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15 hours ago, Marg M said:

she keeps the "homestead" going and husband keeps the grandkids in another state.  They go months without seeing each other

What??!!  Yes, tell her  to go be with him NOW, that each day without him is a day she'll never get back, and when he goes, she'll wish she'd done it differently.  I can't even IMAGINE living like that!  I would never willingly be apart from George.  I remember when he was having his rash of car accidents due to his long commute and being tired after his long exhausting shift, I had stay close to his job during his four day work week only because I wanted to keep him ALIVE!  But every moment outside of that we spent together except one weekend a year I'd be with my sisters and he'd go on a fishing excursion with his buddies...of course that had to be when his body chose to have a heart attack.  :angry:  I'm glad we lived life to the fullest with each other, each decision we made was with the other in mind, we WANTED to be together!

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You know I cannot interfere.  If she cannot see what I am going through and cannot put herself in my place, she will not listen to me.  I think we learn......after the fact.  They know I suffer, and they also know I am a "steel magnolia" but I feel like "a lonely little petunia in an onion patch."  We will overcome to some point, but we won't forget.  And, when it happens to others, we will show empathy, because we learned the hard way.  Her beloved only sister passed and she saw her brother-in-law actually  wither away and finally pass away.  He was skin and bones and had honestly mourned himself to death.  When you see things after the curtain has been pulled away and you do not learn a lesson from it, then you will be self-taught the hard way.  

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This morning I thought:

"I can put lables and names to every thing grief related......but in the end it's all about one single thing: I miss him very very much"

How am I going to live the rest of my life with the fact that, it doesn't matter, I just miss him?

My days and hours are full.....but missing him. Every day I focus on fill my time, and do and do and do....because I miss him.

It's a race to nowhere. 

Just a thought, I know there's no answer.  I'll live....but missing. 

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25 minutes ago, scba said:

How am I going to live the rest of my life with the fact that, it doesn't matter, I just miss him?

My days and hours are full.....but missing him. Every day I focus on fill my time, and do and do and do....because I miss him.

It's a race to nowhere.

Dear Ana!

You´re right!There´s nothing else to do,because we must go on somehow...everytime...till the end...

It´s missing someone who is irreplaceable forever...

Hugs from Janka

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Me too, Ana.  I miss him each and every day and he's always in my thoughts and resides in my heart.  I've accepted that this is how it will be the rest of my life.  My mom had to live like this for 32 years, oh Lord I pray it won't be that long, but I fear it will be much longer than that.  It is what it is, I pray for grace to go through it.

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