enna

Hi Mary, I put my greeting to you under the positives. Happy Day. Anne

Today is Mary's (mfh) Birthday. Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Mary. Happy Birthday to you. My gift to you is - see the photo. And know that all of us wish you a very wonderful day. Anne

We do share something very sacred this day, dear Mary. Birth and Death - beginning and end - as I do my walk today at the Estrellas I shall be thinking of you and Bill and the journey you have taken together as I remember my life with Jim. Ours ran a similiar path in so many ways. Love is a very powerful thing. I thank you for your kind words and encouragement along my path as you have struggled with yours. We will never know how much this forum has helped so many of us. We will only know that we will continue to be here for one another. I cry right along with you and with no shame for we have learned that tears are healing. Love, Anne

Today, April 3rd would have been my Jim's birthday. I will bake brownies (extra chocolate) and take them over to the firehouse for the guys who came to the house many times during Jim's last weeks on earth to 'lift and assist' as he spent his last weeks accepting death so gracefully. The guys knew him by name. He was a gentle soul with a sparkle in his Irish eyes. Always a gentle man who loved nature and animals. He would have loved Benji. I'll take Benji with me but they cannot keep him! Later, we'll go to the Estrella Mts. and walk a short walk as I reflect on how very much Jim loved the outdoors. It will be a special day for us. I just can't believe it will be a year since he died on May 25th. I am starting to accept this new life of mine. I know he is not here like I'd like him to be, but he is with me. Anne

Great story, Marty. I become a marshmellow when it comes to doggy stories. Anne

My dear Shannon, I am thinking about you tomight and hope that you are resting, taking care of your health, watching over Leo, and just being kind to yourself. I do hope you can feel all our arms around you during these times full of memory. You are strong, dear one. Anne

beautiful - it is as it is, isn't it, dear Mary... thinking of you anne

Oh dear Mary, I really stopped by to visit with Bentley. And to check on WHY you were not wearing shoes. Marty, we are very gentle and caring and would treat you as you deserve to be treated. So let go of that ballon NOW. Love, Anne

My positive tonight - I spent three hours with my cardiac team today and I have been released from charting all foods I put in my mouth - I still have to be very deligent and not go over the 48 ozs of liquid or the 2000MG of sodium now. I just don't have to write everything down. I see the cardiac nurse tomorrow for the blood work, weight, and B/P - hope I will be taken off of more meds. Hopeful, Anne

My dear Marty, I know there is nothing we can say that will make you feel better but we are going to keep saying that this is something that happened and will happen again and again and it is no one's fault. I have worked with computer software for over a decade now and the painful truth about lost files is a reality. My teachers would come in a panic horrified that they lost lesson plans, grades, etc for months and wanted me to fetch them for them like I was some kind of miracle worker. Most times it did not happen and when it did I was surprised. Today I looked on my thread that I started on Aug. 8th 'My Beloved isn't with me Anymore' on the Loss of a Spouse thread and I noticed that I too have lost everything posted from Nov. 11th up to the end of March - when this glitch first happened I checked my thread and everything was there. Today it is not. Words are only words. We know how much love there is on this forum and I know everyone understands if something is gone. As others have said - we are all full of words and this will not stop us. Now, you try and put that 'feel bad attitude' away and do what you do best - moderate. Otherwise a few of us are going to have to 'watch' you just as we are watching a few on this forum (those who forget to wear shoes) for example. Happy Spring. I hope everyone's snow is almost melted. Anne

I checked back to make sure that you, Mary, have not added this meditation to the many links you have given us. This is another meditation from Tara Singh on Gratefulness. I found it appropriate on this day of Resurrection. Gratefulness makes everything possible... Anne This video no longer is available.

Hello, dear Jan. Yes, I know how much you also love nature and when you are ready that love will come back. I know that you have been so busy with those precious grandchildren of yours. Don't they just melt your heart. Have a good day tomorrow and know that I'm thinking of you. I must wait for awhile to see my little ones - I can't travel yet - soon I hope! This is very hard for me since I was planning on a trip to IL during Easter. I will have to accept the marvels of the Internet and continue with Skype and that will have to be all right for now. Anne

My dear Kay, thank you for the laugh - I imagined you cleaning Arlie up after his mud dance. Yes, I know how very much you like nature and I am so glad spring is starting to appear for you. It has been a long winter for some. Videos with nature make me grateful for the beauty that surrounds us. I hope you are resting. You are in my heart. Anne

Thank you, Mary for your kind words. I love flowers and I'm glad that you liked the video. Wisconsin is a beautiful country. I visited there many times. I even took some undergrad classes during the summer at the U of Wisconsin way back in the70s!! So the pie was too rich - I can have lemon meringue pie - perhaps when I visit we'll have a chance to go to the tea house and then walk Bentley and Benji around town. Nice thought. Your video made me want to visit there again. Anne

My wish for you is that you all have a very peaceful and breathtaking spring - for some a spring long in coming. Those of us on this forum have been dealing with losses that have almost shattered our very beings but we are strong and that will not happen. The support we give so willingly is a testimony to that strength. Anne Secret Garden - First Days of Spring

I am so sorry that you are feeling such pain, Jn. And of course it is overwhelming. You have lost someone so very important in your life. You will never stop missing Dave. It will get less painful as you move to create a new life for yourself. Please let those tears flow for they are healing to anyone who suffers the loss of a loved one. I think we learn to live with our loss because that is how we heal. We will always have the deep hurt in our hearts because our hearts have been ripped open and nothing will make them whole again. This is ‘fog’ time for you. Everything will hurt. It is how it is suppose to be. It is all ‘normal.’ You are grieving. Your comfort will come from those who are close to you and in knowing that you have found this place to express yourself and no one will judge you. Perhaps this link to our moderator’s site will help you as it did me. I still try to read to understand. I am taking Marty’s E-Mail Course – The First Year of Grief: Help for the Journey and it does help me to understand what’s happening to me now that I am a different person than I was ten months ago. Peace to you. Anne http://www.griefhealing.com/helping-the-grieving.htm

Thank you, dear Marty - we are all allowed 1 mistake in our lifetime. You certainly do not have to apologize. anne

Now I am able to post something on this thread - why are almost ALL threads archived? Is something going on with our site? Thank You Anne

and here is one of my favorites of Henri Nouwen - it is good to just sit with someone “Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into the places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.” Anne

I am sorry that your emotions seem to be all over the map, Anthony. You know what they say about those grief triggers! It does seem unfair that in the midst of so much happiness there is a deep sadness and longing for a loved one who has died. Remember what they say about feelings – they are just that –feelings. They will pass in their own time. We let them in and we let them go – that seems to be the pattern for those of us missing a beloved. It is right for us to think about happy/sad during these days. I always marvel at this time of the year when we move from dark/cold to light/warm. Spring does that to me. No matter our belief I think that we are all moved by death and resurrection. Mysteries are always something to reflect upon. I know you will survive this weekend. Peace to your heart. Anne

Dear Shannon, You are in my thoughts and prayers as you work through your grief of the death of your mother and the illness of Leo. I cannot imagine what you are experiencing but I do want you to know that I send love and hugs to you. We here on this forum are with you in spirit and we all hold you close. You are not alone. Anne

Just beautiful, dear Mary. You are in my heart today and always. Thank you for sharing. Anne

What a wonderful story, Anthony. You said you were going to be busy. How encouraging to hear about all that you have been doing. I'm glad that you spent the time to write and be with your Celene. I'm glad that you are busy with work. I'm glad that you found the time to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. I like the picture. How very beautiful Ciara is. And most importantly, I am glad that you are back to yardwork and nature. Good for you. Welcome back and thank you for your uplifting journey. Anne

My dear Kay, I am so sorry about the loss of your friend. You are in my prayers as is the family. Anne

Dear Shannon, I am hearing you tonight and just want you to know that you are tucked in my heart. Remember, all feelings are just fine and you do need to let them come. I so wish you did not have to go through this. Please know that you are not alone. We are traveling right along with you. hugs and peace Anne