in the shop, it didn't get rid of the bird (I kept moving the nest, she finally gave up) but the mice in the shop who had been prolific for two years, and seemed to love mouse poison and figured out how to shut off electronic traps or avoid them, they hated the grape scent and disappeared!  It was good to learn, saved me on my monthly mouse poison bills!

21 hours ago, Tachi said:

I think my stomach is slowly healing. Less or no pain after I eat.

Great news!  So important to find what works for us!  We're all very unique with dietary issues I've found.  My friend with cancer, she started Keto yesterday, I sent her 100 of my favorite (simple is better) recipes.  They were making taco pie

9 hours ago, aluckyson said:

Crazy thing is that both your sister and my mom hadn't updated their wills since 1995.

Wow!  My brother is seeing a lawyer Tuesday and will get a form so I can sign over trustee to him, 27 years since the will was made, she never consulted me (I got all the work and didn't inherit anything), I'm too old and my brain is too tired to be executor or trustee, plus I don't have high speed internet here so limited there.  If I was 27 years younger, but I'm not, I've been stressed to the max since her husband died!  And now with all the snow to deal with, having to miss appointments as I can't get out right now due to the roads.  I've had to go to her house more than I can say these 1 1/2 years, but handle her doctors/nurses/etc., cook for her, just to have her let it go bad, clean her house when I need to be cleaning mine, etc. 

[Tachi]

Dad put in a rosebush for Mom straight out the dining room window. He put a post in to hang a bidrfeeder. Its meant for small birds. but the dove tried every day to sit on it and eat seed. they succeeded in driving the other birds off it and knocking seed to the ground. they were pretty comical in their efforts. We we always entertained. The chickadees would come up on the porch and a couple would sit on the back of a patio chair and look in. 

But there are a family of big rats in the neighborhood. One day i saw the momma up on the birdfeeder knocking seed off for the kids. i took it down. I have it up now where I dont think they can reach it. Sometimes I would hear them scuffling in the attic. So i started soaking towels in ammonia and tossing it up there. I dont think they like it anymore. Im going to try grape tho.

Seems crazy getting snow now. Im spoiled by our weather. We get 70s and 80s. Today I got the old mower going and mowed the yard. Stay warm.

Ive had good docs and bad, mostly bad. dad's docs werent good at all. We didnt find out he had bleeding ulcers in his stomach until the 2nd hospital. When he fell in the bathroom one time they just said take ibuprofen and a heating pad. he ended up going to ER and saw a brilliant young doctor who cemented a couple discs and fixed him up. It was funny because Dad kept insisting it was in his neck. but his nurse showed me where they oeprated and it was the last ones on his back, the bottom. I even checked his discharge papers and it was where his bandages were on the lower back. dad would just get it in his head and not admit he was wrong. he could never ever admit wrong. 

I have so very much I need to do. But cant focus but maybe half an hour then get distracted. i waste alot of time. I can go to start something but cant think of exactly what I was going to do. maybe adult add or something.

I checked the nest and it was ruffled and eggs gone. Guessing either the rats or a neighbors cat got them. I really didnt have a safe place to move it to. 

Taco pie sounds good. Its funny how the stomach goes. I was triggering off ale and caffeine. havent had either for some time and the other day was sick again. I was stressed over a medical bill so maybe the stress got me. have to not stress. I miss hot cocoa, Chai and Cappuccino. Even just the idea of sitting down and working on something and sipping Chai just makes me feel so good. Ale I dont miss. I eat a clean diet so that shouldnt hurt me. I do fiber gummies and a probiotic every day. 

One thing is that hopefully soon you can start to relax a bit. You will have more time for yourself and Kodie. get some rest.

Kodie is such a blessing. Selfless love. 

Hope you two are doing well. take good care.

[kayc]

You have rats, I have a raccoon in my rafters above my storage room off the carport, it's where the water tank, pipes, and freezer are kept so I pray it doesn't chew the wiring up!  Meanwhile, it's torn up insulation and foam (the old kind of insulation), and I can't get up there to see the devastation, I called someone out a week ago and they haven't shown up yet, called and left another message last night.  I've seen the paw prints in the snow, definitely a raccoon and big!  I didn't know they climbed!  Oh yeah!

Had the dr appt yesterday, the gal was all washed up in what she told me/him!  Not a good go between!  He does know about insulin resistance, his question was what KIND of insulin resistance test, meanwhile I'd found an article on it and it's way complicated, lots of different kinds, and you can't get them done here, it takes hours, I'm just not up to yet another thing right now so will simply do the equasian for now (triglycerides/hdl=IR, should be under 1.5, my last one (four months into eating this way was 1.6, so I should be okay by now, will see next month.

Supposed to have snow today but just a skiff.  Got it yesterday.  As long as I don't have to shovel it, I'm good!  Got my car into the bottom of the driveway but can't get over the mound of snow to park in the carport, too high and too hard to shovel, it'll melt eventually.

13 hours ago, Tachi said:

maybe the stress got me

Yes, I've learned the cortisol worsens insulin resistance and hence blood sugar, it's why I haven't taken my BP in a week, stressing over it is the last thing it needs!  I have enough causing me stress

My daughter's divorce will have to start over, the court filed dismissal 4/1 because no response to the mail they didn't get 2/4, this after the courts did nothing for two years!  If Don hadn't left right when he did it could be over with right now.  We don't have his new address so it's impossible to start over without some cooperation from him!  My heart is sick for her.

We can't access Peggy's bank account but are required to pay the elec. bill and homeowners, both past due now, how're we supposed to do that?  Neither my brother and I stand to inherit anything.  We have to get signatures from everyone in the family, including my XH, we've been divorced for 22 years, that should be challenging.  This is not an easy or even reasonable process!

Peggy's diabetes wasn't listed as contributory but we all know it was.  Diabetes affects everything.

I haven't had time to cook this week so eating out of the freezer.  It's a good thing I have a few meals prepared ahead...

Still dealing with Peggy's and Melissa's stuff, ugh.  I just want to run away!  Take care of yourself!

[Tachi]

Yes, the insulation is all messed up. Also been hoping they dont chew through anything. now that they dont get the birdseed and I toss a lil ammonia up there theyll stay away. never could find how they get in.

take good care of yourself. hopefully things ease up soon.

My brother had sent early on the same crockpot they have. I already have one but he insisted. Its very nice but huge. Ive used it once and wont do so again. makes way too much food.

We are hitting upper 80s today. I love the 60s and 70s but they seem gone already. Have tons of work in the yard. I dont really have to but it is a nice break. Attaching a pic of my flowers so far. These are last years coming up again.

Cortisol from stress is probably why I am getting a gut. Didnt realise how much it affected tho. You really need to know your stuff to stay healthy. 

Your poor daughter. Can she not divorce him even tho they cant reach him? two years dragging their feet. Yet when they want to they'd be on the doorstep next day.

Peggy's bank acct...can you file with the court a motion to get it released to the executor? What a mess, sorry you're all going through this. 

hang in tehre, breath, get some sleep, play catch with kodie, play some nice music.

take good care

[kayc]

16 hours ago, Tachi said:

Can she not divorce him even tho they cant reach him?

You have to wait on them, lawyer or not.  Theirs was a simple agreed upon divorce, they have separate bank accounts, no property or children.  My paralegal friend file four documents to rescind their dismissal, hoping it's in time!  OMG, praying so!

16 hours ago, Tachi said:

Peggy's bank acct...can you file with the court a motion to get it released to the executor?

They have to send all of us documents to sign and so far we've received nothing, supposed to be electronic...my daughter really needs a PC, hard to do everything on a cellphone!  (Don got it along with her cat.)

I had a horrid dream last night (Kodie endangered), woke up at 1:20, that was it.  Laid there until 3:30 and gave up.  So 4 3/4 hours sleep, ugh.

Got a clean bill of heath at the dermatologist yesterday but one she wants to watch, not sure why she didn't just take it, it looks variegated, slightly irregular.  I heard the receptionist say they were running behind, maybe that's why.

Still have the raccoon above the storage, now he says he wants to get someone to trap it, it's been nine days already!  What's he waiting for, more raccoons?

I'd give the crockpot away.  I have so much stuff to get rid of and nowhere in town to get rid of it!

 

[Tachi]

Sounds like a very simple divorce then. My ex filed ours and paid the hundred bucks fee. All I had to do was go to my lawyers and sign. Hoping they can get that taken care of asap.

I broke down first of the year and got a tablet, really comes in handy. maybe she could look at those.

Sorry you had a dream like that. theyre awful. Probably all the stress and such. Once this is over hoping you can relax and get some peace. 

Grats on the dermatologist. I wonder if more people are being seen now. Crazy times. To be honest I have no idea where I would go if I ever need a doctor, well when I do. have to start figuring out Medicare pretty soon. Can signup in June or July and active come September. Its very expensive.

Maybe he's afraid of raccoons. Maybe theres laws that decide how he goes about it?

We got some good rain the other night, stood out on the porch and watched. might be the last we get for awhile. About to start getting into the upper 80s soon. I love the 60s and 70s but all too soon it gets hot. And that means the water bill goes sky high. I know I have one leak in the sprinkler system but I need to check for more. Might water the old fashioned way this year. 

Alright, im off to read then sleep. hang in there. Take really good care of yourself and kodie.

[kayc]

7 hours ago, Tachi said:

have to start figuring out Medicare pretty soon.

It can be overwhelming and confusing, I can't afford supplemental so I signed up for a Medicare Advantage Program, AARP United Healthcare, pay 0 payment to my PCP, $40 copay to specialists.  Comes with OptumRx copays vary as to what you're on, the few I take have 0 copay this year.  $90 copay for ER, I think urgent care went to $45.  I pay out of pocket for my dentist. Covered some of my eye exam, glasses, still cost me a lot though.  Medicare costs $170.10/month, they take it out of my soc.. sec.  It's good to sign up through an agent so you have someone who can answer questions, help with problems, etc.  The first time I signed up on my own, no such advocate, too late to switch through an agent then but when I switched to United Healthcare I did it through an agent.   I'm lucky I live in a small town, we have a FB forum where we talk about such issues and others.  It costs me less than obamacare did and I get a lot more return on it! 

I wasn't asking him to kill the racoon, but to put chicken wire on the opening so she can't get in.  Still hasn't done anything.  Insulation is all torn up.  I haven't heard/seen activity up there all week.  George had the whole thing chicken-wired off but Con John removed it all so he could rifle through all my stuff.  Nope, no laws, you can trap them, we're in the country, cities...God knows.

I used to read before sleeping too, now I cuddle with Kodie.

One month tomorrow that Peggy died..  It feels weird that the rest of the world just goes on...

[Tachi]

I think I finally found my dessert, Angel Food cake. Yummy, not too sugary, and light. 

What I do with Medicare will depend on if and how I'm working. I will get something from my share of the estate Sale and of course once I get my share from the sale of the house it's fine. But besides those, it will be a huge expense. I've read so many things, so will have to take the time to sort it out. 

dad had That Medicare and Am Airlines paid for it. they took good care of him. I will need dental work, hopefully not this year though. UHC is sending me a booklet. Also read there are ways to get the 170 reduced but know nothing of it. Im so low income it hurts but somehow never qualify for help.

Sounds good, chicken wire it closed. They need to quit draggin their tales. If I could find how these guys are getting in i'd fix it but can't find anything.

The things that make a huge imprint on our lives the world doesnt notice. thats still so strange to me and hurts my heart. losing dad made me come to grips that I will be gone too. No one will remember and I will make no lasting impact, not that that matters really. I'm torn between feeling an urgency to do many things...and the feeling that it wont matter and I just need to relax and have fun. But I so enjoy the artwork.

It almost seems like i've lived here alone all the time. like having the folks is a dream memory. I think about em and miss em every day. I guess the pain fades with time. Slowly working on making a website of their family and growing up, using the stories they told me. 

So how you holding up. Getting enough food and rest? Able to play with kodie? Hoping you can get some relax time soon. 

The lawn is terrible, it wont come back very well, many dirt patches. I have some Scotts rapid Grow that does well, it just doesnt spread. my water bill will be high again. Put in more seed. melon, carrot, corn, and a few flowers. I dont expect anything but will see.

Scratch kodie on the ears for me. Take good care of yourself.

 

[kayc]

Well I'd notice, it'd be another loss, it feels my world dwindles more with each one.  

Kodie is great.  I can't believe what a sweet little guy he is!  He went to the vet Friday ($250) they got his weight at 20.7 and said he's perfect!  I got him chipped, he didn't even flinch.  Arlie would have been leery of all the things they did to him!  But Arlie was kind of a big baby around everyone but me, me he trusted.

It's absolutely pouring rain today, no break in it, Kodie and Jazzy will look like drowned pig pens after playing in this muck!  Crazy weather.  It's supposed to snow later this week.  In May!  I've never seen it here this late!

 

[Tachi]

Your weather seems crazy. I think my sinuses would be unhappy lol. I would love some rain though. Looks like we are entering our dryspell early, already pretty short on rain.  Do people get sick alot with the weather swings? We were forecast for a good rain yesterday and day before. Rained for a minute and a half. Now we get 90s and dry for two weeks. there goes my water bill. 

Kodie is such a good pup. I cant remember one that was that good. We used to have dogs when I was a kid. Sometimes our lives are blessed with people. Sometimes it's a dog or cat. I suppose angels come in all forms.

I seem to have a new friend. A woodpecker comes daily and pecks on the birdfeeder. maybe he doesnt like the seed. Im undecided if I want to keep putting seed out. Don't want to encourage the rats and its not cheap. The seedlings for flowers and vegetables are coming up nicely. As i've pretty much forgotten what went where it will be a nice surprise.

Thinking that now the summer heat is here I should get to bed earlier and get up earlier. That way do my work in the yard before it gets hot. I never thought i'd see that happen, as well as give up coffee and ale. Sad what life has come to. I was thinking last night to run grab some fast food for dinner. havent had pizza or a burger in awhile. but i thought it may not be a good idea. Finally decided I should stick to eating healthy. In time I wont even have second thoughts.

When do you folks get spring? Do you have flowers where you live or do you plant anything?

Take good care of yourself and Kodie.

 

[kayc]

20 hours ago, Tachi said:

Do people get sick alot with the weather swings?

No, I learned when I worked for my doctor that viruses make people sick not the weather, but hay fever could affect your sinuses, they sure do mine!  This year is bad for pollen count.  But the constant swings make it hard for our body to adjust to!  When we get used to warm weather and it suddenly drops from 70s to 30, it's hard to feel warm!  Normally THIS is Spring!  It's never been winter this late!  People's flowers coming up and getting frozen.

Kodie is the best pup in the world, I'm very lucky to have him.  Such a sweet little guy!

 

 

 

 

[Tachi]

Somehow we went to summertime. Been in the 90s for a few weeks and no end in sight and no rain. Sad because the lawn is dieing. Slowly seeing patches of dead grass then dirt. I have no idea whats wrong but theres no money to hire someone. I will carefully water and try some bugkiller and then try some patch grass. My water bill will make me cry. And I didnt get an electric bill last month. Its paid automatically...nothing. I checked their website and called them and they said im all paid in full no problems. 

Reading a bit on Medicare. Thinking I will have to get A, B, D, and a medigap. Luckily, so far i've been healthy. But depending on how my stomach stuff goes I could be in trouble. I know I will need alot of dental work but Medicare wont cover it unless an Advantage plan does but ive heard those are bad. But My dad's was really good.

Hope you folks have warmed up some. Is your snow done for the season? Hopefully you get some rain this summer so its not too dry. I'd send you some rain but there's none in sight.

I guess Kodie doesn't care if its cold or warm, he just wants to play. 

How has everything been going for you? You ok?

I didn't hear from my brother for a month and then he emails that he wants to talk. I am not very entertaining i'm afraid. I'm finishing the first two courses in this new website and on to the next two. Interesting. I'm reviewing my process so I can do projects. Most of this is psychology and sociology and not art. Just a small bit of art. Wish i had switched two years ago to this stuff. Oh well.

Take good care of yourself, scratch kodie on the ear for me, he's a good pup.

[kayc]

Gosh, my lawn is thick and getting tall, so are the clovers!  It's 39 right now.  50-60s daytime.  Even getting down to just above freezing.  I let the fire go out a couple of days ago, a couple of times, so the house is cold.  Out of dry firewood.

15 hours ago, Tachi said:

Advantage plan does but ive heard those are bad.

I highly recommend United Healthcare (AARP, you don't have to be a member), I love it and never pay anything unless I see a specialist, then it's a $40 copay, if my PCP, zero.  My Rxs have no copay, some do but not usually much.  They have nice customer service, I really like it. 1-800-711-6088  You can sign up through an insurance agent and they can help with answering questions, etc.  Doesn't cost above usual Medicare payment.  Might even get some of cost waived with low income.  You're not likely to need a hospital stay, it has a copay and I don't think you pay after the 5th day in there.  I don't worry about that, not likely to go to the hospital for many years.  I avoid them like the plague!

I was going to go to my son's and take care of the kids tomorrow/Friday (DIL told me two days before it was still on) then last night he called and said he's had Covid four days and all activities are canceled!  She was just going to have me come anyway without mentioning a thing!!!!  He said they're under quarantine.  Her and the kids won't be going anywhere for a while!  He sent me pictures of their new 4 month old puppy Murray, adorable!  Golden Retriever!  Was I shocked!  What a great choice for kids!  Kodie will love him although he will be much much bigger than Kodie when he's grown!  Very lively!  My kids had a Golden Retriever when they were little, he used to let them ride on him like a pony (he was 120 lbs).

The electric company keeps calling me about Peggy's bill as her bank froze her account so nothing can be paid.  I keep telling them we can't do anything until at least September!  It's what happens when no one is on someone's account and they died and no POA.  All takes s-l-o-w due process! 

Good luck talking with your brother...

 

[Tachi]

I never thought about making sure to have dry firewood. Hope I dont need it this coming winter.

Spent alot of time talking to the electric company. All they have is a call center in India. I messed up and used my name and now they want to cancel dads acct and open one for me. Except when I email the death certificates they dont get them. I explained everything and pointed out that if the electric is off for any amount of time I cant stay here in the heat and all the food in the refrig and freezer will spoil. Worst company ive ever dealt with.

Its 60 here. Our rain never showd up, maybe tues/wed. But should be a bit cooler (80s) the next few days. I love it in the 60s. It feels different and makes me feel alive. like it reminds me of a place and time where I was very happy.

Seems odd to think you folks are that cold at night. I guess been so long since I lived near Chicago...

Would gladly trade lawns, I did some spot watering tonight and its dieing. 

Dad had united/aarp and yes they were very good. Spent time on the phone with some good reps. I cant afford to add a medigap. But def need A, B, and drug. I wont be working when it starts in Sept and no idea when I will find a job or if I will. I need to sell this house by years end. The market is softening up already. 

Golden retrievers are really nice. My Great aunt and uncle had one. Wonderful friend. Odd she didnt tell you they were quarantined. But at least you found out. Now im curious to see what this Monkey pox is. Odd that there seems to be something new every so often. 

Elec company will just have to wait until the estate progresses. I've come to hate utility companies, banks, big businesses. 

my brother wanted to see some of my UX Design projects. he still thinks its art. Its not art, its psychology and sociology and doing research into consumer needs. But I did look at the classes he had on Udemy training website. Took one on basics of graphic design. very good and alot of fun. Too bad I didnt start on 'design' a couple years ago. Designing websites and apps and logos etc looks like fun.

My dad was in a club where all these ex piots made balsawood models and flew em in the gym. then went and had pizza. Good excuse to tell stories. Dad used to say that was his tonic, his therapy. Friend of his would come take him sometimes. I offered to drive him over and come get him but he never wanted me too. I did go a few times and went to lunch. Nice and interesting bunch. But its sad. dad has passed. His best friend is all but gone. A couple guys have passed. One has eye cancer and one no longer answers email after saying he was sick. Its like this great group of friends just slips away. i guess that how life is.

Hope it warms a bit for you. maybe you'll get our rain. take good care.

[kayc]

United Healthcare is not a Medigap, it's free as you're paying Medicare, it's not a supplement, it is it's own Medicare plan and includes Rx, eyecare, maybe dental, IDK, I use my own dentist (or I did, I just lost mine) and pay for it.  They subtract it from Medicare if you're of age.  A couple I knew didn't get part D and when they wanted it they took a monthly penalty for life, so make sure to talk to an agent before you decide.

It'd be great if you could freelance doing websites from home!  My stepson used to do that, I don't know if he still does or not.  He stayed home with the kids and his wife was a social worker with the benefits.

I remember you telling me about your dad's excursions with his friends, so neat he had that outlet.

My son got Covid 8 days ago, his wife came down with it yesterday.  I can't sleep...worried about the kids getting it (age 7 & 5).  Ceci's bdy party is Memorial Day...I'm pretty sure it's Ba.2, breathing problems/lungs, coughing.

Yes, that's how it is when we age, it's so sad how life changes so much.  I talked to my ex-sister-in-law last night, they really miss me.  My ex's wife won't allow anyone in and all the family holidays I used to host are days gone by.