My Sanity Needed Vents

[KarenK]

Dizziness is something I can definitely identify with. I'm used to bending over to walk from my family room chair to the kitchen. Less far to fall that way.  lol  Usually it happens when my BP has dropped too low.

Don't know if we'll get a big tree this year. They are very expensive now and it's such an ordeal to drag out all the decorations. Sure looks pretty for a couple of weeks though.

[Widow2015]

11 minutes ago, KarenK said:

Usually it happens when my BP has dropped too low.

Karen: May I ask what makes your BP drop?  Dee

[KarenK]

I wish I knew why it drops. When the diastolic hits about 50, the dizziness is a given. I take 3 BP meds which probably contributes. It also seems to relate to how much sleep I've had the night before. It only lasts for a few minutes and then I'm okay, but I won't be running any marathons.

[Gwenivere]

Keep losing my posts.  Long day with getting trap set up for the rat and food shopping.  Dee spent lots of time here.  My last chance for a shower is tomorrow and I don’t know how that will go with the pain and unsteadiness.  Also being stressed to the max.  The last thing I needed was that today.  Tried getting my doc to call in referrals to new home health care.  Nurse at surgeons said it’s not normal to still be using a walker.  I’m hoping it’s that she doesn’t know the extent of my surgery and home situation for activities.  Have the dreaded CT next week.  Someone asked if I thought I made the right choice doing this.  All I know at the time both sides of a coin toss were the same.  Take the chance or wait til I was totally disabled.  So now the fear this was a loss too.  
 

Dee, I’m sorry you have the dizziness.  It’s not minor.  I know how annoying more age crap is.  You also have the eye issues.  Karen, you have a lot to deal with too. Also Kay and Marg.  Just saw some news story say that horrid phrase 'golden years'.  Nuh uh.  Not even close. Mine were the happy days and full life.  I have to blurt it out my woes as the loneliness is too much.  I know it’s repetitive, but this such a big part of my support.  This family.
 

I wish I could have Mel's fuzzy head here.  Tough situations really show you what you truly treasure.

I keep hoping when I get up this isn’t real.  Whether it waking or standing up.   I hate the shape I’m in, can’t clean up when I want, rats, our wedding clock broken, no reason to decorate if I could.  It emphasizes how our body’s betray us now.  My mind has such desires to do things I once did.  It’s a challenge to not let our bodies crush our spirit.  I haven’t been doing well at that.  I chalk mine up to being home bound.  
 

Time to try hoping I can get thru tomorrow.  I sure miss when I felt I was going uphill.  Best to all 💕

 

 

[Ruby]

47 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

loneliness is too much

♥️♥️♥️

[kayc]

13 hours ago, Widow2015 said:

I hate asking for help for anything.   My son has this week off from work and is working outside redoing the driveway to my little house.  He has cut into the hill and laying concrete blocks.  This is his idea of a vacation, working on his tractor moving dirt around.

Haha!  Your son sounds like mine!    He never relaxes.  We have a standing joke between us (I think he got it from me, maybe a double whammy from his dad)...my ex-fiance was over at my house years ago, watching me (day off work, Saturday) do laundry, cook, clean, etc., going back and forth across the house, while he was watching t.v.  Finally he said, "Do you just THINK up things to do??"  My son and I have laughed about that ever since.  Actually, if one just opens their eyes, there IS stuff to do!  Now it's a question of IF we can do them or finding another way to do it...but my son is young enough he hasn't hit that stage yet.

13 hours ago, Widow2015 said:

A few months ago, I had my first experience with dizziness.  I looked on line and tried the Epley Maneuver directions 

Wow, I hadn't heard of it!  Now if you could find the answer to my mysterious tongue/throat condition!!!  I went to the dentist and she referred to it as inflamed glands...that doesn't account for the sore throat and mouth sores.  My dental checkup was perfect except I need a crown resealed, they scheduled it for Dec. 16, it'll be a miracle if I don't have snow then.  Will see what happens when the time comes.  I may see if I can get on their cancelation list.  Supposed to have snow tonight/tomorrow morning.

11 hours ago, KarenK said:

They are very expensive now and it's such an ordeal to drag out all the decorations. Sure looks pretty for a couple of weeks though.

Get the guys to do the lifting.  The hardest part for me was in setting it up, when it fell I didn't have the strength to get it back up, what a mess, finally did it.

9 hours ago, KarenK said:

When the diastolic hits about 50, the dizziness is a given.

Can the doctor cut back on one of the Rxs?  Sounds scary having it drop like that!  I wouldn't climb on any step stools!

6 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Tough situations really show you what you truly treasure.

I wish you could have her there with you too, perhaps it's coming yet.  I hope so.

 

6 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Nurse at surgeons said it’s not normal to still be using a walker.  I’m hoping it’s that she doesn’t know the extent of my surgery and home situation for activities.

Don't put a lot of stock by what she says, what does the DOCTOR say?  Everyone's situation is unique so I don't see how she can state what "normal" is.  Tell her you'd love to switch places and let HER do the walker, you want your life back.  Sometimes I don't see the point in people's remarks.

 

 

[Widow2015]

12 hours ago, KarenK said:

I wish I knew why it drops. When the diastolic hits about 50, the dizziness is a given.

Oh, my goodness Karen, that has to be scary for you.  It sounds like you know how to deal with this situation as you wait for the dizziness to pass by hanging on to furniture and no marathons.  😁  The side effects of medication can sometimes add to our not feeling "normal", and I use that word "normal" loosely.  Dee

[Widow2015]

9 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I keep hoping when I get up this isn’t real.  Whether it waking or standing up.   I hate the shape I’m in, can’t clean up when I want, rats, our wedding clock broken, no reason to decorate if I could.  It emphasizes how our body’s betray us now.  My mind has such desires to do things I once did.  It’s a challenge to not let our bodies crush our spirit.  I haven’t been doing well at that.  I chalk mine up to being home bound.  

Gwen:  Your paragraph says it so well and how our bodies are in control.  You are definitely faced with so many obstacles that keep you from healing.  You're wanting to maintain some semblance of a life, but so many hurdles continue to pop up for you. 

Each night before I drop off to sleep, I let my mind plan what I hope to do the next day.  The next day comes and I begin my usual unenergetic pace and have lost the momentum.  My brain which is part of this old body has already defeated my good intentions as I ask myself, "Why" should I do what my brain told me the night before.

3 hours ago, kayc said:

Now if you could find the answer to my mysterious tongue/throat condition!!!  I went to the dentist and she referred to it as inflamed glands...that doesn't account for the sore throat and mouth sores. 

kayc:  I wish I could find the answer for you.  This condition has aggravated you for too long a time in spite of your research and doctor visits.  So sorry you don't have an answer yet. 

Dee

[Margm]

My saying "I'm hanging by a thread" is said when I feel well/safe enough to say it.  Don't know when I've been back.  I'm happy more personal touches are sometimes made.  Dee, I think about your big move, and I did it like I do most things, jump in the deep end and I don't know how to swim.  Gwen, you are laboring on, as I am sure the rest of you are too.  Definitely not golden years, rusting iron years is more appropriate.  Two close friends just had heart surgery, one is still in rehab for a long time now.  Two are on hospice.  How did I get so old?  (Now, that is a real question.)  I should not be here.

Was scared of the new medicine (new to me), but what harm can a blood pressure med do to your "innards."  You know I have the seven crosses in front of my "necessity" and I do say "Dear Lord, I promise not to eat chocolate, onions, or nothing on my list again, and I get the "poison" gone and am as okay as a crippled digestive system can be.  I watch those medications.  I have a doc that likes to give them.  He is family practice, so I should expect as much.  I got on the beta blocker propranolol knowing it would make my depression worse..  Put it off years.  I knew it was supposed to help the shaking and had to decide which I could handle the best.  I was doing fine, the shaking had lessened, even the anxiety shaking.  Wow, what a wonder drug.  I sometimes get nausea at night if I eat too late, so the first couple of days of this I ignored.  Then stomach cramps at 4:00 a.m. every morning and sitting on my necessity till 10:00 a.m. made me suspicious of something.  So I read up on my propranolol and unfortunately, it was the culprit.  It had helped the shaking and anxiety shaking so much, but not enough to put up with this side effect.  This doc does not know my history.  What do they keep in computer charts now?  Used to they had a written/typed history.........I know, I typed it.  I knew he did not know me when he left out of the office last time telling me I had to have more fiber.  Fiber is my colon's poison.  The man had a thousand patients, I only have one, me.  Sometimes you know more about your own body than the memory of a hundred patients for one doctor.  Sometimes the doc does not know best.  He knows a compilation and theory for many patients, but only you know your own body.  

Thanksgiving is day after tomorrow and I let them all know it was not going to be in this apartment, so we will be at Kelli and Scott's.  I try to remember the difference when my grandfather passed away in my very early teens (13), and know we kept on tradition for years and years.  Then families had their own dinners and after my grandmother passed we had big ones at my folks.  Not half as big as the old ones.  Still remember Mama with  the scarf around her hair, for some strange reason, one leg of her pants was always rolled up to her knee, the other around her sneakers.  She always wore sneakers.  Kelli and Mama were "shoe collectors" and Kelli would wear them once and then give them to Mama.  When she passed, she had a shoe stand crisscrossed neatly with at least 10 pairs of sneakers.  

With that most important throne seat vacant, somehow holidays are not significant at all to me.  Too much of a bother and I must be kin to the original Grinch.  

[nashreed]

Thanksgiving doesn't mean anything to me. It's just another day, just the food is different. I know that I should be thankful for my mom still being here and in reasonably good health. Her hearing is poor and that's a constant irritant, but more than that, my family just aren't affectionate and don't really care to know me as the person I am, just who they want me to be (or to be seen and not heard). I printed out an article about Misophonia for my mom to read and I don't know that she even bothered before chucking it.

Without the love and joy that my wife gave me, I just don't see the point of living. I truly truly do not want to be here. Gwen, I admire you more than you could possibly realize. With all the obstacles that you have, that you still "keep on keeping on" is inspirational, and it helps immensely with my outlook. Sometimes I think "Well, if Gwen is making it, I can". I need all the motivation I can get. I'll be 52 next month, and still have possibly a long way to go before I can see Annette again. What I wouldn't give for a friend in person. It's great to have the Forum, but at the same time it's empty and not the same as real life. My reality is just not worth waking up for. 

 

[Margm]

On 11/20/2021 at 8:48 AM, kayc said:

You are too young, but I would love to be able to live in the late 50's again with one rotary telephone, no television and no computer and we felt safe to be outside in our neighborhood anytime of the day.

I actually think Dee said that, but yes, I would love to be back in the late 50's.  

[Margm]

14 minutes ago, nashreed said:

. I'll be 52 next month, and still have possibly a long way to go before I can see Annette again. What I wouldn't give for a friend in person. It's great to have the Forum, but at the same time it's empty and not the same as real life. My reality is just not worth waking up for. 

 

I think I got this quote right.  My son will be 60 in 2022.  He works nights, sleeps days, and then all over again.  He used to be the Hellraiser, but that was back when he was on dope and alcohol, many years ago.  He was DJ in a strip bar and there was a new woman every night.  Then a relationship ended (9 years, he said she would never cheat on him, that is why he cared as much as he did.)  I knew the girl and sometimes we women can be cats.  This girl flew under the IQ line anyhow.  Then his dad passed and he has not been the same in over six years.  I still think he has a lot of life left in him.  I also think you do..  Living with loss is tough, we all know that fact, but before you get sick, unable to go out, there are places you can go to meet people, just for friendship.  Other men have lost their wives.  My nearly 80-year-old friend nearly died this week, now she is up again.  She visits with her grief group.  My sister goes to her AA meetings once a week and teaches a couple of days.  She has COPD so bad, is on oxygen, and is 70.  I hope she can keep on.  Myself, I am limited to where I can go.  So many of us are limited. If I had my health, I would visit the senior citizen's center here.  I would love to play Bingo again.  My shaking prevents it and my length of stay from my necessity prevents it.  I actually like my own company now.  I dozed off in the recliner with a Netflix movie that was stupid on.  I woke up with Billy walking through the dining room saying "what are you watching!!!" and I could hear him for one instant.  I know it was not him, but I talked to the empty room anyhow.  If you are able, try to find a group that meet for grief help, church, other things.  Your too young even for Medicare.  Your not too young for grief though.  I wish you health and finding some measure of contentment.  I know it is hard to do this, impossible in some of our existences.  

[Gwenivere]

I want the 80's and 90’s back.  Pre escalated terrorism, war and now this pandemic.  

[Widow2015]

3 hours ago, Marg M said:

I actually think Dee said that, but yes, I would love to be back in the late 50's. 

Yes, Marge it was me saying this.  Probably not too many others here who remember having one black rotary phone sitting on an end table in the house. LOL.  This past weekend I had the opportunity to speak with one of my high school friends and we shared how much fun we had way back when in the 50's.  But, was sad too, because we are the only two left from our little clique.  Fun to share stories again.   Dee

[Widow2015]

3 hours ago, nashreed said:

Without the love and joy that my wife gave me, I just don't see the point of living. I truly truly do not want to be here. Gwen, I admire you more than you could possibly realize. With all the obstacles that you have, that you still "keep on keeping on" is inspirational, and it helps immensely with my outlook. Sometimes I think "Well, if Gwen is making it, I can".

Nashreed:  It is understandable you are not wanting to be here.  But we unfortunately are here without our partner as we face each day with different obstacles.  I have to agree that Gwen is to be admired as she continues keeping on.  You may not be able to understand your mom or your brother's thinking process ever.  I do hope you will find an outlet with an outside group as Marg suggested.  All we can do is try.  Dee

[Gwenivere]

Was tense waiting on this shower.  I’m in so much worse shape than last week.  That fall and having to do things I can’t avoid has taken a toll.   I begged a higher power to get me thru this.  Don’t know how much longer I can live with this being so much worse.  Got thru the shower, but it was scary.  
 

Mel’s sitters want to take her in for a bath and grooming.  She’s never had that and just can barely tolerate nails and brushing.  She needs her rabies but that’s just an exam.  I told them no.  I never did that with her.  Vet had said it wasn’t a good thing for their coats as it starts a cycle of stripping their natural protection.  Plus being injured, I don’t want more complications.  She'd be terrified.  Maybe they thought I did that.  
 

My doc screwed up referrals to new home health.  Had to call them to redo that.  
 

After all the stress and work to get the rat trap set up, I haven’t seen it.  We left the door propped open so maybe it ran out.  I hope so.  Now that I say this it will probably show up.  Murphy’s Law.  Dee found droppings behind the washer so I guess that’s it’s hold up.  None anywhere else.  I hate even seeing the trap in my living room.  
 

Had to make too many calls.  Med mixups.  Haven’t done my exercise treks down the hall.  Undecided about it.  I'm so tired of feeling shaky.  Trying to write notes frustrates me.  All the little things add up quickly to overwhelming to think of doing.   
 

James, I know how hard your situation is.  Even with family, you are alone.  I may be 'making it' but it’s so hard and painful.  I’m hanging in because I fear the options of having to leave home.  I often know that is what I really need, but I know it would put me over the edge.  I just want to be honest that I’m not as strong as you may think.  I live in a lot of fear.  A day doesn’t go by I wish Steve was here as I absolutely know I would be stronger (less pain for having help and not done things that aggravated things) and Mel would be here, unharmed by the fall she took.  It would feel like home and warm.  The holiday would be good again.  There would be reason to get up beyond knowing that to not do so is a very bad sign.  It’s a fight for us all.  A common bond.  I think we all draw inspiration from each other here.  I know I do.  You keep going despite the sadness.  That’s inspiring too.  💕

[nashreed]

I do keep going Gwen, but it's hard. I'm feeling some significant pain. I don't know what I did, but my side hurts a lot for some reason. It's really bad getting up from sitting and first walking. My back is messed up as it is and I can't afford the copay for a chiropractor. I have arthritis and sciatica in my back, but this is new- never had pain in my side like this. At least it's not kidney pain or kidney stones. I had them only once five years ago. It's a miracle with all the soda I drink.

I listened to a voicemail Annette left me, because I haven't for so long. It breaks my heart. I hate that I'm at the point where it's just easier to get through a day by not thinking of her. I hate that I avoid thinking of her and interacting with her things to make it easier on myself. I feel like I've abandoned her. But if I start thinking of her, the guilt and regret are getting to be more than I can live with. I still feel like I failed her. I still think about that night. It's so clear and vivid, when the good times blur and get distant with time. I hate that she still has such a hold on me. I still talk to her and her opinion means everything to me, and I feel like I'm grieving wrong and I have let her down by even not getting that right. It's really not worth living with this much heartache, but to give up would also be letting her down. 

[Widow2015]

2 hours ago, nashreed said:

but to give up would also be letting her down. 

James:  My feelings exactly.  To stop trying to live to our best abilities would be short changing them.  We don't have them with us physically anymore, but they will always be in our hearts and memories as long as we live.  I am sorry you are dealing with back pain to add to your sadness and grief.  Take care.  Dee  

[Gwenivere]

2 hours ago, nashreed said:

 I feel like I'm grieving wrong and I have let her down by even not getting that right.

We’ve always said there is no right or wrong.  Grief has as many forms as each person on this earth.  That’s a lot of variations.  I can’t not think of Steve in some way every day, but I cannot listen to his recordings.  As I’m still in our house, he is everywhere.  His absence is a glaring reminder.  For you, being back to where you were before you had her has become a trigger.  You may not see it, but I have in your posts.  We are forever bonded.  Dee is right, we do the best we can, but they would understand when we trip, fall and have a hard time getting back up.  We know they wish us what we would wish them if it was the opposite.

 I’m sorry about the back pain.  If there is anything I can relate to, it’s that!  I hope it’s not anything medical as it can get complicated.  It may be stress with the holidays coming.  I know you have a lot packed into a short time facing you.  Anticipation is killer.  I know as my varied hard days approach I’m even sleeping tense.  I’m only getting a few hours.  Otherwise it’s hovering over me and disrupting the rest.  And your sensitivity to sound can’t help either.  Hugs to you.  💕

[scba]

I can relate.

I'm having a hard time lately. I'm feeling drained, exhausted, unable to make good things for myself. I'm feeling angry, bitter resentful and sad. I don't know where these are coming from. Is it my ptsd back? Is it the stress from end of the year? Is it the pandemia? Is it grief? Is it all of that and messed up? 

I go to yoga twice a week and last time I couldn't held the positions, I couldn't stretch my body as the week before. I did as little effort as possible but 15 minutes before ending the class I stood up and left. I wasn't even breathing as it should be. My body was off.

I went home and reflected on the many ways I could still care for myself: take a shower, now rub your hands with essential oil, sit down and breath, listen to soft music, put a pillow below your feet......

And then something fell down..... that was a combination of survival kits. Why do I have an essential oil in my bag? 

I should have my love, my boyfriend, our life here and now instead!!!!! I felt sick,  wounded at the realization that all that remained is a survival kit to end the day. I should be raising our family, I should be planning trips. My friends are with their families and I'm alone with a prayer book to help me. Why God did this? 

[kayc]

17 hours ago, Marg M said:

Thank you, Marg!  And to all of you here too!

14 hours ago, Widow2015 said:

Probably not too many others here who remember having one black rotary phone sitting on an end table in the house.

Yes Marg picked up my quoting you.  Actually I DO remember that!  If a BF called we couldn't talk in private unless I stretched the cord out to my parent's bedroom where I'd have to run it under the door and lay in the floor, next to the door and it'd barely reach!  Too many prying ears in our household and never any privacy!  My kids don't know how lucky they had it to grow up in the times they did.

11 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Vet had said it wasn’t a good thing for their coats as it starts a cycle of stripping their natural protection.

I never knew that!  I used to give Arlie "baths" but it consisted of him standing in the tub while I ran the shower head over him, I trained him with a special treat in view.  Kodie has been hosed down when horrendous but most of the time he cleans himself up.  Good thing with my loss of strength.  I can't imagine doing that to an injured dog!!!  I'm glad she still has you as an advocate.

I haven't seen any mice or evidence thereof since the incident of the poker bludgeoning being the refrigerator!  I'm sure Kodie will be happy if I never have to do that again, it traumatized the little fella!

9 hours ago, nashreed said:

I listened to a voicemail Annette left me, because I haven't for so long. It breaks my heart.

I would give anything to have a voice recording but my last landline erased his messages, I hadn't realized it'd do that, my brain was in shock so not thinking straight.  I DO still remember his voice though, I loved it.

6 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

We’ve always said there is no right or wrong.  Grief has as many forms as each person on this earth.

This should be framed!  Or a sticky!  For sure.

2 hours ago, scba said:

I should be raising our family, I should be planning trips. My friends are with their families and I'm alone with a prayer book to help me.

I am so sorry.  Yours got cut short way too soon.  Nothing fair about this.  I also feel it, I got to raise kids but I hate that my partner is gone and I am growing old alone, that was not the plan, not what was supposed to happen!  Meanwhile my friends still have theirs...

[nashreed]

3 hours ago, scba said:

I can relate.

I'm having a hard time lately. I'm feeling drained, exhausted, unable to make good things for myself. I'm feeling angry, bitter resentful and sad. I don't know where these are coming from. Is it my ptsd back? Is it the stress from end of the year? Is it the pandemia? Is it grief? Is it all of that and messed up? 

I go to yoga twice a week and last time I couldn't held the positions, I couldn't stretch my body as the week before. I did as little effort as possible but 15 minutes before ending the class I stood up and left. I wasn't even breathing as it should be. My body was off.

I went home and reflected on the many ways I could still care for myself: take a shower, now rub your hands with essential oil, sit down and breath, listen to soft music, put a pillow below your feet......

And then something fell down..... that was a combination of survival kits. Why do I have an essential oil in my bag? 

I should have my love, my boyfriend, our life here and now instead!!!!! I felt sick,  wounded at the realization that all that remained is a survival kit to end the day. I should be raising our family, I should be planning trips. My friends are with their families and I'm alone with a prayer book to help me. Why God did this? 

I am so sorry scba. Why does God allow tragedies like the Christmas parade murders just this week? In my case, I have to say that God was merciful. Annette was in so much pain for so long. A few years ago, she had an eye surgery that was supposed to help her low vision and stop her Diabetic Retinopathy, but her eyesight was still getting worse, and it is very possible that she would be completely blind if she were alive now. Plus, she would not have been strong enough to handle her fathers passing.  Life is not fair, and its not God's place to make it fair. I have to believe that He has a plan, and that the life after death will more than make up for it. Annette and I always said "I'm OK if you're OK". I KNOW she is ok. She is in Heaven and I will be with her someday. 

It's very possible my back pain is because of stress. Something is always twitching on me, but maybe even that's not enough to get all the anxiety out. Thank God this place isn't closed for Thanksgiving! I'm gonna need it.

 

[Gwenivere]

8 hours ago, scba said:

I'm feeling drained, exhausted, unable to make good things for myself. I'm feeling angry, bitter resentful and sad. I don't know where these are coming from. Is it my ptsd back? Is it the stress from end of the year? Is it the pandemia? Is it grief? Is it all of that and messed up? 

I know the holidays, pandemic, isolation and my seeming botched surgery recovery is stirring up all of the above.   I woke up today terrified of death and wondering what mine will be.  Aching so much for my man.  My dog.  A life!  This surely is not one.  Yours was stolen so early.  I don’t know your age but I was almost 59 when he left.  7 years is a long time to live with this gaping hole.  The one you are feeling.   You might have kids by now.  Be in the plan you both had.  I know you must have had one because you still ache for him now.  There are times knowing others feel the same doesn’t really help.  I feel that in the really dark times.  In our homes/hearts we are.  

I'm in a really deep funk tonight.  A nurse came by to check my back redness, a minor acquaintance dropped some chocolates off but wouldn’t stay unless I wore a mask even tho we are vaccinated and were 6 feet apart, counseling was just crying and talking to Dee couldn’t break it.  Was hoping we could get something good for take out tomorrow but the only close place open is Jack in the Box.  Not the greatest. 
 

Hitting me hard about the holiday and my birthday.  Walking so very hard today.  Could be the shower yesterday or surgery complications.  Maybe both.  Just a dread hanging over me.  Pay channels are open for 4 days, but can’t find a guide for them.   

My oxygen stopped working.  I happened to check it when I took a nap and there was no flow.  Don’t know when it quit.  When the nurse was here I was at good saturation.  But I hadn’t exerted myself.  Tech is on his way, but I’m panicky none the less.  Didn’t plan on an adventure at midnight.  He was 67 miles from Seattle when he called.  He’s almost an hour late.  This company is disappointing for emergencies.  They said I could call 911.  My insurance would slam me for that.  They can’t even reach him!   
 

I’m going to try and calm down.  If I wasn’t living this, I wouldn’t believe it.  Everyone have the best day they can today.  Love you all.  💕

 

 

[KarenK]

Gwen, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday although it hasn't started out too well with the oxygen problem. Sure hope your day gets better.

Have you tried googling restaurants open on Thanksgiving in your zip code? We had our dinner today as Robert works tomorrow evening. I managed to pull off a decent dinner without a hitch. Unfortunately I have to add turkey to the list of things I can't chew. Everything else was okay though.

I didn't have any better luck than you did figuring out what's free on the premium channels this weekend.

[Widow2015]

9 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Hitting me hard about the holiday and my birthday.  Walking so very hard today.  Could be the shower yesterday or surgery complications.  Maybe both.  Just a dread hanging over me.  Pay channels are open for 4 days, but can’t find a guide for them.   

Gwen:  Sorry your Birthday is sounding like it is.  The Holiday is a bummer because we can only remember the Happy Thanksgiving Days that meant happiness and closeness with our spouse.  I try to tell my silly old lady brain; it is just another day and let the rest of the world make their own memories since I've already had my memories I'm living with daily.  

I don't know how to access "Pay" channels on Comcast and doubt if I could concentrate on a movie anymore.  

I do hope the oxygen tech arrived and corrected your problem.  That has got to be frightening for you.

My Thanksgiving will be with my son's family.  I really don't feel like being around so many people chattering about what is going on in their world but will have some more time with my grandkids.  I know I would make my son unhappy if I stayed alone in my little house.  I could beg off when I lived an hour away, but can't think of a valid excuse.  It will only be 9 people including me, so I will put a smile on my face and pretend for my son, working hard to keep the smile on my face. 😁  

I do worry a little about the "mask" issue too.   We have all been vaccinated except for the 10-year-old granddaughter.  I am around her almost daily when I pick her up at bus stop.  Hate to have to worry about what would happen if I even came down with a slight case of the virus.  Will erase that thought.

8 hours ago, KarenK said:

We had our dinner today as Robert works tomorrow evening. I managed to pull off a decent dinner without a hitch. Unfortunately I have to add turkey to the list of things I can't chew. Everything else was okay though.

Karen: Glad you had a good Thanksgiving with your boys, except for the Turkey added to your list of foods you can't chew.  How about turkey soup?  LOL

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you here on The Forum whether you're with family, friends or with someone in your memories.  Hugs, Dee