Gin Posted June 30, 2016 Report Share Posted June 30, 2016 Thanks Joyce and Steve for the encouragement. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted June 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2016 Gin, all of my "girl" friends, we have our dinners/lunches in the daytime so none of us will be on the road at night. I would feel bad, but there are about 15 of us (most all widows) and none will drive at night. So, see how smart you are, you drive at night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted June 30, 2016 Report Share Posted June 30, 2016 Daylight Saving Time. I already figured it out...I will be home before dark. I just have to insist everyone hurry up and eat. I do not drive at night anymore unless it were a real emergency. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted June 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2016 Good thinking. I admire that. Hate being out at night. Strange, scares me more up here in Arkansas with woods all around me than in Louisiana with people all around me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted July 1, 2016 Report Share Posted July 1, 2016 I was worried about making the turn on diagonal street, construction on that street which was going on the last time I was in that area, heavy traffic because of holiday, rush hour, etc.. So, taking all that into consideration, I left really early. I do not like being late. So there I am in the parking lot One Hour Early. A/c did not work. No wifi on my iPad. At least I could play solitaire while waiting. But I made it. I told Al that he must have been proud of me. He was always the navigator. He drove the city streets in a semi for 40 years and knew all the best ways to get around traffic. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted July 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2016 I just reread my post and honestly, did not want to bring back up bad thoughts of Billy's short illness so I deleted it. Gin, I am proud of you again. Gin, they have been working on the roads in Shreveport as long as I have been taking Brianna to her counselor. They will never be finished and I-20 is always backed up. You did very good, but I am glad you are home. You really did not have much trouble at all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 1, 2016 Report Share Posted July 1, 2016 Gin, you did it! That's how I used to feel driving in Portland, it's so big and I'm a country girl! My town has one traffic light (when it works). 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted July 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2016 Down to Louisiana again today. I don't think I will ever finish up here. At least I have the people wanting the house, so will be back Wednesday and will be on lap computer till then or Kindle. Have to sign my part of the "estate" over to my sister. What estate? None left. I'm not bitter. I never thought people should work to leave a legacy to their kids. That is up to the "kids" to make their own living. When that is not done correctly, all hell breaks loose. I would not have known that without Billy. I left home to get married a dumb kid and now am a dumb widow, but smarter because of him. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted July 2, 2016 Report Share Posted July 2, 2016 You seem smart to me-in the ways that make a difference. I think you are right about "the kids making their own living" and all hell breaking loose. Neither of my sisters had to make a living for very long, and somehow they seem to think that they deserve more because of that. Huh? My dad decided what he wanted to do with his estate, and before that, what to do with his wife's (our mother's) estate and property. A significant part of the money that ended up in my parents' estate-and went first to my dad-came from my mother's family. I never heard this, but apparently my mother used to talk about how it was going to go to her "girls". My sisters-esp the younger one- interpreted this as meaning that my dad should just hand it over to the three of us as soon as she was dead. They tried to get me to coax him into doing so. What a pair of greedy nut balls! My dad had Parkinson's Disease and he needed more than his pension and SSI provided. He also used his money carefully and with discretion rescuing all three of us during the recession. And now my younger sister has Parkinsons Disease and I'm sure she is hoping that her new husband is going to help her and set things up to continue to take care of her if he dies first...and he is ten years older than her. Take care of yourself, Marg-it really sounds like you have a lot on your plate! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted July 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2016 Too much on it Laura. I am standing still and I need to move. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted July 2, 2016 Report Share Posted July 2, 2016 I know what you mean-I am in the same boat! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted July 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2016 I passed by my little country church where Billy and I got married at 8:00 pm on July 3rd, 1961. The little church was full for the wedding. No invitations were sent. We were scared to death. And I did have nightmares I was in prison, and I woke up and I was. I am so glad he hung in together and did a lot of forgiving. I miss him.. We had company every night I have been down again because a classmate fell, hit his head and lingered for awhile, but he is gone now. I feel so sorry for his wife. I was talking to Hettie, my widow neighbor and she is three years older than me. She said "Margaret, at our age we are going to loose a lot of our friends". Of course we are. I remember my aunt was 90 and everyone was gone of her family except a sister and brother. She was a beautiful woman and to me did not look a day over 65. I wish you all well on the 4th. Still some drama down in these southern parts of the country. Some days I wonder if I can do this. Some days I know I cannot. Some days I want to admit myself to assisted living and just read my Kindle, but I have my granddaughter to think about. Anyhow, have as good a 4tth of July as you can. Read about the history of it. Good night, so very tired. I am in the apartment tonight. I love hearing the people outside, love hearing them fuss. That quietness at Arkansas made me imagine things. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted July 3, 2016 Report Share Posted July 3, 2016 Marg, I'm glad you are safe and sound in your new home. And yes, you are sound. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted July 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2016 I know how lucky I was, but I would have settled for 55 more. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 3, 2016 Report Share Posted July 3, 2016 ♥ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted July 3, 2016 Report Share Posted July 3, 2016 Marg - you are in my thoughts today and hope you can find a little peace today. Sending you big hugs! Joyce 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted July 3, 2016 Report Share Posted July 3, 2016 Sending you healing thoughts and prayers on this special day. Hugs too 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 3, 2016 Report Share Posted July 3, 2016 Margaret, Even though I've been busy working all day today, you've been on my mind and in my heart. Wishing Billy a Happy Anniversary up in heaven, and you one where you are, knowing you'll be together again to share in person. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted July 4, 2016 Report Share Posted July 4, 2016 Praying for you Marg, Peace and comfort. We all care and love you. Shalom - George 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted July 4, 2016 Report Share Posted July 4, 2016 Smarter, thinking about you today and hoping you have some peace. Gin 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted July 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 5, 2016 Saw my mom twice today, not conscious either time. Sleeping? Just drugged? Final hours? Some people fight so hard to live that do not really want to live.. She said she was ready to go. She is 95-years-old, she wants to be with her sisters. She mentions daddy ever so often, mentions Billy ever so often. But it is her sisters that she has always missed. They all had such a love/hate relationship but none of them seemed to have any friends, just sisters all my growing up years. So, I will have more guilt to get rid of. I could have helped more. They are having the fireworks over "Turner's Pond" tonight and traffic is so bad that I turned off to the right and came around by the old voc-tech school which is still standing, slightly. It seems like yesterday that Billy would pick me up for lunch each day at school. I was thinking tonight as I passed it, all grown up with weeds, windows busted out, vandalized long ago. There is a new one over off Interstate 20. Mama, Kelli and I attended the old one. Then I think of the years that have passed since then. I am thinking, how was he there everyday at my lunch time when he was supposed to be working? I think this was a dagger to my heart today. I knew the building was there but I guess I envisioned it used for something else and had no idea it just showed how life really was. It is like my friend said, I was blessed to have him for such a long time. Or I said "blessed" but the point was, it is well over half a century. And yes, I guess I am feeling sorry for myself. How can someone feel sorry for themselves when they are so blessed. What do they call that, a conundrum. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted July 5, 2016 Report Share Posted July 5, 2016 Marg, sonetimes my computer types whatever it wants. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted July 5, 2016 Report Share Posted July 5, 2016 If only we could go through life feeling blessed though we are. Bad things happen to good people no matter how blessed they may be and it's okay to feel a little sorry for yourself once in a while Marg. We can think we were lucky but how lucky are we. This is a rough time for you Marg and we all care, just in case you might want to know. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 5, 2016 Report Share Posted July 5, 2016 We can be both blessed and feel cursed at the same time. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookie Posted July 6, 2016 Report Share Posted July 6, 2016 On 07/04/2016 at 10:53 PM, Marg M said: Saw my mom twice today, not conscious either time. Sleeping? Just drugged? Final hours? Some people fight so hard to live that do not really want to live.. She said she was ready to go. She is 95-years-old, she wants to be with her sisters. She mentions daddy ever so often, mentions Billy ever so often. But it is her sisters that she has always missed. They all had such a love/hate relationship but none of them seemed to have any friends, just sisters all my growing up years. So, I will have more guilt to get rid of. I could have helped more. They are having the fireworks over "Turner's Pond" tonight and traffic is so bad that I turned off to the right and came around by the old voc-tech school which is still standing, slightly. It seems like yesterday that Billy would pick me up for lunch each day at school. I was thinking tonight as I passed it, all grown up with weeds, windows busted out, vandalized long ago. There is a new one over off Interstate 20. Mama, Kelli and I attended the old one. Then I think of the years that have passed since then. I am thinking, how was he there everyday at my lunch time when he was supposed to be working? I think this was a dagger to my heart today. I knew the building was there but I guess I envisioned it used for something else and had no idea it just showed how life really was. It is like my friend said, I was blessed to have him for such a long time. Or I said "blessed" but the point was, it is well over half a century. And yes, I guess I am feeling sorry for myself. How can someone feel sorry for themselves when they are so blessed. What do they call that, a conundrum. Marg: You were blessed and I was blessed and that is why we feel sorry for ourselves sometimes. I definitely have those moments. Of course, they don't do you any good, and eventually you keep on going. But, I know what your saying. Sometimes the bottom just falls out and I can't figure out the trigger. Then, I realize that everything is a trigger for me now. It takes very little. That is what I would like to get better. Being so sensitive to everything, something somebody says, seeing another couple together, going places where John and I used to go. I even considered how nice a lobotomy could be, but they say they won't do one (Ha). Really feel for you and feel like I'm right there with you....warmly, Cookie 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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