KarenK

Darrel, Where was your bookstore in Scottsdale? I used to frequent one on MIller Rd. south of Camelback. Not sure if our time frames crossed paths though. May have since I've been in the area since 1967.

I'm right here with you guys watching all the things on Jewelry Television that I can't afford and don't need anyway, reading a Dean Koontz book, and planning beaded gemstone necklaces in my head I will create just for fun. Don't care much for beaded earrings although I've made a few. I prefer making earrings out of silver or gold plated charms. I have every Western themed pair you can imagine right down to covered wagons. Just missing stagecoaches. lol Will probably call it a night(or is that morning) soon so I can get up in time to put a roast in the slow cooker. I make meals with as little trouble as possible. I always said I'd rather iron than cook and who irons anymore? Hope you guys get some sleep too.

Thank you for the info, George. I have had toe cramps(sounds funny) and ankle cramps for years. Lots of fun pulling off your cowboy boots in the mall to rub your feet. The calf cramps are a new thing. Also, lots of fun jumping up and trying to avoid stepping on the dog who sleeps next to my bed. lol Think I will try the foods before I go for the Magnesium, although it sounds interesting too. I miss Ron's great cooking(he cooked and I cleaned up). He fixed healthy meals. How ironic that he was the one that ended up with diabetes, a failing heart, and cancer.

My evenings usually include fixing dinner for me and the guys and cleaning up. TV is on all the time with the few channels I like or a movie. Usually read while I watch TV and check out stuff or pay bills on the computer periodically. "The Good Doctor", which I enjoy, started Season 2. Found a new(to me) bead site to order a few things I don't need. Always alone, although others are here. No one ever watches a movie with me. Oh, well. Went to bed at 1 AM(early for me) and jumped up four times with horrible leg cramps until about 7 AM. I'm sure they are caused by the low Potassium that my doctor reports. Supposed to go back for further tests, just haven't bothered. This happens every night now several times and it's hard to walk when I get up as my legs hurt. Guess I'll get some bananas which aren't my favorite. Still having dental work done. Like you Gwen, parts of me are breaking faster than I can keep up with them. My COPD does not require oxygen, just slowing down and no long distance walking. Am familiar with the oxygen machine and the 3'(?) tanks you pull behind you as Ron used it in the last few months. I had a heck of a time pushing his wheelchair while dragging a tank. Insurance wouldn't cover the small backpack tanks. Glad to hear you were able to do a bit of volunteer work. Hope your days will get a bit brighter.

Marg, I'm so sorry about your friend. Cancer is the scourge of the earth. It does not care how much you may have already suffered in life. My daughter went to hell and back with her first two marriages(fourteen yrs. and seven years). She had been married to the third one (who seemed to be THE one) for only two years, finally got her log cabin home and her horses, and was truly happy when cancer said "Wait, I can't let this continue." I wish for peace and no suffering for your friend.

YEA, Kevin!!! Glad you were able to complete the sale. Hope you will have help with the packing and move.

Katie, Sending you love and warm hugs. I cried like that when my precious daughter died, even more so than with losing Ron. A piece of me was lost that I can never get back, but I have learned to live without that piece as I have learned to live without Ron. Life is not fair and although it doesn't feel like it right now, "time" is the only magic word that will ease the tears and pain. There is just no easy way to hurry grief or erase it.

Totally off subject here, but this is how my mind works, I guess. When I get a new appliance , I usually just skim the manual unless I have a problem. I have had my current dishwasher for 10 years now and never paid much attention to all the different buttons, just set it on "normal wash" and be done. It is a fairly expensive one(priced $800 ten years ago). I noticed a "smart wash" on it(after 10 years, come on) which I could have used a zillion times before. Less water and energy which would have been fine as I always scrub and rinse the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher anyway. Technology be damned. I wonder how many other new things my senile old brain has missed!

What a pretty Jeep! I want one now! My son loves his Jeep. It is 12 years old and has been in tight places my Dodge 4wd wouldn't even think of going. Of course, he's into rock climbing(Moab, Ut.) and scaling mountains on goat trails. lol He even had a snorkel installed, just in case he wanted to cross a river. Not too many chances to use that in Az. Hope this is a great, safe ride for her.

Dee, Marley takes 4 pills for her Lupus. My son rolls them up in a piece of American cheese and makes a cheese ball. So far, so good. But I go through packages of cheese like crazy. lol

Great news, Kevin! Fingers crossed that all will go well.

Martha Jane, your post sounds so forlorn and I truly understand. Even after 5+ years, I've yet to discover who I am. Most days, I feel like I have fallen off a cliff and am reaching for that one hand to grasp that will pull me to safety, but that hand is not there. So, I just keep falling into the unknown, into oblivion. So many unanswered questions still plague me, but they will never be answered, so what's the use. Shirley, my "firsts" have come and gone many times, but it still hurts. Haven't ironed anything in years, but strangely enough, I'd rather iron than cook. lol

Oh Ana, Your news just breaks my heart. Will be thinking of you across the miles and praying for different results in the new tests.

Katie, She is a precious, precious angel. May you be granted the peace you so deserve. You are on my heart.

No problems here, Gin. Perhaps some folks are just having a quiet day.

Marty, I am probably one of the few adults in the U. S. that does not have a cell phone. I carried a Tracphone when Ron & Debbie were alive, just to communicate with them. Last year, I wondered why I kept it up, so I just let it go. I don't travel more than 5 miles from home and times are rare when I would find one useful. The Internet, however, is indispensable. It's handy for finding my way through life and without it, I wouldn't have met all the wonderful people here. When I get to the point of needing an electric potato peeler, I'll quit cooking. LOL

Kay, Thinking of you during this horrendous and difficult time. Wish Peggy and hubby would not shut you out. Doubly troubling that the residence center let her fall during PT.

Shirley, I'm glad you have found your way to our group, but so sorry that you have lost Stephen. He sounds like a wonderful man who brought much joy into your life. We truly understand what you are feeling and are here to listen and offer support in any way we can. My Ron has been gone for 5+ years and I still miss him and the life we shared for 40+ years. This is probably the hardest journey you will ever make, but you are not walking alone. Reach out any time and someone will hear you.

I just usually reply "I'm alive", which is kind of ironic, I guess. Those are the last two words that Ron spoke. After being transported home to die, the Hospice nurse removed the breathing tube and he sat up and simply said "I'm alive !". He immediately fell back, lapsed into a semi conscious state and took his final breath 19 hours later. It was eerie.

Gwen, So glad you are home with the furry ones who I'm sure were thrilled to see you. Have been wracking my brain trying to think of where you might look for some help. Do you have a senior center in your neighborhood that may have access to volunteers for inside and outside cleaning until you are back on your feet? Also, there are probably programs that provide meals so you don't have to worry about cooking. Any young teens in the neighborhood looking to make a buck cleaning up the yard? Or am I way out of synch with the times and teens? LOL I know it is totally crappy to have to be dependent, especially on strangers and to reorganize your life right now, but hopefully it won't be for too long.

Katie, Sending my love and warm hugs over the miles to you, also. I hope you are able to find some comfort in the grief group. Do not be afraid. They are lost and hurting, just as you are at the moment.

Such a beautiful sentiment, Joyce. Peace to you on this day and all that follow.

Thanks for asking, Kay. She seems to be feeling a bit better and her nose is looking a bit better. Will be seeing the vet in 11 days for a recheck and to start tapering off the Prednisone, replacing it with another med. The stove is in and working. It's electric, so no gas lines. Went through that with the new water heater, permits and all. I couldn't get the older type with coils(backordered), so had to settle for the radiant heat kind. It was $100 more, which didn't cost me anything. It has convection cooking also which I will probably never use and is digital and will take some getting used to. I had been using the old one for 32 years. How time flies!! MIssing Marg! Where is she? Is Peggy on Medicare? They should pay for a wheelchair. Also, maybe the hospital has a social worker scenario you could talk to about some of the stuff she needs.

Gwen, My heart goes out to you. I understand the fear and longing for that familiar presence. Debbie had been gone for 2 weeks when I finally forced myself to go to the hospital in Kentucky. I had been coughing non-stop 24/7 for those 2 weeks. The last place I wanted to be was in a strange hospital. I was scared. It took almost a week for them to figure out the Aspergillosis, tons of tests and different meds(one of which gave me Thrush.. That was fun..NOT) Surprisingly enough, the patches worked quite well. I didn't have the breath to smoke, even if I had wanted to. In the 8 days I was hospitalized, my grandkids , my ex and his wife, my daughter's friend from church, and of course, my SIL came to visit a couple of times. It was not the same as having Ron there or my daughter or son, the people I was comfortable with. One night, I remember blubbering like a baby until I was comforted by the nurse I had become familiar with. My SIL brought me a laptop so I could communicate with my friends here and that helped. Still there is nothing so embarrassing as having your SIL pick up your dirty underthings, wash and return them to you. When I could sort of breathe, I'd shuffle the halls leaning on the IV pole, just to get out of that lonely room. I hope you are out of there soon and back home with your furry kids.

Katie, we are all here wrapping our arms around you, holding you close in our hearts. You are not alone, although even if you were in a crowd of people, I know you would feel alone. Learning to live without your soulmate is a slow process. Ron and I were together for 41 years and my daughter was 50 when she left. I was completely lost, confused and felt like I was alone on another planet. It takes months and for some of us years to get past this feeling. You never get "over it". You just somehow get "through it". Allen and your babies are in your heart and they will be for all time. I know there is really nothing I can say that will make this tolerable right now, but please know that I understand. Is there anyone who could come and stay for a few days just to "be" there?