Dwaynecg Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Hi Everyone, Today is going to be a hard day for me. It is the day Pauline and I celebrated the most. The day so many years ago we started our life together, living, and loving as a couple. I remember the day, like it was just yesterday, a hot summer day in Chapman Kansas. The best day of my life and Pauline's as well. This morning I awoke at 4 AM. I checked my computer and got rid of unwanted e-mail. At 5:15 I could see a little light coming over the horizon. I walked down to the top of the park at the bottom of the street. It overlooks the boat ramp into the bay. I waited until the sun came up and warmed my soul with its great warmth. I was only in a pair of shorts and T-shirt. I did have my coffee with me. I must have said HAPPY ANNIVERSARY about 20 times. Of course I could not hear Pauline, but I can feel her all around me. I know she is with me. But it is still hard. Tears fall down my face as I sit and type this. I THANK ALL OF YOU HERE ON HOV, for all your support and prayers you have all given me over the last few months. God Bless you all. He's in my heart and soul. He will never let me down. I walk my new journey in life with CHRIST at my lead. Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melina Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Happy anniversary Dwayne and Pauline....you're in my thoughts. Melina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nats Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Dwayne, Happy anniversary to you and Pauline... something you will always share and can ever be taken away... May God Be With You todays and always.. NATS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Dear Dwayne, Remember to breathe today. Remember to eat today. Remember to drink today. But most of all, remember to remember the joy today. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksbeachbum Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Happy Anniversary Dwayne and Pauline. I will enjoy a day in KS for the two of you. It is a beautiful day here today.... perfect 70 degrees, sunny and no wind. You don't get perfect days in KS often. Your post brings tears to my eyes, as you are such a sensitive and compassionate person. Pauline was so lucky she found you and you two had so many great years together. My thoughts are with you today and I hope you are recovering at lightning speed. Blessings to you Becky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl C Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Happy Anniversary to you and to Pauline, Dwayne. As a new member of this group, I found your message compelling, and it expresses my feelings of about 40 years with my Wanda. I hope your memories are, and it sure sounds like it, as good as mine, and that you'll never quit celebrating those years. I do believe that without my faith that we will be rejoined for eternity I'd just have to give up the struggle, but since I know in my heart that we have that to look forward to, I will, like you are doing, continue to battle the emptiness. I hope you find new strength every day and that as you get closer to reunion time you'll embrace each opportunity to make yourself better with GOD's hand leading you. Earl C Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Dwayne, dear ~ Sending love and blessings to you and your beloved Pauline on this special day of remembrance ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Dwayne, I pray today will not be a sad day today but rather a happy day as you relive all of the wonderful memories you have of building a life with such a wonderful soul mate as Pauline. It sounds like you must live in a beautiful place with the bay and the view. Enjoy the sunshine! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just one more hug Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Happy anniversary to you Dwayne and Pauline.....thinking of you...Carol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Dwayne, happy memories today for you of Pauline. I loved the scene you painted with your word's of what you did this morning, sounded so very peaceful, and I am sure Pauline was there with you. Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Dwayne, I am thinking of you and your beloved Pauline on this very special day. You have a large support group behind you led by Pauline. Remember the joy! Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted August 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 Thank you, each and everyone of you, All for the heart felt responses, They all brought me comfort this morning. Yes Harry I did eat 3 good meals, and drank plenty of fluids and I did breath a new. I went up to Greg's around 11:00 AM. Brought both of us lunch. Ate out on his deck where we spent a couple hours in the shade. We went inside and cleaned up the kitchen. We had a good talk for a couple more hours, then he was getting tired so I straightened out his bed. He said, a really nice prayer with me. Of course It brought tears, but that was ok. I got home just before 4 and fed our little dog Sugar, the fish, new food and water for our birds. Then I had my supper and saved a little chicken and vegetable for Jericho, our little sugar glider. I tried to watch the movie I made for Pauline, but could not finish it. The wound in my heart hurt to much. I laid down in bed about 7. Started watching a movie but had no interest in it. I lit some tea candles for Pauline, the tears came again, and Sugar came right up and laid her head on me looking at me with those eyes. I started petting her, the asked her how this will help me petting you, but it did. All in all I had a great day. Spent time with someone who really cares. Seen a beautiful sunrise. Ate good, so I think I did very well. Again THANK ALL OF YOU FOR THE WARM WISHES AND PRAYERS ON MY MOST INPORTANT DAY. God Bless you all, May he keep us safe, healthy, and heal all our broken hearts. Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave s Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 Hope you had a good day yesterday.....best wishes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terp8r Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 Thinking of you Dwayne... Peace and love, Pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted August 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 Hi everyone, Yes I did have a GREAT day on Saturday. Then Sunday I was so tired I only went out for my scripts and some groceries. Then back to just resting. Boy that C-DIF really sapped my strength. It is still a little hard for my brain to keep up. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOR WARM WISHES, it made the day so much easer to know I have, people like all of you who really cares about me. God Bless each and everyone of you, may He, brings us all peace and good health for our journey into our new lives. Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azbrian Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 Glad to hear you had a good time Dwayne. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted August 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 Brian, Yes it was a very good day. Not as I planned it though. I just let things come to me, like watching the sun rise where Pauline like to go in the summer in her power chair, with her little helper monkey. I just let the day come to me as different things happened. Thank You Brian, God Bless Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 Do you still have her monkey, Dwayne? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted August 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Dear Kay, Pauline's last one past about 2 years before her. I wanted to get her another right away. The pain of loosing him was very hard on Pauline. She did not want me to have to go through the training all over again. I told her I would if she wanted another one. She said no. Just to get them to do the basic commands, takes months to do working with the everyday about 2-3 hours at each session. To get one trained for her needs would take me a little more tan 2 years. So again she was right. I would have done it gladly for Pauline. Take care Kay, my friend God Bless Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 I am sorry that you lost that too. Maybe someday you would consider training monkeys for people who need them? It could be a very needed and rewarding thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted August 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Kay, Pauline and I use, to do that for Helping Hands in Boston. They trained there first on in the mid 70's. We had trained the basic commands to 4 of there monkeys, before it was getting to much for Pauline as the MS progressed. After they go back to Boston and are matched up with a person, then final training around that person specific needs. Some learn real fast and others take more time. I did enjoy doing that, but with my schooling it will need all my attention. I will have a lot of studding to do. You would be amazed what you can train the monkeys to do. Just about anything a person needs, they can be trained for. God Bless Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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