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Looking For The Positives


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In the middle of so many troubles with Maui Pasta... deep, hard troubles on the days leading to going to my parent's where Ron first got sick and where we shared so many of our most special memories... with my mom still in heart failure but at least out of the hospital and I'm praying stabilized, not knowing how to get through one more day...

A customer walked in, asking for me.  A deep sigh as I left my office to go out front at the shop to see who wanted to see me, my heart still racing from the recent bad-news lawyer call...  

BUT... This is what I got.  It was very special. And I am grateful for that genuine moment of comfort.

 

File Dec 21, 2 48 29 PM.jpeg

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Patty,

What a precious gift from someone you made an impact on!  I'm not sure which is the greater, the letter or the shawl, but both are given in such a beautiful spirit of love, both are a blessing.  It couldn't be given to anyone more special and deserving.

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10 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

  It's like the universe said.....this woman needs something to show her how special she is.  ?

You have that right Gwen.

Sometimes things like this can happen when you need it the most and Patty remember no matter how dark things may seem there are people out there that truly care. Thank you for sharing this so we all can feel this very warm and loving gesture.

:wub:

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Patty I love this drawing you did.  It's the stars and planets on the other side that I find most interesting. It's like there is another dimension beyond our physical plane. Perhaps that's where we get to travel to on our journey cross the other side. "Drops of Jupiter".;)

thumbnail_the eye in the tunnel.jpg

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By means of an explanation ...  That image was from a vision I had when I was deep in grief, sobbing one night of many.  The background stars is literally a photograph of the night sky here taken with an app called "Night Cap".  It took many versions of digital sketches to get even slightly close to the vision.  The actual vision was much brighter and much more glowing and all of the - for lack of a better word - spirits were swirling away from the source of light -- and the circular source of light has darker areas within it which at the time seemed to have the spirits coming out of it before they flew away.  As if the darker spots represented tunnel-like passages to other realms.  There was a figure standing in the center.

What is not in this image is a light being sort of spirit that came closer to me.  And while it will sound crazy, it was a non-physical creature that had win,gs - almost butterfly-like, with a long neck -- it was floating softly by in profile.

I call the images, along with the close-up of Ron's eyes that I see often, all with different emotional expressions - sometimes love, sometimes compassion, sometimes "smiling eyes", sometimes looking directly at me, sometimes in profile as if he is looking at something else.

I have not spoken much about these "awake dream" images when the grief is the strongest because it sounds so crazy.  But crazy or not, they are beautiful, they take a lot of energy to hold onto, but they in the end stay with me and make me feel better.  So, whatever it is... it is.

Crazy Patty :blink:

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Patty, it seems you are in tune with something deep, something most of us miss, and with your artistic ability, able to capture at least a part of it and convey it for the rest of us.  Thank you for that!

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“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.” 
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
 

I feel like we have had a Christmas miracle in our last report from Butch's family.  We have family all around us.  Blood does not always make us family.  Your fur babies are your family. My granddaughter is adopted and is my most precious Christmas gift every year.  There are other people who do not have family.  I don't know if you live near a place that feeds homeless people, but my admiration for Gwen and all of you who volunteer your time to those less fortunate has no bounds of pride for "knowing" you.  

I'm afraid my Merry Christmas angel does not look like me.  My feet are a lot smaller than hers.  Please have the happiest holidays that you can.  So will I.  A preview: I have bought a table cloth to set across boxes I am not ready to unpack and also all the stuff of my son's that I have no where to put.  Christmas on boxes.  I signed a lease for another year, so this is home.  And everyone will be here.  If they do not get along with each other, there are three rooms with TV's in them.  But I will take a Xanax about noontime.

merry.jpg

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Patty,

Your image is breathtaking, one of those that a person can interpret as their heart desires. You have so much talent!

Marge,

Yours depicts how I feel today, the difference being that my pain is in my head(miserable headache) and not my derriere. If one more person asks me if I'm ready for Christmas, I'll scream. I know it's a common question, but if they only knew. I almost had to laugh yesterday as a woman and I were discussing meat at the grocery store. All of a sudden she said "I am a psychic reader and I see such good things for you for next year regarding, health, finances, and well being". Dream on lady...............if SHE only knew.

Hope everyone has a pleasant Christmas.

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Karen, it makes me wonder if 'back in the day' I said those very things to people who may have been where I am now.  We just never know.  I've been asked too many times to count about my holiday prep and plans.  Yeah, sitting on my butt, often crying just wishing it were over.  The kicker is the pain will still be there.  The plus is people stopping talking about it.  Oh crap, there's still New Years.  That day we are supposed to look at a new year with all kinds of anticipation of shared plans.  Well, check your seatbelt....it isn't over yet.  

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On 12/22/2016 at 5:44 PM, Patty65 said:

I have not spoken much about these "awake dream" images when the grief is the strongest because it sounds so crazy.  But crazy or not, they are beautiful, they take a lot of energy to hold onto, but they in the end stay with me and make me feel better.  So, whatever it is... it is.

Crazy Patty :blink:

I think that's really cool, Patty. Lots of people have wakeful dreaming of one kind or another, but transforming those visions into art is really magical.

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My dad had a fabulous rosebush behind his house, which I am now saying goodbye to via a short sale. I loved those roses and am hoping to have more of them someday because a botanist was so kind to me and propagated some plants from cuttings for me. Meanwhile, the bush put forth a few last blossoms before the depths of winter and I have been painting the last few blooms, keeping them in the refrigerator while not painting them, to keep them from opening too fast. I did this a few days ago...

Daddy's rose.jpg

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20 hours ago, KarenK said:

"I am a psychic reader and I see such good things for you for next year regarding, health, finances, and well being". Dream on lady...............if SHE only knew.

Haha, yeah, that'd be my reaction too!
 

Marg, thank you for the laugh, you really have a way with words!  You should write a book, you could be the next Erma Bombeck! :)
 

18 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Oh crap, there's still New Years.  That day we are supposed to look at a new year with all kinds of anticipation of shared plans.

Huh?  I thought it was the day you made a resolution to lose weight!  

 

Laura, beautiful painting!

ALL OF YOU CHECK OUT BUTCH'S 22 YEARS THREAD FOR A NEW POSITIVE!

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Just weighed myself......This laying around with minimal activity apparently has me gaining weight over the season. And I thought I held back.......New Years resolution,same as last ten years, will follow up on reducing these recent 7-9 pounds.....Neighbours pitched in and surprised me with driveway and walks shoveled, great people....Love this town....

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Kevin,

I'm so glad you have caring neighbors!  As soon as you're able to be up and around you'll get the weight off, it's hard with inactivity.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Woke up early today and the full(almost) Moon was breath taking, not as cold so decided to do a little shoveling....Feeling so much better... On Monday going to sign up for two months at the Swim Gym......Early morning alternate rehab plan..swim one day and cardio the second.......Healthy body/healthy mind???  just keeping busy in this challenging weather season......

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Yes, Kevin, It was just so bright this morning, I took a picture of it.  Here it went had a mystical interaction with the clouds as if a message.  The early morning for me too is the part of the day that I can bake alone at the kitchen and listen to my music, and it gives me strength to get through the day when it crumbles around me.  I count on it.

 

Moon-1-13-17.jpg

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