KarenK

Congratulations, Patty & Steve! Menu looks delicious. Will try to make it in once I can eat again. Karen

Kay, "drat" on the UTI! Not a strong enough word, I know. Have started getting those a couple of times a year. Hate it when our old parts start wearing out. I am alive and fairly well. Only needed stitches for one of the extractions. Only took about 3 hours for bleeding to stop. Am still in a lot of pain, but Oxy helps some. Have managed to eat pudding, milkshake, & yogurt. Looking forward to mashed potatoes & gravy later. lol Never fails in our crazy Murphy's Law family. My son has an abcessed gum, but was able to get a dentist appt. tomorrow morning. I know he is in a lot of pain, but can't take pain meds because of bad reaction. I believe I have mentioned that before. I can't even be much help and drive him. Am too groggy and can't drive. Life goes on.

Even after almost 5 years, I still say "I lost Ron" or "I lost Debbie" which sounds a bit stupid, I guess. It's not like I misplaced them or will ever find them again. It just seems a little more gentle than "dead".

Gwen, just think, as we are just killing time, time in turn, is killing us. Kind of ironic, isn't it? In the end, time wins anyway.

Kay, You gave me a laugh. I think that is my problem. I am also boring myself to death. Ron and I were more or less "joined at the hip" and when I was working, I conversed with people all day long. Such a different existence now. I'm with you on the teeth. I will have half left after these 4 are gone. No crowns or bridges though, just fillings. Will have even less reason to smile. Thank you everyone for your kindness and support.

I have not felt well or like myself for many years. I chalked it up to the stress and grief of losing Ron and Debbie and having to adjust to this new way of life. I don't live alone as you all know, but in reality, I am alone. I have been through all the heart tests, etc and other than high BP and some COPD, I should feel in much better health. I do know that bad teeth can affect the way you feel. Mine have decided to all fall apart in the last couple of years. I have put this off longer than I should. My insurance will cover most of the work, but will max out for the year. That leaves me with all the cavity fillings on my own. As Scarlett said "I'll think about it tomorrow". Once these teeth are out, I'm hoping to feel like a new woman. Probably not. lol Will more likely just look like one without the teeth. Have already filled the scripts for the pain meds, antibiotics, and mouthwash. Now, if I can just not chicken out. I have become a big baby in my old age.

I am not feeling strong at all, so will see if that saying is true. On Monday, I am going to the oral surgeon to have 4 teeth removed. Soooo not looking forward to this as I remember the pain following the extraction of my wisdom teeth, plus it takes forever for my bleeding to stop and to heal afterward. I will be knocked out, thank you very much. Just hope I wake back up. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

In the time it would take me to text someone, I could have already had a live conversation and ended the call. lol My granddaughter has lightning fast texting ability and her phone is an extension of her hand. It is all "greek" to me. I much prefer a real conversation with someone. I still believe I am worthy of conversation and don't want to become any bigger part of our robot universe. Just getting too old for "newfangled" stuff, I guess.

Katie, I hold you close to my heart as I understand at least part of the soul wrenching pain you are in. A year after I lost my husband to cancer, I watched my baby lose her battle with the same horrible disease. She was not a baby, but she was my baby, my firstborn. The losses are the same, yet completely different. Somehow, I have come to accept that the man who slept beside me for 40+ years will never be here again, but I don't believe that I can accept that she is gone. It is abnormal for my life to continue and not hers. No one can "fix" the heartbreaking losses of your little ones or my older little one. It is not possible. Perhaps this is Allen's way of coping. He must feel so lost also. I am glad that Caleb is responding to the help that is offered. He must be so very confused as to what has happened to your beautiful family. He is so precious as well as baby Ryan. Noah, Gracie, Lily, and Lila will always be nearby. They are right there in your heart. That is where I keep my Debbie. Karen

Thank you for letting us know, Kay. My heart just bleeds for this very special family. Allen and Katie have strength that most us of cannot imagine.

Marty, Hope the Birthday Fairy showers you with a ton of birthday dust. Karen

Never any snow here, for sure. Has been in the 80's all week. Unseasonably warm, but I'll be darned if I will turn on the air in February. Marg, same problem at my daughter's rural Kentucky home. Could only get service in one corner of upstairs bedroom or on the porch. Of course, I only had a cheap trac phone at the time. Don't even have a cell phone anymore. Don't go anywhere that I would need one. Still searching for a place in the mountains, but slim pickins' in our price range. Want to stay in the west. Maine is beautiful in summer, but can't see myself in ALL that snow in winter. Will probably end up stuck in Az until I die. Thinking maybe some of the sadness will stay behind if I move. Most wishes don't come true as we all know.

No trouble that I am aware of, Gin. Just thought that maybe there was a lull in the conversation. I'm just trying to stay afloat like so many of us here. Luv Ya, Karen

Allen and Katie, I am so, so sorry. Your father loved each of you so much. Wishing peace for all of you.

Kay, Thinking of you today and hoping that Donna will rally again. You have all been through so much. Sending you love and strength. Love, Karen

Gwen, I didn't sing, but played loud, upbeat music when I cleaned. Our house was never fancy, but spotless. Don't care for loud music or cleaning much anymore. Oh, I keep the place up, but in the war against dust, dust is winning along with dog hair.

I'm not sure if the lack of concentration is attributed to age or just the stress of daily survival. I find myself rereading a sentence or a paragraph to keep the story in context. Something I have never had to do before. Heck, I used to be able to do 4 things at once. Half the time, I forget what I was doing or why I went into a room, now.

Have read all of J.J. Jance, also all of Nevada Barr. Her heroine is a Nat'l Park Ranger. What a dream job that would have been 40 years ago! I'll check out the others you mentioned. I read until 5 or 6 in the morning, TV in the background and dogs by my side. All I need is the mountains and the fireplace. lol

Marg, Thank you to you and Billy for alerting me to C.J. Box. I have read every one of his books and eagerly await the next one. I love the Wyoming location which is dear to my heart. Ron was not a reader, but I have been all my life. Because of my hobby of making beaded jewelry, Ron spent numerous hours patiently waiting for me in bead stores. Had to hit at least one in every town we visited. lol Very little interest in that anymore, although I have made a variety of silver "cowboy" earrings(boots, saddles, spurs, six guns, etc.) Something to do to fill the countless hours..........

I have been trapped in that zone for a very long time now.

Loneliness has no age restrictions. I would enjoy having some companionship. I have perused some of the dating sites, but it goes against my nature and my pocketbook to pay for obtaining a date. Why not just hire a gigolo? lol Seriously ,the men I found in my age bracket were looking for women 25 years younger and not for companionship. It was kind of creepy and frightening to me. In reality, I think I was looking for Ron and of course, he wasn't there.

Marg, I'll bet each and every one of us complained to our mates about something that got on our nerves and they complained about things that we did. That's just human nature. What we wouldn't give now to experience those trivial little things! Someone on the cancer forum was complaining that her husband left Gatorade bottles sitting around. I bit my tongue and didn't tell her that one day she might hopefully look around for those bottles again. I only wish I had Ron's clothes to pick up off the floor where he shed them.

Had a less than joyful moment yesterday. I was channel surfing and landed on the Jewelry Channel which I sometimes peruse to break the monotony. They were presenting a gold pendant with an angel and the inscription "Always by your side". It was like the one I gave my daughter during her long battle with cancer. Needless to say, it does not enhance the Christmas spirit for me, which is non existent for me. For the first time in my long life, there is not a single present under the little tree. Of course we all know, the presents we really want wouldn't fit there anyway. Hope everyone has a peaceful holiday.

Cannot seem to get into the holiday season, either. Have not even put up my little tree. Can't think of anything to get for "my guys" with my meager funds. Dodged another bullet today. I'm prone to skin cancer and get nervous when new mole type things appear. Had a pre-cancerous thing removed about four months ago from my arm. Discovered one which was getting bigger on top of my head a few weeks ago. Couldn't see it, of course, but was worried because of the growth factor. Went to my dermatologist today and he froze it off. It was not cancerous, but would likely continue to grow. It had a fancy name, but in reality is known as a barnacle of age. Oh, the joys of getting older. LOL

Happy Birthday, my Anne! Hope you are doing something fun today and enjoying this cooler weather, finally. Karen