My Sanity Needed Vents

[Gwenivere]

Woke up and still feel sick from all the pills I am taking.  Don’t know how to get around that.  Nor the depression that I'll never be a part of the world again.  
 

Housekeeper showed up (Larenna), and it wasn’t on my calendar.  A surprise to both of us.  Nice to have clean house and body.  I missed a lot of exercise.  Not used to giving myself permission for that.  The after dinner hour came as usual.  Dee all weepy and angry the same time.  Me trying to field it all without huge drama.  
 

Watched a good movie while under the effects of sedating pills and. after eating stomach overload.  Time to get 5o bed soon.  Wiill have to have pretend champagne.  Miss the real thing. 🥳

[kayc]

Gwen, so glad you got your house cleaned and shower too?  Hope so!  Dee is a lush, drama queen, it has to be very hard to live with that.  Wish she'd quit drinking so you could see what she's like w/o it!

Had 4 Rottweilers on the loose here yesterday, growled and bared teeth at my neighbor who called me just as we were getting ready to walk out the door!  Close call!  Drove Kodie miles away to the park to walk, can't do that every day!  Posted on FB and FB Chat about the dogs, reported to Lane County Animal Control, she TURNED THE DOGS LOOSE on Dead Mtn to "run!"  I told her that is mighty irresponsible of her.  LOTS of people came forward that they reported these dogs ford killing chickens, cat, badly attacking a dog, cornering a child, you name it, yet Lane County says they have no reports..  BS!  One person msgd me with the business card one officer left with her.  Nothing has been done!  Nothing will be done!  I asked Lane County WTH our licensing fees are for!!!  This has gone on for YEARS!  The owner finally got three of the dogs back after a whole day of this, but the mom dog was still loose last night.  Beyond annoying, she's a meth head that breeds vicious dogs and is irresponsible yet gets away with it, making them all OUR problem, yet Lane County won't do a damned thing about it, rendering us prisoners in our own home!

I'm glad you got a good movie in!  I was slammed with phone calls from my SIL yesterday, six calls, and msgs besides, I took my phone off the hook, I'd already given her an hour to talk, that was enough!  I mean she wouldn't even let me shower in peace!  Talked to George but hard to understand with his phone's new provider, reception not good.  Got back to Lane County, had to leave a message, they didn't call back.

[KarenK]

Gosh Kay, I hope all those dogs have gone back home. A pack of any large breed of dogs is dangerous, especially threatening ones. Maybe you should carry pepper spray. Sad that the county won't do their job until someone gets hurt.

I have no problem with neighbors celebrating New Years with fireworks, but get real! My neighbors(father and sons, I think) started at 7:30 and continued for 5+ hours. My dog has been an absolute scared nervous wreck. She walked from room to room the whole time trying to hide or glued herself to me. I couldn't even go to the bathroom without her. Twice she squeezed behind the tv in the corner in the middle of all the wires. Not an easy feat at 90 lbs. Took me forever to get her out. I blocked it off. Glad it's finally over(knock on wood). They were loud and sounded like a war zone out back. She has finally calmed down. Our bigger dog was not fazed by it at all. Go figure!

[Gwenivere]

Dee hasn’t been drinking lately.  It’s the grief about her friends death.  I don’t know how she handled her partner’s , but she’s facing this one like hasn’t had to before.  She did sleepwalk Friday night so yesterday was very weird.  I’ve d one it before and Steve did a couple times.  It’s very disorienting in the morning.  Dee found bowls and spoons when she got up.  Steve left out paper cups filled with parmesan cheese.  I woke up fully dressed even to shoes in bed.  Called my counselor and she never had a client that d id it..  googled it and stress is a trigger.  She had been planning a memorial for her  friend.

Picked up our burgers for last night for last night from JIBox.  Got 2 new moves front Netflix.  Good to go.  Heard the cops here already arrested a drunk driver at 9am.  Unbelievable. Long way til midnight.  Driving.  Very many police and state troopers out for the day and night.  Already hearing fireworks and loud noises 3 hours ago at 9pm.  
 

Don't know if I’ll have a Zoom with Nina today.  I don’t know how much longer I can keep up this wanting out of this life and to myself.  Just a couple people know so I don’t get locked up and lose all control.  
 

Having a terrible time with withdrawal feelings several times a day.  It’s the most horrible feeling. They happen the same time every time a day.  Even after I take my meds.  Makes me want to take-more to stop them.  So much an addicts thinking.  
 

JIBox burger was a nice change.  Been eating too much chocolate after  dinner.  Almost bed time.  S o hot and uncomfortable.  Don’t know what to ell my shrink that I haven’t done his lowered anxiety meds.  I don’t want to lie and say I had a sr ptas. I always felt that he might pull this and it’s the worst time with the opiates.

 

Glad to see 2022 gone.  Don’t have much hope in 2023. Hope 5he  best for everyone else.

 

 

[kayc]

1 hour ago, KarenK said:

Sad that the county won't do their job until someone gets hurt.

They have so many reports from people and lied about it, caring only about their upcoming three day weekend!  They get all of our licensing fees which are exorbitant and what do they use it for?

I'm sorry you had all the noise, Karen!  Someone two places down set off a ton of fireworks in the woods, scared me they'd start a fire, illegal here, but it's morning and all is quiet so must have made it through!

Poor doggy!  My Lucky was that way, I'd have to get something from the vet to calm her.  Kodie is curious but not afraid.  It helps I was with him.  Not usually fireworks up here!  I heard the party three houses down the other way but since I could close the house up it didn't bother me much.

Reported the 14 duplicate posts to Marty, she'll likely delete sometime...

So glad Dee isn't drinking but her behavior sure sounds like it!  The way she treats you and she's living in YOUR HOME with you at her mercy!

[KarenK]

Noisy, exploding fireworks(like those last night) are illegal here, but hard to enforce as police actually have to see it happen. So unless it is reported and observed it will continue. I'm sure police have more pressing offenses like drunks and maintaining control at the many outdoor parties that take place. The various cities cordon off downtown areas for these and it's probably mayhem enough. If not for the dog, it doesn't bother me. I don't care to be the nosy old neighborhood snitch.  lol

Raining and dreary here today. A good day to cuddle up with the person we miss, sadly. Our big New Years dinner will be tuna sandwiches. Thankful we have that with grocery prices.

[Gwenivere]

Seahawk game today.   Dee already gone with a buddy to watch it.  Was supposed to have a Zoom chat today but Nina’ is walking with someone before and not sure she’ll be back or feel rushed.  
 

Finally got my pre=pain clinic assessment questionnaire filled out for my appointment Tuesday.  3 tries.  Wanted to get info on my anxiety meds and when they were due forgetting everything is closed the holiday.  We don’t know if there is a church dinner tonight.  Dee is going to check later.  We missed las5t week.  Fortunately someone else got us 2 and 2 gift cards.  
 

I spent my afternoon messing with TV recordings.  Tried getting some RX's re filled forgetting it was the holiday.  Used their voice menu.  Don’t know if they’ll call my shrink or not.  Seems they are overdue.  Probably will make him angry but I don’t care.  I'll hear about it from him.  
 

Caught some good old movies.  N by NW and In the Heat of the Night.  Think they me nostalgic for my parents.  I never saw them but they were big deals when I was too young.  They’d be 113  and 1117.  Boggles my mind..

Watched a very intense movie about Guantonimo Bay.  Have to empty my mind about how horrid that place is.  The movie we have for tonight I’m not looking forward to.  Need something better. 

The stress continues.  
 

 

[kayc]

17 hours ago, KarenK said:

Our big New Years dinner will be tuna sandwiches.

That sounds good to me!  I have to have it on a bed of lettuce, no bread, but maybe I'll make that today...if I can get the can open.

My little sister's Guillain-Barre is back with a vengeance, they're in Hawaii and her husband has to help her up/down from the toilet, getting dressed, etc.  Not exactly the vacation they'd imagined.  No idea why the setback.

I have missed church 3 out of the last 4 Sundays because of these burns, the ONE Sunday I went (Christmas) I was literally ORDERED to help in the kitchen, they were horribly short on help, and Cindy didn't show up in there until we were done, and Kaja left right after eating as they always do!  But doing what I could is what popped my blisters and caused this issue, otherwise I'd be fine right now!  It's bright red and has a blood blister on it and it's very painful!  NOT good!  I do not want to go back until this is healed, I am STILL getting texts about how I need to do this and do that, NO!!!  I cannot!  I need to FIRST take care of myself!  As of this month I will not allow myself to be a Deaconess anymore.  They should have asked people ahead of time so they'd have warm bodies in place helping, but they didn't.  Their poor planning doesn't constitute an emergency on my part!  We had more people there eating and more food than ever, they should have thought of this.  I had assumed they'd understand because of my burns, but no!  It does stink I can't go to church but doing what I have to do to protect myself.  Still messaging me with stuff I need to do...no, I'm done.

I won't likely renew Prime next year, am very disappointed, all the "quick shipping" has been from a slow boat from China so to speak, incorrect items, orders lost in shipping, personally I wish they'd refund me, it cost me more than I've spent and a lot of headache.  I do better with WM online.

Karen, I think fireworks are pretty much banned everywhere, very few things you can do, not even sure if you can use sparklers!  The display my neighbors set off is definitely illegal.  So good it rained an inch beforehand so everything was wet, they'd have done it regardless, I'm sure of that.

2 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Probably will make him angry but I don’t care.

I am so sorry you have a doctor that doesn't have any understanding of your situation!  I am thankful to have had someone that renews mine as I don't know what I'd do if they gave me guff.  Will see next time, had some stockpiled so haven't had to renew with this doctor yet.  Will see!

Made it through another holiday season.  Gwen, can't you just order a different movie if you don't want that one?

 

[Gwenivere]

I don’t understand why the people you are dealing with do what they do to you.  I don’t blame you for saying no more.  That doesn’t sound very compassionate to me.  This is through your church?  
 

Had a day of nothingness.  Everything I did didn’t really matter.  Sorting TV shows, a Zoom call  with Nina that makes me feel more disconnected from the world, and  seeing everyday how I couldn’t live on my own, so tapping into that nursing home ultimate fear.  
 

I've managed to piss Dee off so many ways.  She gets ideas of how I could do things to cope better and some are good.  I always appreciate it.  Nina does too, but she doesn’t get mad or make me feel I need to justify my decisions.  We didn’t watch TV or movie together .  Planned Yellowstone, but the DVR. G et the first episode.  I read the synopsis and started with the 2nd.   Am hooked back in.  No other movie had was interesting because she was mad.  Took all he library DVD 's out of the living room like always.  
 

Don't know what I will do this morning when I wake up in the usual escalated depression.  It hasn’t been fair to lay that on Dee.  She’s in the same place.  We use d to share it but it’s gotten so much worse for us both.  
 

 Talk with the pain clinic today.  Gonna have to charge lunch.  I won’t have had my afternoon meds yet.  All these pills make everything tough.  Whined about it s o much.  
 

Better stop here.

[kayc]

2 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I don’t understand why the people you are dealing with do what they do to you.  I don’t blame you for saying no more.  That doesn’t sound very compassionate to me.  This is through your church?  

Yes, unfortunately.  Sometimes people focus on what needs done to the exclusion of those they are dealing with, that is what I think happened, but still I no longer trust being safe there right now, pushed too much and I have to think ultimately about my healing and self-care.  

I wish you had a live in caregiver that was kind to you, not just on occasion but all the time.  I keep thinking of my daughter, how wonderful she is with people, she's been an amazing caregiver and house cleaner, there has to be someone in Seattle like her.

[Gwenivere]

If I could know what sets Dee off I could avoid it.  Yesterday I didn’t talk about my depression and we were fine.  I can’t say I would want it to hear about hers everyday so maybe that is the key.  She’s off on errands for us both.  
 

Had my pain clinic appointment.  So many things to coordinate as I can’t yet go in person.  They are setting up everything virtually at this point in hopes my insurance approves.  One very interesting thing was 5he oxycodone starts its own withdrawal after a long time.  It’s good I am trying but it kicked in itself.  There’s many calls to make between 3 doctors plus PT shows on TV they want me to check out.  Another appointment in 8 weeks and possibly med changes before.  I 'm just not trusting in them.  If I could go in person for the initial ones it would help, but I can’t.  Now I wait till the 5 doctors and my insurance are in agreement on payments.  Left a message to make sure notes a re posted.  I couldn’t keep up with all the plans a n d meds.  I’m 

Absolutely.crazy night with Dee.  I’m going to bed after I play a couple games.  
 

Here's hoping she doesn’t keep me awake.

[kayc]

This is enough to drive a person crazy...your continual battle with Dee, doctors, pain, helplessness, it just goes on and on.

I went to the doctor yesterday, for now she said it looks okay (but didn't sound convincing) but to avoid dishes, etc, took a picture of it, told me to wear gloves when it needs protecting, I do except when I can do something one handed.  She told me what to look for in changes to get right in.

My little sister is going through one of the top two trials of her life, in HI, paralyzed, the one good thing she has going for her is her husband.  I think back to years ago when she wanted to divorce him and I talked her out of it (He'd used her credit, ruining it, behind her back), true but he has so many things to his credit and as I told her, if you're looking for someone perfect, he doesn't exist and there's no one else out there with the same vested in your children, now I think he has given so much back to her and they are closer than ever.  I am impressed with her ability to look on the positive side of things in the face of adversity.  Yet even so my DIL commented right after her post about being paralyzed, she wanted her to watch their kids in Feb and March!  Are you kidding me!  She did the same thing to her when she was on her deathbed with Delta.  I just shake my head.  What kind of a narcissist does that!  Julie turned her phone off with the Delta...

I mean, seriously!

[Margm]

I think I have always been the "dream patient" of all psychiatrists.  I've spent my time being a patient, and I can say, I enjoyed it.  I can come on here, write what is bothering me, and it is long and convoluted.  I read over it and I am "cured" so I can just go back and delete it.

I wish all our problems could be solved so easily.  Love you all and hope for some peace and healing and a lot less pain for all of you.  No one can take the grief away, but that is the interest we pay for having loved.  I do not like to hurt.  I put my hand on the seat next to me like I used to put it on Billy's leg when I was driving.  It was the being close that counted.  I talked to him with the moon shining down through clouds that were blowing across it.  The night before we had had monsoons.  Yesterday I even ran the A/C in my car on my monthly trip to the city north of me (less than 50 miles maybe).  The sun was shining beautifully.  Life is like that sometimes. 

[Gwenivere]

I don’t know why our doctors say to contact them if we notice something different. They have never given me any helpful change.   Maybe walk a little less.  But not too much less.  Will lose muscle, like I have much as it is.  Don’t do anything that causes bad pain.  Everything does.  Come in person, tho there is nothing to see or feel for by hand.  Xrays confirm hardware is OK.  
 

After Tuesday nights craziness with Dee I yelled at her when I got up.  Said i'm sick of trying to guess at what was going to annoy her.  Tired of being the target of all her struggles.  I don’t do that to her.  Only what is legitimate.  She was stunned.  I’ve raised my voice before but nothing like this.   I was not backing down.  She went for a walk, which she said she said she should have the night before.  She’s been fine sine getting home.  We’ll see how today goes.  She’s always battling the alcoholism and I'e done what I could not feeling it.  Done are the days of trying if there is nothing.or something related to me.  She has to tell me.   
 

We had an actually good day yesterday.  The drug withdrawal is becoming a huge challenge.  Counseling today, shower Friday.  Be en on edge about losing power.  Very high winds.  Really wish sleep, shower and meds helped.   I really don’t like how impatient I get on phone calls.  I apologized to an Amazon rep for a refund they owed me.  It’s hard being a nice person and that makes me feel bad.
 

 

[KarenK]

Gwen, does your oxygen concentrator have battery backup if power goes out? I believe some do.

[kayc]

Our power was out three times yesterday!  Had to eat late because couldn't open the refrigerator with the power out.  Tried hooking up my generlink to the meter, don't know what I did wrong but no elec. to house...gave up and took Kodie for an extra walk, after picking up branches in the yard.  I can't just sit there in the dark with nothing to do and am too restless to read.

Tired of resetting clocks!

Gosh, I sure home her oxygen has backup!  storm continuing today, ugh.

[Gwenivere]

If I lose power, the oxygen generator doesn’t work.  I have to rely on tanks that last a few hours on continuous flow.  I have 2.  My only advantage is being i the bi* city with a dense population.  The rural areas are usually the last.

 

[Gwenivere]

The withdrawal is very difficult.  I had counseling yesterday and it  helped a lot.  Jinny helped me with Dee and the decision about getting a cat.  Had a good day with Dee til movie time and shut it down as quickly as I could.  Not going to give it more power before bed.   
 

contacted the pain clinic on this withdrawal without changing all my meds.  Not everyone is on board yet with all the doctors.  I need help with the oxycodone now. I haven’t heard-from my shrink and I want my refills for anxiety.  Small as they are and I hate talking to him.
 

I left a VM cancelling, my shower today.  I don’t know if she will listen to it or show up.  If she does, I’ll have o see ow I’m doing.  I’m so tired of being on edge about everything. Can’t do anything all day for relief.  I’m so shaky all day.  Waking up is a terrible way to start the day.  
 

It dawned on me my hypothyroidism isn’t really being treated at all.  That has a lot do with functioning too.

Don’t know if any of this makes sense at all.  Have a few hours break.  💕

 

[kayc]

14 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

The rural areas are usually the last.

Oh do I know this!  Not just for oxygen but for everything!  Had power out three times the day before yesterday, you never know if it'll be hours or days!  People in the city are fortunate to know their power company will be right on it for them...not so in the country.

Did you get your shower or did she get your message in time?
Hoping something for your anxiety!  I did not know you had Hypothyroidism.  Another challenge.  Fat bombs help constipation, maybe Dee could make them? 

Hypothyroidism:

• tiredness.
• being sensitive to cold.
• weight gain.
• constipation.
• depression.
• slow movements and thoughts.
• muscle aches and weakness.
• muscle cramps.

Keto Fudge Fat Bombs*

Ingredients:

1 cup almond butter/peanut butter:6.9,4.6
1 cup coconut oil or butter @room temp:0
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder:8
1/3 cup coconut flour+ ½ cup Almond Flour (or 2 cups Almond Flour:4)
1-2 Tbsp of classic Erythritol sweetener (I doubled from1-2 to 2-4)
1/16 tsp pink Himalayan salt

Instructions:

1.   Mix almond/peanut butter and coconut oil. To the same pot, add dried ingredients and stir until well-combined.

2.   Pour mixture into bowl and transfer to freezer to solidify, 45 minutes, OR pour into silicone mold. Once solidified, remove bowl from freezer and form into 2 Tbsp balls, place on plate and return to freezer for 15-20 minutes. Can use mini meat-baller (38@.43 each) or candy mold 36 @ .46.

3.   Store in freezer in container.

https://www.justapinch.com/recipes/keto-fudge-fat-bombs-recipe-real.html
#recipe

[Margm]

They have started selling keto everything at Walmart, which makes it easier for the way of life eating.  I envy you really.  I used to have to buy all my supplies at the health store.  Now, any of it would absolutely kill me.  Can say "a good way to die" but then I'd have to put up with the pain and I can't do that, unless (not if, but when) something goes wrong with my own unhealthy diet.  

I think Dee as a home partner can be horrifying, time consuming, or possibly make things where you have to put your worries somewhere else.  Like when I woke up the other morning thinking "I'm 80, I don't need to be here."  Your still young.  Dee sounds like an anxiety producing way of life that may take the mind off the pain, or may provide further pain.  

Things are status quo here.  I have a few more people to worry about than myself, and then I tell myself, I'm too old for this melee.  And by the end of the month I have 3 cents in the bank, because it had to go elsewhere.  I have to convince myself it will be better next month, but it will not.  

I guess we are left to fight all these battles with our own wits, and that is dangerous on my part, I have very few wits left.  

[Gwenivere]

9 hours ago, Margm said:

I guess we are left to fight all these battles with our own wits, and that is dangerous on my part, I have very few wits left.  

Couldn’t have said it any better.  Same about Dee.  I don’t like that she is my only way of staying out of a nursing home because that is where I'd have to go.  I don’t feel she is playing me.  Rather she has mental problems that don’t mix with a living awsituation well.  She can do other social things, but they are short.  She’s a lone wolf so this is hard for her too.  My stress is to diffuse situations as they arise I’ve never had to.  Exercise extreme patience when I barely have any.  Add in withdrawal and all the other medical stuff and I'm surprised I function at all.

My bath aide wouldn’t do my shower for how shaky I am.  Going to see if it’s possible next Tuesday.

I'm sorry to hear that your finances get so strained.  That is anxiety producing, repetitious way to live.  So much out of both our control.  We try and adapt but so much we cannot change.  That’s when I get highly frustrated.  A lot are leaving messages that are never returned.  Or misread.  I labor over them so all of the info is there.  Often resubmitting then with the same things rearranged.  This being a new year, finances will need much tending with deductible.  Ugh.  A lot more things on the calendar medically now.

 Had a  decent night with Dee and  watching a movie.  Not looking forward to another withdrawal day.  Won’t be hearing any help over the weekend.  Wish I had gotten a shower.  Tho I would  still feel yucky.  I’d feel mentally better about myself.

Done whining.  Time to escape for a few hours.  some channel is running a Charmed marathon all weekend and  I lo=e that show.  Play my favorite game and  call it a day.

 

 

[kayc]

18 hours ago, Margm said:

They have started selling keto everything at Walmart, which makes it easier for the way of life eating.

I don't buy "products," we don't recommend it in our diabetic group...largely the companies lie about how many carbs, you have to read labels, know thoroughly what you can/can't have and I no longer trust them!  For instance, one slice of Costco's cauliflower crust pizza is 16 carbs!  How the hell they have 16 carbs/slice I don't know, caul. doesn't come with that many!  I make Eric Berg's Caul. Crust pizza with next to no carbs!  And the easiest I've ever made.  If you buy the products they are also very expensive, I have to cook from scratch, esp. with today's prices.  Carbs are cheap (potatoes, rice, etc) you can get them at food hand outs, they don't hand out free Keto supplies or products either one!  Our gov't is literally making us sick, USDA, etc.

18 hours ago, Margm said:

I guess we are left to fight all these battles with our own wits

You say that's dangerous, but that's all I have so it has to do.

 

2 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

My bath aide wouldn’t do my shower for how shaky I am.

I'm glad she's cautious.  I hope you have a chair in your shower, my sister did, she never could have done it without it.  Even then she sometimes needed someone to spot her getting up/down.  Also I remember she got something removed on her back, Bert had to tend it, so glad she didn't get one after he died although I certainly would have helped her with it.  Hard to make trips up/down the mountain in the snow and her "helper" never helped her with a damn thing!  About all the good she was was taking her $ or driving her on occasion.  Charging her $20 to check her mail!  It should be against the law!  Any neighbor kids would have done it for her and I did twice/week!

2 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Had a  decent night with Dee and  watching a movie.

I'm so glad, you needed that!

Talked to my aunt Jo  yesterday, she cried, her husband passed in April, married 64 years, she's 82 now, he cheated on her their entire marriage, leaving her to feel some kind of way.  I told her that's on him, not her, she was a good wife!  It's appalling.  He may have been my uncle, but she's my aunt, blood or not.  Him I don't own, although she's too fragile to say so to her.  She raised four kids, now only one left, I know what happened to one of them, never heard a thing about the others dying.  All of us aging now, the one that's left is 60.  It goes so fast.

 

 

 

[Margm]

8 hours ago, kayc said:

You say that's dangerous, but that's all I have so it has to do.

 

I said that referring to myself.  

 

On 1/6/2023 at 12:00 PM, Margm said:

I guess we are left to fight all these battles with our own wits, and that is dangerous on my part, I have very few wits left.  

 

[Gwenivere]

I’m so tired of waking up sad I’m alive.. I can’t think of any reason to be here anymore.  It’s fear that stops me.   My choices are do nothing and live like this which is not really living, chance more surgery that may help,  might not work and possibly make it worse.    How does one face that everyday?  Also if it did work i'd be more limited and lead to more?  Keeping in mind mote recoveries with no break in pain since June of last year.  
 

I used to come here and feel so much better for it.  Now I am so self focused I'm not sure I even belong.  My grief has become so twisted.  I think about Steve constantly thru seeing triggers I never had.  All this isolation has me living in the past with things, places or discussions with Dee.  How we did so many things and how many I can’t alone and not just from his not physically being here.  
 

It's affecting everything.  Washed my face and it was such an ordeal.  Such simple things.  Feels good tho.  Cleaned some containers for recycling.  Another big pain production.  
 

Today I have a Zoom meeting with Nina for half an hour if she’s available.  It's a church dinner night.  Wish I had an appetite.  Hate when dinner time comes around.      Like having chocolate/junk food because I can sit comfortably, not make a mess.  Not very healthy.  But then, I wonder….why bother?  
 

Hope you all have a decent day.  💕

[kayc]

13 hours ago, Margm said:

I said that referring to myself.  

Hey, not saying it isn't dangerous for me too, but like I said, it's all I have so it has to do.  I guess if my wits fail my son will have to put me in a home, ha!

Gwen, I hope you got your zoom meeting in.  Gosh, and I can't even do zoom here!