My Sanity Needed Vents

[kayc]

Predictions say we'll have snow leading up to Christmas Eve/Day and through it.  There goes seeing my grandkids again.    Hard being alone on such a day, done this before.  A neighbor invited me over for Christmas, might come to visit their happy family (Joe's parents) without Kodie of course, but cannot eat their food, vegetarian but carbs.  On Thanksgiving the only thing I could eat was my DIL's turkey, but they won't even have that!  May bring chia seed pudding to eat so they don't feel bad for me.  Honestly, I'm fine passing up food, long used to it and I don't feel deprived in the least, it's my choice and I'm doing it for my health/benefits.  It came to me yesterday not to wish any of life away, even the hard parts as it's all a gift.  Wish I could remember and focus on that all of the time.  Not sure you could have told me that during the snowpocalypse...I see people in KY suffering, having lost their homes, possessions, communities, jobs.  I have nothing to complain about right now, I have a roof over my head, heat, food.

Gwen, I don't see this as going exactly as before because you have been fighting a losing battle with the screws not working, this time will be different although the physical challenges afterwards may repeat, it will be for something this time.  I continue to hold you in prayer.  You needn't believe to accept that as a positive thought going your way...  We all care about you here.

[Gwenivere]

Thank you Kay, Marty and Brat.  💕
 

Another shaky morning.  Saw my mail is scattered on the ground for some reason.  Hope no one takes anything til someone gets here.  I know there’s a Netflix disc out there.  It’s like the PO driver just dropped it all on the ground.  
 

Got my shower but it was very hard.  Housekeeper came and got bed changed and laundered.  Also brought homemade pasta and sauce.  Dee brought burritos and another pasta dish from the CC.  The place made them wrong so they made 2 more so I have so much food!  Church meal coming Sunday.  Also got a surprise chocolate delivery!  🥰

Got the news about Melody.  Going to be more intense than thought and very expensive.  Tommy says maybe March as his wife is having a knee done, so he will be helping her for weeks and he will be out of town for a bit in February.  So add in boarding costs as his wife won’t be able to walk her on their terrain.  I’m just so tired of things taking so long.  I have to research her surgery for success rates.  She’s going to need hardware too!  Screws and a plate.  I’m so crushed by it all.  It’s going to cost thousands along with my paying again for my surgery and rehab copays.  Anything for my kid, but I can’t even see her.  Heard again how well she is doing in their home.  
 

Thinking about my surgery and rehab with this new covid surge, I wonder if I’ll have to wear a mask now.  This just gets more complicated every time I turn around.  I’ll have to give up my wine.  The time I truly relax.  Sleep on the slab mattress again. They aren’t even keeping Tommy’s wife overnight! Knee replacement a day procedure?  That is not the norm.  I just want to scream and smash something because of this relentless bug and the people that didn’t get the shots.  That we didn’t lock down immediately.  
 

 Oh great!  The rat I haven’t seen forever is back.  Geez.  I and the house get clean and that thing shows up.  Hate to think of it here when I’m gone and damage it could do.  Another why the heck me?  
 

Another weekend.  Have to research Mel’s surgery which is another medical chore. Maybe I should just let Tommy handle it as it feels like she’s their dog now.  😰

[kayc]

3 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Another why the heck me?  

I admit, I have felt that at times the last couple of years too...why others get to keep their hands while mine get destroyed at such a young age when I deal with aging/survival all alone and no one to help me.  This should be a team effort, me and George.  Why others get to keep their husbands and I lost mine so young.  But I know it does no good to ask why, so I sigh and try to move past it...

BP up the last two days, probably over Kodie.  Kodie and Jazzy have been into their compost pile, he got a hold of meat/veg rotting, threw up Monday night, Wed. night, Fri. night.  Tried to get him into the vet or animal hospital, no one has room.  Made him chicken/rice will dole out to him.  Will have to keep him home so he doesn't continue eating compost Jazzy drags into the bushes, if it was just in the pile I could watch but I can't keep up or see when he goes into the bushes with her.  He's going to be so sad...   I need to make sure he gets well.

I can't imagine all you're going through with Mel and not even getting to see her.   Plus all you are facing.  And the damned rat, just seems like the last straw.  Is there a pest place can trap them?  I understand how they get into my 44 year old mobile home with no foundation!  And mice chewed holes through my walls years ago, between the kitchen and utility room so I imagine they can through my floor as well except the marble one they can't, but around it where it's wood/linoleum/carpet.

I tried nailing my molding up to the ceiling where it fell but now I see it came down again.  I need someone taller and more adept to affix it again.  Sigh.  Such is a old woman growing even older...alone.  At least I can still get my firewood in, that's a lot.  Can I do it when I'm 80?  I hope so.  Getting there quickly it seems.

Kodie and I took my sister some homemade soup, which I managed to spill all over the car, only lost about 1/2 cup but what territory it covered!  All over everything!  I had it tightly wedged in so it couldn't spill, but when I tried to pick it up, that's when it happened.  Also took her Bert's "Bait House" birdhouse that my neighbor repaired, he did an amazing job!  This is the cutest thing!  And her Christmas presents.  The only ones I bought.  Everyone else got cards with $.  I just can't do it all anymore.  I even had to BUY handmade cards this year, I've always made them before.  Last year I used my leftover stock.  Another sign of these ruined hands...

When is your surgery, Gwen?  I know it's soon...

So glad you got all those meals!  I've learned to count those small blessings, they keep me going another day.

[Widow2015]

9 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Another shaky morning.  Saw my mail is scattered on the ground for some reason.  Hope no one takes anything til someone gets here.  I know there’s a Netflix disc out there.  It’s like the PO driver just dropped it all on the ground.  
 

Gwen:  I am sorry to read about your struggles.  I attempted to respond a couple of times lately and either got interrupted then forgot, or lost my response. 

My computer skills are lessening by the moment.  I've spent the last two days attempting to sign onto a social security site.  I thought after I moved I would set up an online system of receiving social security mail.  I was able to accomplish it but for some reason I can't sign onto the site to read or print what they will be sending me.  I am going to have to call, which I have  been postponing since I hate being on hold for so long listening to loud obnoxious music.  They win though, I will have to be able to receive required paperwork for tax purposes, etc.  I really don't like this world I have to live in anymore.

I hope your mail on the ground was not because of unruly kids having fun or thieves looking for money.  There is so much of both going on all around.  

I sympathize with you and the sore toe issue.  I used to be able to bend over and take care of my feet; toe nails and an aggravating corn on the sole of my foot.  Now I struggle as I carefully clip toe nails using the "braille" method. LOL  The little town close by has a Footcare Nurse at the senior center that will take  care of those issues.  Only problem is getting myself down there.  My vision issues make me feel hesitant to make the appointment then drive myself down there.  Oh, I so hope if I do have the cataract surgery I will be able to feel comfortable driving again.  Right now am biding my time until January appointment.

9 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Got the news about Melody.  Going to be more intense than thought and very expensive.  

Oh no, so sorry about Melody's condition.  I totally understand your concern for her.  So wish you could be with her.   Yes, "Anything for my kid" is so true.  I never did total up what I had to pay to keep my Maddie with me.  Her being part of my life at the time was more important than anything else.  I never regretted the cost.  I do regret she is no longer with me.  Keeping her in my good thoughts.

Before I forget, has anyone heard anything from Gin lately?  I haven't seen her pop up lately ?  Hope all is well with her.

Dee

[Margm]

Facing some very trying times coming up.  At least I read the posts before writing them all down.  I will just try to put some wings on my mustard seed faith prayers.  I see Gin came on, but I was worried.  

Wish I could take the medicine doc gave me.  It did help the shaking.  I can't take it though.  I have to face that.  Also, I have my seven crosses in front of my necessity that I have used to say "Please God, I won't eat anything chocolate or real onions again."  Knew I could not have coconuts.  I thought it meant the white shredded stuff.  No, it meant the juice too, so, I won't have anything in the way of coconut.  Yes, my colon is my "boss organ."  Maybe God took Billy first so he could protect him from my bitching.  

I will try to put some wings on the prayers for all y'all.  I'm so sorry Gwen, Kay, Dee, and those that are just fighting to live through this pandemic.  Yes, I have trouble fighting off the paranoia.  Will get my booster this week, as will Kelli and Bri.  We have company coming that only my sister can avoid.  Don't know how long, but they are vaccine non-believers.  So, wearing my mask in the stores does not mean I have not had the vaccine, it just means I will protect myself from those that did not have theirs.  

[Widow2015]

2 hours ago, Marg M said:

Don't know how long, but they are vaccine non-believers.  So, wearing my mask in the stores does not mean I have not had the vaccine, it just means I will protect myself from those that did not have theirs.  

Marg:  It is difficult when family members disagree about vaccine requirements.  I have that in my family, too.  Like you, I wear my mask whenever I am out, which isn't very often and will get my booster in a couple of months.  My holiday plans won't have me around others except my son and his family;  all are vaxed except for my 10 year old granddaughter.  Or, I don't think she has been vaccinated yet.  My spending more time with my grand children persuaded me it was time to get vaccinated now that I have my moving behind me.  

Sorry your medication prescribed is not doable for you.  Tummy issues aren't fun no matter why we need medication or how much we love chocolate.  Your seven crosses must be working for you to give you strength to abstain from chocolate.  My weakness is a glass of milk and more than a few Oreo cookies. 

Yes, was good to see Gin chime in.  

Dee

 

[Gwenivere]

I just sent a message.  She was here Thursday.  Said she was still around.  Holidays hitting us all hard.  See we have our Gin back.  
 

Dee was going to come by today, but her plan for getting out cancelled.  She said she’d come if I wanted, and as much as I’d like to see her, I didn’t want her doing it just for me for the distance.  The couple things that I could use help with I can do.  The only thing I accused her of is the rat only shows up when she asks which she did yesterday.  🙂

Was a downer day except I got to talk to a friend I hadn’t in a long time.  My usual hating Saturday's.  I did too much.  It’s depressing that hanging up a pair of sweat pants was hard and made me feel unsafe.  
 

Heard on the news that a huge surge in covid is expected after the holidays.  Not surprising.  Marg, sounds risky being around unvaccinated people. And your tummy trouble too.  Live with it myself and it’s very frustrating, tho  not as bed as you being shredded that they did.  Dee, good choice in Oreos!  Double stuff?

Can't break the funk tonight.  Missing Steve and Melody so much.  As always going to bed I dread.  So hard waking up so sad.  Can’t stop the fear of what’s coming ahead.  Hope you all get good sleep.  💕  

 

 

[kayc]

19 hours ago, Widow2015 said:

I've spent the last two days attempting to sign onto a social security site.

I did the books for our church for many years...the last two years it wouldn't let me onto their site to do the payroll reporting requirements.  The first time I got someone helpful.  The last year it wouldn't let me in and no one would help.  They sent me a new password (snail mail) and I tried it, nope, didn't work.  I handed over the reins to someone else.  Can't do that when it's us as individuals though!  The gov't leaves much to be desired with it's customer service, not only soc sec but also IRS.  Ugh!

19 hours ago, Widow2015 said:

I really don't like this world I have to live in anymore.

I get it!  So much has changed, top of the list: "customer service," it seems everywhere to be lacking.  WE had to provide it our whole lives!  Now when we need it, it doesn't exist.

4 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Dee, good choice in Oreos!  Double stuff?

That was my favorite...I no longer can eat stuff like that but I'm okay with it, the trade offs are more than worth it.  I guess my philosophy was if something is a good thing, more is better!    My philosophy has had to change.    Although my sister still ascribes to it!  I get it.

I'm glad to hear Gin is still checking in, haven't seen a post from her in a while though.  Wondering about her son...I hope she's okay.  Holidays are hard.  So depressing that snow is coming before/during/after Christmas.  Will ruin holiday travel for a lot of us.

Still battling Kodie's system issues...

[iPraiseHim]

1 hour ago, kayc said:

The gov't leaves much to be desired with it's customer service, not only soc sec but also IRS.  Ugh!

 

I'm dealing with this. Money was taken out of my SS retirement with no notice or warning. Called SS and was told it was an IRS action. Repeated calls to IRS and no one answers. Certified letters to IRS with no response. They have all the power and make the rules. However, I am persistent and will continue to pursue this issue. I'm preparing to escalate my efforts to get some resolution.  Never quit or give up. We still have ombudsmen, state/federal representatives, and other resources. Never give up, never give in. It is frustrating yet we can turn that frustration to determination to resolve these issues. - Shalom (Peace)

[Margm]

Warning:  Long word salad.  My aunt had all of her nieces and nephews.  She had no children of her own.  We were her children. We were so close.  My folks lived with or next door to each other.  You have to picture this, this was a sparsely settled neighborhood in a small town.  Country dirt roads.  I could say my  mom and dad lived "up the road" and we did, by automobile.  The back of our house had a long ago corn field with rows that a little girl could hide in when her mom called looking for her.  I was headed to my mammaw's though and knew i would get a whipping.  I did it anyhow..  It was worth it.  My mammaw was a real live Angel and so was my aunt, that lived next door.  I was the only grandchild, niece for nine years.   My aunt had "Skipper" that would sing when the organ was played, she had "Tip" for so many years.  She loved her fur babies.  There came a time after her breast cancer in the 1980's, that she did not have a fur baby.  She was afraid she was going to die and leave a loving pet without her.  She lived.  By now there was a great-niece that raised Dachshund's.  She brought the male to live with my aunt, over my aunt's objections.  But, she loved this fur baby and he would sometimes escape the huge, very large area chain linked fence (he could dig) and went to visit another pure bred dog that was bigger than him, and I guess where there is a will there is a way.  The other "pure bred" dog had puppies that clearly were "Doc's" puppies.  They tried to sue my aunt.  Got the police out and everything.  In my family, we had two Sheriff's of the Parish and a state fire marshal. My dad was a deacon and my two aunts were "greeters" in a bigger church.  Reputations beyond reproach.  I never heard bad words till after I got married.  My very sweet, beyond reproach reputation aunt thought it was hilarious.  I think these "neighbors" moved away.  My aunt loved her fur babies.  We all loved this aunt.  I lived in another state and Billy would call her ever so often, and so would I.  Billy told her when I "passed on" she and him would go RVing together.  She loved Billy.  She passed away February 1, 2014.  I could not believe she was 90.  She didn't look 90, she didn't act 90, she was still getting around better than much younger people.  It was fast, like Billy.  She was only sick a few days.  

I love my family.  The ones I have now, the ones I've lost.  I really sometimes think God gave us women urgent bladders so we don't have time to think "I'm still alive," when we first wake up. 

I was thinking of all the fur babies.  Nawlins, my poodle grand-dog is 11.  Kelli let her out to do her business and then calls to her.  She won't listen.  She can't hear her.  Even dogs get old.  

[Widow2015]

6 hours ago, kayc said:

Still battling Kodie's system issues...

Oh my goodness, so sorry Kodie isn't back to normal.  How stressful for you, kayc.  Our fur babies seem to be drawn to the smelliest things to consume.  Maddie used to vacuum up my yard of bunny droppings.  No amount of discussion with her would dissuade her.  I guess I'm no different with my weakness for Oreos and milk.  Dee

[Gwenivere]

On 12/18/2021 at 10:35 AM, Widow2015 said:

I really don't like this world I have to live in anymore.

I know you were talking about the IRS, but I’m general that’s how I feel about everything.  I wake up everyday and am now thinking I am not fixable.  All it takes is standing up and it feels it’s irreparable.  The tediousness of day after day.  Had a Zoom call with an acquaintance and she had a 'good' feeling the repeated surgery would work.  Easy to say.  No idea of the implications and coming home to the same obstacles.

I made my treks down the hall.  Have a toe that really hurts.  Have looked at it as has the nurse several times and can’t figure out the problem.  Of course it’s in a place I can’t easily reach.  

It was really sunny for here this afternoon.  House wasn’t so bleak.  Still had to close the blinds a bit after 4.  Don’t know when the yard people are coming.  I hate seeing the deck and porch covered in storm and leaf debris in the morning.   

Dee brought the church bag over.  No hot meal.  Sandwiches, a chunk of meatloaf and chicken pieces.  Have enough stuff to cover the week.  Just need veggies.  She did some small tasks and the ones I did had me so shaky again.  Trying to put crackers in a container was so very hard.  Also washing a plastic container for recycling.  Gonna have to get that B12 shot in.  Hope it helps.  We had a long talk about end of meaningful life.  Stuff you don’t dare talk about with people who don’t understand winding up in a facility.  She called back later because a person she knew that was homeless had OD'd.  This is such a weird year with bad news in my circle.  

Got 2 Xmas cards.  At least some people have the spirit.  I used to go to a Denny's, sign, address and address cards and have some treat.  Mail them on my way home.  A few years I made them myself.  Had to do that part at home.  

Woke up from my nap thinking it was morning and thought I had left the lights on overnight.  Just so out of it.  Now to do the real thing soon and cross my fingers I’m not even weaker today.   
 

Hope those that have some spirit enjoy it. Those without maybe find a twinkle here or there.  ❄️
 

 

 

 

 

[KarenK]

A few days ago, my neighbor dropped by and said they were going to have my front yard cleaned up by the landscapers when they had theirs done, that it was a Xmas present. I really appreciated it as I can't do it anymore, my grandson doesn't offer, and my son is too busy. Either it was a generous gesture or they were sick of the mess. I was really embarrassed though. The back yard is a worse disaster. I keep hoping for a huge wave of energy to get it taken care of. So far it hasn't happened. Ten years ago, I could do all this stuff. Now it's all I can do to vacuum. So much for a productive life, NOT.

I need to wrap my few presents and put them under the tree which looks a little sedate as my lighted angel tree topper quit working. Changing bulbs didn't help. Wish I could see to drive. Would like to go to the after Xmas sales at the nicer stores for a new one.

That's about the extent of my excitement for now. Boring.....boring....boring.

[kayc]

17 hours ago, Widow2015 said:

Oh my goodness, so sorry Kodie isn't back to normal.

I managed to make two huge messes in my kitchen, making his ckn/rice/pumpkin/yogurt mixture this morning, all before 6 am!  Kodie is convinced I am starving him.  Last night he was crying for food.  I'll be glad when this is over.

23 hours ago, iPraiseHim said:

Money was taken out of my SS retirement with no notice or warning. Called SS and was told it was an IRS action. Repeated calls to IRS and no one answers. Certified letters to IRS with no response. They have all the power and make the rules.

I know you won't give up!!  What choice do we have?!  I hope this is resolved soon, just need one agent that hears you and gives a hoot...I hope you get somewhere with your rep.  We're losing Peter DeFazio soon, he helped the people (Oregon) for as long as I can remember, businesses, individuals, anyone!  I'll miss him.  He fought for the little guy.  I doubt we'll get anyone as caring again.
Getting two feet of snow between Thursday and Christmas, don't know how I'll handle it with these hands...I hope they plow.  You never know, esp. since school's not in session at that time.

[kayc]

18 hours ago, Marg M said:

She can't hear her.  Even dogs get old. 

Yes, Joe (the chow I used to walk) was deaf and going blind.  I think it was from continual ear infections and they didn't ever take him to the vet.  It breaks my heart.

Pouring rain.  Only slept four hours tops last night, no idea why.

[kayc]

5 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Hope those that have some spirit enjoy it. Those without maybe find a twinkle here or there.  ❄️

Aww, Gwen, even in the midst of all you're going through, you think of everyone else.  I wish someone would leave some fairy dust at your house!  (remember feralfae)

[Widow2015]

15 hours ago, KarenK said:

. Ten years ago, I could do all this stuff. Now it's all I can do to vacuum. So much for a productive life, NOT.

Karen:  It is really amazing in a sad way how all of a sudden the body doesn't want to do what one's mind wants to do.  As I look back I remember how I could spend the full day working in my yard stopping only to take a bathroom break and then gradually a little less and even more less  until walking to the front of my house at the end of the driveway to pick up the mail was a chore.  And now dealing with the simple thing as sitting in a doctor's waiting room for an appointment is more than I can manage.  

Your neighbor's offer to spruce up your yard is a thoughtful gift.  For whatever reason they are offering, it is still very nice of them.  You must be a special neighbor.

15 hours ago, KarenK said:

Wish I could see to drive. Would like to go to the after Xmas sales at the nicer stores for a new one.

I hear you Karen.  Weren't you scheduled for an cataract assessment  any day?  These foggy, grey Northwest days keep me from doing my grocery shopping.  My minimum Christmas shopping has been done on line. 

Today was my eye injection appointment; was driven by a transport  service since my eyes are dilated or just blurry depending on procedure for the day.  The transport driver was explaining his cataract surgery he had done some years ago.  I didn't realize the different choices one has in choosing  cataract surgery.   All I know who have ever gone through the surgery says it's a simple procedure and praises the results.

 While sitting in the waiting room today, I had to fight back the tears watching  couples sitting together, smiling and laughing with each other.  These reminders of being alone is a trigger making the heart ache.  The upside of wearing masks helps not being able to see people's expressions. Dee 😷

[KarenK]

Dee, I changed my eye appt. to Jan 12 so I could go in the afternoon instead of morning. I'm not usually awake before noon as I can't go to sleep before 5 AM. At least I'll have my eyes open then.

Not really close to my neighbors. They are a nice young Mexican family with small children which are always kicking soccer balls or footballs into my back yard that require retrieval. I don't mind, but the dogs have a barking fit when anyone comes near. They have a huge extended family and friends and lots of parties so there's a lot going on over there. A lot of them are landscapers also so that helps. She's always offering to help me with anything, but I figure with three little boys and a teenage daughter that her hands are full enough.

Wearing a mask is saving my vanity when I have to venture out. I have 3 teeth broken off at the gum which I need to have pulled. I don't think I've left the house in 3 months. I plan to get a haircut this week😁

When will you get checked for cataract surgery?

[Widow2015]

1 hour ago, KarenK said:

When will you get checked for cataract surgery?

Karen:    My appointment is January 11.  Will be curious how our results  turn out afterwards.  Good thoughts for both of us.  Also hope if surgery is required I don't have to wait 6 months for the surgery.  So sorry about your dental issues.  Just what you need more medical expenses.  Hope there is no pain from teeth in the meantime.

Lucky you, getting a haircut.  I can't remember the  last time I had a haircut in a beauty shop.  I use hairclips daily to keep hair out of my face and occasionally cut the length the best I can.  I've given up on my beauty regime.  Again thankful for masks.

Dee

 

[Gwenivere]

I do remember Faralfae.  Just deleted an almost 2 year old conversation with her.  She was getting some surgery and disappeared.  I tried searching when last she was here and can’t find any info.  (Marty gave me a tip to try.).  She was a sweetheart.

Counseling tomorrow with my frigid on minutes therapist.  Got an approval for surgery, but it says the 3rd, not the 5th as I have written down.  Left a message for the scheduler I have things in place for that date.  Dee said she heard him say the 5th as she was here when it was changed.  I don’t want to spend the New Year weekend packing.  It’s a mess as the painful days are so hard too.  It also scares me as it definitely says adding in another vertebrae to the existing fix.  Dee and I were just shaking our heads about the guy that overdosed, my news and a friend of hers with cancer hadn’t answered the phone for over a day.  Finally got her.  If she doesn’t take her chemo meds she gets confused.  On a small note, my DTV bill is going up and isn’t doing any better programming.   
 

5 hours ago, Widow2015 said:

I had to fight back the tears watching  couples sitting together, smiling and laughing with each other. 

Oh Dee, that is so hard.  That you have to take a transport rubs it in more.  Our husbands would do that.  Sounds like you are looking at cataract surgery?  It really is depressing when those little things like getting the mail become so tough.  That Karen can vacuum is monumental to me!  I also think it’s cool the neighbors are giving her a clean up.  
 

Ive got a broken off tooth too, Karen.  Nothing I can do about it right now.  I don’t even know why it happened.  Something I’d only have bad dreams about.  Not reality.
 

I'm afraid of what today brings.  An answer I may not like about surgery.  No real human contact.  Heard on the news we may actually have snow at Xmas.  That could jeopardize having company.  Not a day I want to be alone without Melody.  Dee plans to be here.  Only a handful have we had that on the day.  Which was OK when I had my family.  The eve will be horrid too.  Whoever minded being stranded with their true love?  And their furry babies?  😍
 

 

 

 

 

[KarenK]

I got my few gifts wrapped. Still doesn't feel like Christmas. Nothing big happening here that day. My son works on the eve and the day. Their business is always open. At least he works nights so will have Christmas morning. We don't have a special meal. Mostly just a normal day around here.

I sure hope they haven't messed up your surgery preparations you have in place. You'd think they would make things as convenient as possible for you.

Fortunately(knock on wood), my broken teeth are not hurting right now. Am not looking forward to having them pulled.

[MartyT]

6 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I do remember Faralfae.  Just deleted an almost 2 year old conversation with her.  She was getting some surgery and disappeared.  I tried searching when last she was here and can’t find any info.  (Marty gave me a tip to try.)

Her Display Name is feralfae, Gwen. I used the search feature just now, and it indicates that her most recent post was on September 16: https://www.griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com/profile/16288-feralfae/content/

[kayc]

10 hours ago, KarenK said:

Dee, I changed my eye appt. to Jan 12 so I could go in the afternoon instead of morning. I'm not usually awake before noon as I can't go to sleep before 5 AM. At least I'll have my eyes open then.

I'd think you'd rather go in while you're asleep and your eyes aren't open!  Seriously, I've heard it's not a difficult procedure for most.  My sister didn't see any better in her left eye afterwards until she got her new glasses!  She'd do better had she let them make bifocals or progressives.  She chose far away vision so it still doesn't help her reading/t.v.  Sigh, can't force her!  She can't read the instructions on her new vacuum, I told her to have her caregiver read them to her!  She brings Peggy her mail at $20 each time even though she lives within walking distance, won't take out her garbage, yesterday she didn't get any mail but it still cost her $20!  That's insane and someone bilking her.

10 hours ago, KarenK said:

I have 3 teeth broken off at the gum which I need to have pulled.

Oh Karen, my mouth hurts just thinking about it!  Can you set up a payment plan with them?  Is there a low-cost dental clinic around?  Dental work is insanely expensive now!  Well always has been.  I seriously could have bought a house witth what I've forked out over the years.

7 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Ive got a broken off tooth too, Karen.

Can put dental wax in it to block the air so it doesn't hurt.  Not sure if it'd work when it's severed at the gumline.  My teeth always died so fast!  I've lost half of them, and that after countless root canals, crowns, regular visits, etc.  Going off sugar/carbs has greatly improved my dental health.

I stay in touch with Ilo (feralfae), she keeps busy, nothing seems to slow her down!

[KarenK]

Kay, I'm already making payments to my dentist. Most of the balance is for the partial dentures which probably don't fit anymore after losing more teeth. Only wore them leaving the house before masks came into play. Am trying not to add more to the balance as long as there's no pain. Also waiting to see what cataract surgery will cost if insurance doesn't cover it all. Teeth I can live without, but not eyes.

Sounds like Peggy really needs to rethink her agreement with this person who is supposed to help her. Can she find a new caregiver?

[Gwenivere]

I’m so sorry, Kay.  It just sounds there’s no getting thru to Peggy.  You’d have to take  on so much stuff and I know you’re overloaded.  Glad you keep in touch with Ilo.  We drifted apart, but I think of her energy.

Very long, dull day.  Little things I cant do.  I have to keep reminding myself there is a good reason beyond age.  I’m in inflicted pain, that’s why I can’t pick up a pill that fell in an awkward place or rotate crackers in the lower pantry by date.  It’s an esteem thing.  
 

I’m already dreading the weekend.  My decoration is a Xmas card with a tree on it on the mantle.  🎄. All I plan on.  Hoping no significant snow as that could jeopardize Dee coming over.  
 

Hard to watch the news.  Covid top story again.  And I’m staring at it!  Have to catch myself.  Watching the news isn’t what it used to be years ago now.  
 

I was so shaky today, I called my Lifeline company to make sure they had on record where the key is hidden if something happens.  Then I went thru all my game apps to get the daily rewards.  A routine I do every night.  Not really enjoying any of them.  
 

No salad tonight.  I’m sure the rest of the week will bring me something tho!  It never fails.  Hope all are..........as OK as possible. 💕