Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Recommended Posts

Have been dealing with sciatica for about a week.  Terrible winds blowing today...blew down a palm tree onto my car and crushed the windshield, knocked off passenger mirror.  Found a baby squirrel in the debris,,, figured out a way to keep her warm and was able to find someone to take it and save it.  A little baby girl squirrel.  My emotions are bouncing all over the place...and I still have a Steelers game to watch in an hour. I was in that car earlier today, moving it on the driveway to make room for my MIL's car.  Didn't want to drive to store because was afraid leg would start cramping and might make me lose control of car.  Going to doc tomorrow morning for check up and to find out about my leg. 

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maryann,

Sorry you are having such a crappy day, everything happening at once. Hope you can get the car repaired soon, that your pain disappears, and your team wins. Good for you for saving the little squirrel. Funny, I never thought of squirrels being in palm trees. I'm a forest girl when the opportunity presents itself.

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

There was an adult squirrel near the base of the tree...tree has been dead a while, but birds had been nesting there, so never wanted to take it down. Car will be fixed...glad it did not fall on house...or neighbors cars. Heard HUGE thud, did not expect crushed windshield of car.  Just hoping I get sleep tonight.

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear about your car. Thankfully it didn't happen while you were in it tho. Wind is supposed to be better tomorrow. If so i plan to spend a few hours down on the island. Try to take a mental break from everything. 

One foot in front of the other...

Darrel

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Been having a battle with sciatica myself for over a week.  Never knew so much pain.  So sorry about your car but so glad you weren't in it. I saw my doc and she said there was little to do except pain meds and wait it out.  Easy for her to say.  One thing that did help was avoiding stairs.  Glad you saved the squirrel!

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

OMG, Maryann, I'm so glad YOU weren't in the car when the tree blew down on it!  I hope your insurance takes care of the windshield and mirror.  I'm sorry you're going through problems with your sciatica, and Gwen too.  I recently had problems with mine because of overdoing it shoveling snow, the pain is excruciating!  Kept me up all night.  I found it helped to ice it and take Ibuprofen.  I hope you're able to get in to your doctor today.  I found that laying flat on my bed (no pillow under your neck) and putting a firm log pillow under my knee so that my back was completely flat helped bring me some relief.

I love that you saved the squirrel!  And I smiled that with all this going on you thought about the Steelers game.  :)

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hugs, Maryann... I'm so glad you are ok.  I hate storms without Ron.  We had one too the other night, I heard all sorts of things flinging around and dropping... I did not go and look.  How did your Dr's appt go?

Patty

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Doctor diagnosed the sciatica...going to be on steroids for a week and will have pain meds when the prescription is filled.  I need to go and see a physical therapist to see ways to keep from aggravating it (have already figured that out).  Yesterday was not a good day.  They came and got the car to take it for inspection, and it broke my heart to see the car being towed away. See photos below. I'm lucky; it could have been worse.  It could have fallen on my house.  Bright spot was rescuing the baby squirrel.  The lady sent me a photo this morning of the little baby girl.  I stayed at work a little longer than usual yesterday to try and catch up (between two sick days and a rain day, missed a lot of time)and by days end I was really cranky and irritated.  Thursday night when the pain hit bad, and I was alone and it was really too late to call anyone, I just really cried and wandered through the house just asking for the pain to stop.  I know I was alone for a good part of my life here in Texas, but once you have someone there when times are bad and you are scared, it REALLY changes how you handle it.  My emotions are still all stirred up and it is hard to describe why to other people.  But I am glad that I now have a plan to treat this and try and get back to where I was before everything took a tumble, so to speak.  

wind damage 009.JPG

wind damage 015.JPG

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maryann.... I have sciatica too...the neuro surgeon said the nerve damage from the accident that causes my lower left leg to be numb may be permanent. It gets very uncomfortable to drive for long periods..my right leg bothers me badly....I guess pushing the gas pedal...etc.

Good luck on the therapy. I can imagine your shock at the windshield....very glad you weren't in the car.

Sweet story about the squirrel :-)...Hope today is a better day for you.

Marie

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Got the estimate on the car yesterday... $3,318.00.  Am supposed to get it back on 02/07.  Have been relatively pain free most of the week, although I haven't really been pushing myself to do anything.  Have a prescription for pain meds if it returns.  Have two more days on steroid treatment...keeping an eye on blood sugar, but so far it seems to be maintaining correct numbers.  Is low dose of 40MG a day for five days.  

  • Upvote 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry to hijack your thread, Maryann, but the title was perfect.

Today would have been Steve's and my 34th anniversary.   Doubt we would have done more than exchange cards, but even that little thing meant the world as w always personalized them with poems.   we would have gone somewhere different for dinner Saturday night for it.  An anniversary place so he could get a Reuben and I could get a patty melt.  Real high rollers. :)

4 years ago he gave me an anniversary ring for our 30th and that is more valuable to me than my wedding ring.   See it as the getting married was the easy part, the making it thru decades together was the real testament to that commitment.

Of course, he is not here, but I also am getting a cold so I feel that old saying.....never ever say things can't get worse.  This is the last holiday I have to get thru til October when everything starts up again with his death, bdays and the 'happy happy joy joy' holidays I just tolerate now.

its an odd feeling.  I haven't emotionally crashed, but I feel like I am done.  Done with the world.  Back to that 'why am I even here anymore' mode.  I've been waiting and looking for meaning or purpose for 27 months now and nada.  This really feels like slow torture.  I really can't think of any other words.  Tonight will be another like so many.  Alone.

 

  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

24 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

its an odd feeling.  I haven't emotionally crashed, but I feel like I am done.  Done with the world.  Back to that 'why am I even here anymore' mode.  I've been waiting and looking for meaning or purpose for 27 months now and nada.  This really feels like slow torture.  I really can't think of any other words.  Tonight will be another like so many.  Alone.

 

Gwenivere, let me first start by saying Happy Anniversary, your love story is one to be desired because yall were together for several decades, it's something I always hoped for in my own relationship but was never able to reach. I hope this day will bring you more joy than sadness. Joy for the many beautiful years you were able to share with each other and joy for the love that will always remain. 

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

Thank you AB.  Joy is not a word in my vocabulary anymore.  Yes, there was joy, but I question if if I will ever feel it again.  If I could feel some kind of peace that would be the closest thing.

I'm apologize Gwenivere for the insensitivity. I understand exactly what you mean "joy" wasnt the right word to say but rather I hope you can feel a bit of peace. I pray for peace for us all even if it's just a few moments of it. 

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't like dates.  But will keep on buying Valentine's cards, birthday cards of course for family and will sign his name also on everything, forever more.  I'm sorry we cannot have our mates anymore.  I wish you moments of peace and hope you get to feeling better.

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Boulevard of Broken Dreams
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's only me, and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one, and I walk alone
I walk alone, I walk alone
I walk alone and I walk a
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone
Ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and every thing's all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone
I walk alone, I walk alone
I walk Full lyrics on Google Play Music
  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for all your thoughts and wishes.  I just got home from volunteering and found this weird thing that happens occasionally.  There was a missed call on my phone display from Steve.  I have yet to figure out why it happens, I'm sure it is something from a ringback when a solicitor calls and hangs up, but it was freaky to come home to today.  The number listed he called from is our home phone number.  Can't call you own phone.  It's the last thing I really needed to see.  These are the times I wish I could still drink my Jack Daniels and call it a day.  ?

  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Gwen,

My thoughts are with you at this trying time for you, but I wanted to point something out. We often talk about "signs" from our loved ones, especially when we are struggling to make it through. I believe that Steve wanted to reach out to you at this time so you can know he is with you. When I was reading your post, that is exactly what came to my mind. I wish I could find a way to give you hope that there WILL be better days. Sunday will be 26 months that my Mark is gone...there is NOT a time that I am not missing him or wishing I could turn back time to have him once again by my side. I know I may sound like a Pollyanna, and I don't want to offend you or anyone here. We have all been there for each other, and continue to reach out a hand. There are moments of joy to be had. Looking for them is use less because we hurt so very much. But our loved ones WANT us to have them, and sometimes bring them to us. Our wedding anniversary is coming up on Valentine's Day...and I am not allowing myself to look that far ahead. Today is what I allow myself to focus on. It could hold triggers, and turn dark. But right now I have hope for a good day; it has taken almost 26 months to get to this point. I wish you moments of peace that build into minutes and hours and days. We should not feel guilty for having some joy; it does not lessen the love for our spouses...it is an extension of it. That love will be with us FOREVER, just as they will.  I know having their spirit with us is NOT enough...We want MORE. But to begin to heal, we must accept whatever part of them we can have. Sorry if this sounds preaching, it is not my intention. It truly SUCKS to be without our loved one...and it is not fair. I hope Steve continues to try and touch your life to help you know his love is there.

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

4 years ago he gave me an anniversary ring for our 30th and that is more valuable to me than my wedding ring.   See it as the getting married was the easy part, the making it thru decades together was the real testament to that commitment.

Gwen, that is beautifully stated and profoundly true!  I wish to God we'd gotten as long together as you.  I know it wouldn't have made any real difference as our commitment was as solid as they come, but there is something about the tried and true part that speaks so much...something we were getting to more and more.

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gwen you say the 'happy happy joy joy' holidays I just tolerate now.

its an odd feeling.  I haven't emotionally crashed, but I feel like I am done.  Done with the world.  Back to that 'why am I even here anymore' mode.  I've been waiting and looking for meaning or purpose for 27 months now and nada.  This really feels like slow torture.  I really can't think of any other words.  Tonight will be another like so many.  Alone

I wish I could think, wonder what that's like...  I know what it's like and I wish neither of us has this knowledge.  

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My doc today suggested tests.  I told her if I had anything I did not want to know about it.  I am doing okay.  No blood or excess pain.  I want to see my granddaughter to where she can live her own life, no pushing, just want to be around and she suggested I take antidepressants.  If they could find one giant antidepressant with a gray beard, blond and gray hair, about 6'2" stooped, and add life to the pill, I would be just fine.  I'm tired of probing, prodding, and invading.  I do very well.  Heck, even after this crazy diet my blood sugar was only 81.  I will have to get more exercise only because I want to keep mobile.  

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...