Froggie4635 Posted July 8, 2016 Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 I really truly regret turning on the news this morning. How is it possible to find some sort of peace after what we have experienced when the world just seems to have gone completely crazy? It makes me thankful that I do not have children/grandchildren. This feeling of everything being so unsettled so much of the time is just too much. It makes it hard to find peace. You work hard to regain some sort of solid footing, and that gets shaken by events that really have nothing personally to do with you. I guess I should feel good that these events DO affect me, that I am not dead inside and I don't hide my head in the sand. But on the other hand, it is so difficult to calm myself when things become so unsettled. Does anyone else feel the same way? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted July 8, 2016 Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 It is a sad day. The world is loosing it. It seems there is no limit to inflicting horror and death. I don't have children but I think of what kind of world my nephews will live in. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 8, 2016 Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 Excerpt from Tragedy in Orlando, Collective Grief and Aftershocks of Loss: If the tragic events in Orlando yesterday were heavy for you and served as a painful reminder of the personal loss or losses you’ve endured, you are not alone in the sorrow you’re experiencing today. Once again our entire nation finds itself immersed in collective grief. For many Americans the feelings of grief associated with this horrific event seem just as raw as they did when the terrorist attacks happened on September 11, 2001. A newscast or film clip from Orlando can catch us by surprise, acting as a trigger, and it’s as if we’re confronted not only with traumatic memories of 9/11, but of our own personal losses as well—for the first time, all over again. Like aftershocks following an earthquake, some of the feelings we experienced then and thought we had put behind us can crash in upon us like a tidal wave—especially when we are flooded with so many reminders in the media. Painful images surround us, and it feels as if we’re starting the entire mourning process anew. Read on here >>> 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Froggie4635 Posted July 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 Thanks, Marty... Sometimes it just feels like an uphill battle. Each time you find some solid footing, something knocks you off it, or it crumbles away. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 8, 2016 Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 I understand, dear Maryann. There are times when I wish we could return to the days of no cable TV, no 24-hour "news" cycle, no infringement on our quiet time. I don't think being bombarded with bad news (over which we have absolutely no control) every minute of every day is healthy ~ most especially when we are grieving. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 8, 2016 Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 Orlando? I thought you were talking about Dallas TX. I'll have to look up what happened in Orlando. It seems a lot happened after I watched the 5:00 news yesterday. Yesterday left me quite upset as I watched (and read about) the video in Minnesota (policeman shot and killed a black man for no reason). This following the one that took place in Louisiana. This comes to my mind: " These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33". I remember reading that as a teenager, and how it affected me. We have plenty of tribulation/troubles in this world. Peace? I think that is something that comes from within. Yes, you can have peace even when the whole work has gone amuk. And it seems to have. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 8, 2016 Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 The article I referenced was written and published on June 13, 2016, Kay ~ after the Orlando nightclub massacre. The shootings in Dallas are the most recent horror . . . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 8, 2016 Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 I went back and read Marty's link and was relieved something new hadn't happened in Orlando. Gosh, I can't even keep up with all of these tragedies! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Froggie4635 Posted July 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 Our society has reached a point where EVERYTHING must be posted, or tweeted. I have stepped away from Facebook and I do not tweet or text or snapchat. It has gotten out of hand where everyone thinks everything should be public and everyone wants to know everyone's business. Putting things on social media before the dust has even cleared, before charges are leveled in crimes, or if it WAS a crime. We have gotten to the point where we rush to judgement, inciting riots and people who then feel the need to take justice into their own hands. There has been, in my eyes, an overabundance of leniency and people doing whatever they feel like doing. It is like Pandora's box...once we let it out to run, there is no gaining it back. Instant gratification is now what is expected. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 8, 2016 Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 We have control over our own social media. We control who we are friends with. We control whose posts end up on our wall. We control what we respond to. My "wall" does not look like your "wall" because we have made different choices. So what comes across as a positive venue for one might come across as a negative venue for another because of our individual choices. We can isolate ourselves from FB, tweets, snapchat, etc. but we can't isolate ourselves from the world, it's still happening. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted July 8, 2016 Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 Following this post. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 8, 2016 Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 Here's another article with helpful suggestions for coping with all these tragic events that keep piling up: Fighting Back Against 'Grief Overload' 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mittam99 Posted July 9, 2016 Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 9 hours ago, Froggie4635 said: Our society has reached a point where EVERYTHING must be posted, or tweeted. It has gotten out of hand where everyone thinks everything should be public and everyone wants to know everyone's business. Putting things on social media before the dust has even cleared.. Unfortunately Maryann, this is our society. It's been like that for a long time. Everybody seems to want their 15 minutes of fame. From YouTube, to "selfies" and everything in between we've become a "look at me" world. It's seems like people have changed but I'm not so sure. I often wonder if our parents and grandparents had access to the kind of technology we have if anything would be different. Maybe not. People as a rule want to be heard. Want to be liked. It's human nature, I think. Facebook in particular has gotten out of hand. Used properly, it's a nice way to communicate with family and friends. But things often are posted that probably shouldn't be and the ripple effects can be devastating. I know Katie was so proud she had well over 1,000 "friends" on her page. Of which, (I'm guessing) ten were actually real friends, if that. Maybe the fact that our emotions are already on shaky ground (as grievers) has us more apt to be bothered or irritated by things in general. I mean, when Tammy was alive I was able to vent about things that "bugged" me to a loving, understanding ear and now it's just me and my inner voice. All of life's irritations seem magnified now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdownes Posted July 9, 2016 Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 I stopped watching the news years ago do much sadness and violence this is not the world I want for my kids or grandbabies, I really don't go on web much accept for here have no use for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted July 9, 2016 Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 I dislike social networks more and more. Not because of them but for the misuse people do with them. The whole thing has evolved to cancel more and more limits to privacy and intimacy. I cancelled many people from facebook and left those who I really care to read what is going on. I rarely post something. I"like" pages that send news for discounts or cultural activities. I cancelled my instagram account. I never owned a smartphone and I refuse to have one, because it will imply to be online 24/24. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted July 9, 2016 Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 I have children and grandchildren and don't think I don't worry. I've had a good long wonderful life but will they? I am reminded of something I heard Carl Sagan say that one day there will be the last perfect day on earth and all life will come to an end. He was of course referring to the death of our sun but it brought to mind that children then will never see the life I was able to enjoy. Eventually the earth has to end but that is a long time from now. I wonder if generations before me worried about how things were going to be for their children and grandchildren. I think they did and so maybe now it's my turn. The world we live in now is so in our face with social media making sure we know every baby that burped and every person who dies a tragic death. I was reading just the other day some old newspapers from the thirties and forties. I noticed how few words were written about what was happening in the war compared to little wars all over the globe in our time. I read about a plane crash that killed every one on board so long ago and yet with so little detail. Perhaps there was more horror back then we were not aware of. This reminds me of a line from a movie Men in Black when Tommy Lee Jones said "There is always an Arquilian battle cruiser about to attack, or some intergalactic plague about to wipe out all life on this planet. The only reason these people can get on with their happy little lives is that they don't know about it". There may be something to this philosophy. Do you ever wish you didn't know so much? Good or bad, we can't stop technology from changing our world. I am not discounting the importance of lives lost to horrific events. I'm just saying how grief for my wife makes me so much more sad watching newly grieving families on the news every day. It looks so different to me now. I never related to those families like I do today. Now that I have experienced such sorrow myself, I can't forget. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 9, 2016 Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 Yes, Stephen, I agree. We need to remember that life is difficult and it's always been thus. As you say, it is only in recent years that social media and the 24-hour "news" cycle have kept us so informed of all the daily tragedies in the world. One only needs to read history to see that mankind has been struggling since the beginning of time, and dying, death and loss are natural parts of living. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted July 9, 2016 Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 1 hour ago, scba said: I dislike social networks more and more. Not because of them but for the misuse people do with them. The whole thing has evolved to cancel more and more limits to privacy and intimacy. I cancelled many people from facebook and left those who I really care to read what is going on. I rarely post something. I"like" pages that send news for discounts or cultural activities. I cancelled my instagram account. I never owned a smartphone and I refuse to have one, because it will imply to be online 24/24. I use a smart phone for my business. I have a Facebook account but I only post encouraging, funny, and inspiring ones. I do not like my Facebook to my phone. I don't text while driving and only answer the phone via Bluetooth. If the call is important, I pull off to the side of the road. It is a tool that can be used wisely. The video of the man shot in Minnesota only gives one side of the story. I don't know what led up to it. Only assumptions. I found it shocking that this woman had the calmness to start a live video feed after her boyfriend was shot. It is easy to jump to conclusions, especially during these emotionally charged times. I know feelings are not FACTS. I am saddened by all of the violence everywhere and the many people who are stirring up both sides into a civil war. (Religious views expressed) Peace. My peace comes from my faith and belief in Jesus Christ. My favorite verse is Phil 4:6-8 Shalom - George 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 9, 2016 Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 Sometimes the bad news can be overload and we either get immune to it or we're kept in a state of horror that isn't good for us long term. It's why I seldom read international news, gosh, I can hardly handle national news! I skim through it just enough to keep somewhat current in world events but I'm sure I miss a lot. It's only been the last century that people have been privy to so much world information continually. This FB reminder made me stop and look at my "friends" and I deleted a few, they won't even notice. I feel good about the list I have now and that's the important thing. Although none of them were negative people, I never saw notifications about them and they weren't people I cared to keep up with so why have them? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted July 9, 2016 Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 My way of coping is to change channels. If there is any way of avoiding the depressing bombardment of horror I do it. I don't read the papers or follow any 'news' feeds. Ignoring it might not be socially responsible but a healthier mind is being socially responsible, I think. I will continue hoping that society takes a step back and sees the destruction. It couldn't hurt. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted July 10, 2016 Report Share Posted July 10, 2016 On 7/9/2016 at 9:28 AM, MartyT said: dying, death and loss are natural parts of living I struggle sometimes on where to put things, under what topic and I usually go to my own topic about "going through hell." (I wonder, do you capitalize "hell?") Stupid little wonderings. Like my neighbor told me "Margaret, we are of the age we are going to be losing our friends." That is true, then we have the Orlando's and the Dallas's, the Baton Rouge's, all the other places. One of my friends just traveled to Florida for vacation with a friend. Her sister, on FB, told her she was so glad she was out of the city because the threat from the "Black Panther's to kill all whites and policemen was a rumor making the rounds. Said that everyone needed to get their weapons ready. Yeah, that is what we need, more innuendo's, more weapons. Makes me think of the Biblical passage mentioning "wars and rumors of wars." Just what we need, more fear. Some of my best friends have different colored skin than I do. How can I say that? My skin has freckles, I am brown and I am white, so where does that put me? I find time to get on this forum and pour out my heart, but I cannot find time to read, and like my grandmother before me, reading is a big part of my life. I have become entrapped in watching "Gossip Girl" on Netflix, something Billy and I never would have watched, but I am enmeshed in this show, watching other people's tragedies as if they will cover my own. My granddaughter and I have watched so many seasons of shows that Billy and I would not have watched. I have not watched my soap operas in weeks. I don't know if Victor is out of jail or on the other show if Sonny has had Julian killed yet. My life is a soap opera. Last night after a binge of the show I pulled myself away, too much to do today, so I read on my Kindle until sleepy. I bought Martin Short, the comedian's autobiography. I turned to the chapter on him losing his wife of many, many years Nancy to ovarian cancer. Comedians make us laugh, but at what expense? Like Robin Williams. It made me think of Steven and another of our members that after losing their mate, they had shortages of electricity to different things. After his wife Nancy left he all of a sudden had flickering lights, electrical mysteries. Someone told him to have it checked. He did and there was no reason for the power shortages. This morning I put my hands on Billy's urn and begged "Please help me." I went to the big window and looked at the sky and in my faltering faith I begged Jesus for help also, talking to him and to Billy. I don't know if my prayers go beyond the ceiling sometimes, but clearly I need help. In plugging back in my Kindle from last night, setting it on the drawer beside the computer screen a Cardinal, a male red Cardinal flew to the porch and sat. Am I looking for signs, pulling at straws and strings? I don't know, but clearly I have to get out of my quicksand and organize. Not my best quality. I put this under "How to find peace" because I will always search for it, will imagine but not fully accept signs. I don't know, and clearly that should be another topic "I don't know." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted July 10, 2016 Report Share Posted July 10, 2016 I could put an addendum to the above, but will add this. I am getting calls to help me from all over this town. Remember that old thing on TV "Please Mother, I had rather do it myself." I feel pushed. Why am I hating being pushed by people who want to help. What strange idiotic feelings are driving my persona, my psyche, myself? I don't know this person who lives in my body anymore. I don't know that I ever did, even though I have had over 70 years to get used to her. She still is an enigma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted July 10, 2016 Report Share Posted July 10, 2016 You are not alone Marg. It is very awkward to be living in our current bodies with our used brains trying to grasp today's concepts and accepting the new not-improved versions of ourselves. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted July 10, 2016 Report Share Posted July 10, 2016 Thanks Marita. My heart, no, I am sure all our hearts are with you also. It is very awkward. Very lonely in with a bunch of people, in fact, I am not comfortable in a bunch of people. That did not use to be. I think we are supposed to slowly get ourselves used to it a little bit at a time. Not sure I can do that. Not even sure if that is written. Might be something I thought I read. I do that often, think without proof. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 11, 2016 Report Share Posted July 11, 2016 Well I'm glad you're getting offers of help, even if you'd rather do it yourself. I feel completely alone and don't get such offers so I leave everything be. It'd be nice to feel cared about though. I'm sorry you're hearing about threats, that has to be frightening. I wish people could realize that all lives matter, and it's not about what color/race/religion you are. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now