My Sanity Needed Vents

[kayc]

Oh good, I was afraid it'd be as far as Eugene from me, glad it's not!

8 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I hope it doesn’t make it worse for others.  

Don't worry about it!  We care about you.

In severe pain, it's badly blistered, nothing is easy now.  It's snowing and I can't shovel.  This is challenging.  Can't even remember if I told you about it or not...
Friday I burned my hand, palm and finger.  It hurts like the dickens.  I was making Peanut Butter Fat Bombs, and you bring the brown sweetener and butter to a boil and stir it 6-8 min until like caramel, then remove from stove and stir in peanut butter...the Dermatologist office called, I was waiting for my biopsy results and they do not answer the phone or return your call same day so I answered, when I got back to it, it was burned and smoke billowing up. I picked up the handle and put it in the sink...the burned caramel literally jumped out of the pan and onto my palm and finger. I have bad blisters on it, esp. a large one on my palm. I kept it under running water for about a half hour, then iced it the rest of the day. I've been icing it off/on since. I put some burn medicine on it and wrapped it, changed the dressing twice yesterday and again today. I'm worried it'll get infected once the blisters pop. I'm going to try to get in to the doctor tomorrow. Have not felt up to going anywhere, way too much pain! Missed my church's Christmas party last night and their Christmas program today. 
Oh and yes, I have skin cancer, they made an appt. for 12/20 but she'd told me it could wait a month or so, I'm thinking of calling back and changing it so I don't have to deal with that at the same time, but on the other hand, it'd be good to get them both over with...

It hurts like the dickens.  I was making Peanut Butter Fat Bombs, and you bring the brown sweetener and butter to a boil and stir it 6-8 min until like caramel, then remove from stove and stir in peanut butter...the Dermatologist office called, I was waiting for my biopsy results and they do not answer the phone or return your call same day so I answered, when I got back to it, it was burned and smoke billowing up. I picked up the handle and put it in the sink...the burned caramel literally jumped out of the pan and onto my palm and finger. I have bad blisters on it, esp. a large one on my palm. I kept it under running water for about a half hour, then iced it the rest of the day. I've been icing it off/on since. I put some burn medicine on it and wrapped it, changed the dressing twice yesterday and again today. I'm worried it'll get infected once the blisters pop. I'm going to try to get in to the doctor tomorrow. Have not felt up to going anywhere, way too much pain! Missed my church's Christmas party last night and their Christmas program today.
Oh and yes, I have skin cancer again, they made an appt. for 12/20 but she'd told me it could wait a month or so, I'm thinking of calling back and changing it so I don't have to deal with that at the same time, but on the other hand, it'd be good to get them both over with...might need to shovel snow even more in a month or two than now.

[Widow2015]

Oh my goodness kay! 😱 how awful.  I am so sorry to read of your burn as well as needing to return to your dermatologist.  The pain has to be unbearable.  I hope there won't be any infections involved.  Does this keep you from walking Kodie?

 Seems like each day only brings another battle.  I was joking with my son the other day and told him I go to bed each night thinking, "what is going to go wrong for me tomorrow".   Marg, I am beginning to feel like "Joe blipftz" the  Li'l Abner cartoon character.   I admit my woes haven't been as bad as Kay's burned hand and doctor appointments, or Gwen's never-ending health issues.

My problems are small aggravations like being snowed in for 5 days the first week of December, constant changes to my computer such as how we have to battle to pay bills, make appointments, learn how to Zoom, etc.  My old brain doesn't have the ability to keep up with the changes or how to correct them.  I so hate having to ask my son to help me.  Today, my laptop decided not to have any sound.  I accessed the "settings", and it indicates it's as loud as it can go.  Not a big deal on the scale of problems, just a darn aggravation.  

The holidays are supposed to be a Happy Time but like V.R. shared how difficult it is to get past the sadness of missing our special loved one.  I pushed myself to address a few Christmas Cards this year.  The list gets smaller each year.  I am dreading pulling out the Christmas Decorations knowing I should pretend I am in a Holiday Mood for my little family.  This is the first Christmas since Bob passed that I am able to play the Christmas CD's we used to play in our home for so many years.  It was difficult, but since my son finally got my CD player rewired since I moved, I felt I should attempt it.  I convinced myself the pain in my heart will be with me forever, Christmas music or not.   Dee

 

[Gwenivere]

Wow, Dee.  I can’t do anything related to the holidays.  Music is a so very moving thing anytime.  Holidays more so.  Only for that time.  Every morning the radio lays something from my listening life.  I’ve tried other stations but they annoy me.  Hate buzzers.  The real problem is I don’t want to wake up at all.  Got off track there.  Doing cards and decorations too?  You’re really facing this head on.  I hope you share how it feels.  We are each doing the opposite.  You’re walking right into it and I’m trying to throw a blanket over it.  Maybe you’ll find some comfort in the memories.  I might be fearing something I shouldn’t.  Personalities figure in too.

Dee stayed home yesterday to watch the Seahawk game.   Decided going to a bar wasn’t she didn’t want to.  Small break for me with a Zoom call with Nina.  I didn’t mind having  sports on.  I used the time to contact the surgeon about a follow up visit and if my painful walks are worsening the fractures found on the  last X-rays. I’m probably being repetitive with him, but that’s what happens when you get tired all day and bad sleep.

I’m never sure what is accomplished talking to Nina.  She’s so very set calls end in 30 minutes or less.  I told her about that feud Robin tried to start.  Stay away from the boring medical stuff.  Dee went and got Sunday dinner and had a big blowout with Robin so heard about that for a long time.  Now going to  watch TV till dinner and movie time.. I’m passing on some great looking corn on the cob because of my teeth.  Usually cut it off, but don’t want 5o ask Dee to do more.  There’s another one.  Maybe on a night she didn’t have a fight with Robin.

Today is 2 medical Zoom calls.  Oh joy.  Screws up lunch.  But all the days are messed up.  Church over loaded us with food.  Donating half to another place.  
 

Hoping as  always for decent sleep.  Guess that’s a  good sign.  Really want to hear what the surgeon says about the  fractures.  I won’t be feeling the way when I wake up.  Dee has  been very clinging and I’m trying to keep her at bay.  The blowup with Robin has really messed her up more.  So weird to want painful sleep for some alone time.  Glad it’s a CC day.

 

 

[KarenK]

Sounds like you're involved in a love triangle even if you don't want to participate.

I'll probably put up a few decorations this week. I think we'll use the small pre lit tree this year. Last year Robert paid $70 for a real one, which is ludicrous. Even more expensive this year. As usual, no idea what to do for presents. Doubly hard as I can't drive around to look for ideas. This double vision garbage is really frustrating. Getting where it's hard to watch TV sometimes. Watching with one eye at a time is not fun.

Here's another good movie for you to try if you can. Not new. It's called "A Home Of Our Own" with Kathy Bates. Have watched it many times. I wish Paramount + would quit grabbing all the good new shows. I missed "1883" and will miss "1923" and the new "Criminal Minds". Wish Cox would get with the program and provide it. Certainly small irritations in the big scheme of things.

[kayc]

14 hours ago, Widow2015 said:

Does this keep you from walking Kodie?

No, my leash goes around my waist...I've had so many hand injuries I have 10% strength and continual pain I live with so my son got me this, I love it!  It allows me to keep walking.  Kodie is strong so if I have to pull back I use my other hand (which hurts as much but at least it's not trying to heal).

14 hours ago, Widow2015 said:

I hope there won't be any infections involved.

Me too!  Very concerning.  Will see doctor today if I can get in.

14 hours ago, Widow2015 said:

My old brain doesn't have the ability to keep up with the changes or how to correct them. 

This is where I'm at, everything is getting as old as I am!  Discovered my shop floor coming apart from rot to underlying structure.  I closed the door.  Chrome told me it won't be able to update because I have Windows 7, I don't like Windows 10, never saw Windows 11 and both of them hog too much data and constantly bug you with stuff you don't need or want.  That's why I had my son put Windows 7 back on but I don't think even he can get it now.  I tried to update my new laptop and it connected to my internet but it wouldn't work, I don't get how you can reach it but not use it!  What do I know!  I put it away, whatever.  My phone hasn't updated for two years, it's old and cracked, but it doesn't work at my house anyway, only use it to make a call if out if need be.

I missed the Christmas Party night before last and church yesterday, way too much pain!  Everyone tried to get me to go, what part of severe burns didn't they get?  No one called yesterday to say they missed me or how it went, so I guess it must not have been that essential I be there.

I can't do cards anymore, too much pain for that, only two sent me a card, I used to mail out 50.

1 hour ago, Gwenivere said:

Glad it’s a CC day.

??  Close caption?  Credit Card?  No idea...

I'm sorry you didn't get your corn on the cob (Corn Cob day?).  Hard to always be tiptoeing around Dee.

Do you know how you got the fractures?  Is it because your body has become so fragile?  God, no wonder you're always in so much pain!  That on top of the back surgery fail...

Karen, try https://morningsave.com/ they are great with ideas, greatly discounted, shipping is $5.99/month!  I got my daughter a set of knives there, she loves them!  Have bought several things there and they ship right away.  Also I returned a coat and they took it free, don't remember if they sent a label or I had to do it, it was too long ago.  But they are great to work with.

[KarenK]

Kay, I hope you got in to see the doctor. Also hope that some of your church friends will offer to shovel for you. It seems you do a lot of stuff for church functions.

Tough buying gifts for grown men when their main interest is video games and they play those online. Don't need household stuff or clothes. I'm sure they're tired of getting sox and underwear. If I was rich I'd buy us all a motor home to travel the country.  lol  Can barely afford gas for the vehicles we have.

[Margm]

2 hours ago, KarenK said:

 

On 12/11/2022 at 3:03 PM, Widow2015 said:

This is the first Christmas since Bob passed that I am able to play the Christmas CD's we used to play in our home for so many years.  It was difficult, but since my son finally got my CD player rewired since I moved, I felt I should attempt it.  I convinced myself the pain in my heart will be with me forever, Christmas music or not.

Billy hated Elvis and Mickey Gilley, maybe because I enjoyed them.  But, I would not listen while he was around.  After he left, I bought a new Elvis CD a couple of years later and continued to play my Mickey Gilley.  Hearing Elvis just made me cry.  I don't know why.  I could listen to Mickey, but don't know what I did with my CD now.  

Some things do not disappear.  Some mornings I wake up thinking I have to slip out of bed to keep from waking him.  I started my at home job very early so I could enjoy the rest of the day with him.  If I didn't, he would feel guilty for my working, even though it was my choice.  He should have been fishing, or in the woods, but he would not go without me.  I wish I had stopped at least five years earlier, but we cannot go back and change anything.  And this is what holidays do.  

 

[Margm]

2 hours ago, KarenK said:

Don't need household stuff or clothes. I'm sure they're tired of getting sox and underwear

Okay, I forgot to sign out of my last one.  Karen, if they are anything like Scott, socks and underwear are exactly what they want.  I don't think Scott would know where any of his clothes were if Kelli didn't keep them washed.  When living alone, socks were something he wore out of the pack, and where they would wind up, no one knew.  Gotta tell this on Billy.  When we were first married gas was cheap and I would go the 17 miles to Mama's house and wash and dry my clothes.  He ran out of underwear once and I had him put on a pair of my silk panties.  He said "Hmmmm, I could get used to this."  Now, men were not supposed to say that in 1961.  But, they do make silk boxer shorts now with all kinds of pictures, etc. on them and I think Billy would have liked them very much.  Silk feels good on men too, but they usually won't admit to that.

 

[Widow2015]

7 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

 Doing cards and decorations too?  You’re really facing this head on.  I hope you share how it feels.  We are each doing the opposite.  You’re walking right into it and I’m trying to throw a blanket over it.  Maybe you’ll find some comfort in the memories.  I might be fearing something I shouldn’t.  Personalities figure in too.

Gwen:  I need to explain it is all relative to what we call "doing cards and decorations".  I have so few relatives and friends anymore I guess I feel this is my way I can keep in touch with them.  One card was to high school friends, a couple, I grew up with in New Orleans and would stay in their home when Bob and I visited.  I just learned he has cancer and will be starting chemo.  I learned this a few weeks ago after a phone call thanking me for the birthday card I had mailed him.  The fear in his voice was heart breaking.  Couldn't find the righy words to say.  I'm not a good conversationalist so felt a letter included in my Christmas wishes would be best.  I'll call soon and see how the treatments are going.  I mailed out a total of three more, just to let people know I'm still alive.  My sister-in-law and her partner are always sending me cards for each and every occasion on the calendar included with handwritten notes in each.  They don't do email and very little texting.  I think they keep the greeting card companies in business. 

As far as decorations, no tree just some tabletop decorations to set out and hang a plastic wreath that I've had for years.  Last year I hung the ornaments on the wreath that were special memories of Bob that I still have and can't let go of yet. Yes, I guess I do find some comfort in the memories now.  

Yesterday the neighbor knocked on my door and gave me a small swag of evergreens and holly branches.  Such a sweet gesture.  Will try to tie the branches together and hang it at my front door. 

I guess I'm doing this to keep from giving up.  Like I mentioned, the pain is there whether I partake in Christmas or not.   I always think, "What would Bob want me to do?"  We are all so different in how we manage our grief.  I still can't listen to his voice on videos, especially the one where he is reading to our granddaughter. 😭

I so wish you didn't have so much physical pain and disruption in your life so you could find some peace.  Take care.  Hugs, Dee

[Widow2015]

3 hours ago, Margm said:

Billy hated Elvis and Mickey Gilley, maybe because I enjoyed them.  But, I would not listen while he was around.  After he left, I bought a new Elvis CD a couple of years later and continued to play my Mickey Gilley.  Hearing Elvis just made me cry.  I don't know why.  I could listen to Mickey, but don't know what I did with my CD now. 

Marg:  As a teenager, Elvis was my heart throb.  One of my high school friends and I stood in line for hours to get into the Municipal Auditorium in New Orleans to see his show.  We were third row center cheering and sobbing as he performed.  Another time he was in New Orleans a friend heard Elvis was at Pontchartrain Beach at the Bali Hai Restaurant - we lived fairly close to the Beach, so off we went and were able to sneak around as close as we could just to see him.  It's a shame he died like he did.  He was so loved by so many. 

I remember the name Mickey Gilley but don't recall his music. 

No, unfortunately we can't go back and change anything.  I have so many things I wish I could change while we were married.  Dee

[V. R.]

Marg, Dee, Karen, I've just woken up, yet again at 5.30am and have been reading your  very sweet posts. So touching, hearing about  the time you spent together with your soulmates, this time of year is so difficult for all of us. I must admit I 'chuckled' when I read about the socks and underwear dilemma.  In a way, I think they will always remain good useful presents, of course for close family members only. However, there must be a mysterious gravitational space somewhere on our planet which literally swallows up our socks and we end up with "odd socks" lying around, looking for their other half. Oops, I've just made another analogy of how I feel, without meaning to. An 'odd sock'. 

P. S. Marg, I can understand about Elvis being your heartthrob. Have you seen the new film about his life? I loved it, especially for the music and seeing one of my favourite actors Tom Hanks. My daughter and I have been watching all the biographical films of music stars from that period: Ray Charles, Johnny Cash, Chuck Berry, Mike's Davis, and others. Sadly, nowadays, we rarely see  talents like that. My husband and I have always shared a passion for 50s/60s music, 'playing around' on our piano and singing together. I won't be singing John Lennon's Christmas hit anymore, that's for sure😥. 

Enza. 

[V. R.]

P. S. Sorry, I made a typing error, my fingers 'thumbling' on my small mobile phone screen. I meant to write "Miles Davis", of course, not Mike's. 😯

[KarenK]

V, I've always thought there might be a dryer gremlin that steals socks and returns them later, after you've thrown away the mate.

I guess Xmas decorations can make the house more cheerful looking even if that cheer does not extend to your heart. Memories of much happier times are evoked. If only someone could give the gift of returning to those times. Not gonna happen!

Funny, I don't remember being crazy over Elvis or The Beatles. Guess I've always gone more for Country music. Not a big fan of Xmas music. Ron was and I have a lot of Xmas CDs. Don't like Xmas movies. Just too sappy sweet. Life is not like that.

[Gwenivere]

Kay…..Community Center.  I’m trying to find out about the fractures.  Also a bill with my CPA.  So many balls in the.air.  RX 's from my shrink I just noticed the instructions on that would have me in horrendous withdrawal I have to explain I haven’t done as there is withdrawal from two others.  Why I have enough pills but it’s because I knew this and keot a staash I can’t tell him.

 I don’t like to lie.  But this doctor that cut my anxiety meds really is harsh.  Cruel.  Problem with lies is they get too complicated. I feel bad about about myself.  I had an appointment with my primary doctor and he’s at least in possession of compassion.  I have yet to see how many pain pills he’s called in for January ye t tho.  I was honest with him to.  That I had made progress with cutting down on my own.  

Today I do a telemed with a new pulmonologist.  Another messed up afternoon for eating.  Sleeping as well.  Forgot to talk to my doc about my eye thing.    He’s pushing me to come in person.  I should.  Complicated or not, I’m just too discouraged.  
 

We're looking at days not even reaching freezing for highs.  Just have to look at the 
rest of the rest of the northern country to see our complaints are feeble.  
 

Another day of watching reruns of reruns.  I think the channels buy blocks of shows because I keep seeing the same ones.  Well I’ve bored myself too.  Sorry about that.
 

 

 

[kayc]

14 hours ago, KarenK said:

If I was rich I'd buy us all a motor home to travel the country.

Oh gosh, that sounds fun!  I'd bring Kodie, but wouldn't want to do it alone!  One can dream though!

12 hours ago, Margm said:

Karen, if they are anything like Scott, socks and underwear are exactly what they want. 

Hey, they have socks too!  I just bought 15 pairs, one of those things I put off and then all of a sudden get tired of darning and fray check and NEED new ones, ha!  Want enough to last a couple weeks in case the electricity goes out a long while...never forgetting the snowpocalypse (four years ago come Feb.).

12 hours ago, Widow2015 said:

"What would Bob want me to do?"

This is what makes me decorate for Christmas, although way played down from previous years, didn't get out my nativity or music boxes, tablecloth (don't eat at the table and no one comes over)...I did appreciate my friend Iris coming to see my tree, I know she did that just for me!  So sweet!  And Kodie thought she was just coming to see him!  

[kayc]

1 hour ago, Gwenivere said:

Kay…..Community Center.

Haha!  I was coming up with all kinds of CCs (carbon copy...that's an old one!).

Let us know what you learn about the fractures!

Posted about my doctor appt in positives thread, not that it was positive (responding to something Marg said).

[Widow2015]

8 hours ago, KarenK said:

Funny, I don't remember being crazy over Elvis or The Beatles. Guess I've always gone more for Country music. Not a big fan of Xmas music.

Karen:   Once Elvis got into the Las Vegas appearances he kind of lost some of his appeal for me.  And, maybe I grew up and was into raising a family.  I like Country Music as well, as my family listened to Country Music on the radio a lot and the Grand Ole Opry on a black & white TV.   When the Beatles came along in the 60's Bob and I were beginning a life together so don't remember thinking about music too much.  

I agree with you on the Christmas movies.  Not a favorite either. Dee

[kayc]

I haven't watched Christmas movies since 2017, but love the Grinch that Stole Christmas, and am a sap for the Charlie Brown Christmas.  I guess it's not on t.v. anymore unless you pay a special station.  Kind of sad, used to be available to everyone!  Everything goes to the highest bidder now.  I also love A Christmas Story!  (You'll Shoot Your Eyes Out!)

I loved Beatles when I was a teen, remember it on the Ed Sullivan show when it broke!  Also loved Elvis, wanted to go listen to him in concert (Portland) but my mom wouldn't let me.  Would have been a trip I'd always remember!

[KarenK]

I've been trying to remember my favorite as a teen(hard to do when you can barely remember last week). Anyway, I'd have to say Ricky Nelson. He switched to Country in mid 60's. My ex and I saw him at a Country bar. Ran out of seating so we ended up on the floor right in front of the stage. He looked so handsome in his corduroy jacket.

[Margm]

15 hours ago, V. R. said:

Marg, I can understand about Elvis being your heartthrob. Have you seen the new film about his life?

I did see it and unfortunately, the guy who played him, Austin Butler, he has beat out even Elvis.  I do hope he wins an Oscar.  Did not really like the movie itself, but Austin Butler should be a teen idol all on his own.  He sings too. I never let on to Billy that my favorites were "The Everly Brothers" Gene Pitney and Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons.  Of course my first was Buddy Holley.  I played them all the time.  Mickey Gilley had a club near Houston, Texas called "Gilley's."  He was the first cousin of Jerry Lee Lewis (didn't like him) and Jimmy Swaggart the televangelist. (Never liked him.)  His music was in a movie "Urban Cowboy" probably still on TV, with John Travolta. His club was "Gilley's" but he had a bunch of popular country songs,, and I loved his voice, and songs.  I guess I just was total country.   

[Gwenivere]

19 hours ago, KarenK said:

Don't like Xmas movies. Just too sappy sweet. Life is not like that.

It’s like Dee said.  Can’t have anything back and, to me, the memories are tarnished and too painful.  I’ve even abandoned the Griinch and Peanuts.  Music is definitely out for me too.  I can’t wait til the Xmas movies are over. 
 

10 hours ago, kayc said: I also love A Christmas Story!  (You'll Shoot Your Eyes Out!)

That movie I can’t stand.  I hear a lot of hissing and booing on that.  There’s something about the narration in it that grates on me.  Used to love the G.C. Scott and Patrick Steward ones and the few comedies. Scrooged and National Lampoon.

I expected a better day, but Dee ruined that.  She’s in a tough position about her van and car, but worse  with mental problems.  Til shortly after she got home physically, she was fine when she called in to say hi.  She’s been hounding me all night analyzing everything that’s said.  Can’t wait to go to bed and I normally dread that.

Hoping i get to play my calming games first.  Now she’s OK.  Get a break today as it’s a CCenter day.  Hounding my surgeon and contacting my shrink tog ay.  That’s  enough for a messed up day.  I’m sure more will come.  I’m' 'lucky' that way.   

[kayc]

Gwen, I'm so glad you get the meals from the church center, really helps a lot when you can't cook!

I'm existing on foods I already made/froze, will be next week too, don't know how I'll do after that, can't immerse my hand in water.  Any mess I make involve a cleanup I can't do right now.  Where are all the people on FB that "care?" 

 

[Margm]

I'm not there, I don't know the situation, but can you get soft cotton gloves and big plastic gloves when performing the lifting.  Will be painful, but possibly no infection, and only for the task at hand.  My granddaughter OCD and her hands are itchy and skin breaks in spite of gloves bought to cover them.  Too many chemicals and her hypothyroidism, and I'm afraid it is turning into psoriasis.  Doc told her to get certain ointments and lotions and she aggravates them just rubbing it in.  I got her the Aqua-Phor, which seems to be a more expensive Vaseline.  

We had a few deaths in the tornadoes, I think they were close but below us. They danced around in East Texas and we are about 50 miles or less from the Texas border, same for Arkansas and why they call it the Ark-La-Tex. They seem to be sitting over Louisiana now, going into Mississippi.  It is a big swath of storms.  They seem to be taking their time.  I know a woman and baby were victims this time.  We had one in December once that hit a few blocks below us and totally left a swath of ruin.  Many deaths, two young sisters in their bed by blown heavy concrete blocks.   This was in December, and I thought April was bad. I had heard a tornado could drive a pine needle through/into a telephone pole.  Hard to believe until you see the destruction.  

We have lived to see climate change in some very bad ways, but we won't be here to see what lengths it will go to that our children and grandchildren will see.  

[Gwenivere]

I’m having a tough time today after last night.  Dee drank again so another talk after getting up.  She remembers zip.  It was living it again to talk about it.  It makes me see how dependent I am on her to not wind up in a nursing home.  Also for love in my life.  She’s the only consistent one.  
 

Sent email to my surgeon about this spinal fracture.  I don’t know why I have repeatedly ask.  It’s a simple question.  I tell him what I’m doing and am I doing  anything I shouldn’t?  Didn’t *get much done beyond paying a bill and try to put together all the changes the  shrink made.  That baffled me &or a long time.  I have to call him and the RX's don’t make se sense.  
 

Have counseling today.  I don’t know if it will help. So many issues and pain.  Are eat lunch?   Call  about a shower?  I just want to curl up and fade away.  Have to make big decisions on what side to sleep on til I switch in a few hours. This is what life has come down to?  
 

I can’t even think of anything to say.  Just feel gross, losing nails, teeth not professionally  cleaned in  almost 2 years, addicted more to nicotine lozenges, pain and anxiety meds.  No temp but clammy ant hot.  Doc talking about dropping estrogen so menopause kick in.  Off to bed.  😓

[kayc]

1 hour ago, Gwenivere said:

Doc talking about dropping estrogen so menopause kick in.

Oh yay, there's something to look forward to.  I never took estrogen, glad I didn't, went through menopause same year I divorced John, should have been able to annul it if anyone could, but that's another story.  It did take my mind off the menopause, don't recommend it though!    Hey if you can't laugh (in retrospect) what else can you do!  Go crazy?

Losing nails?  You mean the whole nail or they're breaking off?  Is there something that helps that, gelatin, IDK, I'd find something...

Gosh Gwen, the drinking binges and arguments go on and on, you'll grow tough skin yet with her, hard with her carrying on at you I know.  Sometimes I lament I'm alone but oh how I prefer it to what you're going through.

Marg, the tornadoes sound horrid, bad enough here with snow, fires/smoke.  Tornadoes get it over with in one fail swoop, whereas the fires/smoke lingered for months...but then there is the aftermath...I'm glad we don't face that here, bad enough worrying about your house burning down, pet getting caught in it, etc.  Ugh, hope we're spared this summer, it already got the trees a mile & plus away!