kayc Posted September 16, 2013 Report Share Posted September 16, 2013 You'll be stylin' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 16, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2013 That is about the only part of me that will be "stylin' " I am not a fancy dressin' person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 16, 2013 Report Share Posted September 16, 2013 I don't know, if I was a rapper I'd write a song about it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2013 Queen Mary...break a leg Friday!!! I know it will go well and be a major hit....because YOU are the brains behind the operation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2013 The past 4 months of eyes, surgeries, driving, driving, and more driving has taken its toll. I slept for 3 hours of naps yesterday and got 9 hours in last night. 12 hours is good! I am starting to feel a bit human again and will continue to lay low. Today I am going to make a gigantic pot of chili...freezing most of it. It is chili weather. Fog in the valley in the morning is always a sign of autumn. Our village sits in the valley where the Wisconsin River once flowed. It has receded over the past million or two years leaving a lush expanse of hills and meadows bordering the river and there sits little tiny Spring Green. The valley is about 1.5 miles wide...the river now a few hundred feet. Bill and I always tripled the chili recipe and had it on hand to defrost after hiking or biking. Then this evening is our "going to Mexico fiesta meal" at my friend and fellow watercolorist's home. Hmmm, what can I bring? I am anxious to get my new glasses. The gal from the vision center needing my credit card number again yesterday as she over charged me and wanted to refund it....I could not read the numbers on my credit card. That is how the afternoon and evenings have been since the first surgery in July. My eyes just give way...from strain and dryness (the latter from the meds). My brother called to see how my eyes were last evening. He was still out east and coming home today. I asked how the wedding was. Small talk. Katelyn and bridal party came to the wedding via boat (they live on the ocean). He said it was too bad I could not come. I have no clue what that means. Amen to wedding. I felt sad when I saw his name on my cell and got a small knot in my stomach...but not as big as it once was, however...doing our inner work helps. Peaceful moments today Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2013 Queen Mary, I think you see the ophthalmologist Wednesday or Thursday. Do let me know about pressures. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 17, 2013 Report Share Posted September 17, 2013 Mary, A friend, giving me advice about dealing with my mom, told me to let it come, let it go, in and out, flowing, like releasing toxic waste...in...out. It helped. When her poisonous words would come I would picture them flowing to, then away from me and I would release them. Try this with your brother when he says something iffy sounding again. It doesn't matter what he means by it...in...out. Let it go. Queenie Mary, I know you're probably too busy to write right now, this being Hell Week and all, but know that we are thinking of you as you prepare for your play and see the ophthalmologist. Crossing our fingers for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted September 18, 2013 Report Share Posted September 18, 2013 Thanks friends, "Hell Week" is actually going great, set is finished, actors are coming close to peaking (don't want that to happen until Friday night), and I am still laughing through each rehearsal....so I know our audience is going to love it. We have already sold a bunch of tickets, so I think we will have good crowds. As for the eyes....eye pressure was taken today (did not see dr.) the left eye has improved a lot, is 20, as opposed to the higher pressure of 25 to 27 earlier. Right eye has always been better, it was 18. I see the eye doc next week to evaluate for cataracts, and will talk to him some about the success of the laser procedure. As far as I am concerned it was a success. Got the programs finished, and will be printing them at the OAC office tomorrow....things are falling into place. Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2013 Congratulations! This is such great news...glaucoma controlled....fantastic! Good for you. I know the relief!!! Play almost underway....thinking of you. We will talk when this is all over. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 18, 2013 Report Share Posted September 18, 2013 QM, wish I was there to help you with your programs, sounds like you're coming in on the home stretch though! I'm so happy to hear your news, your eye pressures are great! What a relief this is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 18, 2013 Report Share Posted September 18, 2013 Wonderful news about your eyes, Mary (the royal one) ~ Hooray for YOU! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted September 18, 2013 Report Share Posted September 18, 2013 Dear Mary, And now we cam all let out that other breath we have been holding in. Great news. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2013 Well, I guess I had to crash at some point...I usually do following a period of stress. Anxious all day today, edgy and knew I just needed to cry and release these months of stress and embrace grief again. Instead the feeling of being on edge kept increasing so I took a chance and started watching a movie from my past. I was 16 when I first saw the Eddy Duchin Story not knowing then that I would someday feel the same joy, deep love and finally loss and pain depicted in this movie that is woven through with Chopin (Nocture in E flat Major) and other wonderful music. Madly in love, she dies in childbirth, and he goes on alone. Well, it served its purpose and left me in, not a puddle, but an ocean of tears as it always has the several times I have seen this movie (Bill, also when he watched it with me)...tears that I have not held back but tears that have waited/needed to flow. The distraction of these past months...being caught up in driving and surgery and eyes and stress...is gone and the void of grief has reappeared...It will be noisy and demanding for a while and then subside again taking its place deep in my soul. I have been here before. I have slept many, many hours since Saturday...not like me but needed...I still feel the need for more and will get that as the week wears on...and then get up and walk the next segment of this labyrinth of grief/life/peace/loss/grace/pain/joy/gratitude/tears. I quit asking how long this journey is. I now know it never ends...I know that deep in my soul. And that is fine because it does subside, teaches me, transforms me and is a sign of the love we shared. Just as I finished writing this I got a PM from my older (of the two) niece who just went through a painful divorce...talking about how hard the wedding was for her as well as joyful, how lonely she is and I felt her sadness...too young to go through loss...she is also called upon to walk her own labyrinth. Peace Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 19, 2013 Report Share Posted September 19, 2013 Mary, I'm sorry for your niece, I know how hard that is. I hope in all of this she can realize her life isn't over yet and she may have the best yet to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 20, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 I have my glasses. The Rx is pretty different so my eyes are tired from wearing them for the past 3 hours. The progressive lenses will take some getting used to but not as much as I anticipated. So far I am best off on the computer with no glasses but that may be eye fatigue along with the effects of meds. Time will tell. As I drove home looking out over the lush hills and the beauty here, I found tears rolling down my face...that this IS over and I CAN SEE. That is sinking in right now. It has been so much easier having all of you behind me and in that surgery room...it was pretty crowded in there I thank each of you. Love Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 20, 2013 Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 Mary, dear, this is just the best news ever! Hooray for you! Hooray for us! It has been our most precious pleasure to "be there" for you, as you have always been there for all of us. You've waited so long and worked so hard to get to this place, and we are so, so happy for you! You can SEE! Yay! I know Bentley is smiling at you and for you and with you ~ and that smile must be quite beautiful, given those freshly cleaned teeth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 20, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 Thank you so much, Marty. I do not think it has sunk in yet...that this is over. It really started while Bill was sick and I put it off. Then when he died, I needed to get my wits about me until Sharon told me...the time is NOW. Getting the meds out of my life will clear up my vision...but the bottom line is...I CAN see...well. As for Bentley, he is not feeling great...still kind of dopey and following me around and panting (what Goldens do a lot of esp when stressed). So I cuddle with him whenever he wants....kind of swaddle him with my body. His teeth look great. Thank you. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted September 20, 2013 Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 Excellent news. YAAAAAAAY!. Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 21, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 Thank you, Harry...a long and winding road...and now a place to rest on it. Thank you Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted September 21, 2013 Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 I'm just very happy for you, Mary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 21, 2013 Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 Yep, I want to see pictures of him with his pearly grin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 21, 2013 Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 Oh Mary, that is great news! I am so glad for you! Wow, they were fast, I am impressed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 21, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 She put a rush on it because I could not read my Visa number to her over the phone (which she needed to refund my card for something). It is a great outfit. I like them but have to adjust to the new Rx and to the progressives. Soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 Mary, I am so happy you have your glasses and are adjusting to them. Such a relief for you that this is all behind you!! I do have some news about my eyes. I had the cataract eval. today. First the pressure in left eye is down to 18 today....since his target for my eyes was 24, I am doing great. He was very pleased with the results of the laser procedure. I was measured, etc, and evaluated for cataract surgery. Mary, I do not have to have the special lens, so medicare and my supplement should take care of everything!! I will probably be able to see pretty good at a distance, but will probably still need glasses to read. I really don't mind wearing glasses, I have worn them for over 60 years, and my face would feel naked without them. The surgery on right eye is Nov. 18, and left eye is Dec. 9. He thinks I will have a very successful outcome. Of course they dilated my eyes today, so things are a little weird, but I am feeling pretty good. No longer have to take any of the drops I started after the laser procedure, just my regular 3 times a day ones. Will post about the play on the "Positive" thread. Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 Dear Mary, So glad your pressures are down and lower than he hoped for. Good for you. Next step is surgery and I wonder how you are feeling about that piece of this journey. As I said, the surgery itself was the easiest part of this for me. As for my eyes, still hoping for better vision. Drops stopped last Friday so hope that is why I am still having some problems. My eyes are not my healthiest part of my body. So I am trying to be patient and give the meds a chance to get out of my system. Glasses do not seem to be effective on my laptop. When I dock my laptop, that vision is good (great) without glasses and ok with the laptop un docked. Reading is the problem...my eyes seem to tired very quickly but I am still not out of the normal healing time so I must practice patience. I CAN see well with a few hitches. If you want to chat before your surgery...just let me know so I am home and free...i.e. not with a client. I am so happy for you that things are shaping up. Congrats big time. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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