Widowedbysuicide

Well worth reading! Thanks for sharing.

I hope you're feeling a bit better each day. Thinking of you. ?

Hang in there Finch. This is another of those huge waves of grief. It hurts like hell right now but it will pass. Then you'll be almost ok till the next one. ?

I'm so sorry KayC I really can't imagine your pain. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

I'm so happy for you KayC. What a beautiful little miracle of life. Smashing pair!

Finch I think you and I are in the same situation with our grief right now. I'm exhausted too. I don't know what I think or feel as so much of my life is just following the same old routine. I say old but I mean discouraging. The weather here has been very unusual. We have been getting large snowfalls with a few days of melting and then another big dump of the white stuff. Trying to do anything to keep the horses mucked out is really difficult. Wheelbarrows and 3 feet of snow is so sad it's funny! I'm sending you kind thoughts and wishes for better days to come.

After life. Existence. Isolation. Fear. Exhaustion. Grief. I would not wish any of these on anyone. I'm really feeling tired. And a little sorry for myself.

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It sounds like wonderful times are on there way. Elizabeth Anne is a DOLL. I'm feeling excited for you. ?

You have truly helped me more than once Mitch. There were times when I just wanted to opt out of life but your posts have comforted me and inspired me. I know Tammy must be proud of all you have done here and elsewhere in this world. A love like yours does not fade it is an everlasting bloom. I'm sorry that Tammy was taken from the life you both loved. ?

So sorry for all the complications George. I'm sending you a big hug and positive energy ?

Sending prayers to you Butch. ?

Sending you hopes for some comfort today.

Good for you Herc. I am not much of a cook, could use lessons but I'm at that 'just don't care' stage. I was doing not to bad getting the who is who figured out but then I've been feeling like crap so I often withdraw from everything. Too bad you are part of this family, becoming a member sucks, but there are always people here who care and if they don't understand they are sensitive to each other's feelings and opinions.

I'm sending you some big healing hugs. Along with my prayers for you and your family. ?

She is a doll. Thinking of you Butch ?

That was well put KayC. I know that those friends on here who were in unconventional relationships are really struggling with guilt. If thoughts of guilt override the memories of love and affection that guilt might erase your good memories. Try to focus on the good things. As a widow of suicide the guilt was huge with me also, along with all the questions and the sadness of not being there with him. Not telling him how much I loved him. Yes, my heart is broken. I want him to live on in our son and in what we built together. I want to keep the beautiful memories and not distract from them with my baggage of guilt, and shame.

I hope your health continues to improve. Grief is so hard on our body, mind, and soul. Sisterly hugs to you ?

Thanks MartyT. I wish it wasn't so true. I'm glad I have this forum to come to.

Hugs to all ?

It really is heartbreaking to know so many of you wonderful people are suffering so badly. If I can find a magic wand I will grant the big wish we all want. To have our loved ones back in our lives.

Hi Numb And Lost, I can definitely empathize with some of what you are feeling. The torment is enormous. At 13 months I don't think my grief has peaked. There are days where I can manage with only slight outbursts but other times it's like it just happened and everything is so raw. I don't know how it feels to be in your place where you feel so alone in your grief because he wasn't your husband. I would not think it could be easy. I'm sorry that you are hurting so badly and have no one to comfort you. All I can say is please don't give up. If you want to send me a personal message I would be happy to correspond with you. ?

Thank you for reposting Anne ?

Thank you for your comments MartyT. I did watch the video all the way through and recognise the names now that you mention them. Somehow I missed Miss Mocha and Skye but I will look again. I have too many fur family in heaven. One day I shall see them again.

Today is .... February 22, 2017 I feel better today than I did at the time I last posted. We had sunshine and I asserted myself in a good way. The ups and downs are still crazy. Sunny days help. 3 feet of snow in two days doesn't help. This picture was taken before it stopped snowing. I was so tired of clearing my driveway that I quit taking pictures.