MartyT Posted November 25, 2016 Report Share Posted November 25, 2016 Dear Ones ~ With our Patty's permission, I want to share with all of you the wonderful article (and accompanying video!) that features our Patty and the thriving business she built with her beloved Ron: The Legacy Lives On At Maui Pasta Company 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted November 25, 2016 Report Share Posted November 25, 2016 This was wonderful. We know Patty personally now. The only drawback for me is my little Louisiana town is so far away from all that good food. I saw cheesecake. My granddaughter's favorite food is pasta of every kind. Everything looks so delicious. What a beautiful article and already feeling like we know Patty, now we know her for sure. You have really done Ron proud. I am going back and watch that video again. Thank you Patty for sharing and thank you Marty for putting it on the forum. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted November 25, 2016 Report Share Posted November 25, 2016 Patty, Agreed. This was such a nice way to know you better...and Ron. Thanks. Gin 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted November 25, 2016 Report Share Posted November 25, 2016 Patty, What a beautiful way to honor Ron. Wishing I could just stop by for dinner sometime. YUM! Karen 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted November 25, 2016 Report Share Posted November 25, 2016 30 minutes ago, KarenK said: What a beautiful way to honor Ron. Wishing I could just stop by for dinner sometime. YUM! Isn't that the truth?! I so agree with all of you! I just hope that our Patty will take some well-deserved time for herself. She is working SO HARD, and needs and deserves some serious R and R. I hope we all can encourage her to give that to herself . . . ♥ 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted November 25, 2016 Report Share Posted November 25, 2016 Oh, Patty, the video just brought tears (happy) to my eyes. How wonderful. How encouraging to see this and to see you again after your visit here during Steve's Art Auction Fundraiser. Good for you. Now I hope you give yourself permission to step back and rest for a little while. You so deserve it. Anne 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 Oh Patty, that made me cry! I am very touched by you and your inspiration and you and Ron's relationship and his legacy. You're both amazing! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 Patty, i so so wish that I could find something so special to honor my Al, as you do your Ron. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 11 minutes ago, Gin said: Patty, i so so wish that I could find something so special to honor my Al, as you do your Ron. You do, Gin, with your very breath. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mittam99 Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 Very true Kay. Gin, all of us honor our beloved just by being here. By our words and our thoughts and our unending love. I've created a memorial page to honor Tammy, had trees planted in her honor in a US national forest, put together some video montages of her life etc... But the most important thing is that they will always be inside us and we were forever changed because of their love. No matter how much it hurts at times to be without them, we were truly blessed to have found our soul mate. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 Some one said that we take one step forward and fall two behind. I believe that. But sometimes, just taking that one step forward is momentous. "It goes on" until it doesn't. Doing the best we can with what we are left with, maybe one day we can take two steps and only fall back one. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 3 hours ago, Marg M said: Some one said that we take one step forward and fall two behind. I've always heard that and doing the math, we would never make progress. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Tho I know what the above feels like at the moment. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 Gwen, So do I. Don't know why it is so bad again. Maybe the holidays? Just feel so alone. It is almost 4 p.m. And I have not spoken to a human today, except for the ATT guy when I tried to get my internet bill lowered. Was not successful. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 4 hours ago, Marg M said: maybe one day we can take two steps and only fall back one Lately it seems one step and fall back two. Yes, I am going backward. Some days I just stand still. No math. I hate numbers. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 5 hours ago, mittam99 said: Very true Kay. Gin, all of us honor our beloved just by being here. By our words and our thoughts and our unending love. I truly don't get this at all. I must be cut from a different cloth. My existing in no way honors Steve. Yes, he made me a better person when he was here. Now I am but a ghost of that woman. I definitely have more compassion than I ever did, but my 'just being here' in this hell serves nothing. It's emptiness and pain. I could create memorials to him til I'm blue in the face and it won't change that. By breathing and living I honor him? I'll never understand this reasoning. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 Marge I used to say even if I was moving backwards, at least I was moving. How I wish I could go backwards, say about ten years? I watch The Time Machine over and over and if there was one fantasy I would wish to come true, well, that would be the one. Patty don't forget it takes a lot of courage to smile for a camera while your heart is torn apart. You did good. Very, very good. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 Gwen you may think your being here serves nothing but there is a reason. There just has to be because you are still part of Gwen and Steve and that is too important for the other half not to go on.. One day you will find the reason. One day you will find the purpose. Sometimes I think there has to be a plan for why we have to live through this. Of course this is all blind faith but what else to do? Keep in mind I was never this optimistic in the early years. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 Correct me if I am wrong, but I think in some cultures now and in the past the wife would throw herself upon the funeral pyre. In essence, that is what I wanted to do. But, having been sick as much as I have been, I really think Billy thought I was going first. I was pretty sure I was and when husband and wife died so close together, I somehow thought the notion was romantic. I would read him of such things happening. He would not reply. Finally, he said, "really, I think the one left must stay." So, I guess that negated my heading off into the hills with his 50 morphine pills. I had to stay. I honestly do not think I am honoring him by staying, I was ready to go too. But, after this length of time, I still walk a tight rope to be here, but I do have "promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep." Hopefully. Gotta get that gal of mine on her own two feet, or have her find a rich man. That is my goal. I just want her to be happy and secure. As far as honoring them go, I guess the fact that we miss them so bad is honoring them in a sad way. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 1 hour ago, Gwenivere said: I've always heard that and doing the math, we would never make progress. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Tho I know what the above feels like at the moment. It's three steps forward, two steps back, so overall, you are making progress, even if at the time it's going backward. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 23 minutes ago, Gwenivere said: I truly don't get this at all. I must be cut from a different cloth. My existing in no way honors Steve. Yes, he made me a better person when he was here. Now I am but a ghost of that woman. I definitely have more compassion than I ever did, but my 'just being here' in this hell serves nothing. It's emptiness and pain. I could create memorials to him til I'm blue in the face and it won't change that. By breathing and living I honor him? I'll never understand this reasoning. Our very existence honored them when alive, and our continuing on continues to honor them. You can disagree, but that's how I see it. Undoubtedly we are of different cloth, we probably all are! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 3 minutes ago, kayc said: three steps forward, two steps back, Well now see, if I had known that then there is no telling where I might be right now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marsha Posted November 27, 2016 Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 Marg - Yeah, by now I should be in Australia, right?. Gwen: I so get what you mean. It was never about Joe's "legacy" - whatever that means. I still can't figure it out when people say that to me. Do you (and I mean those who say it) mean remembering him? Well, duh. He was human, and I won't put him up for sainthood. I will try to be the best human I can be, and a lot of it has to do with what we meant to each other, what we taught each other, the best of him and me - but to me, saying this kind of thing negates our feelings. Our rage, our pain, those messy human emotions that no one on the outside wants to deal with. So much easier to talk about his "legacy". I do understand. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted November 27, 2016 Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 3 hours ago, Marg M said: Well now see, if I had known that then there is no telling where I might be right now. Marg, you should write a book with some of the great one liners you come up with! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted November 27, 2016 Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 4 hours ago, Gwenivere said: ly don't get this atmust be cut from a differeth. My existing in no waynors Steve. Yes, he made me a better person when he was here. Now I am but a ghost of that woman. I definitely have me compassion than I ever did, but my 'just being here' in this hell serves nothing. It's emptiness and pain. I could create memorials to him til I'm blue in the face and it won't change that. By breathing and living I honor him? I'll never understand this reasoning. I understand. I don't get the concept of honor. I don't believe in the idea that I am are here for a reason, or that there is a sense for myself being alive. If so, my boyfriend's reason expired and the sense of his life ended, so he had/he was called to go. He had tons of reason to let him stay. But I am not God. This is my personal view on the matter. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patty65 Posted November 27, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 Opposites coexisting - "My other half" as the saying goes. We all don't have to imagine what it is like to be chopped in half and try to live that way, because we are already there, it's just not visible. I keep Ron's legacy going because it is the only thing that keeps me alive day to day. Call it his legacy to the island, call it the only thing keeping me alive to myself. I hated seeing myself saying Ron's name and smiling at the same time. Because the opposite that co-exists is brutal reminders of the ghost of everything he was to Maui Pasta. Yet it is what keeps me waking up each morning. You can imagine how much I hated myself for launching that go-fund-me campaign, "using Ron's cancer and ultimate death" "to benefit" Maui Pasta in the name of keeping his dream/legacy alive. But I've HAD to come to terms with it. It's all I had. I did what I had to do to survive, I guess. My friend - the one I have such a disconnect with over "proper grief" -- asked me what I had decided to do for Thanksgiving. I said what she wanted to hear -- that I was staying home alone, trying to find some peace at spending time there, and doing yardwork to "work off my sadness"... "You Go Girl!" and a lot of hearts was the response. Of course there is no such thing as "working off grief" with yardwork. Distract for a while maybe. Distracting ourselves with a stupid show or movie is as much "honoring" as anything else, as it keeps us alive for a little while longer. It's hard enough accepting my own reality of grief in a world that I have to suit up and show up in every day, let alone figuring out/accepting how the rest of our world accepts/responds to me for how they perceive I accept my grief. Sometimes the politically correct thing to say is what is easiest on ME. Rambling... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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