feralfae Posted September 14, 2013 Report Share Posted September 14, 2013 We are here for you. Right here with you. fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted September 14, 2013 Report Share Posted September 14, 2013 Mary, I will rest when I hear you are at the hotel sleeping and relaxing until morning. I know that you are thinking about the wedding you are not attending, the long drives you make, your Bill not being physically with you, Bentley waiting at his pet hotel, your physical exhaustion over the last months, whether or not you will be able to adjust to the monovision....no wonder you are not sleeping at times. Safe drive back home. Check in when you are able to. Watching you..... Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 14, 2013 I am at the Hyatt...a lovely room. When I walked in, I burst into tears. This feels like a turning point in my life...and I am very weary and lonely for Bill. The good news is that my eyes are excellent. The eye strain is due to the eyes still healing, dry eyes, age...glasses will help. I can't read for long blocks of time right now. Pressure in first eye has already dropped from 25 to 15. Second eye should follow in a month when I have been off drops for 3 weeks...one week to go. Sensitivity to light is already better but dry eyes fuel that. It will all come in time. I need to rest the eyes, get the glasses ordered Monday. The monovision is all but gone as the eyes have changed...I thought it had..I felt it. Eyes almost match and glasses will fix what is left. This feels like a miracle and I now humbly in gratitude. I start a new leg of my journey...I got pretty off track with these eyes (though we all know life is what happens when we are making other plans), Wedding and family stuff...reactive rather than responsive. i do not deal with things as well as i did before Bill got sick but that will change. Time for me to settle down and focus on being...the first thing is REST...doing what I want to do....the next three weeks are easy now...and autumn is in the air. Woke to 40 degrees this ,morning, fog on the river and hints of autumn...my kind of weather. Going to take a long nap, order food and go to bed after I eat it. I thank you all for holding me on this journey. More on that later... With love Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted September 14, 2013 Report Share Posted September 14, 2013 happiness. great joy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted September 14, 2013 Report Share Posted September 14, 2013 Dear Mary, Oh, I am so very, very happy. We will all be dancing Snoopy dances, except me. I will twirl around my walking staff and sing off-key, with happiness for all the very good news. Now is time to rest. Now is time to heal. Now is time to let yourself settle into your new center, and find your balance there. You are so very, very ready to make more beauty on this Earth. I can feel it in my bones. But for now, and near future, you will rest and we will all celebrate this miracle of medicine with you. I am so glad we have these super body mechanics. And may of them are remaining human, understanding how much that energy helps with the outcomes and healing. You did good to find a good doc. Beautiful work, there, artist. *<twinkles>* Congratulations!!! *<twinkles>* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 14, 2013 Report Share Posted September 14, 2013 Oh Mary, that is wonderful news! This is the best news we could have had! I hope you have already eaten and are resting. Think good thoughts for the bride ad groom but do not feel bad that you can't be there, you are where you need to be and are doing what you need to be doing. We all love you and can't wait until you and Bentley are safely home together! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2013 Thank you so very much. I have been sleeping. My body is super stiff and painful...like someone beat me up. I convinced the hotel whoever to deliver my dinner and tipped well food is so so but the room is awesome including the tea. Going to be somewhat scarce for a while...eyes were pushed today....drops, numbing meds, three kinds of artificial tears. And more.... Fae...take care of that knee. Anne...thinking of you Kay...I did not read much but I caught something about a toe...be good to your self Harry...rest Peace to all, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 15, 2013 Report Share Posted September 15, 2013 Mary, I'm soaking my toe in Epsom salts right now, will do my best with it and if it doesn't help, will go to the doctor, whether insurance or not. Sleep well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted September 15, 2013 Report Share Posted September 15, 2013 Mary, I am icing my knee, not walking much at all, using a walking staff. I plan to not move again tomorrow. Beautiful Dreams *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted September 15, 2013 Report Share Posted September 15, 2013 Mary, I am so happy that your eyes are fine. Peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2013 I am home....it rained (poured) the entire way until I crossed the river outside of Spring Green. Bentley is extremely glad to see me...clinging...playful. I arrived at the hotel at 4:30 yesterday and slept about 11 hours. Got some yogurt and fruit and coffee and left...a shorter drive today as the hotel location was 45 minutes into my normal drive... Hard to see today (glasses soon), rain, eyelids swollen, vision compromised, more tired than I knew. The traffic was mostly heading south as the crowds go home from WI so that was good. Slept 11 hours last night through many bizarre dreams. This feels like the beginning of another segment on my journey through this growing labyrinth. It is not the beginning of a new life...that awaits me someday when I join Bill...just another segment of my life here which I will take day by day...no clue where it is leading (but does anyone know..really know the future?). It is time to take care of me...heal...enjoy the beauty of autumn with all of its gifts...and go forward. It always feels lonely to drive into the garage knowing there is no one here to wrap his arms around me or better yet, get out of the car with me. So grateful for Bentley who is clinging and smiling and was prancing about but is now resting near my feet. I am in for the day...a gray, rainy day which is just fine...as it washes away this segment of my labyrinth called "healing eyes and wedding hangover". I bow humbly and gratefully knowing that my eyes are fine...at least for a long while...maybe as long as I live. I choose not to think of possible cornea transplants that may be needed someday...today my eyes are doing well according to my surgeon, Sharon. I am grateful to each of you for listening to me prattle, express fear, sadness and hope and more for so many months and supporting me with love and understanding. I do not know what I would have done without you backing me up through this chapter....truly. Anne, as I type these words, how I wish good news about your health would come your way...I am not forgetting your challenges as I celebrate my good news. With love and gratitude Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted September 15, 2013 Report Share Posted September 15, 2013 My dear Mary, Always Thinking of Others. I as well as many others can rest now that you and Bentley are safe at home. I know you love the rain. I know you miss your Bill. I am so glad for good news for you. I am glad that your body allowed you to catch up on the rest you needed. Blessings to your eye surgeon, Sharon. Thanking God for leading you safely home. Rest and Heal, Rest and Heal. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 15, 2013 Report Share Posted September 15, 2013 Welcome home, dear Mary, welcome home. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 15, 2013 Report Share Posted September 15, 2013 Mary, it is so good to hear that you and Bentley are safely tucked away at home and you even got 11 hours sleep! I hope you will enjoy resting today, in from the rain, home in your sanctuary...and now we can rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted September 15, 2013 Report Share Posted September 15, 2013 Dear Mary, To the above, I will merely add, "Amen." Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted September 15, 2013 Report Share Posted September 15, 2013 Mary, I too am so very very happy that you are home and healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted September 15, 2013 Report Share Posted September 15, 2013 My dear Mary, I also am glad you are home and resting. Maybe when I get this "hell week" over we can enjoy a long conversation on the phone. "Hell week" is always the week of production. We open Friday night, and every waking moment is consumed with thoughts and plans for the production. We will have late rehearsals as we fine tune, then will have a wonderful weekend of performances, then rest next week. But this is not about me, it is about you, and I am happy you are home and everything is very successful. You give me much hope.Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted September 16, 2013 Report Share Posted September 16, 2013 Dear Bill's Mary, I am so glad you are home and resting with Bentley right there at your feet. I wish you a restorative and healing rest this evening and tonight. Much Love, *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 16, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2013 Dear Kay, fae, Harry, Anne, Jan, Queen Mary and Marty, Thank you for being in my life and supporting me. I think it will take a few days before the feeling of being beat up goes away. I know it won't happen today....I will pick out new glasses today and that is about it...laying low... fae, it looks like you are taking care of yourself...soooooooooo good. Tomorrow evening our Local Color (watercolor) group is meeting at one of the member's homes (instead of painting). She has invited our group to Mexico in February. She and her husband sold their tea house and are going to Mexico for 3 months in January and have invited us to come down and paint together. They are renting a 5 bedroom home complete with an art studio (they are both artists) for a ridiculously low cost and she wants to show us videos of the area and see how many are coming down. I am seriously thinking about it. I have not had a vacation since Bill and I went to Door Co early in his Alzheimer's...maybe 2006. Cost would be airfare and meals and generous tips for the maid. Being with this circle of women is overall healing. They know I escape to silence often. I am especially close to the one who has invited us....so hoping for my own bedroom if I go . For now....time to heal...relax...catch up on some paperwork. Again thank you. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted September 16, 2013 Report Share Posted September 16, 2013 Oh Mary you should go. As long as you get your own room. So important. Sounds like an ideal holiday for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted September 16, 2013 Report Share Posted September 16, 2013 Oh, Mary, G*d closes a door, and opens a window. Something to which you can look forward with happiness and eager anticipation, for you will be all healed by then. Wonderful for Mexico! What a lovely opportunity to have a vacation that will be healing, give you an opportunity to use your "new" eyes, and be among people who know and love you. Yes, I hope you can arrange to have your own room, so you can have your own retreat time. I love how these opportunities always seem to show up right on time. Yes, I am truly babying this knee. So, I am off all PT this and perhaps next week until things heal more. Gentle movements, no weights on the ankles, no biking for at least a week. I am slowly getting more in touch with my body and remembering how precious it used to be to me before the cauda. As the nerves are re-growing and awakening (my surmise, but the docs said it would take a long time for some of the nerves to regrow, so I am being optimistic that they are coming back), I also seem to be awakening, as well as getting to know myself as this new person I am today. Slowly advancing into this retreat time, booklet in hand, notebook in hand, pen in pocket. It feels as though it is becoming and interesting journey. I hope you and Bentley are just continuing to rest and heal together. I am just glad you have Bentley there with you. What a comfort! Rest. Heal. Be well. Much Love, *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 16, 2013 Report Share Posted September 16, 2013 Mary, I do hope you can go to Mexico with your friend/s! What a wonderful healing time that would be! And I am hoping you love your new glasses...I know you select them today, how long do you have to wait to get them? fae, So glad you are babying your knee. I hope you are finding "quiet activities" to keep you occupied...perhaps even a good movie to watch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 16, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2013 I just returned from ordering glasses...pricey things I found a pair I like a lot. I am about to take a nap. I think I will have them early next week...what a major relief that will be. If Sharon changes my Rx within a year...I get free replacement lens. I have to think about Mexico...long way off. Do I really want to be with a group for a week? Not sure...though I know I am free to go on my own anytime and doing plein air there would be pretty awesome. Too tired to decide right now. Thanks, Kay mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 16, 2013 Report Share Posted September 16, 2013 Oh yes, my last glasses were over $700, it's awful! Rest your eyes now, plenty of time to think about Mexico... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 16, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2013 Well, Medicare paid for part of the lens...about half. I upgraded from what they offer to pay for. They paid $70 towards frames. So I ended up paying about $450. Medicare pays only for a basic (no custom) lens and inexpensive frame after cataract surgery. I have to get Rx sunglasses also and I will get 20% off of those but will wait to make sure my eyes do not change first. I must have UV protection outside for my eyes and they can not put that on the material my lens are made of. C'est la vie. I was relieved to find a frame I liked....and she put a rush on them for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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