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Looking For The Positives


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Oh, Marg, I am so glad you found some of the links about how to get through the holidays under Tools for Healing on the main page of our forum.  When we are in early grief we do not even think of most of the threads here. This will be my fifth year without my Jim and I am trying to live life without him.  It is more manageable than in those first few years.  It will never be as it used to be but it doesn’t mean we can’t choose to accept how things are now.   

Marty has an extensive list of readings that I have been taking advantage of for several years now. I search for things that might help me get through the holidays and the rest of the days without my Jim and her Grief Healing Blog at the top of the main page has a wealth of solid information to help us.  Grief is hard work and will continue to be until we take our last breaths. 

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Kevin,

Congratulations on the birth of your grandson!  May those ten days fly by and you be up and walking before you know it!  I have a grandson on the way, due mid March.  I hope it quits snowing sometime so I can go see him!  They predicted little to no snow and I already have several inches and it's coming down steadily!
I've wondered about the boredom part...am not sure what I'll do when I'm recuperating from eye surgery (12/21), ugh!  I don't sit still very well. :)

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This is seventh grand child, they range from 0-22 years..........I'm waiting for the "Great" grampa call one of these days......My kids are mostly or exclusively in Alberta now........Its a one hour flight or ten hour drive

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It must be fun when you go there and get to see them all!

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I'm going to be a grandma again!!!  This time it's my daughter!  I'm so happy for them!

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She's due July 25th.  I just hope and pray she doesn't lose it and nothing goes wrong.  She just lost her insurance (through her husband's job) but Planned Parenthood told her she qualifies to fast track onto Oregon Health Plan, I sure hope so.
We'd thought she'd never have children, she's been trying for years.  She'll be 35 when it's born.

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This is wonderful Kay, even more so because she has finally succeeded.  Your family's own little Christmas miracle.  Tell her to have faith in what Planned Parenthood says and that way maybe stress won't make her sick.  My prayers will be with her.  

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I talked to my son-in-law last night and he said she has an appointment to get the insurance going, she's supposed to bring in copies of pay stubs.

Another positive, my son came here last night to swap vehicles with me so he can work on my truck, and he spent the night!  He won't leave until mid morning, so it's more wonderful than I can say to get that time with him since it's extremely rare.

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Wonderful news about another grandchild, Kay. I wish only good news for your daughter and hope that the insurance situation is cleared up.  I'm really glad your son got there to take the truck. I know you are having some snowy/cold weather up there.  Stay safe. :wub: 

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He actually left mid afternoon, we had time for walks, talks, watched a movie, had some cocoa and homemade trail mix, he played with Arlie (who was beside himself with joy!), he researched what was needed for me to get a new wood stove (complicated since it's in a mobile home), put in my storm windows and fixed the frames, cleaned my chimney.  It was a wonderful visit, and the best part were the hugs and talks!

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My avoidance of music was rock hard in my head.  I could not listen to anything.  Oh, I could listen to my granddaughter's little group called 5-SOS.  I tried listening to Journey.  Could not do it.  Now after 14 months, music has slowly crept back into my life.  I grew up to nothing but country.  Daddy sang me to sleep with it and I woke up each morning to KWKH in Shreveport to the old guys singing the old country, because that was the olden times.  Never took part in anything but Elvis, The Pretenders, Buddy Holly, and Frankie Valli in my younger years, but mostly country.  I listened to music at work at night, I was by myself.  Country.  Billy didn't really ever care about music.  When my dad passed away, the music more or less went with him.  

Very slowly I have watched the award shows and music.  Then I heard something that was ground breaking for me.  An old song.  "The Sound of Silence" sung by a man from a heavy metal band (which I would have avoided), the man's name is David Draiman, I think, but the group is called "Disturbed."  This song spoke to me, this old song told me why I am living in this apartment house with a group of kids right now playing in the windy cold, playing basketball right in the park in front of my window, across the street.  Making noise.  Noise that I hear at night, in the morning, in the daytime.  It is the most beautiful song sung by this man and I don't know how to put it on here.  You have to go to You Tube and listen to him.  

Just one step forward for me.  I hear music.  Maybe I can look at pictures one day.

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I can't listen to music yet either, it was such a big part of our life and we would listen to everything, so there's not much out there that doesn't put me in tears.  I can look at pictures, sometimes that hurts too, but most of the time I just remember what we were doing and the joy that we had doing it.

Joyce

 

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