Guest moparlicious Posted August 16, 2008 Report Share Posted August 16, 2008 Hello all my friends,As some of you may or may not know on Aug 20th will be a year my beloved Dan has left this earth. I do not like to say gone, because he is never gone, he will remain in my heart forever. I am having a very very hard time as each day approaches closer to "the day". We were going to have a big thing for Dan but pushed it to the weekend. I cannot stop crying and need some support. I remember every detail this final week, every smile, every hug and every word he said. I miss him so much,. Dan died at the age of 41, left behind a wife and 3 children, we were together 24 years since high school. I am blessed for so many memories and hold them true and dear, but the pain increases every day till I feel like I am going to burst. I know I would not have made it this far without all of you. I feel Dan's presence in many ways, but long for him everyday. Thanks for listening and caring. Love, Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted August 16, 2008 Report Share Posted August 16, 2008 Kim, dear ~ We are here for you, and will continue to be here for you on August 20 and beyond, just as you are here for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted August 16, 2008 Report Share Posted August 16, 2008 Dear Kim... I pray that you will continue to grow in this new life of yours. It's a very hard thing and you are so young to be going through it and so many responsibilities, too. If you've ever read any of my posts over time, you'll know how you progress in this "grief" thing we all go through. Each day you do grow, you do fall back, you do deal with this life that's put before you. The memories are the wonderful thing, and nothing will ever take them away...they're yours. Your wonderful husband, I know, is sitting on your shoulder looking at you with so much love, just like he did when he lived here. Take care, Kim, and be as strong as you can facing your future.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted August 16, 2008 Report Share Posted August 16, 2008 Kim,I remember the year mark all too well and it was my experience that the days leading up to it were worse that the actual day. What I did was plan the day. For me I decided to plant a tree on that day to comerate the day. I went to the grave site and put out flowers and then came home and planted the tree and some grass as well. Find something to do for that day to get you through, and we will be here for you.love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusky Posted August 16, 2008 Report Share Posted August 16, 2008 Kim,Thinking of you as this day approaches. We are all here if you need us - all ways will be here for you.Love and Peace,John - Dusky is my handle on hereLove you Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeann Posted August 16, 2008 Report Share Posted August 16, 2008 Kim, I will be thinking of you.(((Hugs)))leeann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimb Posted August 16, 2008 Report Share Posted August 16, 2008 kimi will be thinking and praying for you as the day approaches. I hope you find comfort here with all your friends here.God bless youkimb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted August 16, 2008 Report Share Posted August 16, 2008 Kim,I completely agree with what Derek said,it is so true. The anticipation of the anniversary is much worse than the actual date itself. I got so worked up over my one year anniversary approaching that I got myself sick and run down, both William and I did. I asked my sister to come over that evening and we played games and did a sleep over and I got through the day with out a hitch. Please find something to keep you busy, be with friends or family and most of all remember your famiily here is always here for you when you need us. I will be thinking of you on Wednesday and I know you can do this and am here if you need me.Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moparlicious Posted August 16, 2008 Report Share Posted August 16, 2008 Thank you Marty, Karen (haven't seen you around for awhile, and you have been a great rock for me!!!! ),Kim b, Derek (your so awesome and a VERY good friend too me), Dusky(I never know where to begin with you, you write beautifully and always make me smile),Leann, and Wendy( you are one exceptional women, I love you alot!!!!) Thank you everyone your kind words, hugs, prayers and just being here for me is helping. I have been feeling very restless and sick lately. I love the thought of Dan being on my shoulder. I long for him everyday and smell him in the breeze, see his eyes shine in the sunlight and feel his tears with the rain. Several good things have come our way lately, but I always seem to pick up the phone and try to call him, but then I realize. A part of me still waits for him to walk through the front door or wake me up early on a Sat for biscuits and gravy(he loved those)but then I remember. This weekend has begun very slow for me, I am taking baby steps for I am so sad today and miss him very much. I need everyone of you and you all touch my heart, being here for me as another one of the hardest days of my life approaches. I love you all, Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted August 16, 2008 Report Share Posted August 16, 2008 Kim, I know you long for Dan. Its so very hard to be without the ones we love. It seems incredible that time is passing so fast and yet it feels like yesterday for most of us. I wanted you to tell you to hold Dan close in your heart and you will feel the love he has for you too. Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moparlicious Posted August 16, 2008 Report Share Posted August 16, 2008 Deborah,Thank you for your kind words, and I will do just that!!! Love you much, Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeC Posted August 17, 2008 Report Share Posted August 17, 2008 Kim, I wish there was something I could say that would lift your spirits. In my short experience with this new life that has been forced upon me I find most days are hard to get through, but somehow I manage to get through them. My heart goes out to you, just as all the other hearts here do.Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Posted August 17, 2008 Report Share Posted August 17, 2008 Dear Kim, At times when I read these posts, I feel so so sad because there just seems to be nothing that makes the sadness or pain go away or even bearable....sometimes words, comfort by friends or family helps - but only temporarily and then the despair seems to come back...but at least -at least - there's this temporary relief...sometimes I think I'll lose my mind if I don't start feeling better...and like you - I'm having an anniversary date of sorts - August 19 - that was one year ago that Rich and I arrived in California for his treatment at a clinical trial for pancreatic cancer....we had SO MUCH HOPE...but it didn't work and he died in California...2500 miles from home...I can't stand these days. If it wasn't for my one cousin, I don't think I'd be here now....but as I listened to "IRish Blessing" put on here by Dusky...she is "the friend who is worth that name"....she is hours away, but calls me almost every day and I don';t know if she even realizes how much she is helping me....Kim, I hope from the deepest part of my soul that coming here to this site is helping you....I know how much I miss Rich and knowing that I can know how much you are hurting. Love, Lily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vickie O'Neil Posted August 17, 2008 Report Share Posted August 17, 2008 KIm,My heart reaches out to you, the death anniversary for my husband was August 6th. I have spent this month recounting happier times mentally, Pat's death & all the agony of the year he was sick. I think people are afraid to call me, for I've been in tears so often this month, not like me. My mind has rambled endlessly through these memories. If I had a switch I'd turn my mind off.a poem by Cindy Ritchie says... What do we live for but to breathe life from all nature, and to give it back. What do we die for, but to breathe effortlessly from an eternal being that is part of us all. The mind seeks out the way to go when spirit knows the way.I understand your pain, Kim..please take care of yourself.Vickie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanneC Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 Kim:My prayers go with you and your family as the one year approaches.We are all here for you.Love and God BlessJeanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moparlicious Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 Thank you all for your kindness and help. it is Mon morning and I woke up crying. As the day approaches, I feel like I want to explode the tears just keep flowing and flowing, I am trying to find other things to distract me, but nothing seems to be working, ugh this day has started out so bad. Love, Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 Kim,For me, the day approaching was worse than the actual day, but it was hard nonetheless. Know that your friends here are thinking of you.Love,KayC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teny Posted August 19, 2008 Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 Im thinking of you from far away.I know how hard it is.TENY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted August 19, 2008 Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 Kim, dear ~ As you anticipate and plan how you'll spend tomorrow, I hope you'll find the posts in these threads helpful:Feeling DownMemoriesFirst Year AnniversaryIs This Normal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeann Posted August 19, 2008 Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 (((((Kim)))))) Hugs for you.You are in my thoughts.leeann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted August 19, 2008 Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 Kim,I know that your one year mark is upon you. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you face this day and I pray that it won't be as difficult as you think that it will be. Reading one of the posts that Marty just linked was my first post from when I was facing my one year mark. Looking back at that and what I was going through back then is what it sounds liek you are going through. We are here for you and looking back I do remember that the actual day was not as bad. The 2nd year mark went even easier in fact I had very little difficulty with the deays leading up to that mark. So keep in mind, it will get better, just focus on today, and come up with a plan to get through the day and you will be fine.Love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlg Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 Kim,You are in my prayers tonight and will be in my thoughts tomorrow. I hope all the angel wings will raise you up and help you get through the day.Are you still having your tribute at the park this weekend? If so, in case I don't post again my thoughts will be with you then too.Mary Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeC Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 I hope you have a good day today, Kim. I will keep you in my thoughts.Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 Kim I'm thinking about you today. One year it is hard to believe that you have made it this far but you have so give yourself a big hug. For me it is 19 months today that my husband died and like you I never thought that I would make it but I did. Taking little steps and someday's there where more steps backwards then forwards but I have made it this far and so will you. Do something good for yourself today. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shhh65 Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 Kim,You are in my prayers today. All the firsts that come before the first anniversary of the day our spouses died are so difficult and I'm imagining that it will be especially hard when I come to that day which will be December 22nd. I pray that something will happen today that brings you some measure of comfort. I am currently reading "Roses in December" and I see how important it was to the woman who wrote it when she received her special "roses" on the first anniversary of her son's death. Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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