Margm Posted September 15, 2016 Report Share Posted September 15, 2016 Well Kevin, you are just gonna have to keep us all informed all the time of your improvement. So glad you are excited about this. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted September 15, 2016 Report Share Posted September 15, 2016 2 hours ago, WolfsKat said: Great news, Kevin! I'm sure all will go smoothly......please keep us posted! I want to 'LOVE' this. Not like, not give reputation, Love. Amazing! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 15, 2016 Report Share Posted September 15, 2016 Kevin, I sense your hope as you finally have a date to have it done. I just know you will do well because you're willing to put in the effort. I'm proud of you for going for it! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patty65 Posted September 17, 2016 Report Share Posted September 17, 2016 Maui Pasta just had its biggest sale day since I ran the GoFundMe campaign to save the business when Ron went into Hospice. Even in that time period, there were only 6 days better than today. Holy Mackerel! Maybe we will make it after all! I bet Ron's helping Thanks Ron! And thanks to everyone here who kept me sane enough to keep going... 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted September 17, 2016 Report Share Posted September 17, 2016 Congratulations, Patty! Ron too! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 17, 2016 Report Share Posted September 17, 2016 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 17, 2016 Report Share Posted September 17, 2016 Patty, It is wonderful to have such good news! I share in the group hug and the dancing Snoopy! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted September 24, 2016 Report Share Posted September 24, 2016 Now that is a Positive.......Patty so happy you got some Wind in the sails...and a few good people on the oars... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted October 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 I arrived here a few moments ago largely by accident. What a pleasant surprise to discover this topic is not only still here, but pinned to the top of the page. I had hoped people would find it useful--and it seems people have--a nice positive thought on a day that has had more than a few difficulties in it. I'm not here much anymore--actually it's likely been nearly a year since my last visit. My wife's death, nearly six years ago, still feels fresh as the day it happened much of the time. But I have meaningful work every day that needs doing. I now chair a fundraising effort at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston that is working to raise money for research into the fundamental processes of the cancer that killed my wife--we are years from a cure, but that research is where a cure will come from. I continue as CEO of the non-profit I set up for the same purpose after Jane's death. I've undertaken some huge landscaping projects, gotten back into serious photography, walk regularly, and do what I can to help others. Eventually, I'll get a book written--maybe two or three--including the one on grief I started last December which threw me into a tailspin that took months to recover from. I taught journalism in a summer program this summer with an old friend, saw some plays, learned to laugh again. My life will never be the same--but then that is sometimes the point of being alive. Everything that happens changes us--and loss changes us more than nearly anything else. Losing your spouse not a good thing--it's the worst thing I've ever experienced. Whatever higher powers exist have a great deal to answer for. But I'm not done yet. Sometimes that's not a good thing. Sometimes it's not a bad thing. We can only keep moving forward or stand still and look backward. I prefer the former to the latter, though there are days all I can do is look back and wish for something different. I walked 26.2 miles last Sunday. The sun was out. My legs felt good and my mind became still. I listened to friends and strangers talking as we went along. I felt the world coming almost into balance for a little time. Afterward, I got off the bus, hobbled to my car, drove back to the hotel and slept well for the first time in months. Today, it is raining and raw. I'm still recovering, physically. But the wind is rising in my heart and in my mind. And perhaps, in another year or five or ten, I will sleep well every night. Until then, I'll keep looking for the positive moments that let me truly be alive. I don't have the time or inclination to wait for Death or wait for Life. I'm busy living--as Jane was, even to the last. Pax et lux, Harry 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 Harry, It's interesting that you checked in the one day we're having our big event...Stephen is heading up a fundraising event in Phoenix/Scottsdale area. Creative people here donated their art and he framed it. I'm waiting to here how the day went, can't wait to hear about it! Good for you, you're keeping busy and active. I don't do marathons but I still walk Arlie twice a day, every day. Actively "retired", Treasurer at my church, help at the senior site twice a week. It's good to hear from you. This is one of our most important threads...we need to think of and look for positive, all the more so when we're grieving. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 How lovely to see you here today, dear Harry ~ even if you got here accidentally! We miss your presence here, along with your wisdom and your beautiful way with words. Please know that you are always in our hearts, and considered to be one of the most beloved members of our tribe. Peace and light to you, too, dear one, as you keep on keeping on. ♥ 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WolfsKat Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 Maybe these are not HUGE positives"..........but, especially in the days of early grief......these can indeed be cause to feel you've done something positive! 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 2, 2016 Report Share Posted October 2, 2016 Perfect, Kat! Thank you! ♥ 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted October 2, 2016 Report Share Posted October 2, 2016 I love this Kat. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted October 2, 2016 Report Share Posted October 2, 2016 Awesome, Kat. People don't know how those once little things are star worthy! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted October 2, 2016 Report Share Posted October 2, 2016 Those are very good Kat, When someone tells me they haven't been out of the house for last few days it makes me reflect a short year ago.......That I believe I owe to my dog, rain or shine, had to go outside...I gave myself that Star those days............Raking leaves now.. have a good day........Good thread Harry 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted October 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2016 Thank you all for our kind words. I probably need to be here more often, but life has gotten insanely busy between one thing and another. Next week is typical: a pamphlet to draft and design during the day and a fundraiser Monday night, house and yard work Tuesday, with a trip to the bank in there somewhere, two meetings in Boston Wednesday, tests on the nerves in my feet Thursday followed by a fundraising letter, theater that night, prep work for craft fairs later in the month on Friday, Cranberry Fest--relaxation--and theater Saturday, and some bookkeeping on Sunday with meal prep work for the week. People ask me what retirement is like and I have to tell them I don't know--that I didn't retire, just changed jobs. But I got the laundry done, framed and hung a new photograph, and changed the bed over to flannel sheets for the winter, today. I replaced the bedroom and dining room furniture this summer and am sleeping better as a result and getting more use out of the dining room than at any time since Jane died. My share of the furniture my father built arrived this summer as well, necessitating some revision of the layout in three rooms. Now if I could just get the cellar and garage cleaned out before the snow flies... I lost two NET cancer patients this summer who had become good friends--and have four others who are in varying degrees of significant trouble. It underlines for me that someone needs to be doing what I'm doing: raising awareness, raising money for research, and working as a patient advocate when it is needful. At the risk of being political, it has also underlined for me how desperately we need a real national health program. The things these folks go through financially and emotionally at the hands of insurance companies is heartbreaking. What I'm trying to say is that we all need to have work in front of us that has value. It doesn't make the pain any better, really, but it does create a constructive place for all that pent up hurt to go and provides a kind of respite where we can get out of ourselves and our needs for some hours at a time. I felt useless for so long after Jane died. Yes, I was doing some things that mattered, but I wasn't doing them particularly well by my standards. I'm still not running on all cylinders--on a good day maybe half are working at all--but it turns out even if you are moving just one grain of sand at a time, if you keep at it long enough and doggedly enough, eventually you can move a large quantity of sand. Tomorrow, we'll raise about $2500. It's not a lot measured against what will get raised in October for breast cancer--but it's $2500 more than we had before and will bring us to about $5000 for the last two months. And we've got a new drug getting approved next month that will buy some people some more time while we figure out how this particular cancer works so that maybe--someday--we'll find a cure and they'll get to watch their kids grow up to be adults. And we helped fund a new genetic study that turned up some really strange bits about this cancer that explain why this isn't like any of the cancers we've got even the beginnings of a handle on. So, yeah, some positive things are happening. And they warm my healing heart. Pax et lux, Harry 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 3, 2016 Report Share Posted October 3, 2016 Harry, I've been following what you're doing, and I must say, I don't know how you keep up! I hope your tests go well Wednesday. It's easy to feel that what we are doing doesn't matter all that much, but the truth is, it does to those we affect. It's good to have you here! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted October 4, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2016 We raised $3020 tonight for NET cancer research between dinner sales and donations. Yes! Pax et lux, Harry 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted October 4, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2016 Pics from tonight and from last Sunday's Walk. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Posted October 4, 2016 Report Share Posted October 4, 2016 Congratulations and I love your sign off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WolfsKat Posted October 4, 2016 Report Share Posted October 4, 2016 Harry, that is AWESOME!!!! You are definitely an inspiration!!!! And what a wonderful tribute to your beloved wife.....I know she is SO proud of what you are doing!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 4, 2016 Report Share Posted October 4, 2016 Yes indeed, what better tribute could there be! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted October 4, 2016 Report Share Posted October 4, 2016 It has been a year today that Al died. I cannot believe that I made it a year without him. I was dreading this day for a few weeks. I tried to believe that this day is no worse than the previous ones have been. It still seems so. Sometimes I do not think I have moved forward at all since that terrible day. I am very lonely and still cry a lot. I have tried to get out as much as possible....health club, 2 book clubs, but it just doesn't seem to matter. I have been battling with knee problems, anemia, eye problems, so efforts at volunteering have not been too successful. Today I will exercise and then out with a friend for lunch. I will probably look at our wedding album and remember what a great blessing he was to me. We had 16 years and they were the best. We were so fortunate to have found each other...me 60 and him 65. It is hard at this age (77) to make positive changes. I will continue to try. I so much want to honor him, but don't know how. I know there are a few more of us that will go thru this 1st anniversary this month. My heart and thoughts are with you. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 4, 2016 Report Share Posted October 4, 2016 Gin, my dear, I think you honor your beloved Al by getting up every morning to face the day. That alone is an enormous challenge ~ and you're doing much more than that. Please let it be enough ~ because it is enough ~ and so are you ♥ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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